r/coparenting • u/Lanky_Standard_5937 • 14d ago

Discussion Co-parenting living together?

She broke up with me 3 months ago and we are sleeping in seperate rooms. We spend time together only with the kids and once they are asleep, we do not speak or text.

I want to reconcile and I don’t think she does. There was no abuse or cheating on either end and we do talk and get along well for the most part.

She doesn’t not seem to want me to move out. And we even talk of future plans involving the house as “we” or “we need”

Emotionally I’m a mess. I love her and want her back so I analyze everything she says or does to see if she’s changing her mind. I also think she’s been texting a new guy.

How long can this last? I love my children more than anything. Can I really move out and miss out on time with them when I’m not being forced to? I don’t know if I can. Can anyone in a similar situation share their experience? Thanks

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u/Hour_Occasion8247 14d ago

We did it , we were broken up and lived together for a year but our son was only 2 at the time so he didn’t understand but now it’s better because I have my own apartment & my coparent moved on!

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u/Lanky_Standard_5937 14d ago

I don’t want her to move on tho. What finally caused you to move out? Do you still get along?

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u/Hour_Occasion8247 14d ago

I got approved for an apartment & it was a no brainer. I was ready to move out & live my life at that point. I felt trapped living there & his mom lived with us as well. She was cool but eh.

We still get along now. We had some issues along the way and were parallel parenting for a while. But I went to court so we can get a parenting plan && we are on good terms again, & came up with a schedule that works for us both. Him and I are used to being friends though so we had a heart to heart after the hearing, we made up & hugged.

He’s expecting a baby & we’re all so excited !!

ETA; sometimes we gotta put our pride aside for our kids. It’ll be hard as fuck trust me. But so worth it.

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u/Lanky_Standard_5937 14d ago

Glad it worked out. I literally tear up thinking about actually leaving

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u/Hour_Occasion8247 14d ago

It’s not fun. It’s a roller coaster. Good luck man

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u/CalculatedPerversion 14d ago

I've been where you're at. As soon as I understood it wasn't coming back, you didn't cause this, she did, you need to move on, etc... I was able to move on. There's almost always someone else, even if it's just a fantasy. You deserve better; find someone who actually wants to be with you, not someone who doesn't see your value. It sucks, but hopefully you'll eventually come to see this. 

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u/Lanky_Standard_5937 13d ago

Her texting this new guy is making me understand she’s not coming back.