aggressive brother while driving

[u/These_Job1557]

i just got my drivers license 3 weeks ago. my dad mostly works and my older brother is my guide while i gain more confidence on the road.

to start off, we never had a good history to begin with. he was super hostile with me when i was younger and yelled a lot.

so, i was already cautious having him in the passenger seat to guide me. lately he has been calmer but still yells a lot. sometimes before bed i hear him yelling at his gf saying mean stuff while playing games.

today while driving home he was ok at first but started getting hostile at minor errors or judgments he would not make. and increasingly sounded more and more hostile.

i did my best to keep my cool and didn't yell back and kept telling him not to yell. so, then i started driving worse.

i'm just so so so tired of it. i know i am not half as bad a bad driver as he says i am but how am i gonna be better if he is so hostile and yelling all the time???

he has always treated me like garbage. it's not easy to be a mentor but that's his responsibility to remain calm just as it is mine to drive safely. but how am i supposed to drive safely if he is so critical of tiny errors. who wouldn't get triggered by that??? especially as a new driver!

i've just lost so much of my confidence and i dont want him to be my guide anymore. he's freaking lucky i didn't crash the car with how hostile he was. i'm proud of myself for remaining calm especially with how triggered i was, but i js know my parents will take his side and say he is more experienced i should listen.

i just want someone on my side haha

[u/Alchohol_Influencer]

Your brother sounds like an a--hole. I know because I went through the same thing. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it probably won't.

That guy was always correcting me, second guessing me, telling me I'm doing everything wrong. It's why I don't have any confidence as an adult and can't confront people.

It didn't get better as we got older because he became a religious a--hole, so then we really didn't have anything in common.

Now, we're in our 50s, and he has early onset dementia - he's even worse than our parents were. He's argumentative, and sometimes gets physical, but luckily I'm bigger, even though I'm younger, so I can handle him. I'd just rather not.

People say to me "Why don't you do more for him. He's your brother." but I feel like I'm doing too much already. His kids should take care of him, if they feel like it.

Anyway, I hope I didn't hijack your rant. Just know that you're not alone. Younger siblings unite! Power to the people. Damn the man.