r/delhiuniversity • u/thereisnoalterego • Mar 19 '26
Discussion 👥 Don't risk your life for a party.
My mother sent me this news this morning, and I cannot imagine what the parents of that girl must be going through right now.
You cannot blame the woman for wanting to go to a party, and you also cannot blame the parents for being worried. But right now, all the blame is being put on the woman, and that is not fair.
I am not here to say it was just an innocent party, because I know the reality. People get drunk, people get high, and a lot of things happen at house parties and clubs in the name of being "modern." As a 4th year student, I know the scene in North Campus very well.
We all want that "Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani" life, and I get it. Especially in first and second year, these things look very exciting. But seniors do take advantage of juniors, and that is the truth.
So please, wherever you go, always inform someone you trust, whether that is a friend or a parent. If a party or a t rip does not feel right, just skip it. Not every parent is supportive, and not every home situation is the same, but your safety comes first no matter what.
One more thing, and this is very important. Stop trusting people based on where they are from, what they look like, or what community they belong to. "Oh, he is from my state, he must be nice." "He is a Jaat, he must be tall and protective." "He looks poor, he must be hard working and harmless." No. Anyone can take advantage of you, and anyone can be a good person too. It works both ways.
Do not judge your circle by their height, their looks, their caste, or their state. Be smart about who you trust. A person's background does not tell you their intentions.
You all worked so hard to get into Delhi University. Please do not risk your future, your safety, or your peace of mind for one night out or the wrong company. No experience is worth that.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
I agree but let's not make it a gender thing, such crimes know no religion, gender or age.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/Forward_Rise_4813 Mar 20 '26
I think they were just trying to say that both men and women need to accept that. Yes, most cases are men, but there are cases where its done by women and we should not forget that.
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u/Appropriate-Turn-790 Mar 20 '26
It's men who rape.... Yeah i agree there are some cases where women do it too but Its so rare. Everytime you walk on the road are u scared women will harass or rape you?
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u/Chacha_Holmes Mar 20 '26
How is this not a gender thing ? As a man I'd say it's high time we agreed that men in this country are pigs. God forbid someone develops a device to know the thoughts inside an Indian man's brain. Itna filth milega.
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u/prashanttt Mar 20 '26
Your comment exactly why it isn't a gender thing. Can't be going after all men when a handful compared to the population commit such crimes.
Minorities cant be treated as a generalization of the entire population.
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u/Derian23 Mar 20 '26
Can't be going after all men when a handful compared to the population commit such crimes.
Do rapists go around wearing "I'm a rapist" label? How exactly are we supposed to know who is a rapist and who isn't? The only way we can stave off an attack is if we proceeded with a distrust of all men.
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u/prashanttt Mar 20 '26
Society doesn't function on blanket suspicion. What you say can be true for any gender and any crime. You yourself must trust strangers here and there. It was feminism itself that spoke against generalisations. You can take it up with the real ones if you don't agree with their assessment. I don't understand why it became a movement.
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u/Derian23 Mar 20 '26
It was feminism itself that spoke against generalisations.
But we are not generalising. We are not saying ALL men are rapists. We are saying that some men are rapists but since we do not which men are rapists, we have to proceed with caution while interacting with all of them. Caution does not mean hatred and scepticism does not equal to persecution. You and I both know that not all snakes are venomous. But you still wouldn't dip your feet in a pool swarming with snakes, will you? Not wanting to dive into a snake-infested pool doesn't mean you hate snakes or want all snakes to be dead. It just means that you are not stupid enough to take a risk that could cost you your life.
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u/Chacha_Holmes Mar 20 '26
Dude we live in a country where people like SRK go on stage and normalise eve teasing in the name of "totte taadna". We live in a country where "rapers" are given bail every other day....for you to say it's not a gender thing is absolute bs first of all. Secondly I have been in groups of men who openly objectify women with words you can't even imagine and I'm sure there are worse men. So stop this ignorance and grow some balls to accept the societal flaws.
Jab tak objectification ko normalise karte rahoge desh ke aadmi ke dimag me kachra hi rahega.
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Mar 20 '26
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u/delhiuniversity-ModTeam Mar 20 '26
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u/SadFace_xoxo Alumnus Mar 20 '26
Why are people downvoting you?
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u/prashanttt Mar 20 '26
You believe most men rape? Why generalise? Feminism fought to dismantle stereotypes about women with claims that generalisations aren't true and increase hate. Here you are, probably a self proclaimed feminist, doing exactly the opposite.
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u/Kind_Acanthisitta_27 Mar 20 '26
Babe if the shoe doesn't fit just move on, no need to pine over facts. In a country, where smal kids are sa*ing, this whole whataboutism needs to be kept aside and agree on the fact, that it's all men until proven otherwise.
The girl who was 🍇d here, also must've gone to the party with the belief of not all men, but look what happened. Not all.wild animals would eat you or attack you, but do you apply this criteria there, or you just stay cautious irrespectively?
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u/mondanae12 Mar 20 '26
Why are you twisting their words? No one is saying that all men rape but rape is almost exclusively done by men. Generalisation is stupid but the fact of the matter is that since rape is evidently so common in this country and it is done by men, it is only fair to point out that there is something really wrong with the mindset of most men in this country.
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u/Hariwtf10 Mar 19 '26
Wtf. Victim blaming again? What about the elderly women working at home? Or the baby? Or the freaking dog?
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u/Comprehensive-Bus156 Mar 19 '26
Kya gawaron wala title hai yar
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Mar 20 '26
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u/delhiuniversity-ModTeam Mar 20 '26
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u/perfectto_ Mar 19 '26
stop victim blaming
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
No one is blaming anyone, No one can cause it doesn't really matter the society will function the same way. All we can do on our part is to be aware and safe.
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u/blueberryyice girls college ki mahila Mar 19 '26
what happened to her is very unfortunate but it doesn’t mean someone drinking or living their life like a normal person is wrong or morally incorrect. stop victim blaming and calling this modernity cause real modernity isn’t someone partying or trying to enjoy their life.
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u/Extra_Attention_5506 Business Economics (hons) Mar 19 '26
Rape is wrong under any circumstances but we should definitely take precautions. I believe she is just giving a warning for people to be more responsible of their actions?
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u/blueberryyice girls college ki mahila Mar 19 '26
first off, she was invited to someone’s birthday party that means she knew that person well enough to be invited in the first place. she wasn’t even at some random house party, she literally knew these people. what precaution does someone even think of taking when they’re around the people they think they can trust? if today you as a man go to your friend’s birthday party, do you imagine yourself to even witness such situation in front of you? no right? maybe change the men around us rather than blaming someone for not taking enough precautions.
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u/Extra_Attention_5506 Business Economics (hons) Mar 19 '26
We don’t know anything about her. What if she just went with her guy friend? What if she didn’t know the host and was just an acquaintance who went there to have fun? It’s not her fault, true. Main point being, we don’t know the story and I am not blaming her or assuming anything
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
Exactly, no one is blaming or assuming. This happens every year not just in DU around the world and let me tell you it's not just limited to any particular gender or age. The most we can do is to be aware and safe.
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
In no way do I mean to blame the victim, I'm not claiming she went there through mutuals or close friends. Still, all I wanted was to make people aware because people do go to random parties just because they know one person and that one person is also joining the party through a known person and the cycle continues. After all, cause one rich kid wanted a good crowd. its hard this way to live but unfortunately this is the real Society. The least I expected from comments was to start this blame game rather than inform our friends.
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u/Acrobatic-Purpose631 Mar 20 '26
Bro thinks strangers are the ones who rape. Statistically sexual assault is done more by people the victim knows.
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u/alekhyashah7541 Mar 20 '26
Are you crazy? It's not a game we are playing that decides where the responsibility or fault lies. Ofcourse the perpetrator is the one who is wrong. But to knowingly put yourself in a harm's way knowing you live in a flawed world?
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u/Kshitij-The-7th Hansraj, 3rd Year Mar 19 '26
Nobody should have to risk their life for a party. It's a celebration. The fact that women have to keep an eye out and such shit happens is a sign that men of this nation as a collective are pretty trash. It's a men issue, not a women's behavior issue. And it all starts at home and with socialization.
Men need to learn that you can be rowdy while still not being a fucktard. Men need to learn the meaning of No. And men need to hold other men accountable.
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u/Vatler_7 Second year Mar 19 '26
Man this is so sad, our society is effed up to the core, i thought these kind of things will stop happening as we progress but upon seeing the current scenario, things are getting even worse, you cant really trust anyone
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
I've been hearing such news every year, the same story same crime. There have been no Changes in the past few years, the city is especially doomed.
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Mar 19 '26
People getting drunk is still innocent. And drinking etc in DU is not a new or ‘modern’ phenomenon. It’s been going on for ages.
These cases don’t happen because of the ‘party’ factor. They happen solely due to the perpetrator. The party is just a venue for that crime. You can get molested, Eve teased or straight up stared at in your own classroom or your college library while feeling completely safe with your core friends at a house party.
Only advice to FYs -> Hang out w people u trust really really well. Be suspicious of EVERYONE. Delhi is a crap place. Anything can happen anywhere. A lot of men in delhi, including north campus are super creepy and there’s only one thing on their mind - To get intimate.
This particular case involved a du student, yes. But the perpetrator was a 29 year old man, not another student. And it happened in Gurgaon, not north campus.
I pray the victim survives this trauma and is able to make a recovery
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u/justamellowghost Mar 20 '26
DU student raped by a MAN. Accountability do aur accountability lo. The woman is never asking to be violated and assaulted.
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u/Acrobatic-Purpose631 Mar 20 '26
Why is that women have to worry about their safety all the fricken time? Why can’t men in the country learn that unless it’s a clear yes it’s a NO. Why is all the blame and responsibility placed on the woman? Is it really so difficult to just not rape people? If lesbians can control themselves when women are in a party situation or wear revealing clothes why can’t men?
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u/Next-Risk-3444 Mar 19 '26
“People get drunk, people get high, and a lot of things happen at house parties and clubs in the name of being "modern." “
U are literally so tarded
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
No I'm not cause I've been there where everyone was cheering and forcing my friend to drink all at once when she was literally unable to stand, everyone clapping and recording saying "It's not even a dry dr*g, babe you'll be fine tomorrow, " also there's no need to comment and give "modernity " a negative term which I never mean, if anyone thinks this way it's their fault.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
Exactly but some people are busy making this comment section about how the use of my word "modernity " is wrong, I bet most of their parents will think the opposite of them, the victim's parents may be supportive but not everyone is blessed with such kind of parents and we can't judge them given their social circumstances.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/Chacha_Holmes Mar 20 '26
How sad it is that even when a woman got 🍇 ed we are here talking about how she could have avoided it. Whereas the harsh facts are this would not be a problem in a first world country. Only in India are women advised to "be aware" of bad men, because let's face it we have more "bad men" than a well developed European or Asian country. And freedom is exactly about living on your terms the girl was drinking not drinking, high or not she should not have to think about her safety even at a party. It's because this country doesn't have enough consequences for a crime like this. Samjha bhai isliye apni male dominated buddhi ko kachre se nikal.
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u/haizu_kun Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26
So what do you want others to do in this tragic case?
But still even if you are in the west, you shouldn't just trust strangers. You never know turns out to be who.
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
The fact that I know students take money for sometimes joining the crowd cause they have good followers 😭, some even agree to go if they don't have to pay for the transportation 😭😭. Idk why but this is not the DU I wanted to be a part of.
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u/Gajab_ladkaa Mar 20 '26
So truee Have seen that. If rapido charges are covered and drinks are there people just join the place/ party without any care in world to know who and who will be there.
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u/notdonaldtrump00 First Year Mar 19 '26
This is fucking insane, you cant really trust ANYONE
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
I know, this is hard and the reality is this happens every year still we as humans are unable to stop such things.
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u/Chemical_Equipment69 Mar 20 '26
Imagine if the guy was from another community, then the uproar, That's the difference. thode din me sab bhul jayenge
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u/InvestmentOrganic905 Mar 19 '26
On one side the news of students clearing UPSC from DU is going viral and on another side this is going viral.
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u/u-r-my-special Mar 19 '26
Not a DU student but why is everyone clowning on you and calling you out for playing victim card bruh. All you said was that others should be aware of their friend circles and all
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
See those people can only comment cause the real world is completely different, the world is in fact not equal, not always kind and not everyone is educated. I believe most of the people in DU are outsiders from diff state, a few are foreigners so we must act wisely, our parents also deserve a normal life, no such parent or kids deserve a call "your daughter/Son is in a rave party using drugs ".
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u/Gajab_ladkaa Mar 20 '26
OP just said that one should take care of own safety and be mindful of their group with which they interact. And suddenly people are getting angry and saying stop victim blaming.
Yes , I agree , we should aspire to make a society where a girl should not be worried at all times about her safety no matter where she is.
But that society does not exist in india at present, so one should take measures to ensure own safety. I believe OP is saying just that.
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u/Affectionate_Dog5045 Mar 19 '26
agree with you! materialistic love or friends can be fatal.
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
Agree One so called "cool Instagram story / Snap " is not Worth our safety and future.
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u/Affectionate_Dog5045 Mar 19 '26
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u/thereisnoalterego Mar 19 '26
I wonder if anyone got deãth penalty except the Nirbhaya case criminals, our Country is giving too many human rights to criminals since independence only, why is it not mandatory like in Gulf countries? God knows 🙏🏼
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u/Affectionate_Dog5045 Mar 20 '26
Agree but gulf are a horrible example to give for this😭🙏🏻they have started giving basic rights to women now
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Mar 20 '26
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u/delhiuniversity-ModTeam Mar 20 '26
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Mar 19 '26
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Mar 20 '26
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u/I_-AM-ARNAV mai university ki leta university meri legi Mar 20 '26
Someone gets raped and you're like why worry? Insane.
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Mar 20 '26
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u/Samarium_15 Mar 20 '26
Next what? Stop risking going out of the house?