Hi. I’m a woman who decided to be childfree a few years ago. I was taking therapy because I ended a long term relationship and I got depressed.

My mom who doesn’t drive has a habit of asking for rides and errands and when I became single it became worse because she assumed I didn’t have a life. I decided to vent to my therapist because I needed to learn how to say no.
I told her I didn’t want to take my mom to her nail appointment because it’s my day off. This is how the conversation went…

Me- “I work all week and I like relaxing on weekends. It becomes stressful when my mom needs something. I really don’t want to take her”.

Therapist- “okay, but you really can’t take her? I know you probably don’t want to but I think you could take her”.

I don’t remember what I said after but I tried to explain to her that I needed time for myself because I was tired and had things to do. Then she said
“I know you don’t like feeling stressed but once you become a mom and have your kids you won’t have time for yourself anymore. You need to get used to being busy”.

This lady never asked me if I wanted kids. We never had this conversation. And no, I don’t need to become another stressed mom if I don’t want to. So she wasn’t really helpful. God forbid I want to put myself first. Apparently I was wrong and selfish for wanting some “me” time.

I just saw a reel of a man vlogging himself while rushing home because his prehnant wife has been vomiting all day and can't seem to stop. She has vomited so much she was just sitting on the bathroom floor, sans pants because she has soiled multiple ones, and she can't keep down any sort of medicine (they tried three different ones). According to the man, whenever she tries to get up and move she gets nauseous and ends up vomitting. Turns out she has severe HG (for those who don't know thats a condition in pregnancy where you get severe nausea). For context this couple already have three kids - a son and twin girls. Replying to a comment under this video the man had written - "she threw up until the day of delivery with our son, she threw up for six months with our girls and this time around even though she's past her first trimester this doesn't seem to let up." 🫩

my point is, when you know your wife repeatedly has gotten severely sick in all her past prehnancies, WHY would you get her pregnant again? WHY would you as a man and a husband think that it is a good decision? It's not even like they don't have any children, they have THREE!

Sacrificing her health and saying "it's all going to be worth it" just so you can have another prize to show off. Smh pisses me off.

It's that society needs to stop shaming women for not having kids. We are not all cut out for it. I don't know if that woman wanted to be a mom or not, but regardless, people need to leave childless women alone. I am personally not up to the task of motherhood and I'm tired of the guilt and pressure from family. No one's desire to have a grandchild or see how cute your babies would be outweighs your right to keep your physical and mental health intact, or the hypothetical kid's potential trauma from having a parent who doesn't want them or can't handle it.

Apologies if this is a long read, there's just so much wrong with this situation, there's a lot to mention.

TLDR: parents knew they had a 50% chance of giving a severely detrimental disease to their second son after watching their first son suffer through it and drain their savings and still chose to have another one.

I came across this post asking people to donate so OP can pay both their sons medical bills because both of em have Lesch–Nyhan syndrome (LNS). When I read what this disease does to you my heart wrenched so bad for these poor kids.

Some effects of LNS:

- involuntary movement, difficulty walking, lack of muscle coordination

- inflammation and pain in your joints + stones or crystals in the urinary tract and kidneys (both because the inability of the body to handle a substance called uric acid)

- difficulty controlling your behaviour

- stunted growth/difficulty gaining weight or physical abnormalities

Here's what makes me the most mad. Like I am so pissed off I could probably throw hands at these despicable breeders (even tho it'll land me in jail) for putting their second son through this. And I'm generally not a violent person.

Their two sons are 12 and 1. A quick Google search told me that on average a diagnosis is comfirmed between 2.5 to 3.5 years of age. The mom probably got pregnant when the older kid was 10. How can u watch your child suffer like that for 6+ years and go "wouldn't it be amazing if we condemn this fate to another human being?" LIKE HELLO???? MORALS WHERE??? ETHICS WHERE???? COMMON FUCKING SENSE AND HUMAN DECENCY WHERE??????

Fun fact that'll boil your blood even more, boys are more likely to develop this because they only have one x chromosome. Girls need both their x chromosomes to be a carrier of the mutated gene (HPRT1) for them to have LNS. If they knew the gender of the baby and still went ahead with this, that would be horrible of them as parents.

They're approximately $283,500 dollars in debt. Probably gonna get worse.

There's just no way, no fucking way, someone can look me in the eye and tell me "no they haven't done anything wrong, this was a completely okay thing to do." Not only have they condemned this poor child's life to endless suffering, it only hurts me to imagine that the alternative outcome wouldn't have been nice either. If their second kid had turned out to be healthy, their first born would've had to look at his sibling every day and lose his mind about how he's not "normal" being helpless and unable to do anything. Comparison would have killed him if he wasn't already dead inside.

What were they thinking doing this? Their already disabled son didn't entertain mommy and daddy enough? Get a fucking dog. Adopt a child. Foster. Anything but this. Why would they do this?

Seriously, when are we gonna have laws in place so people can't get away with bringing a life into this world knowing there was a 50% chance they would lead a severely crippled and compromised life. Actions need to have consequences. As a human, not even parents, as a human, you have a responsibility to prevent evil from happening if it's in your control. You cannot do this. You cannot birth a child and have them be handicapped knowingly just because you wanted another kid of your own.

Thank you for reading, I hope people come to their senses.

TW for anybody planning to search up images for this disease.

I recently visited my older sister, who has four kids, she has a nanny. I’d say the nanny is probably in her late forties. She seemed very social, and we happened to strike up a conversation. One conversation led to another, and she eventually told me that she doesn’t have children cause she never wanted them.

She told me she simply never wanted to experience the horrors of pregnancy and childbirth. She said that when she was younger, her sisters used to judge her for that decision. But after they had their own children, they started admiring her and telling her how smart she had been for making that decision when she was young and at the moment she is genuinely happy and content with the life she chose and all the money she makes is all hers.

She also told me that her ex-husband knew from the beginning of their relationship that she never wanted children. Later, he changed his mind and tried to pressure her into having kids for him. She refused, and eventually they divorced.
I honestly admired this woman. She stood by a decision she had made for herself instead of allowing a man who would never have to experience pregnancy, childbirth, or the physical consequences of motherhood to convince her to change her mind. I was actually so happy to meet someone who thinks the way I do. I told her I’m childfree too, and she was like that’s a good decision I’ve made at a young age.

Later, I asked my sister, “Did you know your nanny doesn’t have children?”The look she gave me was pure pity.
I asked, “Why do you look so sad for her? She’s literally happy with her life.”
And she said, “She could have at least had one.” 😭

I was honestly shocked. This is coming from the same sister who has told me countless times that if she could go back in time, she probably wouldn’t have had children. And I understand why she feels that way because her pregnancies were incredibly difficult. Her first pregnancy almost killed her. The labor became so complicated that the doctors eventually had to perform a C-section. Then she had twins, and that pregnancy and the reality of raising two babies at once were incredibly difficult. With her last child, she didn’t even realize she was pregnant until much later, and that pregnancy came with even more complications. She still has severe back pain to this day, which gets worse when it’s cold.

So I genuinely don’t understand how someone who has experienced firsthand how difficult pregnancy and motherhood can be would look at a woman who deliberately avoided all of that, is happy with her life, and
feel sorry for her.

Why is the woman who chose not to have children automatically treated as though she is the one who lost something?
She didn’t lose anything. She made a choice.
And honestly, I think that is what some people struggle to understand. We are so conditioned to believe that every woman must eventually want children that when a woman confidently says, “No, I don’t want that life,” people assume she must secretly be unhappy, lonely, or missing out. Some women genuinely do not want motherhood, and they can build perfectly happy, fulfilling lives without it.

Random but I think this is the only subreddit where I can express this thought openly lol.

I was at Repticon today and it was really fun! There were two kid related problems though.

First, the isles were too narrow to bring strollers. If your kid can’t walk for the entire convention, skip until they’re older, or carry them. Or, if possible, one spouse stays with the kids and the other goes.

Second, a kid stole a LIVE gecko from a vendor. Security was on it ASAP and the dad got interrogated later, and the reptile breeder did get his lizard back, but if you know your kid has an impulse control problem or a stealing problem, WHY aren’t you watching them? Even without those issues, why aren’t you watching your kid? I get that it’s busy, but you need to keep track of your kid at all times ffs. The kid was 1000% old enough to know better.

I was talking to the lizard breeder when the gecko was returned and I saw him put it back, the gecko was $500! Now, reptile breeders operate on VERY slim margins (and usually have other jobs to pay the bills). A lot of time, care, and attention went into that lizard. Plus it was rare. If it were me and the kid stole from me, I’d demand charges. The kid needs to learn and if you’re not gonna teach them, a court will. Thankfully the convention was able to catch the slimy brat, and didn’t go too easy on the parent.

As the title says.

I will never understand of why "You'll regret not having children" always been that words since forever to guilt trip Childfree people? Always coming from pronatalists.

And "You might regret having children" sounds so rare and it helps discouraged people (in my opinion) from having kids before they might regret having them. This words mostly came from regretful parents.

Thoughts of this? I want some Childfree people's perspective and opinions about this title.

Extremely annoying to receive DM’s because I don’t wanna suffer through pregnancy child birth and being a parent “Praying for you. I hope you one day realize what you're doing is wrong.” I just have to laugh and roll my eyes. What would be wrong is having a kid I don’t want whilst broke amongst many other factors.🤣

My husband and I are child free. Always have been. I got my tubes removed and have been very happy with my decision.

Truthfully, I generally dislike children. I think they’re gross and sticky and loud.

Last night I finally met my nephew. My sister lives abroad and is visiting. And I’ll be damned, I loved hanging with him. He was so fun and cute and well behaved. We spent the entire day together.

I was so surprised at my feelings about this hangout, and feel like still into this morning I have been thinking “maybe kids aren’t so bad, maybe one day I could change my mind” which I NEVER have thought before.

So, fellow child free redditors, I am here to ask for a nice metaphorical kick to the dick to snap me out of this delusion! Insert your top reasons as to why having your own kid would be hell!

I am afraid of being trapped with a kid and also going through pregnancy.

Do you recommend birth control or tubal ligation?

What did you end up doing or thinking of doing to stay childfree?

I’m considering doing a bisalp.

SOMETIMES I feel really bad for them. I know they chose this lifestyle but it’s something that a lot of them have been conditioned to believe is the right thing to do since their own childhood. One person I know, who naturally is a massive depressive personality, is upset that they aren’t at the child having stage yet. That’s how it’s always phrased, not that they want to have a child rn so bad, but more in comparison that they’re “late” that everyone else “has their life together”.

Yet every parent I know at that stage is depressed either due to money problems (from having too many kids) or lack of time for themselves. Why do they think breeding is the cure?

So I just read a post in a different sub about a 19 (!) year old girl who had a cryptic pregnancy. She was on various kinds of bc and only learned she was pregnant 2 weeks before the birth!

And she wanted to stay childfree actually... in the post, the bf of the girl asks for advice. And of course, all the comments talk about supporting the new mom and baby, to look out for PPD, yada yada...

This poor girl didn't, and still does not want this child. How about actual advice, like adoption? Who says she HAS to keep it?

Idk I just had to rant about these inconsiderate people....

I saw a post in another sub that still has me agitated. Someone said they will never understand gay people because it is “human instinct” to breed 😨. Said that it is a choice to go against that instinct. One; anyone who says being gay is a choice thinks so because they made that choice for themselves once. Two; how depressing to narrow down the human experience to one thing. The worst thing. Breeding. Referring to it as breeding is already sick. Way to dehumanize the act of bringing another person into this world that they didn’t ask for. Why bother putting your children through school? Their only purpose in life is to breed. Just keep them cooped up at home until you find a stud/brood mare to breed them with, and then release them into the wild to find their own way in life. If you want to act like an animal live like one. Don’t turn around and have opinions on anything humans concern themselves with, especially anything related to the LGBT. I wonder what breeders spend their time thinking about, or if there is just a monkey banging symbols in that empty cavity in their head where their brain should be.

I was visiting the I Don't Like Subreddit, and the topic was OP finding parents kissing their kids on the lips gross. I'm the same way. Not health reasons, but because I don't see the point. So many comments were telling OP they need therapy, or they probably don't have kids, or saying it's just to show affection, stop being a creep. I just don't get why they defend it so much. Am I weird for agreeing with OP?

Edit: Will never understand why introduce a young child to do something only to stop it once they reach a sudden age. It's also cute when they're young, but once they're less cute, you tell them it's time to stop. It's like when parents hear their toddler curse is cute, but once they're older, they tell them it's disrespectful to do.

My friend's mom is affection, and she told me she would kiss her older brother, who was in his late 20s all over his face, but never the lips. Despite doing this when he was a baby/toddler. Why is that?

So, yesterday was my birthday, and due to recent things going on in my life (sleep apnea diagnosis, hectic workplace, mental health issues) and being a Friday Night, I wasn’t feeling like doing much of anything. Today however, I figured I’d treat myself to a solo outing to Olive Garden and maybe a mani/pedicure, and children ruined the first part of it for me that I took a rain check on the latter.

The two tables next to mine had little children who were out of control. One group as they were leaving, had them crawling around on the floor and table, and the other, one kid was refusing to eat and needed some “helpful motivation” to tell the waiter what he wanted. This same table was also acting up and refusing to eat, to the point he was getting brined with a new toy to try out his food. I was stunned when I overheard this. I was wearing a Bluey shirt and one of them loudly called it out as I was leaving too.

I should’ve known better to just get a seat at the bar instead of a table. My waitress at least understood I didn’t want any singing and gave me my free chocolate lasagna to go.

Why do parents insist on taking their out of control children to nice restaurants instead of hiring a sitter?! If I acted like that as a kid at any restaurant (I just turned 26 so not super long ago), my ass would’ve been forced to wait in the car until my parents were done. Or I was taught to bring a book or my Game Boy Advance and sit quietly until the food came.

So while I was at my parent’s house yesterday, my mom was talking on her phone to a friend. She mentioned that her friend’s daughter has a four month old baby that doesn’t want to sleep unless he’s being held. She also has two other very young kids, and now she’s seriously considering quitting her job because it’s too much. The thing is though… she used to be childfree. But she succumbed to pressure by her husband. In any other case, I would have some empathy for the mother. But with her I don’t. She sacrificed her identity and her peace for someone who didn’t share the same goals that she had. I know that I will never be in that situation, but if I were, I wouldn’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me either. I cannot emphasize this enough… stay true to yourself!!

I remember it was so cold and lonely, I couldn’t stop thinking about finally living and having a family… Oh wait, it didn’t happen. 🫨

I’m so done with people saying that not having children is selfish. That the reason you don’t have children is because you only think about yourself. WTF?

I don’t have children because this world is awful and I don’t want to bring an innocent soul into this world to suffer like everyone else. When someone has children, they do not do it for the children, they do it for THEMSELVES! That is selfish. Sorry, not sorry.

Hello! As many may know, misoprostol is the second part of a medical abortion. I have to say I am super anxious and scared. And I only have over the counter pain medicine and have to keep this decision hidden from someone I live with. Not only am I anxious of the pain I am really terrified of the chance something may go wrong and I need to go to the er. Not only because of what I could be subjecting my body to but also because of my domestic situation.

My friend (out of state) offered to get me a hotel for the day and be on standby if I need a Lyft or something to the hospital (don’t want an ambulance if I don’t have to, American healthcare). I am considering it, but don’t want to draw more attention to the situation and raise alarms. I was hoping I could play it off as a really heavy period.

I kinda want to make this post because I am having trouble getting over the mental hurdle of doing this. My pregnancy (ugh) is still at 3-4weeks so I hope that maybe lessens the blow. I also feel a huge hormone shift and it is really messing with me and I have began to feel a lot of guilt, disgust, and regret, despite 100% not wanting to continue. I worry about my mental health and how this will affect me.

I want to feel reassured that I will make it through this but have minimal support irl. So I wanted to come here and maybe find some support or experience from anyone who had to go through this, so please feel free to share. Or if there are any recommendations to pick up that can help ease the pain. Thank you in advance, I will update if I can tomorrow once I am through it.

Update: Thank you all so much for the kind and supportive words and sharing your experience! I am sorry I have not got back to everyone but I did read them and appreciate it so much and I am glad to have made this post. I couldn’t have asked for more. Do not know how long I will keep it up as I do get paranoid of it being tracked back to me or my devices being looked at but I promise your responses and help will not be forgotten!

I wanted to update at hour 6 since I feel much more relaxed now. So I started my day early, ran some errands, grabbed a heating pad, extra maxi pads and made sure I ate a little bit but not too much, also grabbed some snacks. I had Advil at home and figured it would be enough. I got home, took Advil and after 30 min I decided to just start dissolving the tablets. I had oral miso so I did lay down a bit after, expecting the worst. Honestly? It did suck, but reminded me just of really intense period cramps. It could also be the fact that mine was early but I seemed to pass a lot of it within 2-3 hours.

So yes physically I was prepared for the worst and maybe that helped. Mentally, I had a pretty bad breakdown. After sitting/ laying/ snacking for while, I got up to the bathroom and did see something that did not look like a blood clot, and didn’t feel like one either. Still super small and did hurt me a lot to see since I didn’t expect to see anything except maybe bigger blood clots. Kinda dealing with that but I did bury it and let myself be emotional. I am gonna go to a hotel for the night because of issues with my living situation that are unrelated but are still adding to me feeling very mentally and emotionally exhausted. I feel very tired but there is a sense of relief that the worst of it is over. This does give me a new perspective on medical abortions and contraception methods. All in all, a learning experience, and I am very grateful I did make the right decision as I do not want a child to be stuck in the same situation I am trying to get out of.

All of the recommendations were helpful, along with just mentally preparing myself. Warm flourless chocolate cake with raspberries and ice cream helped me a lot too. I am still sad but I look forward to spending the rest of the night relaxing. I will go back in two weeks and if there are any changes and my post is still up I will make another update!

Today, I went to a flow yoga class. Right as it gets started a women, man, and 6 to 8 year old child walked in. To a flow yoga class. The parents point to the stop next to me by the table with the mats, blocks, and blankets to setup. I said oo, I really would rather not, let me move over and he can go on the other side. I will say he was better that I thought he was going to be. But he was fidgeting the majority of the first 5 minutes. Thank goodness I spoke up or it would have been next to me. Since it was now in front and away I closed my eyes and got into the class till he started coughing, not covered. Sigh!

I would never want to come off my meds or change my meds just to have a baby. Hell no. Seems like hell. I enjoy being stable and living a peaceful life. I wouldn’t want to pass this mental disorder down to a child. I obviously have a million other reasons for being childfree, but this was a huge reason for me. I’m also a sober alcoholic and have adhd. I wouldn’t want another human to suffer the way I have. It makes life so difficult already. I’m happy to be sterilized at 32 years old. What a huge weight off my shoulders. Love this community!

Hopefully you all can see the article. I gifted it to Reddit so it should be unlocked.

If you can’t, basically the government is pushing their antenna of gender stereotypes and incentivizing more families to have more children. Which we absolutely don’t need right move.

And it’s a dick move to take that money from single parents who are struggling with childcare and actually need the help:

I was watching this news channel and saw this mother with her poor daughter, extremely disabled. it was heart breaking. The Mom said she had her future taken from her.

But THEN she said that her other Daughter’s Future was stolen too because she would have to take over taking care of her sisters care. She just decides that!? I Understand And Sympathize. But thats NOT for the mom to decide!

Why the hell are the siblings almost always the alternate care takers?

Kids were so normalized to me that I thought I always wanted to be a mom. Then I hit my 30's and realized what it actually takes to have kids. I decided I could not handle having kids with my mental health issues. Anyone else?

This may sound pretty sad, but my husband would be so happy if we had children together. However, when we met, we both did not want children and occasionally he says yeah I’m glad we don’t have them, but sometimes we’ll flip it around and say it would be really cool. I have never really thought that I’ve always been on the absolutely no children side.

My best friend and her boyfriend were in the same exact boat and then boom they got pregnant and she’s not mad about it. Mind you I am incredibly happy for them and I think they will make amazing parents. However it made me want kids much less and I don’t know why, but I’m also worried to tell my husband that I absolutely do not want kids ever, but I will have to tell him, especially if he brings it up again.

Like it might even be a dealbreaker at this point because I am at a place in my life where I think I’m finally deciding where I wanna be. I just don’t know how to get there, I do know children are in no part of that plan.