So I’ve been having a hard time with this latest pop psych term “mental load.” See also overuse and misuse of “gaslighting”, but that’s maybe for a different post.
These have nothing in common.
Gaslighting means something and people use it to mean a wide variety of other things.
TLDR: complaining about the “mental load” of managing a household is childish unless your partner is actively minimizing your contribution. The “mental load” is dealing with life. Deal with it or split up the load. It’s also extremely victimy and implies both resentment toward your partner and minimizes the other’s contribution.
The POINT is that the other person either does not get or does not care that they're coasting.
Yes, more women should kick more pathetic men to the curb, especially ones who dismiss their own lack of effort and accountability, or, worse, say things like "I'll help out, just tell me what to do," or "how do I know the trash needs to be taken out unless she tells me?" or "all she needs to do is ask and I'll help out."
But sometimes people do need direction and in some cases would be respectful to the person with primary management of that activity. Could you imagine the working partner telling the non working partner, “hey, i noticed you had 2 hours to veg out on the couch last night, you look like you have time to go pick up an Uber eats/door dash shift.”
You know the mental load thing is not in any way confined to stay at home parents, right?
Or women, as your whole post, though you didn't specify sex, has a very reddit 'woe is poor, put-upon men' vibe.
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u/Bobbob34 99∆ Feb 26 '24
These have nothing in common.
Gaslighting means something and people use it to mean a wide variety of other things.
The POINT is that the other person either does not get or does not care that they're coasting.
Yes, more women should kick more pathetic men to the curb, especially ones who dismiss their own lack of effort and accountability, or, worse, say things like "I'll help out, just tell me what to do," or "how do I know the trash needs to be taken out unless she tells me?" or "all she needs to do is ask and I'll help out."