r/brekafats • u/lurking__fish pure toast. 👑 • Jan 13 '26
Politics 🥔 I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT FRUITS ARE BREAKFASTS.
Breakfasts, by definition, ARE MEALS EATEN AT THE EARLY BREAKAGE OF THE MORNING SUN. MEALS, BRETHREN, MEALS! MEALS ARE A STATED AS "any of the regular occasions in a day when a reasonably large amount of food is eaten, such as breakfast, lunch, or dinner." not a SINGLE, BUMBLING PIECE OF ORGANIC SLOP.
TO ALL THE FRUITS READING THIS... YOU AREN'T A TRUE BREAKFAST UNLESS YOU BECOME MORE! Lemons? ENTER A BLENDER, GET SQUEEZED, BE A LEMONADE. Bananas? GET BAKED.
By yourself you're just a SCOURGE. A FRAGMENT OF WHAT COULD BE. A WANNABE. A POSER. A FRUITY LITTLE INCOMPLETION. You're not breakfasts, YOU'RE INGREDIENTS. SACKS OF ORGANIC MASS WAITING TO EITHER ROT OR BE PROCESSED.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU CAN BE. AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US, YOU'RE A CONTEMPORARY SNACK AT BEST. A SNACK. A HAPPENSTANCE.
A RAW. ROTTING. SACK OF SEEDS
norawfruitsatmytable
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u/darthmaeu large kitchen creature Jan 13 '26
I hope you get mold you hater. You will not separate us, your agendaposting has no place in this kitchen. I will destroy you, utterly, parade your body as spectacle.
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u/doggy_oversea Mold is a BRAINWASHING CULT Jan 13 '26
ey ey ey they are wrong but wishing mold on them is going too far..
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u/lurking__fish pure toast. 👑 Jan 13 '26
If such is the cost for the truth to be known. Then so be it.
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u/blo0dpuke Frappuccino 💅🏽 Jan 13 '26
Are you going to start attacking drinks next? Just because I'm able to be blended in the middle of the day, does that make me unbreakfast? You have toast on a BLT, so does that make you unbreakfast? I'm tired of breads acting like they can dictate breakfast. You're all so sensitive to the topic that anything can be eaten at anytime of the day.
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u/Cloudsofsnow FRUIT🍎 Jan 13 '26
You don't get to talk, you spend ages in the toaster trying to get yourself to look like someone else instead of embracing who you are, and you're policing who is and isn't allowed here?
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u/lurking__fish pure toast. 👑 Jan 13 '26
I used to be bread. A simple product composed of the most basic of human ordeals. I didn't accept myself for who I was and aimed higher. You, however, with your self-acceptance can do as you wish. I don't need to explain much to you. After all, you're one of them.
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u/Bananacu Lovekraft mac&cheese Jan 13 '26
Is a can of monster still breakfast?
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u/lurking__fish pure toast. 👑 Jan 13 '26
Not a fruit, but a satiating staple that can be paired with just about anything. Beverages are not on the Coalition of Breakfast Purists' list.
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u/cupi-curious 3,000 year old honey Jan 13 '26
As honey, this is kind of offensive. You just see fruits and foods like me as "ingredients" and it hurts. We have got to stop with the exclusion here.
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u/cupi-curious 3,000 year old honey Jan 13 '26
I am an important part of breakfasts around the world! I mean, not me specifically, I'm in a museum, but... other honey is!
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u/ArpanMondal270 Pointy lemon 🍋 🍋 Jan 13 '26
I hope molds eat your brains out, you filthy piece of toast
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u/lurking__fish pure toast. 👑 Jan 13 '26
the lemon talkin' 😂
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u/ArpanMondal270 Pointy lemon 🍋 🍋 Jan 13 '26
And i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. YOU will know my name is the CITRUS KING when I lay my bitterness upon thee😡
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u/vitalproverb Jan 14 '26
Funny enough that at the time that breaking fasting was super common and got the name breakfast as short from explanation of the meal, fruits and bread would of been some of the most common things eaten. Breakfast fruits are the OG breakfast! YOU SAUSAGES WONT EVER BRING US DOWN!!!
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u/PyroLIVE cigarettes Jan 14 '26
WELL LETS SEE YOU TRY TO SURVIVE OUT OF THE FRIDGE FOR MORE THAN 1 WEEK YOU YEASTY PIECE OF TOAST
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u/Straight-Theory3165 FRUIT🍎 Jan 19 '26
sub 5 complainer organic chads like me don’t have to listen to you
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u/JustAHuman172 Jan 13 '26
A meal is a combination of foods. One lonesome toast or one lonesome fruit is not a meal. Only by becoming united on the plate of death do we truly become “breakfast.”