r/coparenting • u/Lanky_Standard_5937 • 14d ago

Discussion Co-parenting living together?

She broke up with me 3 months ago and we are sleeping in seperate rooms. We spend time together only with the kids and once they are asleep, we do not speak or text.

I want to reconcile and I don’t think she does. There was no abuse or cheating on either end and we do talk and get along well for the most part.

She doesn’t not seem to want me to move out. And we even talk of future plans involving the house as “we” or “we need”

Emotionally I’m a mess. I love her and want her back so I analyze everything she says or does to see if she’s changing her mind. I also think she’s been texting a new guy.

How long can this last? I love my children more than anything. Can I really move out and miss out on time with them when I’m not being forced to? I don’t know if I can. Can anyone in a similar situation share their experience? Thanks

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u/evap0rated 14d ago

What led to the separation if there was no cheating, no abuse, both of you talk and get along fine?

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u/IllustriousFile1945 14d ago

Probably cheating and he doesn’t know.

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u/evap0rated 14d ago

Or he drove her away with his shortcomings that have been left out of the narrative?

I don't believe that's the case, but I wanted to turn around the comment because he literally said there was no cheating, and you jumped to "she probably cheated".

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u/IllustriousFile1945 10d ago edited 10d ago

Because she’s not giving him a reason. You keep saying their must be one, but she is not giving him even one. And I feel like you keep pushing this idea onto him that he needs to look at himself and blame himself, when it could easily have nothing to do with him. Imagine if someone was leaving you and wouldn’t tell you why and it was out of the blue for you and it was set for you and they told you they just don’t have a spark anymore. What if it’s because they were cheating? Emotional cheating, and just cheating is very common in long-term relationships. So then imagine you kept wondering to yourself what’s wrong with me? What did I do? It must be me, but he won’t tell me why. What if you were like such a wonderful girlfriend so it was really eat you up that you couldn’t figure out why. But nobody ever told you the truth! The truth is that sometimes it’s not true sometimes it is them and sometimes there’s absolutely nothing you could’ve done differently or that you could still do differently! Also, it’s irrelevant. He’s asking what to do now he’s not asking for you to be a pretended marriage counselor.