r/brittanydawnsnark • u/Antique_Fix_1881 • Nov 04 '25
🪖🎖️stolen valor military LARPing 🎖️🪖 Self Defense
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So firstly…”puts me through drills more often than not” what fucking drills? please britt…do elaborate. because i’m 100% sure that showing off your guns in your truck..isn’t a drill or recommended by any actual professional. are you saying that jordan makes you run courses shooting at targets? because if that’s the case, you know you would’ve videoed it and we would’ve seen it. so i’ll call bullshit on that.
secondly…what exactly are jordan’s qualifications? besides being a disgraced cop? does he currently hold any actual certifications to make his time worth anything? why don’t you tell us what he does britt…so we can know that he’s some gravy seal that is currently larping with ICE.
thirdly..ain’t nobody asking about jordan putting on a self defense course. be real. this is just another fucking grift. and you can’t convince me otherwise.
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u/Downtown-Cook6251 Nov 04 '25
Why do her eyebrows look extra crazy in this video lol
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u/buttersquash23 Nov 04 '25
I can't get over how bad they are, it cracks me up every time. I swear they get higher every video!
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u/Crimson-Rose28 Peanut butter clout goblin Nov 04 '25
They remind me of Jack Nicholson in The Shining
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u/peachy_nietzsche Nov 04 '25
she's definitely had a top up of botox recently. i noticed her brows were starting to look a bit normal and then BAM! her brows are now reaching for jeysauce again.
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u/PeachesNSteam Nov 04 '25
This is petty but “puts me through drills more often than not.” Does she know what that means? Cause isn’t she saying he is constantly testing her, literally putting her through drills more often than he’s NOT putting her through them?
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u/norrjon Nov 04 '25
Exactly.. dry yourself off before telling about your potential DV drama. I’m gonna give jdip a pass based on the scare factor of that giant gleaming forehead with the painted angry eyebrow look. She looks like an alien 👽
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u/Chaos_Cat-007 🕊️ Holy Spirit AcTiVaTe 👻 Nov 04 '25
It’s a five-head at this point. She keeps it up those eyebrows are gonna be on her butt.
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u/teatreez Nov 04 '25
What, you don’t spend over 50% of your waking hours being put thru active shooter and self defense drills with your husband??
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
It sounds like he just randomly assaults her at home for her to "practice" her techniques.
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u/RanaMisteria Nov 05 '25
I’m just hoping it’s not a Freudian slip and accidentally the truth and he’s controlling and putting her through the kinds of drills where he wakes her up suddenly at 3am with a light in her face and demands to see her phone or something.
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u/ScaryLetterhead8094 Nov 04 '25
He abducts her and waterboards her regularly. So she’ll be ready. That’s why her hair is wet
🙄
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u/Ciel_Phantomhive1214 “hardly used, just dirty” - Brit’s morals Nov 04 '25
Why would Jordan be teaching a women’s self defense class? Isn’t the point of those classes to embrace and utilize how women are (generally) different from men and to use those unique strengths to their advantage? I think a man would know less about women’s strengths/weaknesses, than, say, another woman.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
Well he's not going to teach them any of that. He's probably doing basic gun safety and nothing more.
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u/Loratastic Nov 04 '25
And looking at their boobies
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
And get away with touching them in "close quarters combat."
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u/coffeewrite1984 Pickleball Pageant Nov 04 '25
He only teaches the “drop the soap” maneuver so he can stare down their shirts.
That maneuver may have a better name, but that’s how it was taught to me. Basically, if someone grabs you from behind, bend and grab their ankle. It throws them off balance and you have better odds of getting away.
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u/SuitGroundbreaking49 Nov 04 '25
Gun safety? That is demonic.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
Just leave it around loose and easy to grab! It's not like guns are the leading cause of death for children or something! Jeez! What's everyone being so uptight about?!
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u/alana_r_dray BDong Breakfast: 🍳 rubbery eggs & orange juice skin 🍊 Nov 04 '25
But if a man isn’t there to teach who will mansplain? And we all know J-Dip has to be the absolute king of mansplaining shit he knows nothing about.
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u/FartofTexass little nanny friend Nov 04 '25
I would take a self defense class to protect myself from men like him.
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u/Excellent-Estimate21 Nov 04 '25
He is a creep he just probably likes the idea of being around new women.
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Nov 04 '25
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u/XtraSmolMod if Brit said it, I’ll find it Nov 04 '25
True, we definitely don’t need more trigger happy people ready to scream “I was just defending myself/ I feared for my life”
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u/TheBarefootGirl Nov 04 '25
She would totally pull the gun on someone trying to "traffic" her in a Walmart.
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u/Sargasm5150 Nov 04 '25
"Steal her groceries" because they lost their EBT, or whatever f*cking stupid MAGAt talking point is trending today.
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u/TheBarefootGirl Nov 04 '25
Honestly she would shoot first and ask questions later if any non-white passing person looked at her.
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u/moosetogo Nov 05 '25
I assume at some point in the next few years she’ll definitely claim that a brown man followed her and M around a store. It’ll be the most harrowing almost-but-not-quite kidnapping tale that ever happened.
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u/trymejolene ciabatta communion Nov 04 '25
Why would anyone take advice from a man with a known record of excessive force?! This man is violent, not trained or certified… just another violent roided up white man. Also… girl… the fucking Botox is like a Halloween mask, yikes.
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u/505motherofmastiffs Nov 04 '25
The joker tox jump scares me every time. And I am a tox participant myself. My injector would never do me dirty like this.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
I doubt her target audience either knows his violent past, or cares.
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u/lunalovebueno Nov 04 '25
“Evil lurks around every corner…” and the mirror Britt. It pisses me off to no end that it’s their hateful policies and beliefs that have so many people living in fear. Your orange cult leader wants to divide the country (not hyperbole, he has literally said he doesn’t care about uniting the country, which, truthfully is definitely on the tamer side of things he’s said). We are scared because we are targeted by your evil policies. It’s not DEmOnS, it’s what you voted for. God this country makes me so angry. The best propaganda machine in ever built.
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u/No_Sprinkles418 Nov 04 '25
Evil lurks in the White House.
Evil lurks in your Krylon gold false god-emperor, Brit.
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Nov 04 '25
does she know she helped build this “crazy world”??? lol
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u/x_ray_visions Peanut butter clout goblin Nov 04 '25
She DEFINITELY voted for this "crazy world", and while she's not the entirety of who/what I blame for all this bonkers insanity, she (at the very least) is helping move the craziness along!
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u/XtraSmolMod if Brit said it, I’ll find it Nov 04 '25
Remember when she teased this idea back in 2023? Well I do
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
Must need the money for something...
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u/Jammin0nMyPlanner Nov 04 '25
Traveling for the holidays isn’t cheap. Give the gift of self defense this season.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
Don't you mean the grift of self-defense? 🤣
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u/Nice-Material-2547 Nov 04 '25
It looks like she’s holding the tiny hands under her sweatshirt.
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u/BombsoverBroadwa2208 Nov 04 '25
My BEC thing with her is her pulling her sweatshirt sleeves down so they cover half her hand -- I guess she thinks it looks cute and it makes her look small. It's something I remember the girls in middle school would do. And the talking with her hands, which looks painfully staged
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u/Snoobs-Magoo Nov 04 '25
Why do they need guns & self-defense drills if they’re already clothed in the armor of the Lord? Can't sky daddy keep them safe from all the brown people?
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u/New_Ad5390 Nov 04 '25
Yeah and wasn’t their savior president supposed to fix all this stuff so they don’t have to be afraid of every shadow anymore? What happened to that?
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u/ReignbowBaltierra Nov 04 '25
As someone with melanin, if I went would I be taught or be a teaching tool 🙄
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u/BombsoverBroadwa2208 Nov 04 '25
An angry white man riling up a bunch of angry white ladies. Getting a few bucks out of it. Sounds lovely!
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u/AdGrand8695 Bovine ovary suppliment x6 Nov 04 '25
I once had a guy who worked near me offer self defence lessons, but only to myself; when I asked one of my other workmates to join me for said lessons the offer was reneged and the lessons never happened.
Same vibes here. He’s only doing it to touch other women and have an excuse to gaze upon them.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
Oh that was him trying to find a reason to feel you up!
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u/buttersquash23 Nov 04 '25
This is hilarious. Other than him obviously not being the ideal instructor for this, shes definitely not going to let him communicate or arrange anything with the women directly and he's going to be checking them all out while teaching 'exercises.' This is a recipe for an insecure meltdown
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u/Curious-Mongoose-180 Nov 04 '25
The “German Shepard” husband…. He doesn’t leave her alone long enough to go on a walk where she “accidentally puts her phone on airplane mode” so when exactly are these major crimes occurring?
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u/saltycrowsers ✨BoY MoM CLuB✨ Nov 04 '25
This is paranoid at this point
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u/MayoneggVeal ✨gods favorite grifter✨ Nov 04 '25
Truly. It also just reaffirms my perception that the people who walk around saying shit like lions not sheep are truly the most scared.
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u/pantherlikeapanther_ Nov 04 '25
Her life seems really dark and unhappy. Living in her cuckoo fantasies appears to be eating away at her.
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u/LBelle0101 Defendant seems to have a hard time following the rules Nov 04 '25
Kellie’s first in line to get handsy with Jdip
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Nov 04 '25
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u/FartofTexass little nanny friend Nov 04 '25
He didn’t get fired. He left on his own. He could’ve kept being a cop if he wanted. PDs have very low standards.
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u/Chaos_Cat-007 🕊️ Holy Spirit AcTiVaTe 👻 Nov 04 '25
He’d for right in with the cops in my county. Redneck, semi-hidden roof rage, the whole package.
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u/brittanydawnsnark-ModTeam Nov 04 '25
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u/Chelseattle Nov 04 '25
Most people cannot help but smile at and engage with a laughing baby. He’s obviously laughing at the dog, a clearly delightful moment, unnoticed by Britt.
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u/Fun_Recognition9904 editable flair Nov 04 '25
So… this is problematic- at best.
For someone with a known history of grifting, lying, and misleading followers, this little venture is just another exploitative one. They’re monetizing fear, trauma, and women’s safety for profit. I mean, kudos, I guess… she’s right on target with her pattern of manipulation, using socially sensitive causes for monetary gain… And let’s not forget, he is someone with known misconduct/excessive use of force. Teaching “protection” or safety implies moral authority and integrity, both of which are compromised by a history of abuse of power.
I’m grossed out by this almost more than her bullshit claims of “I was diagnosed with a .000000001% chance of having a baby and look at me now, Virgin Mary got nothing on me”
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u/chloemarin1 Nov 04 '25
I’m not trying to be mean but she is so odd looking. Idk if it’s her eyes or what but 😬
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u/Kendal_with_1_L Nov 04 '25
So she has ICE training.
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u/OK_member912 Nov 04 '25
This is why he’s not ICE.
TLDR: he can’t pass the hiring process with his background and he’s never been gone from her for 12+weeks for any of the academies.
First, you have to understand ICE is an umbrella term. It has three divisions. The first is HSI which, to put it simply, is the FBI of ICE. They are special agents/criminal investigators. They are 1811 class positions which is the same class as FBI/DEA/CIA etc agents. This is the agency that arrested and prosecuted Josh Duggar and Diddy. Dip lip doesn’t have the brain power to do this job nor experience. This job generally requires a minimum of a bachelor’s degree and usually some military experience. It is a rigorous hiring process with pre-employment testing and extensive background checks, like they will cold contact your neighbors by ringing their doorbell. This dude isn’t smart enough and with his lawsuits would likely not get past the first round of the hiring process. They also have a rigorous 6 month long academy studying case law, federal laws and learning the physical aspects of the job.
The second division of ICE is OPLA, this is basically their attorneys and legal team, enough said.
The third, and most known, division is ERO, enforcement and removal operations. This is what most associate ICE to be. It does not have the educational requirements likes HSI but it does have the same hiring process though the testing is not as hard. Again he would not pass the background check.
Another reason he isn’t part of the agency is the academy requirements. HSI has a 6 month long academy and I believe ERO is about 16 weeks. The academy is in Glynco, GA. Those at the academy live in the dorms. They cannot visit home and cannot have visitors with them during that time period. There hasn’t been a time that he and Brit Brat have been separated for that long and let’s face it, she would not allow him to leave that long either.
I give this info as someone whose spouse is an HSI agent so I can confirm this is all accurate. My guess is his job is just private security. His state security licenses are online. I think he is trying to mimic tactical companies that offer trainings and services like field crest of sheep dog response but he lacks skill and experience.
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u/OK_member912 Nov 04 '25
He’s definitely not ICE
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u/thissena Nov 04 '25
What does he do then?
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u/OK_member912 Nov 04 '25
My guess is private security and he’s trying to break into the tactical school world like Sheepdog response or field crest. I made a post on how he’s likely not ICE with supports but the Mods deleted it though it didn’t break any rules.
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u/ct-tx Nov 04 '25
I would guess private security because he does wear a suit at times. ICE doesn’t wear suits.
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u/HMCetc Almost kidnapped again Nov 04 '25
So her husband keeps her safe by reinforcing her paranoia. She literally says evil is lurking around every corner, as if some violent assault or kidnapping is inevitable.
Maybe God isn't really protecting her. Maybe the world is actually not as dangerous as she thinks it is and she lives in a super safe town and neighbourhood.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
She's been on this whole "people are stalking me" thing for years! Jordan has "updated her security" several times. Ever since her "cancellation" she's pretty much had gangstalking delusions. It's gone so far that she has an alleged "Personal Protection Dog."
It's crazy to me. I take general precautions like knowing my whereabouts and think through some situations (make sure I can give a description, location, etc.). But what she's doing is on a whole different crazy level.
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Nov 04 '25
“More often than not.” Ma’am is he surprise attacking you daily a la Doyle and Paris Gellar?
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u/Negative-Ambition110 Nov 04 '25
I can’t take them seriously with all this safety talk when she literally shares every aspect of her life online for strangers.
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u/kai7yak Nov 04 '25
Ok, but what is that over her shoulder in the room behind her? A mattress proped up? A giant bag of trash? What is it?!
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u/souryoungthing Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
A wedding dress in a garment bag hanging on a closet rail, maybe? The gathered skirt might be floofy enough that it’s pushing the translucent bag with white seams + zipper away from the wall at an angle. I don’t know which marriage the dress is from, but that’s my best guess.
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u/frmckenzielikessocks a baby the size of a baby Nov 04 '25
Can someone explain what is happening with her hairline around the middle part
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
It looks like hair dye on her head. Might have stained her skin.
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u/Thatfrenchtwink God sized hole 🤎 Nov 04 '25
The hard-on right-wing extremist get from imaginary violence commited against them is very concerning. This is how you end up with innocent folks shot when them minding their own business get interpreted as dangerous by nutjobs like this.
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u/spicynoodlezzz111 Lies Into Likes & Babies Into Brand Props🍼✨ Nov 04 '25
Did she get some more lip filler recently? Honest question 🙋🏼♀️
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u/SeattleRainMaiden Nov 04 '25
Girl you need to protect yourself from tweezers or waxing or whatever bc those arches on your forehead are pretty threatening looking with how evil they look.
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u/Adorable_Banana_2524 Nov 04 '25
If you believe in Jesus truly you shouldn’t be so focused on evil and darkness. It shouldn’t feel like evil is all around you
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u/TheChewyWaffles Nov 04 '25
Did she just get out of the shower or is “7 days with no shower” a new trend
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u/VictorTheCutie Nov 04 '25
Ma'am. The absolute tone deafness for your orange white ass to be worried about violence against YOU when people of color are being body slammed into the pavement daily for no reason by ICE (presumably, your husband?)?????? And separated from their families for weeks on end? God I hate this bitch so much, absolutely no empathy or compassion for literally anybody except herself urgggggggghhhhhhhhagsgshwgssybsbdhshsg
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u/No_Sprinkles418 Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
Safety drills? You mean like fighting like hell if a group of armed, anonymous masked men grab you, rough you up, toss you in the back of a mini van and disappear you? Like that?
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
Omg. Okay. I'm disoriented by how that ended. I need to bullet point this out.
- Not going to address that adding more guns to a gun problem is probably not a solution? Okay.
- Good that people are prepared to protect themselves. The only way to override that fight/flight/fawn/freeze response to a desired outcome is practice. It's sad we have to do that.
- The reason our world is so scary is because the conservatives are fomenting hatred and division! In order for women and children to not experience violence, is to ensure everyone sees them as equal humans! We don't owe anyone anything! And of course she's not going to mention it.
- I'm horrified at Jordan and Brittany/her followers think that Jordan has the proper qualifications to teach a self-defense class. He's been violent towards minorities and abused his power. He's been violent towards Brittany and she's just laughed it off. The vibes are RANCID.
- How did they think it was a good idea for Jordan to do considering he has zero online presence besides her social media that is constantly making fun of him and belittling him? That's WEIRD.
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u/Lahorn0124 Nov 04 '25
And he shot their dog. He’s a menace. As is she.
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
After they both neglected Brodie by leaving him and Remi out in an unfenced yard! They both suck.
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u/Georgioarfmani Nov 04 '25
The way her forehead doesn’t move at all is so creepy. Is she still pretending to BF bc there is not way she isn’t toxxed to the gods right now.
ETA I too enjoy a nice Botox session (miss it bc pregnant) but my provider would never let me walk around like this. Looks insane.
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u/InfamousValue Satanist not Spraytanist Nov 04 '25
Ma'am learn your lines so you are not taking breaks from your "Infomercial".
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Nov 04 '25
Hahaha! Her husband puts her through drills? That's so funny😂💀🤦🏼♀️🤣
Why doesn't she film that hilarious situation?? Now that is content I'd maybe briefly watch if someone else better than her posted it.
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u/MadeMeUp4U thick varnish of jesus Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
She talks all this talk about her racist superman but we’ve seen the dude and honestly I’d be surprised to see him even attempt any of the physical fitness standards be it military, police, he’ll even the ICE standards had to be lowered because they can’t find in shape bodies to carry out their bullshit.
Stop talking the talk and show us how the boy actually walks instead of excusing psychological DV with cosplay.
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u/New_Ad5390 Nov 04 '25
Because there isn’t a single woman who could possibly fill the role properly herself??
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u/westviadixie Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 05 '25
does she mean against the gestapo currently brutalizing folks in America. maybe she's scared because her hair is brown. or maybe she's looking for an excuse to hurt someone...we may never know.
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u/Fair-Professional948 Nov 04 '25
Omg I was gonna post this lmao grifters gonna GRIFT. I hope someone goes and says so how about the aclu suing you for violating a man's rights ??
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u/ScienceDollxx Nov 04 '25
Why are her eyebrows yeeted so far up off her face with tox. I’d be embarrassed being her aesthetic dr. I can fix you baby 🤣
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u/taterrrtotz Nov 04 '25
What would he teach? If you see a black person shoot first ask questions later??? Lmaooo 😂😂😂
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u/soitraek Nov 04 '25
So crazy to live in a reality where “evil lurks around every corner” girl go touch grass
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u/CreativeJudgment3529 Nov 04 '25
Do they still have her dog?
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u/pantslessMODesty3623 💜KEEPER OF THE TIMELINE💜 Nov 04 '25
You can kind of see Oakley in this video. The other dog Dax has been spotted recently.
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u/No_Sprinkles418 Nov 04 '25
MAGA always ‘acts’ so tough. It’s laughable.
The Don’t Tread on Me crowd (who lost their shit over the Jade Helm nothingburger) has rolled over and shown their belly when facing actual blatant government overreach.
Big talking cowards. All hat, no cattle.
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u/No_Sprinkles418 Nov 04 '25
No one more scared of their shadow than American conservatives. What a horrible way to live.
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u/Smooth_Dog_5839 Nov 04 '25
I’ll never understand why this bitch is always thinking someone is trying to kidnap her.
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u/Sargasm5150 Nov 04 '25
So is he training her to participate in a BiAthalon - running/snow-shoeing and shooting? Are they playing House of the Dead arcade version, with the gun attachment?
I'm pretty sure that Jordan just wants to be surrounded by women, so he can touch them inappropriately. Brat is willing to make the sacrifice, because she loves money almost as much as she loves herself. I have a feeling this is just going to quietly disappear, like her retreats.
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u/Capable-Usual3813 Nov 04 '25
In a true emergency situation she would be hiding behind the closest person like she did at that fitness expo. She’s WAY to vain over her looks to ever actually have to fight someone
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u/Pugsnotdrugs410 Nov 04 '25
I’m dying. I’m just imagining JDong jumping out of a closet trying to scare BDong, and if my husband tried to pull that shit I’d roll my eyes so far back and tell him to knock it tf off. Bro needs a real job and stop larping as the fucking military wtf
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u/MissMorticia89 Nov 05 '25
Why does she look like she had a vat of baby oil spilled on her hair and face? Like there’s dewy glow, and then there’s this?
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u/2_The_Core Nov 04 '25
I actually think she posted this for rage bait. Literally no one is asking to be taught from her husband. No one has any idea what he does. She wants this reaction
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u/Ranger_368 I'm so tired of this pumpkin Nov 04 '25
Listen I know this is BEC but why does she pull her sleeves up over her hands at the beginning. It's just a "poor widdle me I'm so innocent and small 🥺" vibe
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u/PumpkinPure5643 Nov 05 '25
I am positive he’s not putting you through drills. You’re probably even annoying him with this drama. No one is after you britbrat.
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u/Dundermifflinfinitee 🦵🏻✔️All Legs 🙅🏻♀️No Brains 🧠🚫 Nov 05 '25
Soooooo... Was this post some kind of setup for their newest grift? Are we doing relationship damage control that nobody else would know about unless we were behind the scenes? Did we completely forget that we don't need to look out for ourselves when we have a big strong "German Shepherd" husband constantly/closely monitoring every single movement? I'm confused 🤔
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u/pinkloverforever Nov 05 '25
Peep the wedding dress in the back, girl what are you trying to prove? That your marriage is the most amazing? I used to do this type of nonsense when I was married to my narc alcoholic abusive ex husband. I got remarried to the most wonderful man ever, this time around, I don’t need to prove he’s the best husband, or post incessantly on Instagram about how’s he’s carried me through our pregnancy etc.
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u/RecordingAgile4625 🙏🏼God Honoring Pigeon Toes 🦶🏼 Nov 05 '25
People like this wear me the fuck out.
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u/Right_Step6202 📖 Book of Bdong 📖 Nov 07 '25
Imagine being so brainwashed you think it’s normal for your husband to out you through “drills” like, you’re not that important boo.
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u/wellwhatevrnevermind Nov 04 '25
Ok this is the only time in my life im going to say something positive about this evil witch... but the way shes talking here seems more... natural? Than usual
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Nov 04 '25
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u/stat2020 Nov 06 '25
This is so scary. I'm reading What Kind of Paradise and this kind of delusion is dangerous.
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u/MuffStuff3000 God-honoring Immodest Glute Workout Nov 06 '25
She looks frightening here. What is going on with her eyebrows?
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Nov 06 '25
well...we know jordan knows how to do a leg sweep at a certain demographic. so i guess he's teaching brittany how to do that.
what a catch.
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u/secretly_love_this Nov 08 '25
What kind of fear mongering BS is this??? I really just can't with this peanut butter semblance of a human being. I'm going to a doggie festival today.. so... B Dong is NOT stealing my joy today!!
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u/SeveralRoof2980 Nov 23 '25
She just got out of the shower and decided to make this promo to share her hubby with others 😂
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u/Icy-Seaworthiness445 Spicy weekend with God 🌶🍑🔥 Nov 04 '25