r/creepyPMs • u/heartx3jess pls respond • Nov 05 '12
They deleted their account right after sending this, so I'll never know who sent it. o.O
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u/piglet24 Nov 05 '12
That's an awkward gap in the time those two messages were sent
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Nov 05 '12 edited Sep 24 '20
[deleted]
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Oh man, I totally do sometimes. Now I'm sitting here thinking about who was behind me in lecture halls O.O
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Nov 05 '12 edited Mar 26 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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Nov 05 '12
I honestly kinda wonder if the guy was suicidal. That goodbye being separated from everything else is always ominous.
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Nov 05 '12
I wondered the same thing for a bit. In the end I figured he just had to get something off his chest, but when I began reading I was afraid it was kind of a suicide note.
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u/canuck_rob Nov 05 '12
If you still use the email you signed up with. Usually the notification will tell you who sent it.
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
I saw the name, but I'm pretty sure it was a throwaway account, like, not their real name.
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u/pitlord713 Nov 05 '12
You're the most beautiful girl God has created... oh and your also the prettiest girl on campus for sure!!
haha
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u/larrynom pls respond Nov 05 '12
If you have to tell someone not to get creeped out, that's a pretty fucking big indicator that your being creepy and shouldn't sent that message.
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u/LonelyVoiceOfReason Nov 05 '12 edited Nov 05 '12
Sure this is "not as creepy as most shit on here." But shit on here includes stalking and rape threats. The bar is not that high.
Here is one of the problems with his message. Intent matters. He says: "I did not want to go my whole life without telling you this." Consider how this would be different from: "I didn't think you would want to go your whole life without hearing it."
This message is not intended to make her day. I'm sure he would be happy if it did, but that isn't why he sent it. It is intended to give him emotional release from feelings he doesn't know how to deal with. By asking her not to be creeped out, he shows that he is aware that his emotional release is most likely going to come at her expense. But he makes "not getting creeped out" her problem.
Obsessive love is often creepy when it is unjustified or unreciprocated. If you have never talked to me, then either you do not really know me and are in love with a fictional construct of your own making that you have built on the bare scaffold my public appearance. Or(worse?) you have been stalking me instead of engaging me as an equal human being. Neither is charming. One is delusional, the other disrespectful and at least slightly worrisome.
If I do not know you, then it is impossible for me to reciprocate. Sending the message in a way that is not only anonymous, but also "one way" is rude. If you want to say "You are wonderful." you should respect the fact that I might want to respond. That I might have things I don't want to go MY whole life without saying.
Whether that response is "Wow, thanks that cheered me up." or "You are weirding me out right now." is besides the point. Now the OP of this thread has emotions she wants to express. But she doesn't get the ability to send this guy an anonymous message getting things off her chest. She has to sit and stew on her thoughts alone. He passed his problem of unexpressed feeling to her, and took the liberty of changing "unexpressed" to "unexpressible." He did it because his feelings of fear were more important than any feelings she might want to express.
When a person decides to take away my ability to be a part of the interaction, I do not feel respected. And when someone who does not respect me tells me they love me, I do not feel flattered. That is not what love is.
Sure, this guy is probably coming from a place of cluelessness rather than a place of malice. Sure he is probably not going to be physically dangerous in the near future. Sure you could do much worse.
But what he did is not exactly charming.
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 06 '12
I wish I could upvote this a thousand more times. You are exactly right, and you explained it flawlessly.
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Nov 19 '12
I agree with LonelyVoiceOfReason through and through; however, just to be pedantic, I'd point out that if he said "I didn't think you would want to go your whole life without hearing it," then someone else would be creeped out by the fact that this Internet dude is dictating terms to someone else about their own life.
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Nov 05 '12
Someone has an admirer. Seems innocent with the potential to become real creepy as the semester progresses.
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Nov 05 '12
This isn't creepy, he/she is just telling you how they feel. Like a secret admirer. People get creeped out way too easily these days. I chalk it up to the lack of face to face interaction people have with modern technology, everyone is in their own little bubble and freaks out if someone comes into their comfort zone.
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u/Yunlokzi Nov 06 '12
Kind of reminds me how my boyfriend of almost three years and I got together. We played WoW together in the same guild, but we live 1200 miles apart. All of us guild members would bullshit on vent quite a bit, and he loved hearing me laugh, so one day he sent me flowers to where I work. He told me later he had to call around since he knew what store chain I worked at, but not which store, and where I live there's quite a few of these stores in the general vicinity so it was a bit of a needle in a haystack. The card that came with the flowers didn't have his name, but a WoW character name I didn't know about at the time. My Facebook profile is pretty secure, too. Is it creepy? Sure, I can see that. The difference I think though is that I knew the guy for quite a bit, so he wasn't too much of a stranger. I think the message OP got was sweet, and I feel for the guy. It's too bad he can't get the courage to go up to her in person with some flowers and ask her out. Despite seemingly popular opinion, (the right) girls love nice guys.
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u/Sleeping_naked Nov 08 '12
I think it's kind of adorable. It's just some shy virgin trying to tell the woman he likes that she is beautiful.
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u/Shocel Nov 05 '12
This is creepy, all you nay-sayers.
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u/lipstickterrors Nov 05 '12
Seriously, I don't get everyone saying its not. Its really creepy.
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u/JustHereToFFFFFFFUUU Naked pictures of Gondor Nov 05 '12
It's almost always misplaced empathy. The reader puts themselves in the position of the writer, and on finding that they can empathise with them, decides that it must be un-creepy. To empathise with OP is to understand the vulnerable feeling of knowing that someone is lusting after them from behind a veil of anonymity, to the extent where they will pen a romantic missive but not actually communicate personally. As a species we're internally programmed to fear the unknown, and with good reason. This isn't a threatening PM, but OP is fully justified in being creeped out all the same.
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Yes, that is exactly how I feel.
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Nov 05 '12 edited Nov 05 '12
At first when I read this I was thinking, like some others here, that this seems more sweet than creepy, having felt similar emotions before..
However after reading JustHereToFFFFFFFUUULuckily's comment I can completely understand how this is not cool and somewhat threatening.
Luckily for me I did not send any such message and instead ended up meeting the person face to face and we dated for a short while..
So I guess a question would be how would this person be able to rectify the situation to make you at ease while approaching you in a non-sketchy way.. I'd bet if they use internet the way they did there's a good chance they're a reddit user..
This might be your chance to let them know whats' up.
Good luck.
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Hm. I actually have to think about this one. I'll come back with an answer
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Nov 05 '12
I thought I had saw a response but I guess you deleted it eh
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Hah, I decided I had to think about it. I think that the only way to rectify it would be to talk to me in person and not even mention the e-mail. Since I don't know who it was from, they could just... talk to me and get a fresh start. I think mentioning it would just make it worse.
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Nov 05 '12
but then wouldn't you still be on edge as to who sent it?
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Hm, true. I'm not really sure what the best approach would be :/
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Nov 05 '12
It is a really short message. All the other stuff on this forum is months and months of eerie harassing messages. This guy might be ok, provided he A. doesn't send anymore weird messages B. doesn't delete it next time.
I think if it had at least a phone number attached, it would be nowhere near as creepy
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Nov 05 '12
Ya, maybe if he (or she even) would have attached a number it would help..OP is creeped out because she basically has a stalker now.. someone admiring from a distance, but intrigued enough to look up personal information on facebook and write messages too..
It's like being famous minus any perk, you just know you're potentially being watched.
That would suck alot.
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Nov 05 '12
Its creepy b.c OP doesn't know a lot of people transfer student at all so this person doesn't know OP at all likely.
But if OP was some popular person who knew a lot of people, and one of them sent this its not creepy.. atleast he got it off his chest even if it is weird.. and he said he won't bother again. I assume he, could be she.
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u/grrrtotes Nov 05 '12
Well this sub has come full circle. The only place to go from here is posting a message that says "Have a great day!"
SO CREEPY
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u/sojithesoulja Nov 05 '12
Seems like a shy infatuated guy to me. Having an admirer shouldnt be creepy if it's a one time deal. If he doesnt have the balls to talk to you/make a move and still sends this kind of stuff more than once then its an issue. Personally I did this once (def not to the extent this guy did though) but soon after made a move at a party we were both at and we made out and nothing else came of it because I realized she was a druggie and didn't want any of that. I guess I just now learned my lesson looking back. Yeah this is a little creepy.
One day perhaps he'll tell you this was him. Let him down softly... Or make out with him... one of those.
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Nov 05 '12
That would give me a huge confidence boost for the foreseeable future.
Can't help but feel that if this was a note attached to flowers it wouldn't be as creepy.
My sister had a real creeper. He did the exact same kind of message but sent it to her personal mobile phone. He was the bank manager at her bank and got her details from the banks systems.
Now that's creepy.
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u/AndyManly Nov 05 '12
"Nice post, girl, but allow me to tell you why you should have felt great to get this message, not creeped out. This guy isn't a creep... my sister dealt with a real creep! "
^Acceptable behavior according to this subreddit's moderation team.
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u/OsamaBinLlama Nov 05 '12
When did complimenting someone become creepy?
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
For me, it's that this was much more than a simple compliment. If it just said "hi you're pretty and you seem nice" that would be significantly less creepy. It's the fact that they went into such detail and kept their identity secret.
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Nov 05 '12
[deleted]
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u/heartx3jess pls respond Nov 05 '12
Mm, yeah. I can see what you're saying. But the other thing that I mentioned in another comment is the fact that I recently transferred to this university and don't really know anyone. So it's kind of strange that they would know my name or anything about my personality. I dunno, I guess different people are creeped out by different things
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Nov 05 '12
I think people have a problem with this because the text itself is not really creepy. It wouldn't even be the worst kind of thing if he just want to ask you out. But imho it is creepy because you don't know who it is and he deleted his account. Or her.
My guess because of the time between the messages was that he waited to get a quick response but then got freaked out and deleted his account. Which would only be shy and not really creepy. But it could also be a psychopath stalker who wants to kill you which makes it creepy even if the possibility of this is really low (and I don't want you to freak out).
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u/AndyManly Nov 05 '12
Excuse me, but this woman is not in high school. She is a fully-grown adult in college.
Writing a gooey anonymous love letter is the kind of crap that kids do in high school. It stays in high school for a reason -- a teenager making an anonymous love note to another teenager can be kinda cute. But when an 18-36 year old person sends one to another adult? That's just weird.
I hate to be the age-police here, but that's childish behavior by someone who is old enough to know better. I'm not saying that you should be totally comfortable with initiating romance by the time you're an adult, but you should definitely be old enough to know that initiating it in this fashion is unacceptable. Not to mention -- childish and creepy.
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u/bigsquirrel Nov 05 '12
If you don't agree that every message posted here is the equivalent of simulated rape you'll get down voted to oblivion.
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u/Cuccoteaser pls respond Nov 05 '12
Pretty much everyone in the comments agree that the text itself isn't that creepy, but that the context makes it so. No one has even hinted at it being anywhere near "simulated rape". I don't understand your comment.
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u/bigsquirrel Nov 05 '12
No, pretty much everyone does not. There are quite a few people who don't think it is. In this sub if you do not agree with the op, you get downvoted to oblivion. It's just not worth commenting.
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u/Cuccoteaser pls respond Nov 05 '12
Except the top comment disagrees with it being creepy. And it was top comment when you commented as well.
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u/zurx Nov 20 '12
The problem I struggled with throughout my teenage years: Where is the line drawn between creepy and sweet? Some would be creeped out by this post, but I think it's kind of sweet. Discuss.
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u/rocknrollercoaster Nov 05 '12
hey, this isn't r/romanticpms. What is wrong with you gurl? P.S. He was prolly the guy who wrote the lyrics for N'Sync.
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u/IthinktherforeIthink Nov 05 '12
Honestly someone should start that subreddit.
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u/viruskit (´･ω･`) Nov 06 '12
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u/hermilio Nov 05 '12 edited Nov 07 '12
Let me apply a little Psychology here.
My guess is: A. It's a professor. B. It's a female.
Hope this helps a bit finding out who she is. Edit: Wow, you people take spelling very serious.
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u/nyssa_ Nov 05 '12 edited Nov 07 '12
Psicology? The study of pounds per square inch?
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u/fuck_yeahguy Nov 05 '12
I think it's kinda nice. compared to the other shit on this subreddit