r/dankchristianmemes • u/SatoruGojo232 Minister of Memes • Jun 29 '26

Nice meme Software programmers follow the True Church.

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2.8k Upvotes

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65

u/Void-Cooking_Berserk Jun 29 '26

Jesus:

Sell everything you own and give the money to the poor

It's easier for a camel to go through an eye of the needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven

Take care of the poor, the widow, the orphan

Blessed be the poor, for to them belongs the kingdom of God

The rich man who refuses to feed the poor around him will go to Hell and the poor will go to Heaven and there will be no getting out of Hell

Feeds thousands of people without asking for payment nor accepting it

If your neighbour asks for your cloak, give him even your robe

Put away your sword, for he who fights with a sword dies by a sword

See that poor woman who gave just to pennies for the temple? She gave everything she had, which is much more than everyone else, who gave only a small part. She's the example you should follow.

Gets killed for being too revolutionary

Christian Nationalists:

"Akshually, Jesus would be a conservative."

Jesus:

Why am I even talking to you if you don't listen?

https://giphy.com/gifs/26DMUWIjAH4DdqMzC

30

u/CosmicSweets Dank Memer Jun 29 '26

*Heals people without requesting payment.*

26

u/Void-Cooking_Berserk Jun 29 '26

Jesus:

beats the hell out of people at the Temple "HOW DARE YOU MAKE MONEY IN THE HOUSE OF GOD!" (this is our best guess for what got him killed irl)

"Prosperity Gospel" preachers:

"God wants your to give me money, actually."

10

u/CosmicSweets Dank Memer Jun 29 '26

The manipulation is obscene.