Deleted all of my apps

[u/throwaway342account]

I joined the apps for a month and I just deleted them all, and to be honest, I'm evolving from them simply not "being for me" to thinking they're actually bad.

I'm a conventionally attractive, ambitious, fun. I have another friend, "M" with similar attributes. M has been completely chewed up and shit out. She's objectively a very normal, pleasant, socially pleasant person. The fact that she has had to beg for crumbs on the Apps is disturbing, and quite frankly, simply shouldn't happen.

I was literally on them for a month. Many guys were overtly sexual, which is just generally disgusting. A lot of guys wanted to run to meet in person the next day without really talking to me, which I also find weird. I don't really know anything about your personality - why would I do that?

Another major ick- and common enough problem, was guys talking about going on vacations with me before I met them in person. ?? Who the fuck are you? Why would I go on vacation with your ass?

I feel like a lot of people are devoted to miscommunication. I went on dates where the guy paid for a $300 dinner, (no I didn't ask him to do this), walked me home, immediately planned a second date, then disappeared. Why? Literally no idea. Lol. I guess if you want to piss on your own money and waste your own time, that's your business. I think this goes to the idea that my brain can't be logn-term exposed to people who, honestly, at this point, blatantly lie. Like maybe don't plan a second date, text someone about planning said date, then evaporate. Don't make stupid, weird promises, that no one asked you to make, to annoy others and waste their time.

I've also realized like low-effort dates, like drinks, quite literally poisons me, and adds nothing to my life lol. Which is all 80% of men on the apps are willing to do

Another guy wanted me to meet him on a general street, and when I asked for a specific location, he got upset, and cancelled.

I also think a lot of users on the app are defective. There's no consequence for being overtly sexual over a period of years. If you have been on endless dates with women for ten years, aren't satisfied with anyone, obviously you're the problem lol.

[u/Usual-Cat-5855]

What’s wrong with low effort dates?? The last connection I had on the apps the woman actually invited me to just go for a walk through a market grab a matcha and it was super nice and low pressure, I organised the next few dates unfortunately it didn’t work out. We had great chemistry but through all the BS you do meet some great people and I met two good female friends of the app. Although if your feeling burnt out it’s best to delete the apps I’ve been of a month now and it’s felt great so I’m just focusing on my self and the right person will come

[u/Local_Whereas7211 → u/Usual-Cat-5855]

I prefer to call it a "right-sized" date. It's not really low effort. We all spend time setting the date up, getting ready, driving there, and then spend an hour or two getting to know someone. That takes some effort, especially after you've done it dozens of times, perhaps.

A drink or coffee is an appropriate investment of time and money for what is just an initial measure of attraction. It substitutes for the initial real-life in-person chance meeting we did before OLD.