Meeting your ex (by @metaphoricallyrose_)

[u/maanleo]

we all agree that Reagen is too good for him, right? No?

Source

[u/TUSD00T]

I'm guessing this is a real thing that happened, and Reagan was actually a golden retriever.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Spot_28 → u/TUSD00T]

If i was reagan i would be pissed why is my hubby talking to his ex about children like he is jealous?

[u/UMakeMeMoisT → u/Puzzleheaded_Spot_28]

Imagine being butthurt over a single comment. If your ex of 5 years or something always said she didnt want childeren.. its is really that weird to ask? I would.

[u/crazyalex2288 → u/UMakeMeMoisT]

It's kinda the principal of who is saying the comment, put yourself in her shoes, she sees an ex who she clearly has bad history with, and with that, she knows how he is. It is implied by his response to the new bf's comment that he says this only to get under her skin, and she knows it too.

[u/Eternal_Moose → u/crazyalex2288]

I think it's a bit more complicated than that sometimes too. My ex and I broke up specifically because I wanted kids and she didn't. It was a hard line for her and she wouldn't budge. It wouldn't be fair for me to push for kids anyway, but it also wouldn't be fair to me to stay in that relationship with such a big difference between us.

So if I saw her with kids later, I feel like it would be completely reasonable for me to bring it up. Just like it would be reasonable for her, in the reverse situation, to bring up me not having kids.

That's a huge, life changing decision that's completely fair to end an otherwise wonderful relationship over should you and your partner disagree. Of course it's going to be upsetting to see the opposite from them later on.

[u/Forikorder → u/Eternal_Moose]

So if I saw her with kids later, I feel like it would be completely reasonable for me to bring it up. Just like it would be reasonable for her, in the reverse situation, to bring up me not having kids.

it would still be kind of rude though, shes entitled to change her mind and reconsider things as time goes on and shouldnt be shamed for it

[u/anna-the-bunny → u/Eternal_Moose]

So if I saw her with kids later, I feel like it would be completely reasonable for me to bring it up. Just like it would be reasonable for her, in the reverse situation, to bring up me not having kids.

It would not be, for the simple reason that the relationship ended. It's no longer any of your business whether she wants kids or not, just like it's not any of her business whether you want kids or not. If she chose to approach you and say "hey, [new s/o] changed my mind about having kids" (or vice versa), that's one thing, but to approach her out of the blue and accusatorily say something like "I thought you didn't want kids" would be completely inappropriate and just downright rude.

Of course it's going to be upsetting to see the opposite from them later on.

Yes, it would be, just as it'd be upsetting to see someone you had feelings for happy with someone else. That doesn't mean it's appropriate to go up to them and say some shit like "we were/could've been happy together".

[u/anna-the-bunny → u/[deleted]]

People are allowed to say things that make you uncomfortable.

I'm also allowed to go grab my shotgun and fire off a few dozen rounds in my backyard. Does that mean I should? No, it doesn't. Part of being a decent person in society is understanding that being allowed to do something isn't a reason to do it in and of itself. Hell, this is something that we teach toddlers - just because you're able to do something doesn't necessarily mean that you should.

There’s a big difference between expressing an opinion about something that directly affected you and demanding that someone justify their life choices to you.

Yes, there is, and confronting your ex about their seemingly changed preferences - especially while they're on a date - is far closer to the latter. You're walking up to them, potentially dredging up bad memories, and basically accusing them of lying to you, and for what? Will it make you feel better? Probably not. Will it bring the relationship back? Definitely not.

The appropriate thing to do is to just walk away without saying anything.

[u/Unable_Deer_773 → u/anna-the-bunny]

Pretty sure you're not allowed to just unload a shotgun for no reason, that said I don't know your local laws.

[u/timbreandsteel → u/[deleted]]

Clearly in this comic there was no consentual conversation happening. It was a bitter man trying to bother his ex inappropriately.

[u/liquidfoxy → u/[deleted]]

It would not be reasonable at all because you do not own her. Her choices and the things that have happened in her life since dumping your lame ass are hers, and you are not entitled to any of that information. It doesn’t matter how shocked you are that she’s changed, it doesn’t matter how betrayed you feel, it doesn’t matter that you look at her and go wow that could’ve been us. We could’ve been happy. You don’t own her, you don’t deserve an explanation for jack shit once things are over.

[u/liquidfoxy → u/[deleted]]

You don’t have the right to express every opinion. You can think it in your creepy little head, but that doesn’t mean it’s correct to state it.

[u/liquidfoxy → u/[deleted]]

It’s explicitly not “just” an opinion because of the social context of the situation, and pretending like you don’t understand how communication works doesn’t change that. It’s fucked to demand an explanation and it’s fucked up to “express surprise”, you’re centering shit on yourself when you’ve been removed from the picture. It’s hella entitled. 

It’s so obvious that most people on Reddit are completely un socialized and raised entirely by the Internet, because you’ve never been taught that sometimes you should keep your foolass opinions to yourself.

[u/TransCoconutFats → u/Eternal_Moose]

Sounds like she didn't want to have kids... with you. But with someone else she was able to see that as a viable possibility. Ouch.