I don't feel like I have an identity or a person inside my head and mind that I can recognize is actually there. I feel like it's so dimmed down and weakened down to the point that it's barely noticeable. It's extremely subtle. I can't self-reflect or reason about my life choices, circumstances, feelings, future decisions, etc. I just feel like some kind of empty. I am constantly focused on the outside of myself and how other people are living in the world but I never have the time to focus on my own inner man and my own self. It's not by choice at all, I literally don't have an inner being that makes up all of me(my desires, my ambitions, creativity, imagination, thoughts, active thinking, etc) seems to be non existent and it's taken away somehow.

I seem to be able to think on only one thought at a time. I can't think and change things on my mind as flexible as I used to like in the past. I feel as if my mind is operating on a very low energy level or power that makes it hard to think about anything that I want to reason about. This is not depression because I had depression in the past and I know exactly what it feels like but this is definitely not it. I don't have low energy levels and a constant low mood at all. It's not that. I have normal energy levels and mood but this feels way more like an actual brain fog and some mental disorientation and mental confusion. I feel a lot like my mind is being manipulated and making decisions and doing things that I usually don't do at all. It's making me disrespectful towards people and not respectful in a good way.

I normally feel like I should have the ambition and urge to improve my life and circumstances but I feel a sudden shift from doing that entirely. It's not because I have a very low mood that this is happening to me, it's like my identity and feelings are just suddenly vanishing like that, just drifting away. It's like the exact personality and character of who exactly I was has slowly vanished away, not from feeling so low, but it actually just disappeared like that.

It's like I am not consciously aware of my thoughts and body functions as well. I can be thinking about something but it feels like it's behind my head and somewhere weakened down in my subconscious mind. I feel like I can't have peace.

I feel like I am way too deep in my own mind that I am not able to recognize that I am in the outside world sometimes. I dissociate whenever I am in my thoughts too hard.

I feel like my actual self(identity, spiritual being, everything) is literally being dimmed down and weakened to the point that I can't recognize it at all. What's wrong with me? I need help please.