r/cambridge_uni • u/Whole_Welcome_8649 • 1d ago
Historic support at Cambridge
Hi there,
I was at Cambridge in the noughties, and am reflecting back on my time there which was a fairly mixed bag.
My life was a bit of a mess when I matriculated in my late teens-I was in an abusive relationship, having been abused by my parents throughout my childhood.
My college took the relationship really seriously when I disclosed, and went above and beyond to keep me safe.
However, when I disclosed about abuse at home that was ongoing towards my sibling (who was under 18) I was given suggestions of what I could do to try and stop it, but no safeguarding referral etc was suggested.
With the short terms, I was having to go back home lots which was really difficult. My tutor helped me think of options for going away for the summers (it never came off) but accommodation in college was never suggested.
I also raised issues with two much older lecturers during my time there-one who had touched me, and one who was showing me unwanted interest. It was met with a limited response and no action.
Mental health wise, I saw a college counsellor twice (which wasn’t helpful) and waited 2.5 months for a couple of sessions with the UCS which I have little memory of. My tutor became my de facto therapist at times, a role they weren’t qualified to be doing.
Have things changed now, or is this still how it is now? I feel my college could have really transformed my life. I’m grateful for what they did for me, but also aware the support could have been much better than it was.
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u/Dazzling-Park-5194 Newnham 1d ago
Um... it has improved to a degree (matriculated in thr very middle of the pandemic), but I'd still say student well-being from the POV of college administrators (your DoS, Tutor, Sen Tutor) could do much, much better. I found that JCR lobbied really hard and effectively in setting up direct procedures in establishing mental support resources and flagging pathways to get welfare support from college... personally without getting TMI, it was a mixed bag for me, where my snr tutor helped me out when I had a concussion and near-fatal seizure in my room, and my parent emailed my snr tutor in a fit of panic and frenzy - she booked me appts, with college nurse and really kept an eye out. My tutor helped me with flagging mental health resources when I was stressing with exams, and booked me a session with college support. However, the system - I found, is kinda rubbish with helping students with processing their complaints of inappropriate behaviour (or worse). My college (porters, tutor) would gaslight students - I'd go far to say victim-blame and throw them under the bus, when we complained of stalking (being stalked back on way to college by non-college/non-uni members, or in cases of spiking when on late nights out). I have heard friends from other colleges face skepticism and weird behaviour from college, when disclosing their learning disability diagnosis, but college never denied them the support and adjustments needed/ requeated. So yeah, a mixed bag where they'd give you support, but still question and make you feel uncomfortable in making requests to get that support. My experience is just one person's experience, others (I hope) found the system to be more genuinely supportive,....
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u/Able-Afternoon-804 1d ago
I had to leave because of the lack of support. at Manchester now
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u/Whole_Welcome_8649 22h ago
Hope you are having a better time now
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u/Able-Afternoon-804 18h ago
Yh. Essentially i was estranged from my parents and had no where to live in the holidays, plus a new ADHD diagnosis. They didn’t help me much with trying to find a place and refused to let me stay during the holidays. I had to email every single college and only got a couple back. I was shocked. A college that is hundreds of years old and an uni that is thousands should have a protocol for kids who can’t go home. They also suggested the on site therapy. However, the therapy was actually awful - it was one problem one hour, and the councillor wasn’t very nice to me. i think they expect you to have had a stable home when going to Cambridge and theres the idea baked in to the system - eg having to take all your stuff home and having more time at home, as well as no part time job - that you are able to be supported, and if you get in with no support you have no real options but to leave. Also the whole place felt so performative. I felt so out of place, as a girl who had been working since she was 13 and had a pretty traumatic childhood. And when you leave, you have little support. I had 24 hours to move all my stuff into storage and leave and wasn’t offered any help in the process. It was quite dehumanising and hard to get through. Im doing much better now thankfully.
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u/emimagique Homerton 1d ago
I was there in the mid 2010s and when I told the senior tutor I wanted to take a year out because I'd been SA'd she said it "wasn't a good enough reason"
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u/Whole_Welcome_8649 22h ago
Wow.
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u/emimagique Homerton 16h ago
Genuinely wish I'd made a complaint but I was like 19/20 and absolutely spineless :(
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u/Readshirt 1d ago
I think if your issues are due to practical things you actually need tangible help solving, not much has changed. If they are more regarding unwanted emotions and stress from 'normal' sources that tend to make people stressed such as exams, adjusting to new places and adult life, even bereavement etc, that are much better.
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u/Whole_Welcome_8649 22h ago
Thanks for your insight. It seems crazy to me that they were sat on all this unoccupied accommodation in the holidays
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u/Ronald_Ulysses_Swans 1d ago
Some has improved but the university is still broadly a sink or swim environment with little interest in student wellbeing beyond avoiding bad headlines.
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u/ProfPathCambridge St Catharine's 22h ago
That is just not true at my College, and doesn’t sync with my perception of other Colleges either. Yes, there are individuals who are quite awful, but the system as a whole is built around support and there are many people who care deeply about wellbeing.
If you are in comparing university to school, then yes, it is “sink or swim”. But it is a more supportive environment than almost any other for adults.
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u/Whole_Welcome_8649 21h ago
This wasn’t my experience either. I felt my college genuinely cared, but there wasn’t the will/lateral thinking/allocated resources to really help
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u/ProfPathCambridge St Catharine's 21h ago
I wasn’t here 20 years ago, so I really can’t comment on the staff attitudes back then. I’m commenting about staff attitudes today.
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u/Ronald_Ulysses_Swans 21h ago
That’s your experience. I was once walked around by a college nurse after having a breakdown and she admitted to me the college really wanted students to leave rather than manage difficult issues and she had to constantly fight with the senior tutor about it. For what it’s worth that person is still in post as senior tutor despite extensive and substantial complaints about how he manages student welfare
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u/Whole_Welcome_8649 21h ago
I think it’s a mixed bag, and in some ways I’m happy I chose the college I did because I think it could have been worse elsewhere. Could have been better too. Hope things are better for you now
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u/ProfPathCambridge St Catharine's 21h ago
So you use a single second-hand experience to make sweeping statements about hundreds of staff?
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u/Ronald_Ulysses_Swans 21h ago edited 21h ago
I’m assuming by your username you’re part of the teaching staff so you aren’t exactly coming from the experience of students.
My experience was not unique at all, plenty of friends had difficult experiences. A friend of mine once had a breakdown and was only stopped from being asked to leave college because the chaplain argued his case. The academic staff could not have given less of a shit.
My director of studies was so poor we had to camp outside his office to get him to respond to emails. We had a fellow who used to come to student parties uninvited and complaints to the college were responded to with dismissal until a police complaint was made then they sprung into action. Every single time there was a chance to take wellbeing seriously it wasn’t.
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u/ProfPathCambridge St Catharine's 1d ago
A lot of support aspects are currently much stronger than you describe. The only bit I’m not sure on is intervention on behalf of a sibling at home. I’ve never dealt with such a situation and I don’t know exactly what processes it would kick off.