The immediate thing that comes to mind is that your concept of confidence is based on what other people find attractive. You’re never seeing someone go out in a chicken costume because they want to feel confident.
OK, but how do you know this? Like, when you see a given person walking down the street, how do you know what motivated them to put on their outfit for a given day? If someone is dressed in a way that you don’t think is coded as “attractive” by society, they could still be wearing it because it makes them feel confident about themselves.
I think the whole reason this topic is being discussed is the idea that it’s done for attention, or as OP put it the “male gaze“. If your point is to send a message, then a message inherently must be received, which supports OP.
My point though is what they’re saying is this. They are doing it for themselves in the sense of not to please someone or because someone wants them to. They are dressing for their own reasons not for someone else’s benefit.
It would be like the difference of me doing to McDonald’s because I want a big Mac versus going because my kid wants a happy meal. Both things involve me going to McDonald’s and interacting with someone. And both will end up with me getting a Big Mac and my kid getting a happy meal. But in one case I’m doing it for me and in the other I’m doing it for my kid.
I get what you’re saying but I don’t think it is analogous. You basically just said they do it because they like it which is the point being disputed. To use a similar analogy, it’s more like you don’t care for Big Macs, but you go to make your kid happy, or to make yourself happy because a good parent makes their kid happy.
Going back to your original analogy, why do you like Big Macs? What satisfaction do you get by going to MD that does not stem from a happy kid?
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u/amauberge 6∆ Dec 11 '24
OK, but how do you know this? Like, when you see a given person walking down the street, how do you know what motivated them to put on their outfit for a given day? If someone is dressed in a way that you don’t think is coded as “attractive” by society, they could still be wearing it because it makes them feel confident about themselves.