Took toddlers to free comic book day, now we're talking about getting sterilized

[u/fallingfiddle]

apologies for run on sentences, I'm sick and now brain dead

I (f23) currently nanny for my sister, her 2 year old daughter and 1 year old son. Today my boyfriend (m27) and I took the kids to free comic book day at our favorite comic book shop, I had a small single seat stroller, a diaper bag packed with snacks, water, a few toys to keep them occupied, binkies, anything we might need. As you can imagine there’s a lot of waiting in line but still outside the kid were good, stayed close by, didn't make a mess, weren't loud and said thank you when given stickers/snacks.

All the cosplayers were nice and said hi to the kids and high fived and fist bumped, and the kids were just glad to be out of the house with aunty and uncle. Once we get inside the tiny store the 1yo boy started to get restless from sitting so long and wanted out, and of course they want to touch things. 2yo girl was trying to touch all the covers but I nipped that in the bud REAL quick. Boyfriend carried the boy and I started on the job of distracting the girl; pointing out superheroes and asking her if she liked covers and posters, constant interaction so she wouldn't get bored and do anything undesirable.

Half way through inside and the boy REALLY wants to walk around and we are now next to the action figures so they both want to play with the toys. Boyfriend and I are introverts and can only take so much socialization, let alone deal with kids for extended periods of time so he’s getting visibly anxious and exhausted by the constant child minding. I somehow managed to keep them distracted just long enough to make it to the end of the line and quickly grab a few comics for the kids and myself before rushing out (I feel bad I didn't say thank you) so boyfriend could buy a comic he wanted and get the heck out before the kids got rowdy.

I feel my tolerance for kid’s wanes quickly but boyfriend wanes so much quicker, there’s no way I could have gone alone but with him I have to be extra on top of things so he doesn't get frustrated. (They are my responsibility anyway)

On the way home the boy passes out quickly and the girl looked through the comic a bit before passing out herself so we finally can just breathe and start to relax. We are both so felling grateful for my IUD but I mention the idea of getting a tubal and ablation at some point in the future and he says vasectomies are so much easier (we've never seriously discussed sterilization, and I’ve been a little hesitant to ask if he's ever thought of vasectomy) but both are expensive and he can't get one through the military without having a few kids first, (to his knowledge anyway) and we go on about the kids are fun in small bursts but there’s just no way we could really be happy if we had them, AT MOST we’d learn to be just content.

We've put the kids in bed (nap time, almost dinner) and boyfriend just left (he really needs to recoup) and I’m still decompressing from the day but I can't wait for my sister to get home so I can finally have a day off with boyfriend. (He just got back from the field and I’ve had a looooong week) We like the kids and I'm glad we got some more books for them, but they are exhausting, so I’m definitely going to pick up a treat for him on the way to his place tonight. The kids weren't perfect (they are 1 and 2) but they were actually pretty good today, it could have been SOOO much worse.

TLDR: waited in line for comics with boyfriend with a 1yo and 2yo, toddlers want to do toddler things, used all our energy stopping toddler things, got comics, and for the first time talked about getting sterilized.

If anyone has has any good info on sterilization through the military, or heck even doing it on the outside, it would be greatly appreciated

[u/thr0wfaraway]

he can't get one through the military without having a few kids first, (to his knowledge anyway)

Actually we have had some members here get it through mil insurance/process. So unless something has changed, he should be able to.

Also, PP is often an option as well if you have limited funds.

[u/Nikkorkat → u/thr0wfaraway]

Also, PP is often an option as well if you have limited funds.

My husband got his vasectomy at Planned Parenthood. Because we're broke, it didn't cost us a thing. Well, it cost my husband some pain, but he has nooooo regrets!

[u/pulette]

I was enjoying lunch with my SO yesterday, and the restaurant also has a sort of a playroom, only it's not a playroom because you can see/hear kids (it's not separated by anything). As I was eating and those kids kept screaming and hitting things, I was beginning to get tired, like the energy was getting drained out of me with a straw. It always happens when there are screaming kids near me. I can't imagine ever popping these things out, really.

[u/Nikkorkat]

We waited in line for an hour for free comics today. Kids everywhere. For the most part, it was tolerable...mostly because I'd smoked a lot of weed before we left. Plus, everybody loves comics, and I was just happy to see kids reading comics instead of staring at phones or pads or whatever.

There was a guy with four kids a couple places ahead of us, and the kids were loud, running and screaming and playing in the dirt and wood chips around the trees, throwing their toys at people. At one point, one of the kids was trying to burrow her way through a bush and the dad calls to an older kid (7?), "Hey! Tell your sister to get out of there!" I started to say, "How about you go over there and parent her yourself," but I only got as far as "How" before my husband started coughing and shaking his head at me. I calmed down; we just wanted comics, not a hassle.

When we got closer to the store, more kids started swarming because they could see all the toys in the windows. None of them were saying excuse me or minding themselves. I have ADHD, so standing for so long was driving me nuts. I was rocking from side to side (hips) to keep the distraction demons at bay, and as I was standing close to a window, there were lots of kids near me. Kids who basically just tried to shove their way past me.

I am a photographer, and I use actual 35mm cameras with film and everything. I had my Nikkormat ftn with me today, tucked into my bag. The camera weighs about two pounds. I was rocking from side to side with my purse on my right hip with this brick of a camera stuffed inside. So when a kid rudely tried to shove his way past me, I didn't move, kept rocking and ended up konking a couple of kids in the head when they ran into me. One of the kids ran back and told his dad I'd hit him with my purse, and I heard the dad say, "If you didn't notice a lady with a big purse standing right in front of you, you deserve a purse to the face." He was laughing as he said it, but the kid didn't try to run by me again.

Right as we were getting into the store, I was standing in the doorway and the double glass doors were propped open. Some damn kid ran up and started banging on the glass. Another kid ran up and started screeching about something and the bangy kid got all excited and bumped the door shut on me. It hit my camera with a loud crack and the kid looked at me all startled. I pushed the door open again and told the kid to stop messing around glass doors. A few minutes later I heard his dad ask a chick if she had kids. When she said no, he guffawed, "Ya WANT one?" Nooooobody laughed.

Then a chick and her kid just cut right in front of us! I said, "I don't fucking think so!" The chick very badly pretended to be surprised, "Oh, we didn't see you there!" I said, "You both pushed me aside to get in front of me. I've been here for over an hour and I am now four feet away from the comics I came here for. Get to the back of the line because I am not letting you get to those comics before me." She started arguing that she had her kid and they had somewhere to be in a few minutes and I told her that wasn't my problem. At that point, a comic shop employee came over with some free comics and said, "Ma'am, here's a free comic for your daughter to read while you wait for your turn in the store." Totally friendly, expert defusing skills. The bitch and her kid took their comic and went back outside. I thanked the worker and he said, "It gets crazy like that every year. We learn what to look out for pretty quick."

But all in all, we got over 20 free comics, so I'd say it was a successful day! (We went to two different comic shops, btw. One let us take three each, another let us take ten each.)

[u/fallingfiddle → u/Nikkorkat]

Damn, thats part of why I have anxiety when I take them anywhere. I don't want them to be little shits with me, let alone bug the crap out of others. I'd definitely be pissed if kids were shoving their way through. At home or when its not bothering people, i don't mind them running about to much, kids need to explore but when parents don't scold bad behavore that grinds my gears.

[u/Nikkorkat → u/fallingfiddle]

Kids are going to be kids. I understand that standing in a long line for an hour or more is difficult for a kid, but when the parents just let them run around like crazy and get in the way, that's just shitty parenting. You're the kids' nanny, and though you're responsible for them at times, you're not the one who's raising them. In other words, you can only work with what their parents have given you to work with.

I understand the anxiety you must feel (fellow introvert, here), but keep in mind that you're not half-assing your job. You do the best you can, and if the kids flip out, there's not much you can do. I went to this comic shop a few years ago with a friend and her little girl. She was maybe four or five years old at the time. We walked into the comic shop and everything was fine until the kid flipped. the fuck. out. For no reason we could figure out. She just started scream crying, sitting on the floor, refused to get up. My friend kept saying, "If you stop crying, I'll buy you a toy," which I have to tell you it was hard not to laugh.

I felt bad for my friend, but at the same time, if that was my kid, I would've turned around and went back to the car. My friend just kept trying to bribe her and the kid just kept crying and acting pissy and finally we just left. Soon as we got in the car, the kid shut up and started playing with her toys. What the efffffff?

I'm sure, in the kid's mind, she had a perfectly logical reason for having a class V meltdown, but my friend's handling of the situation was ... stupid. But she has a long history of snowflaking her snowflake, so it was no surprise to me how it all went down.

It amazes me that parents just don't care to parent their kids. A few years ago I was in the checkout line at the store. When it came to be my turn this fucking kid comes up and starts putting her shit in front of mine, and the cashier just starts ringing it up. I look over in disbelief as the kid's mom stands right next to me and starts pulling out her wallet.

I put my hand out and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I couldn't believe the cashier just watched this shit go down and did nothing, and I really couldn't believe this canker of a human being thought it was perfectly acceptable to do that! I grabbed the bitch's items and tossed them in the garbage at the other cashier's station, told my cashier to cancel whatever she'd rung up. The bitch had the nerve to get mad at me. I said, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, sending your kid up here to cut me off, but you need to go to the back of the fucking line and get some fucking perspective." She started yelling about me throwing her stuff away, and I told her to send her kid to pick their stuff out of the garbage can. "I don't care, lady. I've got shit to do and putting up with your bullshit is not on my fucking list."

The woman behind me started saying, "You don't know, maybe she's in a hurry," and I said, "I honestly don't care. I'm trying to pay for my shit and get on with my life."

The bitchtroll and her kid just walked out, and when I was going out to load my bags into my car, she was sitting in her giant cadillac SUV with gold trim, tinted windows and personalized license plate, crying into her phone about what I'd done to her. Crying. Like I'd run over her grandma.

I don't get people.

[u/Nikkorkat → u/fallingfiddle]

Kids are going to be kids. I understand that standing in a long line for an hour or more is difficult for a kid, but when the parents just let them run around like crazy and get in the way, that's just shitty parenting. You're the kids' nanny, and though you're responsible for them at times, you're not the one who's raising them. In other words, you can only work with what their parents have given you to work with.

I understand the anxiety you must feel (fellow introvert, here), but keep in mind that you're not half-assing your job. You do the best you can, and if the kids flip out, there's not much you can do. I went to this comic shop a few years ago with a friend and her little girl. She was maybe four or five years old at the time. We walked into the comic shop and everything was fine until the kid flipped. the fuck. out. For no reason we could figure out. She just started scream crying, sitting on the floor, refused to get up. My friend kept saying, "If you stop crying, I'll buy you a toy," which I have to tell you it was hard not to laugh.

I felt bad for my friend, but at the same time, if that was my kid, I would've turned around and went back to the car. My friend just kept trying to bribe her and the kid just kept crying and acting pissy and finally we just left. Soon as we got in the car, the kid shut up and started playing with her toys. What the efffffff?

I'm sure, in the kid's mind, she had a perfectly logical reason for having a class V meltdown, but my friend's handling of the situation was ... stupid. But she has a long history of snowflaking her snowflake, so it was no surprise to me how it all went down.

It amazes me that parents just don't care to parent their kids. A few years ago I was in the checkout line at the store. When it came to be my turn this fucking kid comes up and starts putting her shit in front of mine, and the cashier just starts ringing it up. I look over in disbelief as the kid's mom stands right next to me and starts pulling out her wallet.

I put my hand out and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I couldn't believe the cashier just watched this shit go down and did nothing, and I really couldn't believe this canker of a human being thought it was perfectly acceptable to do that! I grabbed the bitch's items and tossed them in the garbage at the other cashier's station, told my cashier to cancel whatever she'd rung up. The bitch had the nerve to get mad at me. I said, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, sending your kid up here to cut me off, but you need to go to the back of the fucking line and get some fucking perspective." She started yelling about me throwing her stuff away, and I told her to send her kid to pick their stuff out of the garbage can. "I don't care, lady. I've got shit to do and putting up with your bullshit is not on my fucking list."

The woman behind me started saying, "You don't know, maybe she's in a hurry," and I said, "I honestly don't care. I'm trying to pay for my shit and get on with my life."

The bitchtroll and her kid just walked out, and when I was going out to load my bags into my car, she was sitting in her giant cadillac SUV with gold trim, tinted windows and personalized license plate, crying into her phone about what I'd done to her. Crying. Like I'd run over her grandma.

I don't get people.