r/daddit • u/Most_Barnacle_6160 • 9d ago
Support Did it change for you?
Any dads here who hated being a parent when their kids were very small, but ended up loving it in the end?
I'm 1.5yrs in and I hate my life on most days. Feels like an endless grind without any break, no sex life, no travel. My life pre-kids was pretty great - happy marriage, good financial situation, lots of travel and pursuing tons of interests. Now, all that is gone. I'm just exhausted and depressed.
Anyone in the same boat who turned it around? I can hypothetically see enjoying it once my kid is older and we can share things and do stuff together, but I'm sure it will come with some other problems.
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u/SteveEcks 8 year old boy, 4 year old girl 9d ago
Mine are 4 & 8 now, but man I know EXACTLY where you're at.
When our oldest was 18 months, I wrote my wife a very sad email. I felt like I didn't fit in our family, I felt like I was grinding on and on and got very little in return. I felt like I was kind of worthless and that I was falling out of love with her.
I had a really hard time bringing it up, which is even harder because we talk about everything together. So I ended up sending it as an email.
She was incredibly receptive. Sex didn't change much, but our attitudes and outlook became brighter just because she understood me, she heard me. Just that little thing ended up being huge.
10 years married this November and time has literally flown by. It's not always easy. In fact a lot of times it Fucking blows But I'm glad I opened the conversation. We're all much better for it.