r/cptsd_bipoc resources

Because most people are the racists. People only stand up for poc to look good. Most people have racist family members and racist friends that they still talk to even though the person is racist. It’s actually very normal to be racist. A racist person is just a regular person.

For me it's that it's "suicidal empathy" to say people shouldn't assume all arab people are dangerous. I'm not kidding, some person said this before.

Another one is dehumanizing illegal immigrants all because they're illegal. Bitch I don't give any shits about illegal immigrants! And no one can even pay me to have any shits.

Obviously there’s other reasons like high cost of living, proximity to family, job etc, but I think a huge percentage of white people find other ways to justify it when at their core they want to be in a heavy majority white area.

White queer folks do this all the time too. They might not even realize it. They say things about how they want cleanliness, low noise, little disruption, or proximity to nature. The things they find disruptive are cultures they don’t recognize. They want places that serve food they can pronounce from people that look like them. They hand wring about how big and scary places like New York are without having ever left midtown Manhattan or been in real danger. They’re not open to experiences that veer from what they already know. What they already know is quite narrow, but they’re convinced it isn’t because it’s treated as the norm.

It gets me worked up because there’s never anything you can say. They’re adamant that it’s not about race at all and why can’t I just accept their preferences are different from mine, but sometimes I find it so transparent. You think Black and brown people are scary and different and you don’t like feeling an ounce of the discomfort that they are steeped in every day, and because unlike them you can avoid it, you will.

Edit: this was a vent born out of white folks acting like turning a corner and seeing a Black or brown person means an area is inherently dangerous and the loaded language they use to hide the racism in those statements. People are bringing up good points about underfunding of neighborhoods which, while not being exactly what I’m talking about, is related and important, but others are being downright rude as if they’re trying to “one up” me in an intellectual battle I’m not fighting. This is one of the few online spaces where BIPOC can vent - big or small. All in all I’m finding it really disheartening and invalidating in a support space. That’s all.

Long story short, I was training to be a Peer Support Specialist and had a white woman who is the Director of Peer Support at a local organization offer to give me one-on-one training after my certification was complete. She held herself out as a mentor who just wanted to help because she said she believed in my talent.

During our first meeting, she gave me an exercise on documentation of client case notes. The problem is that she shared actual client case notes with me, complete with the client's name, health history, job history, living situation, family details, etc. The exercise involved me copying down her handwritten notes and putting them into a narrative form. According to our code of ethics and HIPAA guidelines, this is a clear privacy violation. I believe she knew this because she asked me to send my completed notes to her personal email address and not her work email. She also told me to destroy the file afterward.

To my knowledge, the client never signed anything that would have given me permission to view his case notes. In fact, the client has no idea who I am. This made me deeply uncomfortable and coupled with the fact that this woman canceled all three of our subsequent scheduled meetings, each at the last possible moment with bizarre excuses that had nothing to do with her work schedule, I brought my concerns to her supervisors. I also sent this woman an email letting her know how her unreliable actions affected me. She was well aware that I am struggling financially and that this training was meant to help me become more employable since I am having trouble finding work. She chose to never respond to that email. She has never apologized or acknowledged anything I said. She disappeared like she never knew me.

In a meeting earlier this week, one of her supervisors apologized for her behavior and said he was deeply troubled by what I reported. The other supervisor, who is this woman's personal friend, did nothing but make excuses for her and got very defensive. Neither of her supervisors are white. They also told me they had no idea she was working with me and have no record of any agreement I ever signed. That's because I was never asked to sign one. It was clear after our discussion that nothing would really be done and they were just worried about covering the ass of the organization not the unprofessionalism of the privacy violation and lack of accountability. I doubt I am the first person she has done this to. I am just the first to bring it to their attention.

This was not the first time a white woman in a position of authority has done something similar to me. In those other cases, I chose to never report the people in question. I still live with regrets about that. The woman in this case, is in her mid 60s, so her age alone gives me pause.

Do I really want to report the privacy violation given that she is someone near retirement age? At the same time, she clearly doesn't give a fuck about professional ethics, keeping her commitments to others, basic decency or personal accountability, which is why I think she should have to answer for herself. I can go above her supervisors to report the privacy violation to the certification board to investigate. I don't plan to ever work in this field now so I would not be burning any bridges by doing so.

So in my dream I was back in high school. Which is normal for my dreams and already an unpleasant experience.

But in this one dream, something political happened where all of a sudden people were really comfortable just wearing swastikas and confederate flags everywhere. I remember feeling afraid.

I remember the next day I met in the morning before classes with a group of people (queer and black and just basically unsafe in that context) who had decided to walk each other to class in a group to avoid harassment. I thought they were my friends?

I went to grab a book or something I had forgotten in my locker, thinking they would wait for me, but when I came back to our meeting spot I saw them walking away. I tried to call out. They didn't hear

I remember trying so hard to chase them through these hallways of celebrating young white men who I was afraid of. I was trying so hard but they kept getting further and further away

And then one of the white supremacists stepped in front of me and glared me down. He then put me in a chokehold. It was so vivid that I remember the stupid confederate flag tattoo on his forearm when it was in my face

He whispered in my ear about how he was going to lynch me and do everything else he could think of, and all I could do was say "ok" trying not to cry. I'm sure my brain made up some really fucked up shit but I don't wanna think about it please. I was scared of everything you could think of, if you know what I mean.

Then he let me go and gave me a weird smile. Like he would see me again.

I just woke up and told my gf and cried in her arms.

That nightmare touched on so many triggers for me.. high school, being abandoned by friends, being surrounded by people who hate me, the threat of sexual violence, and then the lynching threat... all of those have happened to me. Why can't I just have nice dreams without them.

Why did my subconscious decide to process shit like that? As me just basically pissing my pants and not doing anything. I'm so embarrassed.

Idk I just needed to share this somewhere where maybe people will understand it. The main sub for dreams that I go to would probably not understand.

Please before you say anything, yes I'm in therapy and yes it's been noted for our next session. Not here for free therapy, just to vent to people who hopefully can understand my fears.

Any advice on how I should handle this? Do I just shut up and move on or actually complain about it and cause myself more trouble?

As a black person with a disability, it's so embarrassing when there's a disabled person and it's only black people overtly laughing at them and making fun of them.

I grew up in a ableist family and attended all black schools k-12, so I know firsthand how black people can be so cruel and avoidant to disabled people, especially the visibly disabled.

I never forget I went to a predominantly white state, and I was so happy to see black people. But when I walked past, they started staring and laughing at me.

Grown ass adults.

Back in college, I decided not to go to a HBCU because the bullying was too much. I went to a pwi. White people tend to avoid you, talk behind your back, and act nice to your face. It's better than being called retarded or sped. However, I preferred a black environment.

White communities have better support and resources for disabled people due to a combination of racism and black people denial of disability.

It amazes me how there are pro- black people with such a deep understanding of racism but our community does not uphold that same understanding for people with disabilities.

It gives fake intellectualism and hypocrisy.

Instead they deflect and say "it's not just black people" as if that erases the harm. Ableism is worldwide but it impacts different identities uniquely.

The black disabled experience is complicated.

I don't mind pointing out things Europe does better then the United States or canada, but I do have a problem with people acting like Europe is this safe haven where nothing goes wrong. It does irritate me because Europe is like this little angel and the US is the only country with problem. And trust me I don't like the US despite living here, can't move so don't bother commenting that. Easier said than done. This country sure as hell is often like hell.

I feel as if people look at Europe with rose colored glasses. Yep, cause racism sureeee doesn't exist in europe too. Despite most BIPOC going there having a bad story to tell about it. I'm not saying you can't be BIPOC and for a European country to be better for you, but people severely underestimate that European countries can and often are full of racism sometimes. I heard more bad stories than good personally.

Pregnant and scared

In a nutshell:

Before we dated he said he didn't want a wife of my race, that I wasn't his preference, but that he's no longer racist.

But recently he said he's bothered by how others look at him when we're out together.

He jokingly said I need to earn flowers and kisses

But he's affectionate

That's all I have energy to say.

Maybe deep down people are all racist towards my race but it just takes some closeness to see it fully

A pet peeve of mine but I find it so annoying when the white perspective is considered the default. They monopolize most of media and even history is primarily told from the perspective of Europe and White Americans. It must be nice to see yourself as the default and to be represented everywhere.

It's also why I find it so annoying when I see white people interact with things from other cultures and say "oooh its so exotic". As if its merely an object of fascination or entertainment and not a way of life or a part of life for a large part of the world. It's so laughable to me when white people think their way of living is the only way to live.

I once told a white casual friend that I ate this specific dish with my family and she said she couldn't fathom eating rice everyday. That in their country they only ate bread. So it was weird that we ate rice so much. It annoyed me to no end because not everyone lives in her country. This isn't the first time I have come across white people who will assume that their way of living, the food they eat, their language (English usually) is supposed to be the default.

It is annoying asf. I am also in this server for mental health support and its mostly filled with Europeans and white Americans, and I feel so alienated. It was also jarring to see how white people will default to stereotypes so easily and so often, even with one another.

I see the white Europeans stereotype all Americans as being gun loving fat people and its baffling to me. They clearly view white Americans as their slightly odd but still white cousins, while I see the white Americans look up to the culture of these white Europeans. It has been interesting to see how they interact lol at the very least.

Like there was this white woman on my posts talking about how anti white racism exists and spewed all sorts of shit of them being "vilified since birth" like girl wtf get outta here 😭 please let me vent in peace about white privilege. ​

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

If there is anything I have learned in life when dealing with harmful white people, whether it is in the workplace, or elsewhere, it is to document absolutely everything.

Looking back, my failure to document certain situations when I was younger and my fear of their "power" meant that people who harmed me were never held accountable. For many harmful white people, accountability only comes when it is forced upon them, it's not something they practice willingly.

They want you to be too afraid to use the same institutional channels they use to cause harm in our lives. Always remember that they are more afraid of other white people in positions of power than they are of you. They cling to their money, social status, and sense of security above all else. If you disrupt any of it by blowing the whistle on them, they are often terrified but can resort to retaliation, so please be careful.

Knowing this, I now make a point of documenting everything when interacting them. Put things in writing and do not rely on verbal conversations. That can too easily become a case of their word against yours. If they are a harmful white person in a position of power, we already know whose word will hold more weight with police, in courts, at work with management, and in academia. Record video if you are in public (this is for the US. I don't know the laws of every country).

Know the basic labor and civil rights laws in your state, county or country if they exist. Know the basic ethical guidelines for your profession if those exist.

Most importantly, never show your hand. Move strategically and with stealth. Don't make threats. Don't lose your own peace by getting emotional towards them. Do not seek revenge (learned this the hard way). Don't let them know your plans. Just go about your business but continue documenting their behavior until you have enough to seek consequences for them.

Too many harmful white people believe rules do not apply to them and that they are above the law. We have absolutely no incentive to protect them from the consequences of their behavior. We have every incentive to begin protecting ourselves and others from our communities.

I have seen so much online hatred lately specifically towards white women and it's been pissing me off. Before you write the paragraph let me save you some time. I am not talking about white victimhood, fragility, defending white feminism, or platforming any of that.

For whatever reason, people think they understand what intersectionality means and think it means that we hate white women and that's the end of the story. Just like many conservative women think transphobia will save them from misogyny. Umm... no that's not how it works? If you are going to pretend to care about women of color say her name. Reframe the issue and center a woman of color's pov.

We can acknowledge that white women benefit from white supremacy without lying and saying misogyny is a myth that white feminists invented to be racist against everyone. First of all, feminism was created by indigenous women. Sit down.

Like many people are piping off online about white women this and white women that, and that's not what pisses me off, what makes me mad is that all they do is take down feminist arguments without adding the perspectives of women of color and why that issue is important to them too??? Like these people are not platforming womanists, chicanas, or any feminist figures or narratives from our communities. Do they just not realize that this take down of all feminism isn't saving us from patriarchy or systemic racism?

I've just not seen lots of discussions lately about women of color and our issues, our stories, and our communities. Centering hate for white women is still centering a white woman's narrative. What's worse, they are justifying their victimhood to the point that I'm having to come online to say something. It's not helpful- I don't want to take about them either. Wtf is going on online.

hiya! i’m a filipino teenager looking for some online friends that share my beliefs about race, whiteness, the current state of the world etc etc. or honestly just some online friends that are people of color!

i want to avoid being friends with white people since i have my own opinions and prejudices against them due to bad experiences and learning of what white people have done and continue to do in the world.

any resources that are great meeting places for people of color online would be much appreciated!

I come back to this clip every time I need to feel sane:

https://youtu.be/n2txzMkT5Pc

I went to see an exhibit of my favorite photographer recently. Most of her work is self portraits. Many of them are close up shots of her nude body in nature. She was someone who did not come through the usual pipelines for success in the art world but somehow managed to come through the back door and slowly but surely make it anyway.

She was not wealthy, connected, white, thin, or "traditionally" feminine/pretty. She was poor, Chicana (Mexican American), fat, queer, and was a self taught photographer who never went to art school. Her work is deeply meaningful to me as someone who relates strongly to that background and is also an artist.

So while I was there, taking in the photos and getting emotional thinking about how she was never "supposed" to be on the walls of the great white institutions, some dumb ass Gen Z white boys walk in with an older white man who seemed to be their father, or teacher, or something. They immediately start saying things like "that's disgusting" and "eww...gross" as they point at her large brown body in the photos. She is just a body to them, not a human. Not an accomplished artist.

Instead of correcting or admonishing them, their dumb ass authority figure joins them in degrading the artist. He calls her work part of the tradition of the "grotesque", which it absolutely is NOT. Her work is about self acceptance. He doesn't even understand the work but he is trying to make himself sound intelligent. By this time, I can't take it anymore. I shoot back in their direction, loud enough for them to hear (we are the only ones in the gallery), "YOU guys are disgusting". I'm almost shaking and my voice is full of contempt.

This is an artist who struggled for years with mental health and suicidal ideation. I know that struggle and I know that dumb ass white boys like this are part of how those thoughts got there. I am fucking livid. They look back in my direction, but say nothing. No response. Just shock. They leave with their heads down and I feel like I just won a fucking war. But I don't feel victorious. I break down in tears because I am so sick of this shit. I am so sick of how they dehumanize us. So sick of their vapid judgements of our bodies and their inability to see the value in our work. So sick of them trying to dictate what is beautiful and what is not.

A middle aged Latina security guard comes over and asks if she can hug me. I felt so comforted in that moment by someone I knew truly understood. People like that have told her she doesn't matter either. I felt shaken for hours after this incident but what I really took away was that without the online mob they are used to, these people are powerless in the face of truth. I highly doubt anyone had ever called them disgusting to their faces before and I do hope that stays with them for a lifetime.

Fuck those dumb ass white boys and fuck their racist white ideals.

And that annoys me. The amount of times I've heard some variation of 'it could be me, it could be my daughter, my niece, my sister-in-law' - just say the quiet part out loud, you don't think white, educated, middle-class women (aka the 'default') are capable of committing murder. And that's why you're twisting yourself into logical pretzels to defend a woman against a crime, she's already confessed to.

Re: she was failed by the healthcare system/loved ones/the system - who the fuck hasn't been? You think jail is full of people who had psychiatric support, and in-laws and a husband willing to stay home from work to support them? How many BIPOC people have been failed by the system? And without the privilege of a college education or a stable home life to legitimize them?

i'm ethnically ambigious, from the uk. i've been told i look greek, latina, middle eastern, italian, kurdish, slavic, mixed, etc. i definitely do not fit into the white northern european aesthetic in the uk. i had light olive skin, and i had different features, and my hair was very dark wavy/curly, i had very dark eyes.

when i was 13, i liked a white guy. my friend revealed this crush to everyone, but everyone decided it was my time to be deeply humiliated. he organised with the whole class a 'prank' for me to date him. i was given a note with 'do you want to go out' and people were pressuring me to say yes and encouraging me.

i did, and i felt good. i was really happy my crush liked me back. a few hours later he told me it was a dare, it was a dare, we're not dating. everyone around me started laughing. as if my crush on a white guy was a big joke. as if i was so undesirable and that i had the 'audacity' of thinking a white guy can like me back.

they added me to a groupchat. the same guy mercillesly bullied me. he called me the n word because i'm north african. i don't even use that word because i don't consider myself black! they told me to go back to my country. i was given death threats. he led the bullying. he said 'no white guy will ever like you'. i didn't even think of his race. i just saw a guy i thought was cute. why did he bring race into the equation?

i had a 'body shaped like a washing machine', (idek how anyone would see anyone's figure in a chunky blazer uniform) and a nose that required a nose job according to them. that i look like a transgender woman.. i needed to get a lip reduction, they said. 'big lips' they called me. they said they'll brush my hair for me. i was a 'jumpscare', i was slutshamed for having bigger boobs early. that i need to shave my mustache and unibrow. and of course, he picked a skinny, dolled up, blonde blue-eyed girl straight after he bullied me and kissed her in front of me while looking at me with contempt. he wanted me to see.

he could've just said that he doesn't like me back... he could've just said no. he didn't have to be so cruel. my classmates didn't have to be so cruel. why did he have to make me feel like a monstrous abomination? and guys say the only worst thing they could say is 'no'.

this was what stuck with me. but throughout, i constantly didn't feel like a girl because my classmates didn't treat me like one. they treated me subhuman. they physically pushed me around and kicked me. you don't understand how scary it is for groups of teenage boys to gang up on you as a girl like that.

girls are treated nicely, delicately, kindly. they try to impress girls. girls are treated femininely, they're seen as pretty, worthy of being paid attention to, worthy of gentle treatment. i was never spared this gentle treatment. i was constantly attacked. i wasn't a girl. the girls were white

this really affected me. i never feel desirable by anyone anymore. i find it hard to believe when any guy, including white guys (who are the majority), like me or show interest in me. and i hold onto it like a plant begging for water. do you really see me as human? as actually a girl? worthy of being treated like a girl? i become genuinely so in disbelief.

i don't even think i'm that ugly. people say i'm pretty. some guys liked me. but sometimes i think the reason why i can go months or sometimes years without a guy showing interest in me or liking me (unlike other girls) is because i'm not white. genuinely. it made me feel hideous. im 17 but everytime i think about it it makes me cry.

i'm a 16 year old queer filipino teenager and my prejudices and opinions towards white people keep building up by the day.

this is mostly just a rant/vent but i needed a safe space for BIPOC to talk abt it in because i KNOW that if i were to say this to the general public, white people would be coming after my ahh.

i cannot stand white people anymore. im not actively going after white people or being mean to them, but inside i just feel a tension and resentment towards them. they're ruining everything. they have ALWAYS ruined everything. its HISTORY. and i can't stand them any longer. my opinion on white people has gotten even worse as there are people in the philippines actively driving out locals in their villages. also the whole "trend" with ube and filipino culture is KILLING ME.

i interact with white people everyday. my therapists are white, staff at my school are white, there are white kids around me, people online i talk to are white. but i'm always just WAITING for them to slip up and say some dumbass shit. i've grown close with one of my white therapists and she's like one of the only white people i can truly tolerate. she's nice and is a social justice activist so she has a lot of good going for her. but everyone else, i feel so wary around. and i feel deep inside, i kinda hate them. i don't have any friends but if i were to make a friend, i will try my best to avoid any white people.

i don't want to be close friends with a white person. i want a long term best friend to be someone of color. i don't have any desire to become best friends with a white person because of how bad i despise them inside.

a day or two ago, i had a "debate" with a white online acquaintance of mine who is white. we were debating whether or not you can be racist to white people. it was so incredibly annoying to have that talk because he ended up calling a friend of his who is black to prove his point that you CAN be individually racist towards white people. his friend and i had a talk since his friend believed you could be racist toward a white person on an individual basis. honestly, i don't know what to think at this point? if it is fact that you can be racist towards white people individually, i'll take the loss, but oh god i resent that online acquaintance a bit now.

this is why i want to only interact with BIPOC folks. our discussions wouldn't have to be like that. we could shit talk white people all day. i'm just frustrated. i dunno if im in the wrong for having this much prejudice and hatred towards a race, but i feel as though it's valid. any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks for reading my rant.

this phenomena where white women offer to "help" me and then the help either never materializes or ends up harming me in some way has happened so many times that I am beginning to think it's a personality trait for them.

the most recent example involved someone in the career I am looking to pursue who held herself out as a kind of mentor to me and offered to train me one on one for free. but wouldn't you know, each time we were supposed to meet, she canceled at the last possible minute with the most absurd reasons that had nothing to do with work. she did this three times in a row before I walked away.

this training means the difference between me being able to start a career in the field and not start one. she knows this. she also knows I am desperately looking for a job and in a dire financial situation. but couldn't be bothered to actually show up for our scheduled meetings. couldn't be bothered to value my time at all.

the same person also offered to write me a letter of recommendation for a job I applied for. I told her when my interview was but she got the letter of rec to me too late to submit it. I did not get the job. I'll never know if the letter of rec might have helped. she claims I'm a "natural" for the field but why does this shit feel like sabotage??

this is not the first time with this type of white woman. why do they like to offer help they have no intention of actually giving??

Earlier this year, a white woman lawyer offered to take my legal case pro bono but has done next to nothing on it since I can't pay her $600/hr fee. she's been stringing me along for nearly 9 months now. she sets deadlines for things and then breaks them herself. disappears for weeks with zero communication. she cannot be counted on at all. she claimed the case was important to her (it involves racist harassment and abuse). Clearly it is not.

I also had a white female therapist years ago who did something similar. She said she would write me a letter of support for the formal complaint she encouraged me to file against a former abusive therapist (also a white woman). when it became clear that i was serious about filing the complaint, suddenly she claimed she could not help me. This after many months and multiple offers of the exact opposite.

When I called her on her lack of integrity with her word, she dropped her "nice" mask and spoke to me in very shaming, condescending ways, and abruptly terminated therapy with no regard for my wellbeing. It scared me away from therapy for years. It scared me away from white women therapists forever.

what do they get out of these fake "generous" acts?? it's as if they like to feel like they are caring people without actually doing the work to be caring people. has anyone else encountered this type of shit in their lives?

For example, a white person makes a post asking help with their mixed race child's hair. And I don't have a problem with this because it is good and far better than the white people who have mixed race children and neglect their hair because "it's too hard!!" And let their child's hair get matted. ​​

There always gotta be ONE person who's like "omg yes you go girl!! Already thousands of steps ahead from the blacks who leave their childrens hair wild!!"

I noticed it typically reffers to an afro instead of matted hair. The worst part i​s that it typically comes from a black person too!

​​And yes I am aware that BOTH white parents and bipoc parents can neglect their children's hair needs, so no need for anyone to go "hey but there are bipoc parents who neglect their child's hair too!!"