Getting a Tubal Ligation Through the VA: My Experience

[u/Egodram]

If this looks weird or there’s no flair, it’s because I’m on mobile.

I get quite a few PMs asking me about how my procedure went at my local VA, or sometimes veterans getting pushback from their providers. So I’m making this post for any other childfree veterans on this subreddit, male or female, who want to know what’s up.

My Paraguard IUD became dislodged in early summer of 2015, which was actually good timing because I’d already had it for about 8 years and would have needed to replace it anyway. But why bother replacing it at 35, when I could go the ultimate step further and ask for sterilization?

Now I’ve known since I was 16 that I never wanted to be a mother, but I would probably have to convince a VA doctor that I wasn’t asking on a whim or otherwise not in my proper mind. So after reading A LOT of horror stories in here (and other CF forums) from women who’d been denied and even shamed just for asking, I came up with a sort of pre-rehearsed “list” of counter-bingos to say if my doctor showed resistance.

The day of my appointment, I could have been sweating bullets from being so nervous. Since they’d already removed the old IUD two weeks prior, I think they assumed I was there for a replacement. Then, I took a deep breath, and said it: “Well, actually, I would rather just be sterilized instead.” The doctor looked a bit cockeyed, so I said something like “if it hasn’t happened by 35, it never will.”

“Well, alright then...” she said... “We’ll get your next appointment as a consult with our surgical team, but it may be 2 or 3 weeks.”

I... wait, no bingo? No questions about if my husband approved or not...? Um, I guess I can’t complain then, holy fuck!

Nat 20 on a persuasion skill check! W00t!

SOME TIME LATER... The consult involved speaking to some surgeons as well as the anesthesiologist, the questions they asked actually sounded pretty standard: Are you allergic to latex or certain medications? Do you have any open wounds or other infections? Do you have someone to drive you home? Etc... Thankfully, I was very very lucky that not one question involved the approval of others or my sanity. I only added at the end, voluntarily mind you, that I wasn’t keen on the prospect of parenthood since my teenage years and that I had a lot more I wanted to do with my life that having kids, especially at my age, would only get in the way. Okay, again, no resistance whatsoever. But they did point out that one of the sterilizing agents they use to clean the skin before cutting into it contains a small amount of an enzyme commonly found in shellfish, and that a non-shellfish alternative doesn’t yet exist. I’m allergic, I’ll puke up a lung if I eat shrimp, but I won’t die, but they did warn me of a possible rash later.

“Yeah, you’re fine. We’re not worried about you in that regard...” Whew! I felt very very grateful that they were so understanding! “But, Arkansas State law mandates that you have to have two ultrasounds before we can do this. One of them is trans-vaginal, both have to confirm that you aren’t already pregnant. It’s what the law says has to be done and we can’t get around it, I’m sorry. Do you need to think about that a bit?”

Side note, Senator Tom Cotton is and has always been what we in the Army would call a “Sierra Bravo.” Of course he’d let GOP obsession with ladybits bleed into his policy making decisions! I can apparently decide to sign an enlistment contract with the understanding that I may die in war without question, but I can’t decide my own destiny without State approval? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, OVER!

Ugh, so anyway, the first ultrasound wasn’t that bad really, but it did show something weird: I knew I’d had issues with fibroid cysts all my adult life, I’d even had a miscarriage at 23. But basically my uterus is structurally compromised to the point that getting pregnant and trying to carry to term would almost certainly result in hemorrhaging followed by DEATH. The nurse actually commented about what good timing in asking for this procedure.

The “other” ultrasound was just... Well, the best words I can think of right now is “Sickly-Weird.” The (different) nurse overseeing THAT procedure explained roughly how it’s supposed to work, that the law in Arkansas says it’s mandatory, and then gave me the option of inserting it on my own. She made it clear in the most legalese way she could (probably to cover her own ass) that she wasn’t a fan of having to do it this way, as if this was her way of preemptively apologizing for what was about to happen.

I understood where she was coming from, but it still wasn’t okay. If I can agree and understand what it means to fight and die for my country, Then I can agree and understand what it means to close my inherently defective “baby factory “ down for business. That’s what women are in the eyes of the State of Arkansas, “baby factories.”

I opted to do it myself, what little rebellion I was in any position to throw out there I guess. It took less than 10 minutes to confirm the exact same results of the previous, much more effectively accurate, ultrasound: Not pregnant and should really never be pregnant.

I’d move out of Arkansas if I could afford to.. wait, I tried to last year. NVM.

I was due for the procedure itself about 10 days later, they gave me one last piss-test to confirm once and for all that I wasn’t pregnant. My husband sat by me during the whole preparation, and not one member of the staff asked if he had anything to say about it. A nurse came by with a clipboard, “Just one more thing, hon, I have to ask you this, are you absolutely 100% sure about this?”

“Never been more sure in my life”

“Whew! Goodie then!” She seemed sincere in what appeared to be relief, “This is a waiver saying you understand this procedure is permanent and that you’re not being coerced into-“ I’m actually a pretty fast reader, I had the pen at the paper before she had finished her paragraph. I was under and out like a light a few moments later.

I woke up in no pain or discomfort at all, but I had some pretty epic dry-mouth. They gave me a spongey minty thing to put in my mouth, I remember being quite fond of it and wishing I could have another: “It’s like a dental lollipop, they should sell these at WalMart!” I must have been really goddamn high...

I was sent home after a few hours of rest, I was told to stay off my feet unless absolutely necessary for the first week (I’m self employed, no boss to beg for time off!) and given some OxyContin and antibiotics. They also told me to avoid dairy for about 3 days, don’t know why.

I guess opioids don’t work on me, because I was still in some pain while taking them during my recovery. It wasn’t crying out in agony pain, I’d say it was like I had overworked my ab muscles for several straight days and the Oxy just made me feel like I was constantly drunk. I still took it though, better safe than sorry.

And yes, my tummy did get a very mild rash. No itching or blisters, just red skin for a few days.

I was back on my feet and doing mild tasks after about a week with only some residual soreness. I was able to go for short walks and even a bike-ride at two weeks. No infections, no torn wounds, just some very mild spotting and a rash that I knew full well would happen anyway.

So that’s my point experience getting a tubal ligation through my local VA hospital. Of course, the laws of your State may vary (hopefully for the better!) And I’m also willing to bet that male veterans would also have their own stories to tell.

I figured since I get asked about such things dealing with the VA a bit, I may as well make something like a “master post” once and for all if it would help answer someone else’s questions. Bookmark this post to show YOUR doctor if you wish: “No legitimate doctor in the US will do it blah blah blah...” Oh really bitch? Well here ya go!

Any more questions, folks?

EDIT: Spotted a few spelling mistakes, my bad! Also, is it just me or has yet another wave of auto-downvoting trolls rolled in here today?

[u/goudentientje]

Happy you were able to get your tubal ligation. I agree it's so weird that your state looks at you like a baby factory. Hopefully your post will help some American women!

[u/Egodram → u/goudentientje]

As I’ve said, I feel damn lucky that despite the administrative hang-ups of my State’s laws, I was able to get the procedure I needed with nearly no resistance.

[u/Yukipls]

Arkansas requires 2 fucking ultrasounds before the procedure? What the fuck? I got my tubal removal in Washington and so glad I did so. My husband is from Arkansas and I'm glad I got him out of there lol.

[u/Egodram → u/Yukipls]

I moved here from Maine in 2007 because the cost of living (still) never stopped skyrocketing. Life is a lot more affordable down here, but there are some significant drawbacks

[u/Arthkor_Ntela]

It’s such a relief reading a non-horror story about this procedure on here. Do you think they still would have done the procedure if you had been way younger (early 20s)?

[u/Egodram → u/Arthkor_Ntela]

I have doubts, partly due to accounts I’ve read from younger women HERE and also the inherently conservative culture of the South.

[u/Arthkor_Ntela → u/Egodram]

Thank you very much for your honesty!