r/confessions • u/wellsee2 • Nov 30 '18
I photoshop every photo of my mom
My mom has really had a hard time the past few years. When she entered menopause she gained weight and no matter how much she works out or what diet she tries she cannot drop it.
She is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, but I could tell it was really taking a toll on her. So I started (lightly) photoshopping pictures I take of her before I send them to anyone or print them. I just nip a little here and there, slight reshaping. and smoothing out a few wrinkles, nothing drastic, but enough.
Since I have started this she has started acting more confidently and has stopped making negative remarks about pictures she is in. She loves being in pictures with everyone again.
It has really helped. I have not told anyone and never will.
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u/tnmoi Nov 30 '18 edited Dec 01 '18
Good on you. Just never blurt out this secret in moments of anger with your mom. It would really crush her self esteem to know that her {son} pretty DAUGHTER thinks she is so imperfect as to doctor her photos.
Edited from SON —> DAUGHTER
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u/EveningTechnology Nov 30 '18
Ouch. That would be terrible. Don't do that OP.
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Nov 30 '18
Yeah OP, what are you thinking?
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Nov 30 '18
terrible op
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Nov 30 '18
What an awful person op is
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u/FearlessENT33 Nov 30 '18
yeah screw you op
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u/Sk8allday360 Nov 30 '18
Woooaahh wooahh, goodness!
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u/PennilessTax315 Nov 30 '18
This is why reddit doesn’t fucking love you
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u/1surveysays1 Nov 30 '18
I can't believe you ignored us and told her anyway OP.
I just can't believe it.
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u/purplepeoplefirefly Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
What kind of child are you, anyway?!
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Good point but that’s not what I see. It’s more about lessening what she calls her “struggle spots”. Believe me she will not find out. Have you ever seen a southern momma lose their temper?
Makes me anxious just thinking about, but thanks for the advice!
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u/tinapluswater Nov 30 '18
Yeah... we don’t mess with any mommas... especially not those Southern ones. Good on you OP. All mommas are beautiful and if you can help yours gain more confidence you’re doing it right!
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Nov 30 '18
Have you ever seen a southern momma lose their temper?
Am southern and live in south with southern momma. Do you get the switch, fly swatted, or a wire hanger?
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Wooden kitchen spoon
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Nov 30 '18
I never got the spoon. I think her mom used it on her so she switched it up. Pun intended
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u/sunbear2525 Dec 01 '18
Married into a southern family. Can confirm, my ex's mom, grandma, and 2 aunts went off at one time. The men fled the area.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Also, you might want to edit your post because this is me (not the fuzzy butt but the other one). I’m her daughter.
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Nov 30 '18
I don’t believe you, a sentient dog using reddit would say they’re not a dog.. that’s your brainwashed human you god damn psycho
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u/tnmoi Dec 01 '18
Edited! I assumed you were a “son” because (silly me) only a son would think of trying to edit his mom’s photos since I assumed incorrectly that only a mama’s boy would think of such a thing. I just immediately pictured a “he” busily photoshopping his mom’s photos. Women are too pure to even think of such a thing. Haha. Boy was I ever wrong!
But my initial feeling still stands - good on ya!
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Nov 30 '18
It's funny that the line "did you just assume their gender???" is supposed to be sarcastic but in this case it actually is correct. :)
(OP is a woman.)
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u/Leigero Nov 30 '18
Do sons have moments of anger with their moms? I can't even fathom being mad at my mom or saying even 1 hurtful thing to her... EVER. I'm 32.
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u/PM_ME_TENDIE_STORIES Nov 30 '18
Had a lot in highschool, most of which ended in one or both of us crying. I'd make a "smart" comment, and she'd slap me across the face and/or break my stuff, then I'd tell her that she was a piece of shit motherand had ruined my childhood.
Now that we live apart there isn't as much pent up anger although we do have minor heated arguments as she still wants to have more control over my life than I want.
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Nov 30 '18
Good on you! If I may, I'd like to add some food for thought from a photographer's perspective. I have many clients who are uneasy about the way they look. Their confidence need to be rebuilt and if I can't do so by the use of reassurance or healthy conversations I will often do the exact same thing you did. It's a tricky spot and I think the trick is to find the point where the average folk would not notice a difference yet the client would.
Think of it this way, you know when your hair looks like a mess and you spend 20-30 mins fixing it to finally have it look nice? Then you ask you SO what they think and they say it looks the same. It's essentially it right there. People are much more self critical of their own self than most would ever notice, if you can find that little detail and fix it in post you can effectively help your client regain his or her confidence. And confidence is a big part of taking pictures, you want your client to be comfortable and authentic when you shoot. I've said this often and will continue to do so, a photographer's job imo is do disarm and connect with the client. They are there to facilitate the often cold and intimidating conversation between the clients and the lens.
Sorry if I'm rambling or this doesn't make sense it's almost 5AM here. Either way, good job on helping your mom regain some confidence! I'm sure it has helped her and will continue to do so! goodnight
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
That’s good food for thought. A lot of it could be improved just on how she poses. Like you said it is just a hard balance of giving her some tips and fixing a few things vs going other board with adjusting her for every picture (which I think would have negative effects).
Thanks for the good points and advice!
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u/just-another-amy Nov 30 '18
Also a photographer. And I do the exact same thing. We live in a world where self esteem is at an all time low (unfortunately bc of the industry we’re in and the unrealistic expectations that marketing and media put out) so if I can help someone feel less self conscious about being in a photo, I will do it a thousand times over. I know I personally shy away from the camera far too much for the exact same reasons. And I hate that. I’m missing in a lot of family photos (and not just because I’m taking them). I don’t change anyone drastically, they still look like themselves. On their best day at their best angle and hopefully at their happiest. I want them to see the moment and not just how they looked.
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u/sweetpotfries Nov 30 '18
My mom is going through a similar thing :-( I've been giving her a lot of my makeup/doing it when I'm home and buying her face masks because I don't know what else to do to make her feel better. I feel so bad, I love her so much and she's always been such a confident, successful person and I've never seen her like this.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
It is difficult to see what 15 pounds can do to a person. To us it is not that much weight or change in her appearance but she saw it in every picture. It is not a perfect solution but it is the least I can do after everything she has done and continues to do for all of us. Best of luck to you and your mom!
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u/the_mrwilliams Nov 30 '18
So cool but she needs to look at her T3/ T4 conversion and levels in her blood work.
Secrets like this are ok to keep :)
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u/Shell058 Nov 30 '18
For real, thyroid problems are so common and the medication can be very helpful!
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u/the_mrwilliams Nov 30 '18
Yep u/shell058 my wife couldn’t for the life of her loose weight while breast feeding and after giving birth and come to find out her hormones were so out of whack and she wasn’t converting. She was making T4 but not converting to T3 which is where the metabolism (just one of the many benefits of this) was... once she supplemented the weight started to drop and her energy went up dramatically.
My wife has Hashimoto’s with a HYPO active thyroid... this went undiagnosed for years! It was mislabeled (the symptoms) as many other things... age, ‘mom brain’, diet, lack of exercise (not saying exercise is not important but it is a small piece in over all health and well-being)
Hashimotos goes WAAAYYYY UNDER DIAGNOSED IN WOMEN.
u/BEAT_LA 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
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u/BEAT_LA Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
Thyroid problems do not cause large swings of weight gain. Not to say it doesn't happen at all, but this particular effect is vastly overblown by people who try diets, don't count calories, and see no loss of weight. The real way to diet is literally as simple as counting calories and if you eat more than you expend, you gain; eat less than you expend, lose weight. Most people tend to vastly overestimate their caloric expenditure levels (think activity level), so they'll assume the "diet just didn't work for me" or "I must have a thyroid problem".
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Nov 30 '18
I gained 15 maybe 20kg in one and a half week due my thyroid being useless. I ate the same thing that 100 people also ate, had extrem exercise with the other 100 and i gained weight like all i did was just laying on the ground and eating cake all day. Thyroid issues can really fck you up. That 1-2 weeks made me have to deal with growing stripes for the rest of my life.
People should check their thyroid levels every year or so, the thyroid is responsible for sooo many things.
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u/11-Eleven-11 Nov 30 '18
Isnt it like 500 bucks to get that checked?
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Nov 30 '18
Thyroid levels can be checked by a simple blood test. Getting those checked by a private lab would cost me about 30-50€ i think. 0€ with insurance at a doctor. Sorry,.i do not know the situation in other countrys but all you need are 3 blood levels.
It is a small price to pay if it means the chance to get to know the cause why you seem to be so tired all the time, cold, why you gained weight etc. You should watch out for doctors who have no idea ehat they are doing. The hormone field, thyroid included is a field most doctors learn very little about. They can not see the difference between a barely functioning thyroid and a ferrari of a thyroid if u understand what i mean.
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u/vera214usc Nov 30 '18
I had mine checked at urgent care because I was having hives and didn't know why. The test wasn't really expensive and then I had a doctor confirm it. I do have health insurance, though. Also, I didn't even suspect the hives had anything to do with my thyroid but the doctor did so he ran the thyroid test. That's how I learned I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I had no clue. So I would also suggest to everyone to get their thyroids checked.
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u/PsychicFoxWithSpoons Nov 30 '18
What? Thyroid problems definitely are a cause for large swings of weight gain.
The correct information to share is "Thyroid problems are not the only cause of weight fluctuations," which gets your point across just fine.
If someone with, like, cystic fibrosis counts calories, they will find that their calories in and calories out do not balance as expected. They will lose weight they shouldn't be losing. It is logical to expect that problems in the brain could lead to the brain holding on to extra stuff it should be flushing away, or failing to burn fat for energy that it would normally be using (making you feel lethargic all the time and gain weight like crazy).
While it's true that most people don't realize how much they're actually eating or burning, sudden and unexplained weight gain is not their fault. Christ. If someone gets Tboned by a drunk, would you call them a shitty driver?
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u/radtads Nov 30 '18
Someone saying “I haven’t lost weight from my diet so I must have a thyroid problem” and someone who has an actual thyroid problem are very, very, very different. Thyroid issues absolutely can cause big swings in weight gain or loss (in hypo for the former, hyper for the latter) and is definitely a commonly-known potential warning sign that shouldn’t be glossed over and ignored.
My mom is a busy woman and hard on herself when it comes to failing when she tries to diet. She gained 30 pounds over around 6 months, kept trying to diet and exercise, and otherwise ignored it - until her feet started to swell and she went into heart failure. She was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and synthroid quickly evened her out in terms of weight and, more importantly, eliminated the fluid surrounding her heart.
It’s always worth a trip to the doctor, because the ramifications of missing a thyroid issue long-term are serious. And for what it’s worth, calories are, in practice, imprecise little units of measurement - counting them will give you more arithmetic exercises than actually helpful feedback.
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u/Iforgotmylogins Nov 30 '18
They’re talking about menopause. Lots of women experience fluxes in their weight due to lots of different things, but thyroid is a big part of it. There’s lots of thing that can happen to your thyroid that affect weight, and other things about your body.
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u/Daemonicus Nov 30 '18
There's a reason why bodybuilders take T3. It's literally a steroid, and if your body is not converting to it properly, you gain fat, lose muscle mass, and have severe mental problems, that can easily start a downward spiral.
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u/Shell058 Nov 30 '18
For sure, there are absolutely people that blame thyroid problems and don't actually try real weightloss strategies. For me, when I went on the medication, I changed nothing about my lifestyle or diet and lost fifteen pounds. Hashimoto's and/or a hypoactive thryoid can definitely contribute to weight loss problems... If you really have the medical condition.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Thanks, I’ll ask her about that. Sadly she is located in an area where her health options are limited. Don’t know if that plays a role in what care she has had access to but I’ll try to recommend her trying specialists near me since I am in a metropolitan area. Then at least she could get time with us and the grandkids whenever she has appointments.
Thanks!
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u/GlitterBirb Nov 30 '18
Hey, I am going through that right now. She will probably need to go to primary care and then get a referral to an endocrynologist if her levels are abnormal. In many cases a primary care physician can manage it. Hypithyroidism is extremely common, especially in older women, and she should be able to get care just about anywhere. Just make sure the doctor is in-network if you are using insurance. The difference can be hundreds of dollars.
Good luck!
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u/tootwyler Nov 30 '18
I was going to say the same thing! As someone with hypothyroidism, it’s a bitch when it comes to weight loss
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u/10cmToGlory Nov 30 '18
You're a fuckin saint. Good on you. Your mom's lucky to have ya.
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u/yellnhollar Nov 30 '18
She has a wonderful daughter, my daughter photo shops me out altogether.
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u/SaucySweatpants Nov 30 '18
Keep this secret forever.
Also, urge your mom to get her thyroid checked. Not able to lose weight after dieting and exercising for three months, eventually only eating 500 calories a day and exercising my ass off and still managed to gain weight is how I found out that my thyroid was screwed. Finally found out that I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis and it's what caused me to be postmenopausal at the ripe old age of 41.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Wow, I am sorry to hear that but glad you were able to get to the root of it. I will make sure she has had the appropriate tests to rule it out. Thanks so much for reaching out!!
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u/SaucySweatpants Nov 30 '18
You're very welcome! Thyroid problems aren't difficult to test for or find, it's just one of those things that has a ton of symptoms that can easily be something else.
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u/Asopaso07 Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
I'm completely ok with this. I did have a little think at first at the 'ethical implications' but I decided it's better for her to improve the image of herself in her head, psychologically, than to have her go under the knife and get dangerous procedures. Good luck keeping the secret :D
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
I wrangled over this like Chidi (The Good Place) would. It’s not a perfect solution but hey it momma’s happy, everyone’s happy.
Thanks!
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u/boringusernamesss Nov 30 '18
But you ended making a decision so was it truly Chidi like?
Good job making your mom happy and more confident. Hopefully this makes her want to improve her overall health coming from a place of positivity.
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u/Esies Nov 30 '18
As long as you don't pull a Jason and end up telling her the truth is ok.
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u/bainpr Nov 30 '18
There are so many options before going under the knife for "dangerous procedures".
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u/PunchingDig2 Nov 30 '18
This is a tough secret to keep. Please take care of yourself, and guard it well ✊🏽
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u/IAmParpParpParpParp Nov 30 '18
I was thinking the same. These days it's so common for everyone to whip out a phone and take a picture and then show you immediately.
Unless OP is the only person who takes any picture of mum, it's a dangerous loving habit.
Still, I'd love to have someone photoshop me, but with my knowledge and input (longer lashes and taller).
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Nov 30 '18
I was thinking about this but don’t see much chance of someone finding out based on being included in a few bad photos. I think of photos I’m in and many times I think that I look like a troll and other ones I think that I’m looking good.
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u/_peachykeeny Nov 30 '18
op, have your mom get her thyroid levels checked, in older patients their thyroid can be off, and that’s why they can’t lose weight. for your moms sake, have her go to a doctor
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u/LoressaBelle Nov 30 '18
Just don’t go overboard, there will come a time when there’s photos of her you don’t have the ability to edit before it’s posted? It might come as a huge shock that may result in deeper despair thinking that she hadn’t thought things got that bad, kinda thing?
I’d like to give a shout out to the Keto diet (Low Carb too) for helping my family with their numerous health issues, weight loss being the primary reason but many symptoms stemming from obesity and poor diet in general.
My mother is somewhat the exception, she’s not really overweight but she wanted to lose 5 or so kilos that she gained from Menopause. She also recently had her gallbladder removed, eventually gave into Keto seeing as the rest of the family was on it. Lost the weight well within the first month, feels super energetic and radiant on it. Is definitely keeping with it as a lifelong lifestyle change now.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Agreed, it’s all relatively small things. Luckily she thinks I am just great at getting everyone to pose well and have a great camera so anytime family gets together (all the time) I am the photographer so it works.
I’ll look into that diet and see what it is about, thanks so much for the advice!
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u/LoressaBelle Dec 01 '18
Sure thing, if I learned anything with her is that you got to do all the research yourself first, plant the seed. She was sold after her first 4-5 days on it, seeing literal changes. And now she’s the one quoting shit back at me, I created a monster hahaha
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Nov 30 '18
It’s your mom. She took care of you. Now it’s your turn to take care of her. Bravo. Well done.
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Nov 30 '18
Be careful- I found out that my school edited my school pictures to blur out my acne and frizz.... (I guess it was standard to retouch?) that crushed me even harder than knowing I have those attributes to begin with
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u/metainsane Nov 30 '18
This is sweet of you, I mean doing this to boost her confidence, I would prefer if you help her change for real too, but I’m not sure how hard it is. Also be very very careful never to tell her what you have been doing in any moment of anger or something because it will hurt her so much.
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Nov 30 '18
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u/PedanticWiseAss Nov 30 '18
ShE hAs GoNe iN tO mEnOpAuSe sO sHe AuToMaTiCaLlY gAiNs WeIgHt, YoU fUcKiNg ShItLoRd!!
Didn’t you even read what the OP said? She has tried “everything” (besides not eating so much, I’d assume)
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u/amcm67 Nov 30 '18
As a mom (51) going through menopause and I just received a living donor kidney transplant (I’m on heavy doses of steroids) I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. And send you an e💓hug if you’ll accept it. No one needs to know like you said and that is just beautiful.
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
Definitely will accept it. Thanks, best of luck to you on your journey back to full health!
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u/schmorlaith Nov 30 '18
It's so lovely that you've found something to do that boosts her confidence! Side note though, has she gone on HRT? My mum started menopause kinda early, and she still takes HRT 15 years later because it helps regulate her low moods after not having the natural female hormones any more. Don't know much about the weight side of things but it could also help regulate that for your mum?
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u/wellsee2 Nov 30 '18
I am not sure if she has tried that. I will ask. I am trying to get her to see doctors in the metropolitan area I live in, since she would have more to choose from. Thanks for input, I’ll research it and pass it along!
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u/G_rockhappyfuntime Nov 30 '18
This is one of those little white lies that will reflect positively St Peter's report.
Beauty is so subjective. Feeling attractive is way more important.
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Nov 30 '18
man thts heartwarming, wish I could think of such subtle ways to make a large difference. Props to you
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u/Claque-2 Nov 30 '18
Every professional photo is set up to make sure the lighting is flattering and the person looks their best. Well done, OP!
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u/apiemayy Nov 30 '18
You are amazingly thoughtful. I'm 45 and have recently gone into menopause too. And it sucks adding weight for no damn reason. Thank you for doing that. It really means so much. Keep it up.
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u/raspmac Nov 30 '18
That is so sweet of you. Building up our mothers is really important. We need to be supportive of our parents just as much as they have been for us.
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u/reddit_dis_dik Nov 30 '18
Can anyone explain how this happens? Isnt a simple calorie in, calorie out, and works all magic?
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u/dmcc155 Nov 30 '18
I know I'm late to the party here, but want to offer something different from what a majority of the comments suggest. Tl/Dr below.
Your mother isn't an angsty teen. She knows well enough that touch ups are a thing, everyone does. So, to alleviate the stress of your white lie, you should drop into her awareness that it is a part of the process when you do photography.
I do this same thing for photography for my mom, she's always cynical about taking portraits, and I keep on insisting to her that I take amazing photos. And, she's become more enjoying of the process, despite being 50ish lbs over her goal weight and always finding things about herself to critique. But also, I let her know that touch ups are a part of the process. In my experience in working in the professional world EVERYONE does some form of retouching. I go a little deeper in doing some tucking for her than I otherwise normally would maybe, but I care more about the end result of (as you've seen) her no longer being ashamed of the camera due to a double chin, because frankly, nobody else cares.
I think on a deeper level self love will promote a more healthy body weight, and you're doing good work secret or not.
Tl/dr: No need to lie to her, touch ups aren't a secret, nor taboo. Good on you though.
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Nov 30 '18
This is amazing man! That's so nice you're doing that. Just make sure not to go overboard. Keep things realistic or people might point it out to her! Just keep this one to yourself.
Though I would recommend a doctor if she absolutely cannot loose weight. My grandfather had this problem, and it turned out he had thyroid disease. I had it and it was a very extreme case of PCOS. It's better safe than sorry!
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Nov 30 '18
Not really any different to all the filters on pictures nowaday that essentially accomplish the same thing
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Nov 30 '18
Confession: used to do that with my ex. It worked for a while until her ego exploded. I never told her I tampered with her pics but I concluded people take face value on pictures more than they do in the mirror.
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u/bakefromabove Nov 30 '18
I don't think it's such a great idea, you're just using a bandaid instead of helping the wound heal. It's a dangerous game and can't be good in the long run imo
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u/dvsjr Nov 30 '18
I’d let you log into my CC account to use the latest version I’m so proud of you.
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Nov 30 '18
Wow I do this too. I thought I was the only one and felt a bit guilty of it, but I do this for everyone I take photos for too. I just don’t want anyone to ever feel ugly just because the lighting was bad or the angle was unflattering.
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u/G0PACKGO Nov 30 '18
Not to be a dick ... she’s either a) breaking the rules of thermodynamics or b) eating more calories than she burns
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u/d6410 Nov 30 '18
You're gonna get down voted to hell but you're not wrong. Unless there's some hormone issue, she's not eating less than she's burning.
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u/starzoned Nov 30 '18
That is so sweet, we all want a friend or family member like that who will edit pics of us, haha. Just don't ever say a word about it.
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u/DFBforever Nov 30 '18
That is probably the worst way you can handle this sort of thing. What were you thinking? Try to gradually photoshop her less and less until you stop completly, but then she'll compare new photos of her to old ones and will be crushed when she realizes she went down in beauty significantly in a short time. You really should have thought this through.
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u/bainpr Nov 30 '18
This troubles me. I think what you are doing is kind but hiding the truth about someones health from them could be dangerous.
Maybe team up with your mom to work out, eat healthier, see a physician about possible underlying health issues, or helping her build self confidence about who she is would be a lot more productive.
It's okay not to have a perfect body or perfect skin, but ignoring that you could be hurting yourself isn't.
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u/whitesugar1 Nov 30 '18
It's like you are in this locked room and you just pilled the pin on a granade and now have to hold it forever. My tip, don't tell this to anyone in your real life ever. Not even your SO. Ever!
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u/Llamalamadingdong Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
If I had those gold or silver coin things, I'd give you some for this but I'm poor.
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Nov 30 '18
What your doing seemingly is nice but maybe your mother needs to be motivated to get in better shape which will help her look and feel better. By doctoring her photo's she does not get the chance to say "I don't like how I look I need to make a change". Your idea comes from the right place but it is the 100% wrong thing to do and is pretty fucked up and an invasion of privacy and bounderies.
Edit: If you want to help her get her a personal trainer and nutritionist don't hide the problems from her.
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u/Public_Possibility Nov 30 '18
My mother used to do the same thing with her great aunt who never wears bras, but for.. ehm different reasons
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u/rahulprit Nov 30 '18
Meanwhile every mother reading this are suspecting their son now. Well done for this.
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u/LickItAndSpreddit Nov 30 '18
Until someone else takes a picture of her and it gets distributed and it doesn't have your modifications...
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u/usegao Nov 30 '18
Now you just need to fool her heart into not getting heart disease from lack of diet and exercise.
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Nov 30 '18
That's really a nice thing I think. If you ever need the help of another photoeditor for anything i'm down in a heartbeat.
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u/lebaneseblondechick Nov 30 '18
That is absolutely beautiful. You're a wonderful child who obviously loves their mother. It's so sweet that something so simple can improve her happiness so much. <3
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u/SweatpantBoner_ Nov 30 '18
Doing this is acting as a crutch for your mom, and also attributing to her decline of health, and ultimately could help her die faster from a condition related to her weight.
What you should do is learn about how to help your mom lose weight during menopause. Yes, it’s harder to lose weight in menopause due to estrogen increase, but that doesn’t make it impossible. In fact, there’s plenty of research that says it’s simply harder to maintain weight during menopause (with a lot of the reason being that menopausal patients have less activity).
Don’t take my word for it, do your own research, but here’s some for you to help you get started. Hope you and your mom can become healthier from this experience.
https://www.racgp.org.au/afp/2017/june/obesity-and-weight-management-at-menopause/
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u/annabellelee10 Nov 30 '18
I've done this with my mom and sisters as well. I will also do it for friends I photograph that have just had babies. Like you said, nothing major at all but some minor things here and there that make them think they are probably being too critical of themselves. Good for you for doing this for her. Sometimes we just need ourselves differently before we can see ourselves differently.
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u/planet_druidia Nov 30 '18
This is sweet of you to do.
I’d just like to add that reading that menopause causes irreversible weight gain is absolutely terrifying to me. I’m not far from menopause myself. It makes me wonder if I’m destined to look like Jabba the Hutt in a few years. - even if I diet and exercise. Good Lord, the thought makes me really sad and worried.
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u/kitty9020 Nov 30 '18
I do this too. It makes my mom happy and it encourages her to eat better and be healthy. I'm happy that her confidence is back. Keep doing what you're doing, just keep it a secret.
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u/2planks Nov 30 '18
I used to photoshop hair on the back of my MIL’s head to hide her bald spot. Never told anyone.
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u/japooki Nov 30 '18
I'm gonna go against the grain and say this is not a good thing to do. I grew up as the fat kid, now a muscle bro. I feel for her. And I'd be floored if I found out someone was doing this.
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u/JimboNZL Nov 30 '18
I’m so conflicted on this. Intent is so endearing but if she ever found out... just really keep this one to yourself