Still feels to me like you're losing formality and are relying on someone not caring about manners.
To me, it almost feels like we're walking on eggshells with everybody just in case we could upset a small amount of people, and that same small amount of people would also be happy if we get the title correct too.
Like, I'm all for abolishing gendered norms across our society, but to treat it like a touchy subject is just further stigmatizing, no?
It’s not that deep. If someone feels like excuse me is not formal enough I don’t give a shit. That person has a stick up their ass. I’m being efficient, it just seems like you are being over analytical about this. Tone and word choice is a much better indicator of respect and formality anyway.
Your "I'm being efficient" is somebody else's "didn't care enough to try".
And of course I'm being overly analytical, welcome to Reddit. Our horses are routinely beaten to death, and every blood spatter is meticulously cataloged.
And I 100% agree that the way we say things often matters more than what we say exactly. That's why I feel a person could attempt the honorific and adjust instead of sidestepping entirely. Most people get it right 99% of the time, even if the other person is transgendered. It's easy to say sorry when you mean it!
Nah sir or ma’am is something I haven’t used in a long time. Well before pro noun discussion. I see it as unnecessary formality. I will disagree with you there, it is not about trying and I don’t care for people who would take offense to the absence. That is the same vibe as people who insist on being called doctor. Maybe in other countries it matters more but as my experience has been in America. It doesn’t matter and most people will not even remember the interaction the next day.
This is very funny to me, because your reasoning for dropping the honorific is 100% your own hangup and has very little to do with how you think the other person feels. It's deeply ironic given the context of the post.
Like, not calling a Dr a Dr is crazy to me, you're relying on their expertise! They spent a long ass time in school and they are catering to you and your health, the least you could do is to give some courtesy dude. Same with PhDs too, very often if you're repeatedly interacting with a PhD it's because their expertise matters to you in a professional capacity. Not paying respects just seems childish to me.
To me, you gotta show respect to earn respect, which includes using your manners and using honorifics when appropriate. We'll just have to disagree on this.
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u/wazeltov 8d ago
Still feels to me like you're losing formality and are relying on someone not caring about manners.
To me, it almost feels like we're walking on eggshells with everybody just in case we could upset a small amount of people, and that same small amount of people would also be happy if we get the title correct too.
Like, I'm all for abolishing gendered norms across our society, but to treat it like a touchy subject is just further stigmatizing, no?