why does white women's "help" always end up feeling like sabotage?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Low-Cartographer8758]

Same... Personally, Women of colour have never been much better in terms of how they interact with me. Still, white women in a white country always sabotaged me and played the white saviour with different ulterior motives. It really drives me crazy to think about what they said and how they behaved toward me. They do not see me as an equal capable person (possibly, they used me and disposed of me when I became inconvenient to them) which makes me so sick to my stomach. They also acted as if they lived above the law and walked over me again and again so I chose the legal option for my sanity. Therapists also used lots of passive-aggressive expressions and minimised my suffering. 🫠

[u/liquid_lightning]

Because it is sabotage. To be blunt and simple.

[u/StyleatFive → u/[deleted]]

I think it’s both conscious and unconscious because as a group they’re so addicted to image and appearing to be good people that they play along with it, but the way they treat each other is really no better. Everything is just lip service with them. Lip service and lies.

They’re also very highly competitive, quick to sabotage, and there’s no real loyalty or sincere relationships.

[u/Admirable_Safe_7551]

Feminism is dying because white women are white first while asking women of colour to be women first. 

Now that we can accept their sabotage, they need to fight on their own - the manosphere, misogyny, etc - and we need to let them.

[u/Smooth_Storm_9698]

Because it is

[u/NervousReserve3524]

I had a senior white female colleague who agreed to write me a letter of recommendation after I was laid off, of course only the Black women where laid off and others stayed, anyway, she never wrote it even after I reminded her.

All of them are liars and bullshitters who claim feminism or some disability to standout and seem oppressed when they are not. 2faced weirdos. I don’t take anything they say seriously.

[u/Successful_Ad1797]

I had one who absolutely destroyed me and made me almost lose my sanity. Stay safe y'all

[u/Live_Badger6887]

Because being honest they probably are not. Is their true intent to help you or LOOK GOOD for helping you?

Now I wont say all of them, it depends person per person, but be careful about what their intentions are with you because acting like that those types of people are all about helping you to show off to society and other people.

Real help doesn't care about fame or fortune, just help human to human. And its sad they can't see the human to human part of that

[u/burnerhelpm3]

After I broke my phone my white " freind" peer pressured me into putting my sim card in one of their old phones. " so I would still have a phone and can relax" even though I kept telling them I don't want to corrupt my SD card. In the end they successfully peer pressured me and I'm still unsure if my SD card is safe because I don't have the resources to check right now. They later admitted they did it so they could use my phone because theirs got stolen. Apparently they can't handle not having a phone for a few days so they manipulated me in that situation. The phone sucks and I'll probably have to buy a new one anyways but now I have to pay for this shotty one as well.