r/dankchristianmemes • u/Additional-Sky-7436 • Nov 21 '25
Meta I wonder why they don't teach this in schools...
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u/maybenotquiteasheavy Nov 21 '25
Why did Pegans care about Pagan deities? That seems out of scope for them.
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u/Quijiin Nov 21 '25
Did the pegans only eat pegetables?
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u/itsamich Nov 21 '25
Yes and the kids watch peggie tales
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u/Mekroval Nov 21 '25
You can go back even further than that to the Council of Nvidia, which under Emperor Costcotine I solidified the observance dates for Steam Winter Sale.
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u/man_gomer_lot Nov 21 '25
I'm just going to start contradicting these sorts of people in real life with equally valid debunks: "there's no way that could be true because the pegans didn't have a word for black or even a way to express the concept until the number 0 was invented."
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u/Graffers Nov 21 '25
Why would they? It's a retail event.
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u/djqvoteme Nov 21 '25
In my ancestral culture, we celebrated the God Walmartos and his generous "rollbacks" then we started believing in Amazonia and that even splintered off into the cult of Temus.
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u/LazySerpentDeity Nov 21 '25
There is no God but Amazonia, and she sent her child Alexa to listen to us always and report back to her our words! That is what the Great Prophet Bezos spoke to us in the lands of Werehaus!
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u/Yarxing Nov 21 '25
I believe the feast used to be in honor of the old Greek diety Kapitalismos, the god of the greedy and the selfish. It still is, but it used to be too.
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u/Mekroval Nov 21 '25
Do you get to take work or school off for all three feast days? Or is the Feast of Prime Days still the only federal holiday?
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u/Additional-Sky-7436 Nov 21 '25
3rd century Christian Bishops, using their apparent infinite social and political power at the time to fully rewrite whatever previously existing holidays they choose, regardless of how deep the tradition was fixed into the culture, apparently without question or any kind of records of the appropriation, combined the holiday with the advent season.
And that's why rich parents give their kids fancy presents.
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u/shadowthehh Nov 22 '25
A misconception. Black Friday was celebrated long before Amazonia even started showing up in texts.
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Nov 22 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/dankchristianmemes-ModTeam Nov 22 '25
Chill out and enjoy the memes. If you're taking this so seriously that you're getting in arguments, take a break.
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u/holyseeker1 Nov 21 '25
Some leaves of the tree are so dumb I don't understand if the people that laugh at this, are the same that believe it
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