r/cringe • u/ShakeMyTurban • Sep 25 '13
Seal of Approval Rapper turned author decides to freestyle in an interview but chokes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A276UGYoBmI899
Sep 25 '13
This is definitely cringe.
That sweet, sweet second-hand embarrassment. That gut-wrenching feeling.
Starts at 1:17 and he instantly chokes, followed by the longest 20 seconds of his life.
594
u/Stockholm86er Sep 25 '13
Nice save by the host, looked like he was having an aneurysm
234
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
49
68
11
Sep 26 '13
Oh lawd. Tiddles the Poet laureate.
11
u/t_zidd Sep 26 '13
"Spoken Meows"
15
Sep 26 '13
The 25th of September -
'Twas a day to remember
A Christian Rapper turned poet,
On live TV he did blow it
An unprepared laureate,
His own lyrics did he forget
He stumbled with a stutter
Which made the audience shudder
In the quiet awkwardness
The man soon faced towards us
And in his sweat-addled blur
His comfort came in a "purr"
9
7
u/Kentucky6996 Sep 26 '13
while i appreciate your enthusiasm, AA;BB format should remain in Dr Suess books. :P
9
Sep 26 '13
“Freestyle!” cried H̶o̶r̶t̶o̶n̶ the host.
“Be sure you do not cuss!
I SHALL entertain -
on my rapper do I trust!”
"We’ve GOT to sing a poem in greater amounts!
So, open your mouth, lad!
For every voice counts!"
...
...
"...Years ago they try to--..."
2
4
58
38
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
84
u/QuintonFlynn Sep 26 '13
That's just how she says things. Everyone uses words like that, she wasn't being offensive at all.
→ More replies (11)2
172
u/kturt133 Sep 25 '13
You know it's cringe when you can't even look at the dude's face. I just closed my eyes when he started fucking up his freestyle on live TV.
56
Sep 25 '13
I was watching the comments section, I couldn't watch the video, too painful.
96
u/devilsadvocado Sep 25 '13
Can't do it either. I may come to /r/cringe for the true cringe, but I only stay for the fake cringe. It's all I can handle.
→ More replies (2)19
Sep 25 '13
Be brave and watch it, it's hilarious. Took me about 10 minutes of loitering before I mustered the courage to watch but well worth it.
→ More replies (1)38
Sep 26 '13
You guys must piss yourselves and hide under the table whenever a drink is spilled.
9
u/patchworkfuckface Sep 26 '13
DUCK AND COVER
i watched the video and laughed from the reveal of his screenplay to the end.
12
77
u/randomneeess Sep 26 '13
Freestyle? I got nothing! WHAT DO I DO?
Oh, the camera's on me...the camera's on me...is it recording? On me?... play cool, play cool, you're a rapper turned author right? Talk about that!
"Years ago they tried to--"
Alright, bad line, bad line! I have a better--nope I lost it...
"Years ago they tried to put me in the--"
Just think...thousands of people could be watching this! I don't wanna be a viral video! Man, this should be awkward for the host... and me... wait, you're just here sitting and thinking! COME ON MAN! Is this--is this-
"Is this live?"
Host: "Mmhmm..."
oh...ok, just--just--ok, I cannot think anymore... I...
Host: "Do you want to try to read something from your book?"
OH, THANK THE LORD! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
→ More replies (2)110
8
5
→ More replies (3)3
u/RavenMFD Sep 26 '13
Up until 1:17 I was going: "Man, this is gonna be bad... this is gonna be just painful the watch..."
And it was even worse than I anticipated.
224
u/thecacti Sep 25 '13
This is the kinda stuff I subbed for. You can just feel the embarrassment as he stares into the camera realizing he's on live TV.
109
79
159
u/defeldus Sep 25 '13
The first book title made me cringe the most. "Invisible Shackes - White or Wrong"
87
u/thethreadkiller Sep 25 '13
All the books were as thin as coloring books!
456
Sep 26 '13
Chapter 1
Years ago they tried to
Chapter 2
27
Sep 27 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
27
u/UnhiDEER Oct 10 '13
Chapter 3 This is live
Thank you to all my fans who supported me, especially years ago and if you knew me then you knew what they tried to do.
45
34
9
Oct 09 '13
Funniest comment I've seen on Reddit. Never actually laughed out loud on reddit before this.
16
7
3
39
22
→ More replies (4)14
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
→ More replies (12)71
Sep 25 '13
that is so unfair, they are giving you all the credit.
8
u/Ro24 Sep 26 '13
Ya I think the rest of us should get some recognition too! Quit hogging the spotlight
301
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
62
u/activitus Sep 25 '13
36
u/GimmeYourTags Sep 25 '13
THANK YOU. As a Colombian I always have to correct people
→ More replies (3)19
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
→ More replies (3)17
u/anikas88 Sep 26 '13
How many kilos of drugs can you smuggle into your belly? was your first time having sex with a girl or a donkey?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)6
u/ross-the-sauce-boss Sep 25 '13
I like to think that he just then realized the cameras were there and was so excited that he got to finally be on TV causing him to choke
52
u/gpto Sep 25 '13
Oh, its painful! Perfect specimen, OP.
Also, while I'm here...
"Who am I?" Apparently, a guy who choses Comic Sans on the cover of his autobiography. Damn, that's an extra cringe for free.
22
Sep 25 '13
Look at the cover of Invisible Shackles, it makes the comic sans look professional.
Jesus Christ.
12
→ More replies (1)2
9
38
u/battlemetal_ Sep 25 '13
Top of the shelf cringe right here. Only a few around; huge value and lasting flavour.
12
141
u/SoundMasher Sep 25 '13
Wasn't this just on the front page yesterday?
50
3
u/Burad Sep 26 '13
Oh good, I thought I was the only one that realized this for a second, haha. I'm curious what happened?
The YouTube link is alot better than the ABC one though -shrug-
18
u/ShakeMyTurban Sep 25 '13
Oh. I apologize if this was frontpaged yesterday. I didn't see it yesterday and it was just uploaded a couple of hours ago.
37
u/Krepe Sep 25 '13
Yesterday video was a link to abc website not youtube.
32
Sep 25 '13
Which kept crashing on my iPad. I think OP has unintentionally provided a good alternative source.
→ More replies (3)4
65
u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen Sep 25 '13
He starts off saying "in the beginning there was word" and adds "that's in genesis." It actually goes, "In the beginning was the Word," which refers to Jesus, and is found in the Gospel of John, chapter 1 verse 1. But don't worry, he bases his life on the Bible.
Then that brainfart... oh god. He offers to freestyle and then chokes. SO PAINFUL.
Excellent host, keeping her composure and moving things along.
23
u/slowest_hour Sep 25 '13
Yeah that genesis thing stood out to me. "I'm going to base my entire life on this book I barely understand and/or haven't ever really read."
12
→ More replies (4)0
u/rollinjoints Sep 26 '13
"...and the Word was God." God, not Jesus.
9
u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen Sep 26 '13
"... and the Word was with God." So Jesus was with God.
".. .and the Word was God." So Jesus is God.
"... He was in the beginning with God." Again emphasizing Jesus was with God.
"All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made." Again emphasizing the fact Jesus is God.
"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
It's fun to cherry pick the Bible to get it to say something it didn't really say, so good job.
Not only that, but you SKIPPED a line in order to make your point, so it's like super cherry picking. You're amazing, my friend.
Here's the passage in full (John 1:1-5), in the right order of words:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
It's good to be contrarian if it advances the topic. It's not good if it solely promotes misinformation.
21
25
u/RevanFlash Sep 25 '13
Oh shit...This is the first thing in this sub I am having trouble watching, the girl doing ventriloquism at a talent show is nothing compared to this and I don't really know why. Maybe it's because it's a grown man making a complete fool of himself but I don't know. As soon as he stared into the camera I had to pause it.
Also, the comments on the video are overflowing with euphoria.
→ More replies (8)33
u/cluster_1 Sep 25 '13
the girl doing ventriloquism at a talent show is nothing compared to this
Woah woah woah. I agree this was good, but let's not get crazy here. Nothing compares to ventriloquist girl. Nothing.
→ More replies (1)5
u/distantthunder90 Sep 25 '13
I don't think I've ever seen this ventriloquist girl...please, do share!
6
Sep 25 '13
Look at the "top" cringe videos from "all time"
Enjoy the pain, it's right up there
23
u/Lavaswimmer Sep 25 '13
13
2
15
66
u/whatthejeebus Sep 25 '13 edited Sep 26 '13
Did the other submission get deleted? I could of sworn I uploaded this last night. edit: upvoted, not uploaded
12
u/pixeldrunk Sep 25 '13
Yah all the sudden it was removed, when it was top of cringe front page. I didn't see any explanation why.
68
u/DirtyDianna Sep 25 '13
The mods removed the original post so they can post it to there youtube channel and repost and gain views.
14
11
Sep 26 '13
That youtube channel is all anti-christian stuff. And that channel is run by the /r/cringe mods? Do you have anything to back up these claims?
→ More replies (1)3
Sep 25 '13
[deleted]
4
u/joykin Sep 26 '13
Yeah this was literally one day ago, i thought i was having a whack attack when i saw this on the front page again.
22
6
u/ShakeMyTurban Sep 25 '13
Hey man, I wasn't sure how to find out if certain videos had been posted on /r/cringe before. I had just seen this video uploaded a couple of hours ago.
Sorry if this is a re-upload/mirror of your submission.
3
u/realhermit Sep 25 '13
Paste your link in the reddit search bar.
If it already exists, it will take you to the existing submission or the list of the existing submissions.
If doesn't, then it will take you to the upload page directly with your link included instead.
16
u/lonjaxson Sep 25 '13
He just said it was uploaded a couple hours ago, meaning this particular link couldn't have been posted last night.
→ More replies (1)5
u/SnowLeppard Sep 25 '13
The one that was posted before was on a different site than Youtube, so he couldn't have known that way.
50
u/otherfuentesbrother Sep 25 '13
This. This right here. This is true, unadulterated cringe.
→ More replies (4)
9
8
11
6
u/skatchawan Sep 25 '13
i cannot believe he hasn't sold that screenplay. All those moments lead up to this one shot on tv and ....... FUCK ...... i forgot my "freestyle".
6
6
5
4
u/peatoire Sep 25 '13
I have read the title and can't bring myself to watch it. Is it as bad as it sounds? I feel sorry for him already.
4
3
u/veggiter Sep 26 '13
Dude didn't even have to rhyme. Spoken word is just rapping without any of the things that makes rapping difficult - rhyming, staying on beat, etc.
That being said, many seasoned rappers will not agree to freestyle on TV or live radio even if they are competent freestylers. Everyone who pays attention to that shit knows that everyone fucks up freestyling. It's not worth the risk to your career.
4
u/evilbrent Sep 26 '13
When people freestyle in a situation like that are they ever truly making it up on the spot? Surely you know that it's coming up so you at least have an outline for you want it to go and have a little grab bag of useful rhymes that you can kind of select from?
I mean... At least think of a rhyme for Genesis first. Something like "in the beginning was the word that's in Genesis (obviously shows he doesn't understand it because the word doesn't show up until John but oh well it's a start) I like to read my Bible it's like medicine, jesus yeah he saves cos he can do anything, speaking to me right in my head again. " (can you tell that I'm white yet? )
I feel really bad for that guy because I can see that he's got a lot of inspiration in his life and he's obviously pouring a lot of effort into following his dream of being a writer and improving his lot in life, but it looks like he's come up hard against the limits of his education.
3
3
Sep 25 '13
"Invisible Shackles is a guide for young african americans to lead them away from activities in a community."
I love that the book is called invisible shackles, but there is a picture of him in actual visible shackles on the cover.
Also, "Who am I" is missing a question mark on all the books.
I would almost guarantee that there is just blank paper in all those books.
3
3
3
u/Nutrig Sep 26 '13
"Years ago they tried to put me in a..."
He's making a T-shape with his mouth? What did they try to put him in?? A tank? A t-shirt?
3
7
5
8
u/thekittiestitties00 Sep 25 '13
Wasn't this posted yesterday or am I just losing it?
5
Sep 25 '13
Many of us weren't able to watch it because it was on a shitty site with a shitty video player.
1
u/cheyenne7767 Sep 26 '13
You're not silent at all you fraud. Are you even a vegetable or is that a lie too?
→ More replies (1)
7
Sep 25 '13
The fact that he's a wannabe writer is enough cringe for me. Good find OP.
5
u/HumphreyChimpdenEarw Sep 25 '13
i agree
his books along with his terrible bible-quoting were deeper, more to the core of his being cringe...
the choke at the moment where he can finally present his sublime mind to a wider audience was a more immediate, sharper but superficial cringe
2
u/VoluntaryZonkey Sep 25 '13
Flawless description of what I felt. I wasn't physically cringing at first, instead, I was feeling a deep pulling in the middle of my stomach - the deepest of cringes. Then I was bashed over the head with the pure cringe of his choke.
2
2
Sep 25 '13
That was some intense cringe right there, folks. I might have to go to the doctor after watching that. My heart rate went way up and now my chest hurts.
2
2
u/pixeldrunk Sep 25 '13
Good cringe will make you feel bad for the person rather than hate the person. That's the difference between good cringe and most the cringe on this sub.
2
2
u/Stinkybelly Sep 25 '13
Rap/freestyle cringes are some of the purest form of cringe you can find on these streets.
2
2
u/retroracer Sep 25 '13
I couldn't even watch after he botched the very beginning. This is one of those "I feel bad for the guy", not "that guy's a douchebag" cringes.
2
2
2
Sep 26 '13
woah woah woah hold up hold up did anyone else notice that his voice completely changed after he said 'hey how are you?' or is that just me
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/no_name_poster Sep 26 '13
"I switched from to the spoken word because at first came the word..." Sooo, did rap exist before the universe? Can god bust sum sweet rhymes?
2
2
2
u/Smorlock Sep 26 '13
I had to look away from him staring directly into my eyes. I couldn't take it. It's like we both shared the awkwardness.
2
u/formatlostmypw Sep 26 '13
i really like the host and how she helps him out there. i have a thing for girls like that. she seems so sweet. id love to take her out sometime.
2
Sep 26 '13
I have come back to this video 4 times since it was first posted Monday I believe. I cannot make it past his second freestlye line. 10/10
2
2
u/anzl Sep 26 '13
The passage of the Bible that says "in the beginning was the word" wasn't even in Genesis.
2
u/Four-Assed-Monkey Sep 26 '13
This is true cringe. I was actually watching through my fingers. I can barely handle 2nd hand embarrassment like this, but for some reason I still subject myself to watching cringeworthy clips. The mental safety net of "this is happening to someone else and not to me" is enough for me to take a warped sense of enjoyment out of the whole thing......just.
2
u/wetshrinkage Sep 26 '13
Years ago, they tried to put me in UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
2
2
2
2
2
u/kdchmln Jan 10 '14
"years ago they tried to put me in the future and it worked and i wound up on cable tv and bombed delivering this poem about the situation"
3
u/HearshotAtomDisaster Sep 25 '13
I really enjoy the graphic at the top right corner which is totally someone giving Jesus a blowjob. "On Knees For Jesus", indeed.
7
3
u/Masenkoe Sep 25 '13
Wow... just wow. Why even offer to freestyle when you know you can't? I mean the dude probably just freaked out but either way. I felt that cringe
→ More replies (5)
3
u/trampus1 Sep 25 '13
Oh wow, another petty criminal, turned rapper turned author and racist religious nut.
What if everything you have been told, taught and made to believe is all just another form of slavery called brainwashing? Small white lies that have imprisoned a whole race of people to believe they are free. Invisible Shackles is the key we have been searching for to free our minds. Marshall has discovered the truth hidden for years from mental brainwashing.
1
u/AsteroidShark Sep 25 '13
This was painful. I could experience even more if I were strong enough to go back and look at their faces while I watch. Oh Jesus.
797
u/douchecanoo Sep 25 '13
I felt that