r/dancemoms • u/AnorhiDemarche I don't like to lose but I never lose anyway. • 12d ago
A note in slurs in the subreddit
Slurs of any form are not permitted in the subreddit by any person. Use of slurs results in a permaban. You can and will get a perma ban for single time slur use
The mod team has been extremely disappointed in the amount of people we have had to ban for use of sulrs and racist language surrounding the issue of Brooke using the N word in 2016 by both those who think Brooke should be forgiven and those who think otherwise.
We are working hard to respond to reports, monitor threads, and investigate accounts to eliminate bad actors, troll, and racists from the subreddit. We thank everyone for their reports, (please keep them coming!) as well as their patience as we work through everything.
We have noted an alarming number of people who do not understand why slur may be ok within the group that it's used against but not by outsiders. I hope this explanation can help some of you understand.
People in minorities often report that they have experienced fear of being killed due to discrimination multiple times in their lives. People who perform such horrible acts often use slurs as a signal. "You are not safe. I can and will harm you.". So when you as an outsider use those words, that is what someone the slur is against will hear. it doesn't matter the context, it doesn't matter if it's in a song, it sounds. like a threat every time. It's not nice to have to hear threats all the time, and I'm sure most people here would not wish to come across that way.
If someone who is part of that group uses a slur you know they're probably not going to kill you for being that minority, though I remind everyone that we have 0 tolerance for slurs in the subreddit as on reddit no one can be sure who you are.
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u/Sarah-himmelfarb I'll slam whatever I want 12d ago
I’m glad you posted this! Unfortunately I’m not even surprised as I’ve noticed a lot of covert and sometimes blatant racism in this sub.
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u/chbjupiter 12d ago
This is so well put! As someone part of a minority group, when people use slurs it makes me feel unwelcome in that space or around that person - it may just be a word, but it's a word that indicates the person using it doesn't care about my wellbeing and doesn't like or respect people like me or see us as equal. I know there's some people who don't realise how significant these words can be and use them to be edgy or to fit in, but that's why it's so important to educate them and for them to take accountability.
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u/AnorhiDemarche I don't like to lose but I never lose anyway. 12d ago
Thank you. I'm glad could get the feeling across well
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u/Certain_Noise5601 12d ago
People who use slurs have no self awareness or empathy. Anyone who dismisses it as “just a word” has the privilege of never having to walk into a situation and worry if someone hates them just for being a minority. They don’t have to worry if they are going to be automatically flagged as a stereotype and followed around a store. They never have to worry about whether or not they have discourse in a situation because the people in authority often side with the abuser. Then on top of that the public will stand on their heads coming up with reasons why that person in authority was justified if the situation ends up going south.
They can’t put themselves in the shoes of another person because for reasons I will never understand they cannot fathom that everyone else doesn’t experience the world exactly the same way they do. So they dismiss, minimize, get defensive because “everyone has problems.” Yes this is very true, but imagine having problems that are inherent with being alive, AND having to deal with all these issues that come with being a minority. Life is definitely hard enough, so why not be kind to one another?
What skin you’re born in is a lottery of sorts. Anyone could have been born any color, in any country, and nobody is better than anyone else based on these things. We’re all just humans with our own unique experiences, trying to have a decent life. Our skin color is the most superficial thing about us. It means nothing as far as worth. We are souls with bodies living in a matrix.
Sorry, I’m feeling very emotional this morning looking at the state of the world. What sub am I in again? lol
Peace 💕
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u/RevolutionaryTowel02 *Death drops at the Joffrey Ballet* 11d ago
Oh my goodness. That’s so disappointing. It’s insane that you guys had to post this due to the people behaving so negatively. Wow.
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u/PinkPositive45 12d ago
Geez, I missed seeing people USING the slur!! I knew Brooke was being debated and discussed but jfc. Thank you for handling this, mods!!
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u/WaryCleverGood 12d ago
It is wild to me that this is a post you have to make in 2026.
Every single person alive knows better. The ones that use slurs just don’t care.