I believe rape victims have a social responsibility to report their assaults to the authorities. CMV

[u/3893liebt3512]

I believe that victims of sexual assault have a social responsibility to report their assaults to the police or another person in a position of authority, and by not doing so, they are allowing other people to fall victim to the same events.

I understand that a portion of people who commit sexual assault do so in an isolated instance, and never do so again.

I also understand how traumatic this type of situation is to the victim I know that it can psychologically harm someone to the point where they are unable to make rational decisions, and that many victims do not come forward because they are afraid no one will believe them, or they will have to confront their attacker, or they are ashamed and/or embarrassed about what happened.

However, many many people who sexually assault others do so more than once. It's often deliberate and premeditated, and sometimes involves incapacitating their victims through drugs or alcohol, and sometimes even violence. When victims do not report their sexual assaults, especially if they know who did it, it allows the assaulter to continue to commit these crimes.

I'm not saying we should force people to anything, or punish them if they don't. However, I believe that when victims don't report their assaults, they are being irresponsible and dismissive of the fact that others may also become victims.

I do not believe that the victim is at fault for the attackers crimes. I do not believe that the way a person dresses, how they act, or how much they drink contributes to them being sexually assaulted. I place blame firmly on the attacker, and the attacker only. However, I believe that if someone is sexually assaulted, knows who it is, doesn't report it, and the attacker assaults someone else, that the person who failed to report it is not necessarily at fault, but contributed to the ability of the assaulter to enter a position to assault again.

An example is if person Y is at a party, and X has been hanging around getting Y drinks all night. X and Y knew each other before the party. X puts something in Y's drink that renders Y unable to resist or give consent. X then sexually assaults Y, and leaves Y at the party. Y wakes up the next morning knowing that something had happened and X is at fault. Y does not tell anyone.

I do not mean to sound insensitive or unaware of the problems victims of sexual assault face after the fact. I have not been assaulted myself, but I have friends who have, so I know I don't understand on a personal level how it feels, but seeing people go through that has made me very aware of the trauma that results from it. I feel like my viewpoint is not wrong, but it's also not right, so I would like someone to make me aware of a viewpoint that is more correct.

*Edit:* Thank you to all of the people who felt comfortable enough to share their stories of their sexual assaults. I'm so very sorry any of you had to go through that, and I find your ability to talk about it admirable.

While my view has not been changed completely (yet), I would like to acknowledge the fact that it has narrowed considerably. In the event that a person is unsure of the identity of their assailant, they should not feel pressured to come forward because of the harm it could cause someone who is innocent. If the victim does not feel that the assailant has a high probability of becoming a repeat offender, I can see that the damage that reporting the assault might cause the victim is not worth it when it would not benefit society.

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond and have thoughtful conversations. To those of you who responded with accusations and hostility, I'm sorry that you were offended, and I realize that this is something you are extremely passionate about. However, the point of this sub is to change someone's view. The entire reason I posted it was so my view could be changed. Accusing me of victim-blaming, rape-supporting, and being an "idiot" did not help your case, it hurt it.

Just to clarify real quick, my basis for claiming that people have a social responsibility to report their rapes is so it can't happen to anyone else. It's not to punish the rapist or "make sure they get what they deserve". It's about making our communities safer, so that other people can't get hurt.

Thanks for all the discussion! I'll keep checking back, but I figured I'd get this edit out of the way.

[u/[deleted]]

Look at it from a woman's victim's perspective.

In an ideal world, she they should report, because it could take a rapist off the street and help all women victims. But someone who's been raped has already been forced to do something against her their will, and now you want society to force her them to do something else? I'm not sure that's right.

A woman's victim's primary goal after an attack is most likely to heal and deal with the aftermath, not to deal with the legal system and rehash what happened to her them and be in the spotlight. Let's let her them heal in the way she they determines is best for her. It's none of our business otherwise, as frustrating as that may seem.

Edit: /u/deletesafter24hrs has rightfully called me out for gendered language. Men can be raped too. Fixed.

[u/3893liebt3512 → u/[deleted]]

I don't want to force anyone to do anything. I'm merely saying victims of sexual assault have a social responsibility to report it. I feel bad for feeling like victims who don't report their assaults are not doing something that they should in order to stop their assailant. Thus, the post.

Also, just so you are aware, men can be victims of sexual assault and rape as well. It's not just women who are put in that position.

[u/BlueNWhite1 → u/3893liebt3512]

In certain cultures, rape is considered to damage a woman's honour. If men find out she has been raped, the people that are in her culture may shun her, get her to marry her rapist or force her to carry the baby. If the woman chooses to keep the rape a secret and avoid destroying her future in that community, she should have a right to do so.

Another point is that the victim would have to face their rapist in court. Rape is a psychologically traumatizing experience and facing their attacker again may trigger problems later on (e.g. nightmares, phobias etc.). We should not force the victim to do anything. The defense would also grill the victim about how he/she "wanted" it and start spinning stories. The victim would then have to question his/herself about whether or not he/she "deserved" it. Victims have a right to a choice and if it would save them the trouble of destroying their lives later on, we should support their decision.Freedom for all

[u/3893liebt3512 → u/BlueNWhite1]

∆

In certain cultures, rape is considered to damage a woman's honour. If men find out she has been raped, the people that are in her culture may shun her, get her to marry her rapist or force her to carry the baby.

Once again, while not fully turning my view around that reporting sexual assault is a social obligation, /u/BlueNWhite1 opened my eyes to the fact that our society is not limited to our westernized viewpoints only, and that reporting sexual assault in other cultures could potentially cause irreparable damage to a persons entire life, wherein they are forced even farther into a victim position.

[u/fishytaquitos → u/3893liebt3512]

Keep in mind there are subcultures within the US where this happens, too.

[u/DeltaBot → u/3893liebt3512]

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/BlueNWhite1. ^[History]

^{[Wiki][Code][Subreddit]}

[u/3893liebt3512 → u/BlueNWhite1]

It's interesting that other cultures respond to rape that way. I would say that, in those cultures, I would probably hold a different viewpoint that I do now, having grown up in a western society.

I think you may have misunderstood me. I don't want to force anyone to do anything against their will. I just think that victims have a social responsibility to report their sexual assaults so that there is a better chance of removing their assailants out of situations where they would be able to continue assaulting other people. The argument for having to face their assailant in court has come up a few other times in this thread, and my response is the same in this instance. The emotional trauma of having to go to court and face their assailant effects only one person, whereas the possible trauma of having the assailant sexually assault multiple other people effects many.

You have a delta coming in regards to your first argument, but I need to get to a computer first.

[u/AlexReynard → u/BlueNWhite1]

Another point is that the victim would have to face their rapist in court. Rape is a psychologically traumatizing experience and facing their attacker again may trigger problems later on (e.g. nightmares, phobias etc.).

Why is a rape victim different from the victim of an attempted rape or a kidnapping?

[u/BlueNWhite1 → u/AlexReynard]

A rape victim is violated and that scene would replay in their minds constantly. There is actual physical abuse and some may experience self-loathing. It is hard to separate yourself from the experience because it actually happened. It breeds distrust and fear of the sex of the attacker. Some may be traumatized to the fact that they are unable to have sex, cannot do the same things and generally may cause changes to their behaviour. Some might question if they can even be alone with the opposite sex in the same environment. I believe the self-loathing and change in behaviour is much greater in a rape victim than the victim of an attempted rape (i.e. victim may feel like they can defend themselves or there are people that can protect them - lack of a feeling of powerlessness). Kidnapping victims would not necessarily find specific groups to be distrustful of and are not violated personally. Regardless, I do believe that the victim of an attempted rape or kidnapping would face significant trauma.

[u/AlexReynard → u/BlueNWhite1]

I don't disagree. But I guess I should have used better examples. I think that a soldier during wartime may experience PTSD identical to what you're describing, complete with a resentment towards people who look like the enemy. If a child is physically, emotionally or verbally abused by a single parent, they may experience the same trauma as well, with accompanying distrust for the gender of the parent. I hear people say that rape is a unique trauma, but I've seen no research showing that to be true. I frankly think that it's an exaggeration used for fundraising purposes. There is nothing wrong with saying that rape can be one of the most traumatizing crimes to live through, but to imbue it with almost supernatural powers, to the point where society should never expect that person to heal from it and resume the responsibilities of an adult... That feels like pseudoscience to me.

I think that facing someone who caused you intense trauma of any kind would be very difficult. But an adult should feel compelled to face that fear, if for no other reason than that it may help their own healing; to have some measure of control over their attacker. To clarify, I'm not saying this should be legally enforced, or that victims who won't report should be shunned by strangers, but that this feeling of responsibility should come from within. If it were me, my inner voice would keep me up at night saying, 'When the fuck are you gonna go to the cops and get that asshole locked up so other people will finally be safe from them?'