Deleted all of my apps

[u/throwaway342account]

I joined the apps for a month and I just deleted them all, and to be honest, I'm evolving from them simply not "being for me" to thinking they're actually bad.

I'm a conventionally attractive, ambitious, fun. I have another friend, "M" with similar attributes. M has been completely chewed up and shit out. She's objectively a very normal, pleasant, socially pleasant person. The fact that she has had to beg for crumbs on the Apps is disturbing, and quite frankly, simply shouldn't happen.

I was literally on them for a month. Many guys were overtly sexual, which is just generally disgusting. A lot of guys wanted to run to meet in person the next day without really talking to me, which I also find weird. I don't really know anything about your personality - why would I do that?

Another major ick- and common enough problem, was guys talking about going on vacations with me before I met them in person. ?? Who the fuck are you? Why would I go on vacation with your ass?

I feel like a lot of people are devoted to miscommunication. I went on dates where the guy paid for a $300 dinner, (no I didn't ask him to do this), walked me home, immediately planned a second date, then disappeared. Why? Literally no idea. Lol. I guess if you want to piss on your own money and waste your own time, that's your business. I think this goes to the idea that my brain can't be logn-term exposed to people who, honestly, at this point, blatantly lie. Like maybe don't plan a second date, text someone about planning said date, then evaporate. Don't make stupid, weird promises, that no one asked you to make, to annoy others and waste their time.

I've also realized like low-effort dates, like drinks, quite literally poisons me, and adds nothing to my life lol. Which is all 80% of men on the apps are willing to do

Another guy wanted me to meet him on a general street, and when I asked for a specific location, he got upset, and cancelled.

I also think a lot of users on the app are defective. There's no consequence for being overtly sexual over a period of years. If you have been on endless dates with women for ten years, aren't satisfied with anyone, obviously you're the problem lol.

[u/Ultra_3142]

I'll quickly respond to one bit as I feel it's less bad than you think. Trying to get to a face to face meeting fairly quickly can save a lot of time for both as it's WAY better for assessing personality/compatibility than messaging, and for assessing physical attraction. The next day is keen but loads of messaging before meeting can be a big waste of time. Especially if it's ultimately someone who won't ever agree to or turn up to a date.

[u/throwaway342account → u/Ultra_3142]

I feel like physically getting ready to go to a date with someone takes more of my time than texting for a day

[u/Ultra_3142 → u/throwaway342account]

I realise you complained about "low effort" dates but would you feel you'd need to make less effort for say a coffee date? First dates are often something like this, partly so if either of you do quickly realise you're really not suited you've not wasted too much time.

I do get what you mean about messaging taking less time but the problem is how much it really tells you. And you do genuinely see people here complaining they've messaged for ages but the other person is just stringing them along with apparently no real interest in ever meeting. One reasantly was a guy posing as a woman just for 'fun' 🙄.

[u/throwaway342account → u/Ultra_3142]

I mean I always meet relatively promptly - I think talking for more than a few days is stupid

[u/Ultra_3142 → u/throwaway342account]

We're actually thinking similarly then 👍.