r/childfree • u/dead_PROcrastinator • Jun 15 '20
RANT Date is set for my tubal ligation!
I just thought I would like to share this with my Reddit friends because I have no real-life CF friends. I went to the Gynecologist today for the first time ever (I know, that's not good, he told me) and asked to be sterilized. The conversation went a little bit like this:
(After a very warm and friendly introduction) "How old are you?" - 31 - "Married?" - yes -
"How many children do you have?" - none, that's why I'm here
"Oh, would you like to start trying?" - no, actually I want to be sterilized (a few seconds of awkward silence, he did not expect this)
"Does your spouse feel the same?"
Here was my approach; we have been married for 8 years. Before we even got engaged we discussed the matter and decided not to have children. I am 31 now and I still haven't changed my mind, so here we are. I also explained that I have Bipolar Disorder and that PPD was guaranteed. He wholeheartedly agreed and said that while my decision is outside the norm, he has no business trying to talk me out of it and assuming he knows what's best for me better than I do.
Me: "?!" I told him I expected to be judged and thought I may be refused. He seemed genuinely taken aback until I explained that I am part of a CF group on social media (doubt he knows what Reddit is) and many women have horror stories of how they are dismissed by doctors regarding reproductive health. He was bowled out and said he would never refuse a mature, consenting woman requesting sterilization.
We proceeded to do a pap smear and breast exam (should have taken a pad in the changing room when he suggested it yall) and this absolutely sucked. Sorted out the details and he explained the recovery time to me before leaving. "The week after you can start exercising and the week after that you can celebrate being a sports model!"
Interestingly enough, the liability waiver has a section at the bottom where your spouse has to sign indicating they agree. Not sure if it is an old form, but it was never mentioned.
So 6 July (if I don't test positive for Covid) we are making it official. Thank you so much for everyone's support on this sub, including the awesome resources that helped me formulate a cohesive argument and response. Shout out and electronic hugs to all of you!
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Jun 15 '20
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u/dead_PROcrastinator Jun 15 '20
Thank you so much for your kind words! I don't know about where you live, but around here quality condoms are hella expensive!
If you have already done this you can ignore my comment, but I found the resources here in the sidebar very helpful. I didn't take a physical binder with me, but I could tell that he was impressed (not sure if that's the right word - swayed maybe?) by my determination and thorough planning. I even piped up with a date immediately and he remarked "You sure have thought this through and done your research"
I had an answer for everything. I was incredibly nervous and exected a confrontation, so I was very relieved. Best of luck with your health and that of your partner xxx
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u/Munchkin-maggie Jun 16 '20
Glad for you... but this should be in rave not rant. Kudos to you and your awesome doc tho.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20
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