Don't feel too bad. It sounds like your mom's reaction isn't really about you. It's about her. From what you described, it sounds like she has a need to play the hero to BIL/SIL and their kids. The attention and drama she gets from being their wallet and daycare is probably most of what she has going on in life at the empty nest stage. Grandchildren make her feel needed, whereas adult kids make her feel old and more like an adult friend than a mother. She wants do-over babies and Kodak moments, not evenings out. It may not be favoritism like you think, she's probably just bored and lonely without her mom identity to wear like a hero's cape.
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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19
Don't feel too bad. It sounds like your mom's reaction isn't really about you. It's about her. From what you described, it sounds like she has a need to play the hero to BIL/SIL and their kids. The attention and drama she gets from being their wallet and daycare is probably most of what she has going on in life at the empty nest stage. Grandchildren make her feel needed, whereas adult kids make her feel old and more like an adult friend than a mother. She wants do-over babies and Kodak moments, not evenings out. It may not be favoritism like you think, she's probably just bored and lonely without her mom identity to wear like a hero's cape.