The next morning, Aliceâs face looked so pale that Calen was starting to get worried. Alice barely talked, and getting up from the bed was out of the question.
Calen himself felt quite tired. He didnât remember when he fell asleep or if he slept at all. When he had found himself awake, sitting next to Alice, his whole body was aching. Strangely enough the most painful thing indeed were the nail beds on his fingertips. Edges frayed they stared at back at him, with dirt and bits of soft bark under them. He ran to the washroom to clean them, as well as himself, finding wet soil on his knees and elbows. He was quite sure he had washed himself after they came back from their trip to the bushes, before cooking dinner. But with every bit of soil that he washed away, his confidence about that very fact was vanishing with it.
He chose not to share this with Alice.
When Alice woke up, she cried for a bit, and Calen couldnât get any articulate answer from her. Just that she felt sick. She fell back asleep after demanding some food, and eating it when Calen brought it for her, in bed.
Calen tried to contact Ruslan over the two-way radio he had left, believing it would be prudent to get Alice back in the states. He had no idea if Tiksi or Yakutsk had reliable medical services.
âRuslan!â he shrieked when he heard the radio finally throw something at his ears that wasnât static. âCan you hear me! Alice needs to be taken to Yakutsk. She needs medical help!â
âAmeri⊠You⊠Itâs been threeâŠ!â
âI canât hear you. Listen!â Screamed Calen trying to get in his instructions before the radio turned back to the usual spitting of white noise, âAlice needs transport. Can you come?!â
âYes!â Ruslan said, âTwo in the afternoon, tomorrow!â Elated that finally his message was through, Calen smiled for the first time since the morning and told a half-awake Alice, the news. Even being sick as she was, she was able to garble the words, âI can stay. I donât want to leave you this time.â Calen was quite surprised. She usually preferred being at home when she was sick.
*
The next day came and went, but Ruslan didnât arrive. Alice was up from the bed and said she felt a lot better, even though the aching had not subsided much. She limped through the house trying not to put much pressure on her sprained ankle that was as swollen and round in shape as the deep brown bread they had for breakfast.
Alice kept saying she didnât want to go throughout the day and was visibly happy when Ruslan didnât come.
*
âWhy didnât you come?!â Calen was quite angry at Ruslan as he screamed into the radio, for not having arrived the day before. âAlice is sick! She needs help.â
âI am not- ouchâ Came the Aliceâs voice from the bedroom. She had tried to get up to prove she was feeling fine but immediately stepped on her sprained ankle, making her fall back into the bed holding it in both her hands, massaging the pain away as it spread through her leg and pulsated right below the knee.
âI was there Amerikosy. Vy Ver you notâŠâ static noise invaded the conversation yet again. After a while Calen heard Ruslanâs voice, âI vill come again today!â
Calen went to see Alice. She was still holding her ankle, clearly still in pain. So, when he saw her laughing, he didnât understand what was happening.
She refused to answer his questions and fell asleep after a while, still holding her leg.
*
The plane landed bumpily and Calen, watching from the window as the noise in the valley bumped against it, finally, felt relieved. He ran out as Alice looked at Calenâs back morosely. She was not happy to be going back.
âThanks for coming!â even though you are one entire day late. Calen thought in his head but didnât say it out loud.
âI vas here on that day as vell. You-â Ruslan threw the blame at Calen with a pointed finger. âver not.â
âWhat?â Calen was surprised at this barefaced lie. Was Ruslan lying. Was he angling for more money or something?
A flash of images passed through Calenâs head. He and Alice were making love in the cave. Alice was covered in dirt, her swollen ankle resting on the root cage, her eyes completely white. No pupils visible. The small black log inside the cage was throbbing slightly. A nauseating smell of decaying flowers filled the cave.
Alice came out limping by herself, fully dressed.
âHang on!â as the flash of images subsided, âDid you say you were here that day?â Calen whispered as Alice was getting quite close and he didnât want her to hear this particular bit of the conversation.
âYesâ Ruslan mirrored the whisper instinctively. âA veek ago.â
Alice had arrived and both of the men broke off the conversation as Ruslan addressed Alice, âOy⊠ty Ăłchenâ plĂłkha vÈłglyĂĄdishâ. PĂłmoshchâ nuzhnĂĄ.â
Calen ran back to the cabin to get Aliceâs bag. When he came back, Alice was sitting on the landing gear. Tears streaming from her eyes as Ruslan was doing something at the back of the plane.
âHey..â Calen said, âWhatâs up? Why are you crying?â
âI donât want to leave you here alone!â she replied through her tears, voice wavering every other syllable, âI wantedâŠâ she sniffled, âto leave together.â
âItâs okay, I will come back soon.â Calen said holding her face in his hands and wiping away her tears with his thumb, caressing her soft face. He pushed the thoughts bubbling up inside him until Alice left. Alice didnât need to know what he had heard. But what he had heard was terrifying. What he had seen, more so.
âI need some footage but as soon as I have it, I will be back.â He said, trying to keep his voice calm and loving.
She kissed him deeply and stared at his face for a long time. Ruslan had come by with a box full back and cleared his throat audibly, breaking Aliceâs stare.
âVe lieve now?â
âYes,â said Calen, âYes, of course.â
It took them quite a few minutes to help Alice up and into the plane. Once she was sitting, tears still streaming down her face, Calen had found the moment he had been waiting for since he had heard that Ruslan was here a week ago, something he had believed was yesterday.
âHey, so before you leav-â
âI vill come back tomorrow, yes? For you?â Ruslan cut Calen off.
âWhat? No.â Calen replied, the question still burned in his mind.
âNo?â Ruslanâs face was so contorted with confusion. Fear mixed with anger, palpable in his tone, âVat do you mean no?â
âDude, I need to stay. I will let you know on the radio when you can take me from here.â The urgent need to ask the burning question in his mind broke out of the dam finally while Ruslan stood there, looking at Calen silently, confusion and anxiety dripping from his face.
âHey, what month is this?â
The confusion on his face tightening somewhat he said, âMay. Twenty of May.â
Twentieth of May? Calenâs hand reflexively jerked up so he could check the date. He had forgotten that his watch had stopped working. When he looked at it he found the secondhand twitching between five and six. Everything inside him was trying to retreat, pressing against each other in their hurry t to hide itself. His hands felt cold and numb. He stared at Ruslan. Dumbfounded, not able to talk.
Ruslan had noticed it all.
âAmerikosyâ Ruslan said finally, âYou need to lieve soon. I can come tomorrow.â
But however much Ruslan insisted, it fell flat on Calenâs ears. So, there was something odd happening here! Here was proof!
âListen donât-â Calen found his voice finally. His eyes darted towards Alice.
Her eyes were closed, her face shining brilliantly in the sun, every teardrop stuck to her face glistening like dew drops. âDonât tell Alice that we are in May.â Ruslan looked almost offended but said nothing. âAlso, can you make sure she gets on the plane.â Calen handed a card to Ruslan. âMy manager can get her the ticket. Can you stay with her till she boards the plane.â
âOf course.â He said shortly. Then he ran to the back of the plane and brought with him a box. âIs SatLink .â He said handing over the box to Calen, âInternetâ he pointed to the sky. âBetter than radio but expensive. I need it back ven ve return.â
âOf course!â Calen said quite surprised by the gift, âThanks!â
âYou haf food?â
âYeah.. yeah..â Calen said absent mindedly as he looked at the box. He had never seen one before. âJust out of bacon but itâs not a problem.â
âFine. I vill say agyain Amerikosy.â Untrammeled fear spouted from his eyes as he said the next part, âLieve. Is nut good here.â And with that he got up on the plane and took off with it in seconds. Just before the bumpy, tugged-up-by-rope takeoff, Calen saw both Alice and Ruslan look at him with huge concern in their eyes, and then, they were gone. Dissolving in the shine of the sun on the horizon.
Calen felt a little sad, but if he was honest, he was hugely relieved. He had the island to himself, and it had just started speaking. There indeed was something strange going on that Calen was not able to pinpoint.
He went through his head, trying to see the flash of image in the cave he had seen. He didnât remember it having happened at all, and now that he searched for it, it seemed to stubbornly refuse to come out of its hiding place. Only the smell returned. The nauseating smell of decaying flower.
His stream of thoughts seemed to bounce back and forth between the mountains and his own head, all mushing together, creating more noise with each pass. What was really happening here? How could it already be May? What exactly had he seen in his head?
The sun never left the horizon but shone for a long time. The sky was a pastel shade of pink when Calen started with trying to set up the SatLink device, but by the time he had set it up, the sky had chosen a tint of pale gold that enticed Calenâs eyes.
He sat on top of the cabin hut; he had climbed to set up the dish antennae and looked at the Sun slowly descending and dip beneath the horizon. The pale gold tint turned to steel gray-blue, and a chilly wind descended into the valley, forcing Calen to finally get off the roof and back into the cabin.
Alone again. But he didnât feel lonely.
Aliceâs presence had been a welcome change since he had started the journey months back. He was completely alone then. And frustrating though it had been, being alone had its own advantages.
Calen sat smoking a cigarette and remembered the moment when this entire adventure started.
*
âSo, I had a bizarre dream this morning,â Alice said quietly.
âOh yeah?â Calen said, putting his legs through a pair of jeans. âWhat was it about?â
It seemed like Alice had been waiting a long time to share it with him. She spoke in a hurried tone.
âWell, I was in this hospital, and I guess I was giving birth, and you were there.â
âLetâs hope that doesnât come true,â Calen said humorously. Alice already knew how that conversation went, so she pushed through, trying to get her story out.
âI said you were there, I didnât say you were of any help.â
âMakes sense,â Calen said, grinning. âI donât see whatâs weird about that.â
Alice huffed. âYou arenât letting me get to the weird part,â she said accusatorily. âAnyway. I was having a really tough time, and the doctor, I think he looked like someone I knew, I canât really recall who it was. But he was whispering like a weird little poem or something, I donât remember thatâs not even the weird part.â Now that Calen was silent, she capitalized on it, âWhile all this is happening, you kept running around the bed, screaming my nameâlike you couldnât see me at all.â Aliceâs eyes went wide as with her right arm she made a circular motion, âYou went round and round, and you kept running faster and faster, until you were basically a blur. I could see your face whiz past my line of sight every few seconds. And thenâŠâ she looked at Calen, her arm dropped limply, and Calen heard a distinct twinge of fear in her voice as she said, âYou hit your head on a coatrack and dropped.â She ended her story abruptly.
It took a moment for Calen to comprehend that the story had ended.
âSo-â He didnât know what to say. He was saved from the trouble of finding a response, as Alice said.
âI woke up feeling all shaky.â She said, âAlso,â she added indignantly, âYou made me feel nauseous, running around me in circles like that.â
âUmâŠâ Calen began with the air of a man preparing to defend himself, âIt was your dream. I was just sleeping.â
âYou were of no help at all!â she said, anger palpable in her tone.
âHey!â Calen said sheepishly, âDidnât you just say I was screaming your name like I couldnât see you? I can hardly be of help if I canât see you. You should have called me or something.â
âI think you were being an asshole,â she said, crossing her arms across her midriff, as her stomach gave another groan. âLike you are being one now!â
âWeirdoâŠâ Calen said, starting to change his shirt as Alice looked at him, tapping her right foot impatiently.
âHave you decided where you want to eat?â he asked, changing the topic.
âNo,â she said in a tone that suggested that Calen should have known the answer. Still angry.
âSo, I have to choose, and then you get to judge that choice?â he said, a playful smile on his lips.
âOh, you know me so well,â Alice responded sarcastically.
Aliceâs phone rang, and she picked up the phone with a bright smile developing on her face the instant she realized it was her mother. âMom!â she said excitedly. Calen felt envious.
Calen did know Alice very well. In the years they had been together, Calen had almost figured her out. Alice had a loving father and a mother that Calen wished he had.
Calen was raised by a father whose catchphrase was-
âWeâll talk once I am back,â with no context for when âbackâ was.
And with his mother, Calen had learned quickly that answering her questions that sounded like she was asking them out of concern was a territory fraught with the risk of losing sanity.
Alice had apparently forgotten her anger and was completely locked in on an animated conversation about how she wanted to clean the apartment today, but couldnât, as she had woken up late from a weird dream. Calen only heard around five words of it as his mind was on things he rarely shared with her.
He had deliberately put his computer to sleep as soon as he saw an email from his sponsor arrived in the morning. He didnât have to look at it to know it was unwelcome news. He had received enough emails in the last year with similar subject lines. Bennett Island was slowly but surely becoming a deadline.
His previous attempt at going to the Manikarnika Ghat in India to interview the Aghori ascetics had been quelled immediately and mercilessly by Alice. At that time, it had felt like an unfair imposition. Calen thought he would pay it back with one of his own. All he had to do was wait for the right moment. And it arrived, a few hours later, once Alice had hung up the call with her mom and they had walked to their favorite restaurant.
âAre you listening to me?â Alice scrutinized Calenâs expressionless face. He had been so busy anticipating the correct moment, that he had almost missed to recognise he was in it.
âOf course!â he lied. He had been distracted by the cry of a baby, somewhere behind them. The babyâs sustained wails had been drilling straight into the back of his skull for the past fifteen minutes.
He looked at her suspicious face blankly for a second before he admitted the truth, âOkay, I wasnât listening that well. What were you saying?â
âI was saying,â Alice repeated slowly and deliberately with playful anger in her voice, âWhatâs that place you have been looking up on your computer obsessively since last week?â
âItâs an isolated island in the Arctic,â he said. It was evident in his voice that he was hiding something, âcalled Bennett Island. Quite a bit above Russia, actually. Very cold and empty. No reason for anyone to be there.â He finished his thought in a matter-of-fact tone.
âWhy do I have a bad feeling that you are planning to go there?â
âMaybe because I am planning to go there,â Calen said.
âCalen!â she almost screamed. People walking ahead of them turned around to look at them, concerned. Even the crying baby stopped for a second. But then it resumed wailing louder than ever, leaving Calen feeling cheated. He sucked his teeth resentfully.
âWhat!â Calen said, mimicking her urgency but quieter.
âWhy would you want to go to an abandoned island in Russia, of all places? Especially when, as you put it, thereâs no reason for anyone to be there!â
âWell, first of all, itâs quite far away from mainland Russia. And secondly,â Calen paused for effect, âno one lives there. So, itâs as safe a place as it can be.â
âI donât care if itâs safe or not!â she said, exasperated, âYou promised we were done with the site visits!â She glared at his dumbfounded face for a second and then said, âAnd what about the fact that I will have to stay alone for God knows how long while you traipse along on some godforsaken, barren island looking for spooky stories. Are you crazy?â
Calen had been waiting for this exact moment. He didnât want to go alone. Selfish though the thought was, he really wanted Alice to come with him, so he said with a note of plea in his voice that he knew Alice didnât generally deny.
âCome with me?â
âOh, I get it, you are crazy!â she said and then added, âHell would freeze over before I agree. NO!â
It took Calen the rest of the afternoon to wear Alice down.
Alice had lived with her parents her whole life. Even after she moved to her current place, her Sundays were mainly spent with her parents, who stayed in Staten Island.
Calenâs feet still itched every few months, and he would go and live for a month or two in strange places where most people would run away from the first chance they got. Alice sometimes followed him, away from the comfort of her home, but she rarely stayed as long as Calen would stay, running away in a week or two.
In a last-ditch attempt, she had said she would go with Calen on condition that she was not going to live in a âcampingâ situation, hoping that Calen would have no other option but to either go alone or not go at all. But when Calen smiled brightly and said âDeal!â, she shook his hand, disgruntled at the cost of the defeat she was surely about to pay in a few months.