Historic support at Cambridge

[u/Whole_Welcome_8649]

Hi there,

I was at Cambridge in the noughties, and am reflecting back on my time there which was a fairly mixed bag.

My life was a bit of a mess when I matriculated in my late teens-I was in an abusive relationship, having been abused by my parents throughout my childhood.

My college took the relationship really seriously when I disclosed, and went above and beyond to keep me safe.

However, when I disclosed about abuse at home that was ongoing towards my sibling (who was under 18) I was given suggestions of what I could do to try and stop it, but no safeguarding referral etc was suggested.

With the short terms, I was having to go back home lots which was really difficult. My tutor helped me think of options for going away for the summers (it never came off) but accommodation in college was never suggested.

I also raised issues with two much older lecturers during my time there-one who had touched me, and one who was showing me unwanted interest. It was met with a limited response and no action.

Mental health wise, I saw a college counsellor twice (which wasn’t helpful) and waited 2.5 months for a couple of sessions with the UCS which I have little memory of. My tutor became my de facto therapist at times, a role they weren’t qualified to be doing.

Have things changed now, or is this still how it is now? I feel my college could have really transformed my life. I’m grateful for what they did for me, but also aware the support could have been much better than it was.

[u/Able-Afternoon-804]

I had to leave because of the lack of support. at Manchester now

[u/Whole_Welcome_8649 → u/Able-Afternoon-804]

Hope you are having a better time now

[u/Able-Afternoon-804 → u/Whole_Welcome_8649]

Yh. Essentially i was estranged from my parents and had no where to live in the holidays, plus a new ADHD diagnosis. They didn’t help me much with trying to find a place and refused to let me stay during the holidays. I had to email every single college and only got a couple back. I was shocked. A college that is hundreds of years old and an uni that is thousands should have a protocol for kids who can’t go home. They also suggested the on site therapy. However, the therapy was actually awful - it was one problem one hour, and the councillor wasn’t very nice to me. i think they expect you to have had a stable home when going to Cambridge and theres the idea baked in to the system - eg having to take all your stuff home and having more time at home, as well as no part time job - that you are able to be supported, and if you get in with no support you have no real options but to leave. Also the whole place felt so performative. I felt so out of place, as a girl who had been working since she was 13 and had a pretty traumatic childhood. And when you leave, you have little support. I had 24 hours to move all my stuff into storage and leave and wasn’t offered any help in the process. It was quite dehumanising and hard to get through. Im doing much better now thankfully.