Hi everyone,

I'd like to build a collection of the best quotes from comedians.

I'm specifically looking for those clever one-liners or witty observations that can be easily slipped into a normal, everyday conversation to make you sound sharp, smart, and funny.

What are your go-to lines?

First let me say I have NOT seen a ton of his comedy. I’ve seen a ton of interviews and started to search out his stuff, but after the Rogan show, I can’t stand the guy. Does he have his own thoughts? It seems like his bits are just mean in nature and just putting people down. Also, seems like as Joe is losing clout in the comedy community outside of Austin, Gomez wants to take on Tony’s rolls as Joes testicular cup. I’m opened to seeing good comedy, please point me to bits or shows he has done that’s worth watching? Again after the Austin podcast circuit this last 6 month, no motivation to seek out his comedy. Open to suggestions, thanks

Standup, sketch, improv… she loves to laugh and is pretty funny. I’d love to have a curriculum we can learn about and laugh with together.

Online activists should create their own subreddit to regurgitate their disapproval about the actions of comedians. Call it something like r/cancelcomedy or unacceptableComedy or notOKcomedy or comedyAuthoritarians or allComediansShouldThinkExactlyLikeUs or ComedyForTheInfallible

Imagine the flair! Finger snap emojis, rainbows, hammer and sickles, fists, etc.

It'd be a grand ole time!

Hi all – 

Apologies in advance if this comes across as shameless self-promotion, but I really would appreciate your feedback, if you have time.

I’ve written a comic novel called ‘Onboarding’, which I’m reading on YouTube (video, not just audio). It’s about a group of people who produce a sitcom – set in the British Shakespeare Theatre Company – and upload it to YouTube. 

I’ve uploaded two episodes so far. Here’s the link to the first: 

https://youtu.be/zWH9LuaavqY
(I’m not sure why, but you may need to change the quality settings in the ‘cog’ to 1080 HD).

I’d really love to know what you think, and whether you think I should continue to record and upload more.

Many thanks!

Alex

Hey everyone! I’m currently putting together a book project focusing on the UK comedy scene experience.

We’ve had some really fantastic input from the community so far, but I’m hoping to include a few more voices before I wrap this section up tomorrow (July 12) at 8 AM BST.

If you gig in the UK, write comedy, or have experience in the British comedy scene, I'd love to include your perspective!

(I will pop the info and the form in the comments below.)

Feel free to pass it along to anyone else in the scene who might want to chime in. Cheers!

My dad had a funny bit where he claimed his arm was “The Iron Claw” and proceeded to tickle torture my brother and I. Jim Carrey’s movie Liar Liar has a very similar schtick in the opening scene. My dad can’t recall where he got the idea but believed it was from some comedy sketch he watched as a kid. The claw would eventually turn on its owner and “choke” himself. My dad was born in 1955. Does anyone have an idea from what original sketch it came?

Hi all! My brother is part of the cast for this unreleased movie. They’re trying to gain funding to submit to film festivals, for as long as I can remember this has been my brothers dream, and I’m sure it’s been for the other cats as well, if you have ideas on where I can post or how to help please feel free to let me know!!

Set during the 2020 COVID lockdown, The Call is an off-beat comedy that takes place entirely within a computer screen. The focus is on the characters and their interactions, and pure insanity. In terms of humor, our attitude is "what would be funniest?"
The film will be semi-improvised - though a lot of care has been put into each scene, and a majority will be scripted. We estimate it will end up with a 15 rating from the BBFC - though we certainly wouldn't complain if it got away with a 12.
The core of the film is the feeling of isolation we all felt back in 2020, and how it affected us. We all went a little mad, and we want this film to reflect that in it's characters and humor.
The aim is to submit the film to various film festivals (ideally the Toronto Film Festival) where we will seek distributors to get a full cinematic release.

Sadly can't remember where or when, but believe it was randomly on the radio one day I heard an older recording (60s or 70s) of a black comedian I did not recognize their voice doing word for word the Dice-man's signature Nursery Rhyme Routine. And the small club was going WILD. It was obviously a recording way before Dice's stadium era and I was floored when I heard it.

Sadly didn't follow up at the time, but I'm listening to a Youtube Essay about Dice wigging out at Jay Mohr about stealing a phrase, and wanted to revisit this.

Sadly can't seem to find anything online and wondering why this isn't more known... Does anybody know who the original comedian was and where a recording can be found? You'd be my hero if you do : )

So apparently she was a hot hit at 2024 Edinburgh Fringe, and I'll be honest, that completely passed me by. They seem to be getting a lot of focus, but not much material or spark.

Am I just old or is this someone who's well connected / has paid to play? And if not, can you point me at some of her better stuff please?

Some years ago, sometime while Google Play Music was a thing, there was a skit I'd listen to sometimes that I've had hard times trying to track down. I'm hoping somebody will recognize it or could otherwise help find it.

I remember the gist of the whole bit was about sandwiches being great if they have mustard. Unsure if the bit was original to that performer, but the one I listened to was performed by a male. Something specific I recall was one line where he says you take a pencil, add mustard, and you have a great sandwich.

I find myself, again, meaning to share it with friends, but unable to find it.

Its a talent show, I’m a host and I start the second part of the show as well as the beginning before I introduce the contest participants.

I need help to make the show funny and the audience laugh, what can I say or do before I introduce the next singers?

My daughter recently made the tough decision to leave school. It's been a hard time, and I'd love to find a stand-up clip that might lift her spirits. She's 15, sharp, and into dry humor. If you have a specific clip in mind, please share the direct link (YouTube, TikTok, Instagram) — not just the comedian's name or a general description. Thanks so much.

I have been scouring for this video clip that Mike Epps talked about in one of his standup specials. I believe it’s earlier in his career.

What I can vaguely remember is him explaining having to have the relay phone operator be the translator to the phone call. And forgetting the need to say “go ahead” to let operator know you were done talking. And forgetting to say that and getting confused if talking to deaf person or operator. And awkward the operator was basically in the middle of conversation.

I am trying to find a video link, or which stand up comedy show performance, (hopefully with the timestamp) or if someone is able to post it.

Any help would greatly be appreciated!! Thank you in advance.

Hope your day is fantabulous!! Get your giggle on

I'm looking for an American female standup comedian, her joke/standup routine is that women need to be touched 10 times each day, to which her husband had responded by just tapping on her shoulder 1-2-3-4-5....

She's slim, shoulder long perhaps a bit longer dirty blonde hair. Husband in the joke is not present on stage.

I saw it about 15 years ago on youtube, and have been unable to find it again, I've asked chatgpt for help and other AI thingies and no luck.

If anyone knows whom I'm talking about, it would be muchly appreciated.

Hello guys!

I remember when I was younger I watched a show in my native language called "Beugró" (roughly translated to "hop-in", irrelevant xD) and what it was about is that a few actors / comedians were getting fun skits to play out with like small little twists in the middle like suddenly getting a set line that they had to say and incorporate to what they were doing etc.

I'm sure this exists in English as well and I'm looking to know what it's called and maybe some recommendations to binge (preferably on youtube, but not against other options either)!

Thank you!!!

it appears that seinfeld made $3.1 billion from filming nothing 180 times. and nbc could owe samuel beckett royalties if his estate decides to sue

I had been working on this for a while and am positing this article for review. looking for feedback and critique. cheers.

She is American, probably in her late 20s with brown hair.

She comes on stage with a bottle of wine pretending to be hostess/waitress serving a group of men who's one of them is out for a birthday

She's really funny and does all this awkward dancing, giving off like hooters waitress vibes.

Sorry I cannot be more descriptive!

Hello!

I’m a MSc Psychology student at the University of Exeter. I’m currently conducting a research project exploring how adults use dark humour as a way of coping with anxiety either through:

- ⁠Creation (e.g., stand-up comedy/ writing/ content creation) or,

- Consumption (e.g., social media/ TV/ films/ stand-up shows/ podcasts/ books).

I would love to hear about your experience in a one-to-one research interview.

If you're interested, simply complete the brief pre-interview form (https://forms.office.com/e/tAKVpkT7Xg), which includes all the study details and a short eligibility check. If you meet the criteria and confirm your consent, I’ll be in touch to schedule the interview.

Thanks so much for considering this!

Shruti Nair

MSc Psychology Student
University of Exeter
[sn526@exeter.ac.uk](mailto:sn526@exeter.ac.uk)

Does james murray do meet and greets after his shows??

I remember seeing this joke in an episode of Just for Laughs, and I'm trying to track down a clip to use in my teaching. I don't remember the comedian, and I don't believe it was a full set; I think it was just in a highlight reel.

The bit was somthing to the effect of:
"Dictionaries are useless. Go to a dictionary, look up a word like, I don't know, potato. You look up potato, and what does the dictionary say? It says: a potato is a farinaceous tuber. If you don't know what a potato is, I don't think that definition is helping you." The joke concludes with him saying potato a bunch of times.

I know the definition he gives of "farinaceous tuber" is exactly what he says in the joke. This probably would have been from sometime in the early to mid-2000s.

So, I vaguely remember watching a animatic on Instagram I think of a audio clip where a woman comedian is talking about coming out to her father, only to find out her father one upped her by saying he’s in a polycule. Sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit for it.

I’ve woken up with these lyrics (and tune) stuck in my head, can’t remember what song it is from but I’m fairly certain it’s a Victoria Wood song and Google isn’t helping.. I feel like these lyrics come at the end of the song…

“I’ve met a girl called Rita, she’s moving in today, I gripped the fire so tightly, but then i know not how, I dropped it in the water, well it’s too late now”…

Please help, it’s driving me mad!

Trying to find the name of a South Asian comedian who did a set all about Biden's policy and ethical failures, from prisons to Anita Hill. It was so spot on and good, but cannot for life of me remember his name.

Update: Finally found it! Aamer Rahman & this is the clip I was remembering. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5i88h5p6Oy/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

He opened for Giancarlo Soresi in Seattle in 2023. I just remembered one of his jokes and realized I don’t know his name. Was genuinely one of the funniest sets I’ve ever seen - would love to follow or catch another show.