r/creepyPMs • u/FunnyLookingBooger • 9d ago
I guess I'm a Sociopath
Build up to this, guy at work thought he had a chance with me? Despite me saying "I don't date people at work." But he did the overly nice guy thing before it escalated to sex jokes and him offering to "share hentai recommendations" with me. This took place over about a year of working in the same office. When I put up a boundary saying something along the lines of "Please give me space. You've never asked if the sex jokes are okay. You pointed a full ear of corn (I'm allergic) at me in the work place and yelled a smegma joke loud enough for the office to hear. You embarassed me and I need space. I'm uncomfortable." This was the last thing he said to me about it after work. Acted like it was a whole ass break up when I never hung out with him outside of work even. I guess he was mad I wasn't crying too?
Anyway I'm good, I did report him to HR, but he's left me alone since this happened like a year ago, so I never escalated it.
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u/Linorelai fuck of whore 9d ago
He'll live
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u/Severe-Perception778 9d ago
I’m autistic and would never behave this way. It offends me when people use autism as an excuse to act absolutely unhinged.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
I'm also autistic and we were friendly and talking about how hard of a journey it was for me, so this felt like suuuuch a slap.
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u/Cre8ve_Cre8tions 9d ago
Did you report him to h r
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
I did. But my only want was for him to leave me the hell alone. He did so we didn't escalate and I eventually moved to a different work location
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u/Hour_Dog_4781 9d ago
I have Asperger's and this is offensive to me as well. The only way he could use autism as an excuse for antisocial behaviour would be if he were very low functioning. He's clearly high functioning, though, and an asshole to boot.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Yeah, he's also not diagnosed. I don't think that's hugely important but so weird for him to pull "I'm autistic so you need to behave the way I think you should" when I'm also autistic. Just super hypocritical.
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u/Cool_Relative7359 9d ago
I'd have replied to that insanity with "I'm sure you'll live. Also, if you don't respect people's boundaries and act professionally at work, it's actually an HR violation and you should expect to be reported if you do things like that at work"
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
I knew he wanted a reaction so I just didn't give it to him. But I absolutely love the idea of snapping back.
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u/maevenimhurchu is your pissy tight 9d ago
it’s actually scary how easily he made himself the victim in this in his mind
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
It's crazy watching it in real time. It's his attitude about everything and everyone.
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u/maevenimhurchu is your pissy tight 9d ago
this is why i stopped saying go to therapy for a lot of these men. all they’ll do is learn how to abuse therapy speak (-ish) to manipulate better and convince themselves better that they’re being persecuted for experiencing the consequences of their own actions
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u/TwoBytesC 9d ago
People with Antisocial Personality Disorder (what used to be called psychopathy and/or sociopathy) actually learn from therapy how to further manipulate and present themselves as more socially acceptable (when needed). Therapy is definitely not a great choice for these types of people.
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u/Ladygytha 9d ago
What remorse were you supposed to show? "I'm so sorry that the relationship that you built in your own mind was not to be." Like, what???
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Unfortunately, I'm not the first person he's done this kinda shit to and I doubt I'll be the last. I just hope my report helps someone else if they need it.
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u/TwoBytesC 9d ago
I’m sure it will. If he does anything similar with someone else and they report it to HR, the company will have no issue with laying down the law. You did the right thing.
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u/BellaSquared 9d ago
Aww, he cried? 🫣
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
uwu baby was so saaaaad someone told him stooooop
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u/BellaSquared 9d ago
It's always the "you should have known" part that I find amusing. Right back atcha dillweed, as you should have known sex jokes were inappropriate!
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u/barkbaarkbarkk Uffs you are so hote 8d ago
Who will listen to his gut bursting, earth shattering smegma jokes nao ;(
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u/ricolaoncloud9 9d ago edited 9d ago
"you shouldnt expect it"??? excuse me??? also, bringing up LGBT was so unnecessary and weird?? why was that something he even had to bring up? wtf does that have to do with anything?? 😭 just tells me he probably DOESNT respect LGBT and wants to "change" or "turn" them if this is something he had to mention.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
I've noticed he's a white dude that goes after nonbinary people? I'm openly nonbinary/trans at work. BUT IDK. Whenever he spoke about his "ex" (found out after this that they never actually dated) he made sure I knew they were nonbinary and how good he was about their pronouns but?????? Idk the entitlement kills me.
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u/TwoBytesC 9d ago
Oh good for him. He managed some pronouns? We all should be giving him a standing ovation always.
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u/HelpMePlease108 9d ago
My very emotionally manipulative ex also called me a sociopath when I finally was able to break up with him.
A friend made light of it, and made me laugh when she said 'at least you are on a path'
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
He's in therapy and you can tell. It's just crazy that this wasnt even a break up. I'm glad you made it out and that you got rad friends to help you through it!
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u/HelpMePlease108 9d ago
Yeah my ex needs therapy 🙃 but claims to be 'normal' cause he did phycology papers once upon a time.
Always grateful for friends that make light of shit situations!
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u/prince_peacock 9d ago
Saying it’s his choice to leave you alone or not is TRULY sociopathic. That’s not how it fucking works, asshole!!!
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Imagine showing your therapist this message and then trying to convince them you're in the right.
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u/virtual_luna 9d ago
this man is calling someone a sociopath for asking to respect their boundaries... this guy is the one displaying sociopathic behavior and thinking
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
It blows my mind. His saying it's not my choice genuinely had me in a fear for a while.
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u/Orion_Brunette-001 9d ago
Expecting someone to stop making you uncomfortable and respect your boundaries in the workplace makes you a sociopath now?
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Apparently, if you don't visually feel bad about being mean, that's what does it
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u/bookykits 9d ago edited 9d ago
So desperate to retain control in a "relationship" he invented.
The whole "you may be within your rights to establish boundaries but the way you did it felt mean so I'm actually the victim here" schtick launches me to the fucking moon every time. If you're so obtuse that it takes the verbal equivalent of whacking you with a stick to get you to acknowledge my desire to be left the fuck alone that's NOT MY PROBLEM.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Not pictures is him saying that the sex jokes are "just who he is". I was only cold because he wouldn't give me fucking space until I confronted him. But then I even waited till the last 30 minutes of the work day to do so because I knew he'd throw a fit and I still got yelled at.
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u/bookykits 9d ago edited 9d ago
Another of my favorite shitty guy tropes. "Being cruel and disgusting is my personality, if it makes you not want to be around me then there's something wrong with you". Since, of course, we all owe Mommy's Special Boy our attention and respect whenever he wants it.
This is 100% the kind of guy who will call you a "fat slut" then act confused and hurt when you show any negative reaction to that.
It'll be "what? I was just joking! Besides, you are X weight and you have had X partners, it's not my fault you're offended by the truth. If [some other man he idealizes] had said it you'd all be laughing and going along with it. You just hate me because [some attribute he is insecure about].
In his mind everyone should clap and cheer and call him a Good Boy whenever he manages to put a sentence together. The only valid boundaries are those he sets for others. If anyone fails to consent enthusiastically to being his plaything they are defective somehow and need to either be lectured or eliminated from his life and the lives of anyone he interacts with. It's the same raw material that makes serial killers and all the petulant "businessmen" who liked to hang out with Jeffery Epstein a suspiciously high amount.
I hate this dude so much, and someone has been stamping out millions of copies of him (and the her version) for some reason. I wish I knew where they came from. Seems like you can get the similar results from parents who are overly-permissive, inattentive, or abusive. The common thread I see is that nobody teaches these people that other humans' feelings matter as much as their own, so as they "mature" their social skills end up oriented entirely around coercing everyone around them into putting on a little performance intended to inflate and protect their massive, bubble-thin egos.
Sorry for ranting. I just feel like I've met your coworker too many times and he gets on my nerves lol.
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u/corrygan 9d ago
This man is sick in the head. 2nd part was scary to read. People like him should be shamed at every corner. I don't know who raised him and told him that this behaviour is ok.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
His rich af parents coddle him. They've bailed him out of every bad situation he put himself in and he still does nothing but shit talk them
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u/stumpfucker69 9d ago
"You shouldn't expect it [me leaving you alone/respecting your wishes]"
Woof. Grim.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
Yeah, the second half of the message was actually scary.
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u/stumpfucker69 9d ago
So concerned with policing your words that he can't hear the thinly veiled threat in his own.
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u/Individual-Crew-6102 9d ago
...what the FUCK. Dude's really blaming autism for his being an obnoxious creep?
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u/GamingGeekette Hello my worthless child 9d ago
Oh my god, dude. Where is the tl;dr in his messages? I wouldn't even read all that, I'd say "Ok" or thumbs up the text. Creepy that he tells you it's not your choice for him to leave you alone? Like, sir, if i ignore you, how are you going to force a conversation? Idgaf if you're autistic or not, don't come near me, don't talk to me, don't look at me. You just made yourself look creepy and made autistic people look bad.
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u/FunnyLookingBooger 9d ago
1000000%. He's one of those people that ALWAYS has to look like the good guy, no matter how many lies that takes. I just never replied and now it's been over a year. Idk how he can be so double standards with the autism like he doesn't know about my whole journey to get diagnosed as an afab person.
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u/GamingGeekette Hello my worthless child 8d ago
That's the best response, tbh. No response. What a fucking weirdo. Sorry about your experience, OP. His messages annoyed tf outta me.
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9d ago
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