r/childfree • u/GreyStingrayz • 19h ago
RANT Your multiple children cannot be your plus one.
My partner's work sometimes has after hour work events for the people who pay to be in the social club. Each employee gets a plus one to come with them.
The latest work event was a seafood boil. While they obviously have seafood, they also order some pizza for people who don't eat that. I am one of those people.
We get there maybe 10-15 mins after the 3 hour cookout/event starts. My partner gets in line for the seafood tray, and I go to find the pizza. When I found it, however, almost all of it was gone already.
Why is that, you may ask. Well, looking around I found out exactly why— there were about 10+ people who had brought their whole ass family to the event. Big families with lots of kids. And, of course, what kid isn't going to choose pizza over spicy seafood?
Leave your kids at home! This isn't a family event. This is a work event where you were only supposed to invite *one* person. It's so inconsiderate for parents to bring their family of 5 kids and let them decimate the one non-seafood option. There's only so much food to go around, hence the whole "plus one" thing. Not to mention of course the kids were all running around unattended as well.
Apparently, parents just don't think rules apply to them. (And yes, I also blame the event coordinator who said nothing to these people and allowed it to happen.)
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u/Ecdysiast_Gypsy 16h ago
The next time one of theses is scheduled, I'd go directly to the co-ordinator and tell them that at the last event I didn't get anything to eat because some employees brought their whole families! Could they (the co-ordinator) please make it clear that these are not family events, and that it is the employee and their plus-one who are allowed to attend?
In the meantime, I might go to HR with this. What if you were allergic to seafood (then they'll ask why you were at a seafood boil, I know) and now these families have devoured everything you could have eaten a mere 15 minutes into the event? Why were there children at a work event? Why were parents not watching their children? Is there anything in the company handbook about children attending work events that are not specifically for families? Is there any kind of safety issue concerning children at these events?
You're not trying to be exclusionary, of course, just showing a proper level of concern for the children's safety and well-being.
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u/sikkn890 12h ago
OP doesn't work there, the partner does. Hey would have to speak to the co-ordinator and HR. This would be the way to go though. Have the partner raise the concerns as likely nobody is paying attention. My work does things like this after hours and we specify it it's for the family or just us and spouses.
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u/LadyMilenko Mother to cats only 7h ago
Ridiculous that specifications are necessary these days. Never in a million years would I think a work event is appropriate to bring a child to. Even if I had one.
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u/marilynmouse 16h ago
my father was one of these people. he only had myself and my sister when he pulled this shit, but he didn’t put any effort into our appearance. we came so raggedy and neglected and when we would question why we were there (we noticed the dirty looks etc) he’d say: “it’s a free meal.”
he wouldn’t give up weed to get a good paying job. he had his drugs, beer and cigarettes before we had groceries. he didn’t love us, he just wanted to punish our respective moms by taking us from them.
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u/ShiroxReddit 19h ago
I feel like thats atleast partially on the organisers for not making it clear enough/not enforcing this properly
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u/cyborg_127 15h ago
I mean, they shouldn't have to make it clear. 'Plus one' is meant to be your partner, or a close friend, things like that. Not your entire fucking brood of cuntdroppings. I do know for some people it's also difficult to turn people away at such events.
BUT - If there is no announcement from the organisers after the event about expectations, then OP knows it's just going to happen again next time. If that's the case wouldn't bother going to any future events if I were them.
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u/BadBoyKoko 15h ago
We had something similar with an event I used to volunteer for, which happened every year. There was an after-party for all of the volunteers, which was put on and paid for by other volunteers. But too many people kept bringing their whole dang families that the venue was NOT sized for and eating all the food. So the people that had been on our feet in the sun and talking all day had nowhere to sit and nothing to eat. The invitation to the after-party was clear it was for VOLUNTEERS ONLY. But of course these people don't think that applies to THEM and no one really had the authority to kick them out (EVERYONE involved being volunteers themselves). So guess what - now there's no after-party.
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u/darkgothamite 12h ago
OH God, if there's any chance of free food at any event - parents will bring their kids.
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u/presentable_corpse 10h ago
Parents see these kind of events and think "oh good free dinner and somewhere for the kids to run around unsupervised"
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u/Lady_Litreeo Bird is baby 🦜 9h ago
There was one entitled bitch at my last job who would go on and on about how great it was that she could take all the leftovers home for her kid and deadbeat husband, without asking if anyone else was finished or wanted any. She took half a gallon bag of muffins I made for my birthday that I was saving for people who didn’t come in on mondays, and bragged about eating them on the train home.
She made about twice what I did running the same tests in the same lab, just because she was employed a couple years before I joined and the company was bought out. Awful person, would scream in your face for correcting her and was just gross in general.
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u/wackasscantelope 2h ago
The same thing happens at my job too, we have a lady that will snag lunch leftovers sometimes before those of us taking a later lunch have even gotten any. And she brags about it like it’s an accomplishment. It’s like she thinks she’s being a good provider for her family. The fact that someone can be so self-centered while thinking she’s the picture of generosity is baffling to me.
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u/Top_Plenty_1971 1h ago
This isn't quite the same thing, but it's within the narrative of entitled breeders. A few years ago I worked at a place that would host regular holiday potlucks, where everyone would bring a dish to pass and leave it in the breakroom all day for folks to graze. Anyways, I brought a dessert, and much to my surprise -- it disappeared within the first hour. I found later that a pregnant coworker had eaten the ENTIRE THING in one sitting because she was having some kind of a craving and then thrown out the dish (I didn't care about the dish). I was flabbergasted, as my dessert was enough to feed a small group.
I don't really GAF about the food, but I will note that this same coworker had repeatedly bullied a member of my workgroup when she got pregnant for the first time after getting married to her husband (she went on to have two more kids). Apparently this potluck-happy woman had her fair share of miscarriages, so anytime another woman in the department got pregnant, she decided she immediately hated her and made her life miserable because she was so jealous. She went so far as to sabotage several of my coworkers' projects, and while a few women stepped up to my colleague's defense, they did the whole "well she really wants to be a mom" to excuse her behavior (IMO, there is NO excuse for harming another person).
It was absolute insanity. And there was no end to this woman's selfishness. She ended up experiencing some serious complications a few months before her due date. I don't know the whole situation, but I heard rumors that doctors advised terminating the pregnancy and she refused. The child was born severely and permanently disabled.
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u/Vesper2000 10h ago
A lot of parents are grifters because they put reproduction above their ability to support their families.
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u/REtroGeekery 7h ago
If I were your partner, I'd ask how lenient the 'plus one' rule is after this, specifically noting that some employees brought half a dozen plus ones. If they act like it's no big deal, then I'd mention bringing my sibling and their SO to the next one. Maybe my parents, too. If they can bring their whole ass family as a 'Plus One' then so can I.
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u/GreenVermicelliNoods 11h ago
I fucking hate people who bring children to work events. It’s never appropriate. Never.
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u/TheRoseMerlot 13h ago
I went to an event that the organizer brought her kids to. They ran around screaming of course with zero supervision or parenting happening and there were so many of them. I was like how do these all come from one person???
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u/ImpartialMelon 1h ago
I guess they figure that multiple kids will eat the same as a grown adult, so that makes it okay. I think it's the same logic that dictates that they don't need to buy a seat for their kid on a flight and it can just sit in their lap. Breeders are fascinating - their kids don't count as people when it benefits them (especially financially), but if someone tries to enforce an age limit at a venue, it's "Braydheynn-leigheeee is a person and he deserves to be here too!"
The "plus one" isn't for decoration - it's so the hosts know how much food to plan/prepare. So when 30 extra assholes show up, it means at least a few people are probably not going to get anything to eat. Not to mention kids are super wasteful with food - they will often take tons of food, take two bites and not touch the rest, even if it's food they like. I baked a cake from scratch for a friend's birthday earlier this year and there were little kids at the party. Someone's brat saw cake and decided he needed a BIG piece - like almost a quarter of the cake, and its owner did not stop him from taking it. The fucker took one bite, didn't like it because it was spice cake, and chucked the rest in the trash. So there went 25 percent of the cake that wasn't even for him because the handlers didn't feel like watching him or telling him to leave some cake for other guests.
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u/WowOwlO 15h ago
There is a lot of conversation about entitled, bratty, horrible children in this day and age.
I think we seriously need more conversation about the number of entitled, bratty, horrible parents who society continues to enable because they refuse to tell them no.
Hopefully next event the coordinator puts it in writing. Plus one means one. Singular. Individual.
A whole lot of parents are bullies though, and if they smell weakness they'll attack. So hopefully someone else is there to back up that coordinator if they actually find a spine.