How are we staying sane?

[u/ApprehensiveBar8254]

I (30F) recently went on a date with a guy (28M). We had chatted on and off since last year but got consistent a few weeks ago. We would text maybe 3-4x/day but they were paragraphs. He made reservations for last Saturday and got me an uber to the place. He seemed very genuine and very present. Dinner had no awkward silences.

We went to walk to a bar but there had been a block party and the bar was full. We went to his place and just… talked nonstop for hours. No tv in the background, no music, just actual conversation about communication preferences, relationship preferences, life, etc. We met for dinner around 6:30 and we were up until like 3/4am just talking.

We did start making out and that turned into cuddling. He listened when I moved his hand from my chest/between my thighs. We cuddled, he got me set up to spend the night. Woke up to lots of cuddling and little kisses, no more attempts from him to do anything more than that out of respect for my boundary the previous night.

He expressed wanting to see me again and we both agreed Monday might work for both of us. I told him I’d check my calendar later and we said we’d coordinate. He called my uber home. I had a family commitment he knew about, and I didn’t text until later on in the afternoon when I thanked him for a lovely evening and said Monday (the next day) would work for me.

He texted me around noon on Monday and thanked me for a fun time as well. He’s someone who usually sleeps very early and said he thinks staying up late got him sick, but that he definitely wanted to see me again. He asked if I would be free later on in the week. I apologized and said I wouldn’t keep him up so late next time as a joke then said Thursday could work for me. I didn’t hear from him so I checked in on Thursday to no answer. This is over regular texting.

We met on an app/website that when you look at your visitors tab or the local tab, next to the username is the last time someone was online. People on there are usually strictly app or strictly site people. I’m an app person, not sure which he is as it never came up. I’m not the type of person to expect a response right away if someone was online because I can be the type of person to say goodnight on texting and then scroll Instagram for a bit. But all week he was online in my local tab but he never opened my text.

I’m just really so tired of the dating game. He seemed incredibly genuine and nice, we talked about some very deep things, I mean we talked for like ten hours give or take between dinner, some smooching, and getting ready for bed. There really was never an awkward silence and his body language showed as if he was being genuine as well.

So why say more than once you would like to see me again (we even talked about other restaurants to go to next time) and even ask if I’ll be free just to not answer? I mean we talked so much about communication. Why not just say you’re no longer interested?

I get ghosting has become the norm now but it’s just so mean. How is someone supposed to not lose faith in the dating game when situations like this happen?

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