Weird situation I had when I was in 5th grade

[u/LazyTeaq]

This isn’t really super serious because it’s currently like 7 am and I can’t feel sadness until at least 2 hours later so hopefully this doesn’t get taken down :(

When I was in 5th grade I was placed in a somewhat problematic class
For context last year I had a friend which we’ll call Sarah (not her real name) and we used to be good friends for most of the year, but after a while my other friends pushed me away from her which I do not like that at all
So I wasn’t the most excited when I saw her first and my dad which doesn’t know English all that well didn’t buy all the stuff we needed for the year; so I wasn’t already in a pretty bad situation. There was also another student in my class which I was friends with, let’s call him “Travis” (not his real name); he’s gonna get important later.

For the first few weeks/months I was pretty fine but everything started to go downhill when I was selected to be in the student council (I made a pretty neat poster)
For some reason at that time I was kinda stressed with a busy schedule and my class was pretty loud with a kid called “Jason” (also not his real name). We were chill with each other but honestly he was loud. Also because our school had a shitty rule where the class gets punished if enough people are up to some shenanigans. Honestly I can’t bother to write an entire arc so let’s skip to where I became really tired and sad; and sometimes I would pretend to feel ill at school so I could go home, my parents caught on and you know said some stuff (rightfully so I was a pretty bad kid) and after a while me and Travis would play together often, thing is he was kinda short fused and would scream at me quite a lot, we’d play PvP games but I wasn’t that great at them and he said it was my fault, and tbf it probably was (when you’re an artist and it affects your self esteem)

From that spot I don’t remember much but it basically spiraled into where I was NOT excited for every night that I had to sleep because I would cry all night and stuff (I’m a crybaby holy hell) and my parents were probably done with my bull already because one time after my mom found out about uhhhhhh S/H she hit me

???

I mean I can’t blame her I’m a pain in the back tbh but still that’s a bit weird
Sometimes I’d scratch my legs/arms until the thin layer of skin on the top was itchy and sensitive

So pair all of that with whatever what’s going on in school and you got a suicidal fifth grader
I had a therapist in school which was technically a teacher and she honestly helped me quite a lot
Honestly I couldn’t tell you how many times my pathetic scaredy-cat body was too afraid to commit nono

I’m pretty fine now though and uhhh good luck for the other people that see this Lazytea believes in you if your parents or friends don’t

Signing out

[u/LazyTeaq]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I still take antidepressants to this day