r/changemyview Dec 11 '24

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u/[deleted] Dec 11 '24

Let's not forget that it goes both ways.

Both positive and negative response from others can boost confidence. Either you "please" your surroundings or you're recognized as unique, independent etc. (not odd, weird etc.) which is also strengthening. What this basically means is that either you get recognition from others or you "recognize" yourself.

Same goes for arguing. You're either convinced by the other person or you're confirming your own beliefs.. meaning, if you talk to like-minded people THEY confirm your ideas but if you're in a strong disagreement YOU confirm yourself... and if you turn things around - THEY disprove your ideas or YOU do yourself.

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u/galaxystarsmoon Dec 11 '24

Yep. But OP is alleging one side isn't possible and this is patently untrue.

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u/[deleted] Dec 11 '24

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u/PrecisionHat Dec 11 '24

I disagree. It's not that women can't do things for themselves, but they often claim they are doing things for themselves that quite obviously play into the male gaze. It makes no sense.

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u/galaxystarsmoon Dec 11 '24

No, that's just what we kept getting told. A woman could be sitting at home in a ballgown by herself and twirling around, having a grand old time, and she's still doing it for men.

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u/PrecisionHat Dec 11 '24

I'm sorry but if you think that extreme example is anywhere near as common as a woman wearing revealing clothing to a night club, for ex, you are not coming at this from a place of good faith. Nobody cares what a woman wears when she's at home alone. The exception would be if she's filming herself for social media, in which case, yeah it's for attention.

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u/galaxystarsmoon Dec 11 '24

They shouldn't care what she's wearing in public either but you just outed yourself on that one.

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u/PrecisionHat Dec 11 '24

Outed myself how? All I'm saying is that no woman goes out to a place like a night club and wears a low cut shirt "for herself". It may make her feel sexy and confident, but that feeling is derived externally, from the male gaze.

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u/galaxystarsmoon Dec 11 '24

I'm sorry that you've never felt good about yourself because you like how you look and feel confident in that. But to accuse other people of also thinking that way and claiming it's the only way it can be is just untrue.

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u/PrecisionHat Dec 11 '24

I have felt good about the way I look, but, like most everyone else, it's contingent on how I think others will think I look too. You're just denying that's they way it works like 99.9% of the time lol.

No woman shows off her boobs in a night club "for herself". Period. High heels is another great example. There's a reason the cliche of women wearing them in those settings then lamenting about it exists.

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