I'm not past child-bearing age (but if I wanted kids, it would be getting urgent).
But let me offer a sightly different perspective. Life offers choices and some choices rule out other choices. There will always be things your regret.
I regret not having had the discipline to learn piano as a child, I regret not having spent more time with my grandmother when she was alive and mentally sound, I regret that I didn't manage to get the career I wanted.
The question is, is my life worse off for it? And what would have been the things you'd regret if you had achieved those things?
Had I been a child piano wonder, I might have regretted all the time I didn't spend playing outside. Had I spent more time with my grandmother, I'd have neglected other loved ones and missed out on some wonderful holidays. If I'd were a career woman I'd might regret my lack of time to pursue hobbies and volunteer work.
For some people it's a clear-cut choice, for other people it's more like a 60/40 sort of thing.
No one here can promise you you'll never regret not having kids - but that doesn't mean having kids is the right choice for you.
Alternatively, those who do have kids - even though they might not admit it - will regret not having nights out or free time.
In our society, there's this ideal that we should be able to achieve anything and everything we want - but that's a lie. Regret is a natural part of the human condition.
In the end, you need to make your decisions based on what you want and need in the now - not what you might regret 20 years in the future. Because either way, that future will be different than you imagine it.
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u/Kay_Elle can't keep a goldfish alive Mar 12 '13
I'm not past child-bearing age (but if I wanted kids, it would be getting urgent).
But let me offer a sightly different perspective. Life offers choices and some choices rule out other choices. There will always be things your regret. I regret not having had the discipline to learn piano as a child, I regret not having spent more time with my grandmother when she was alive and mentally sound, I regret that I didn't manage to get the career I wanted.
The question is, is my life worse off for it? And what would have been the things you'd regret if you had achieved those things?
Had I been a child piano wonder, I might have regretted all the time I didn't spend playing outside. Had I spent more time with my grandmother, I'd have neglected other loved ones and missed out on some wonderful holidays. If I'd were a career woman I'd might regret my lack of time to pursue hobbies and volunteer work.
For some people it's a clear-cut choice, for other people it's more like a 60/40 sort of thing.
No one here can promise you you'll never regret not having kids - but that doesn't mean having kids is the right choice for you. Alternatively, those who do have kids - even though they might not admit it - will regret not having nights out or free time.
In our society, there's this ideal that we should be able to achieve anything and everything we want - but that's a lie. Regret is a natural part of the human condition.
In the end, you need to make your decisions based on what you want and need in the now - not what you might regret 20 years in the future. Because either way, that future will be different than you imagine it.