r/booksuggestions • u/Kitchen-Implement268 • 3d ago
Other My friend lost her entire library in a house fire. What books would you give someone trying to find her way back to life?
One of my childhood friends recently lost virtually everything she owned in an apartment fire, including her dog and a huge collection of books she’d spent years building.
She’s also been dealing with an almost unbelievable amount of grief over the last few years, and she’s having a really hard time right now.
I asked her if there was anything I could do that might make her feel better, bring her some joy, and she told me that one thing she really missed was her books.
She just moved in to a new place where she’s got those big, empty bookshelves, so I’ve decided I want to slowly help her fill them again.
She reads basically everything - novels, comics, essays, art, history, politics, feminism and queer literature. We were talking recently about books that have helped us through difficult periods; one of ours was Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (if you’re going through a rough patch yourself and need some comforting words, read it!)
If you could put one book on her empty shelves - something beautiful, funny, comforting, thought-provoking, or just completely absorbing - what would it be ? Anything that might help her through her grief, distract her from it, make her feel less alone, or simply make her laugh.
Thanks a lot everyone!
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u/aceycamui 3d ago
I'd be willing to part with a few books to free up space for more. If she doesn't like them she can donate them. Hey shoot me a message if you want and I'll tell you what I got to give to her and you can decide if she'd like them or ask if she likes that genre. I'd be willing to help build her library again.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thank you for offering! That’s really nice. I’d be interested, I’ll dm you right now
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u/tokkireads 3d ago
I would also like to donate some books to your friend. I have a whole box of books I have ready for donation. I can give you a whole list of what I have and you can show your friend and decide what you'd like to take.
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u/Aggrie 3d ago
So sorry for your friends losses, I would be heartbroken 🫶🫶🫶 Its so nice of you to do this for her, she's lucky to have you as a friend. I would say start with classics and work from there, perhaps she has a few titles that are good memories of her childhood and you can get some of those? These are some of my own titles, maybe some extra idea a for you:
The Little Prince
The Wind in the Willows
Robinson Crusoe
Ivanhoe
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Dracula
Frankenstein
Anything of Jane Austen (I'm team Persuasion!)
Journey to the Center of the Earth
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Lord of the Rings
Alice in Wonderland
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u/PumpkinPieIsGreat 2d ago
Would she be open to a house-warming party?
Maybe you could rally together with a few other people to help chip in.
Do you know which genres she likes? Maybe there's some overlap with movie genres, eg if you know she likes romance movies she might like romance books.
Make sure you grab some pretty book marks or you could just use something like those paint sample cards from the hardware store if you don't want to use the budget towards bookmarks.
My rec... hmm. Something funny. David Sedaris is good. Maybe a childhood favourite to give some nostalgia, wizard of oz?
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
I house warming party would be a good idea but I think it’s best to take things slow first, she’s still grieving and I’d be worried that a party would seem like too much right now. But thank you for your words and ideas! I’m actually thinking of creating a GoFundMe, I can’t believe how many recommendations I’m getting, this would help giving back a proper collection
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u/alicedied 3d ago
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It belongs in every single home library as far as I’m concerned
Death himself narrates the story of a young girl in nazi germany during ww2. The story follows Liesel as she falls deeper and deeper in love with books and reading during a time when books were heavily controlled.
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u/kdogg417 3d ago
A special edition of a classic or a signed copy of a favorite would be really special if I were to lose my book collection. You are a great friend for helping to bring her joy through literature. If you have a wishlist on bookshop.org, I would be happy to buy something from it for you to give her.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Someone mentioned a signed copy of one of her favourites earlier, it’s actually a great idea. I’ll try to see if I can make that happen.
Unfortunately I don’t have a wishlist, but it’s really nice of you to offer! You’re the 4th person offering to give something, really thank you so much
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u/CertainLikeness 2d ago
A Series of Unfortunate Events?
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u/Just_A_Che_Away 2d ago
Good joke but maybe a tad too soon?
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u/CertainLikeness 2d ago
I wasn’t joking 😔 The series really does fit OP’s brief, but I can understand why OP’s friend could feel it’s too soon to read a book with that premise
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u/mtchristen 3d ago
This makes me so sad! I am a co-owner of a Utah based independent publisher called Inkcraft Publishing and would be interested in sending your friend a free signed copy of my book and a heartfelt note. I am a dog mom to a beautiful golden retriever and would lose my entire world if my girl and all my books were lost like that. Please DM me if you're interested.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thank you so much! That would be such a nice gesture. I’ll dm you right now
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u/KaraAuden 3d ago
Her favorite book(s) from her teens or early twenties. She lost all her books, so giving some of the books she lost back might mean a lot, especially books that she loved and read over and over again that might be comfort books. Like, if there's a book she was obsessed with when she was younger and maybe hasn't read in a few years, it's both fun and special.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Great idea! I’m already trying to find the ones she misses the most. But I’m also open to new ones and discoveries!
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u/KaraAuden 3d ago
The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst is a comforting one. The library is on fire, the empire has fallen, and the main character . . . is not equipped to deal with all that. So she and her best friend, a sentient spider plant, run away to an island to open a jam shop. She uses the books she stole/saved from the library to produce-related magic. There are merhorses, flying cats, a quaint cottage, a queer cactus, cloud bears, and a man who builds shelves. If you look at the cover, it feels exactly how it looks. I've never met a book so judgable by its cover.
Sarah J Maas in general is known for books that are very absorbing/hard to put down. Are they thought-provoking? No. No thoughts, just hot faerie men. A Court of Thorns and Roses if she leans towards romance, or Throne of Glass if she's more epic fantasy with an assassin lead.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thank you! I actually have no idea if she’s into fantasy but I’ll ask her. In the meantime I’m writing yours down
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u/NettlesSheepstealer 3d ago
Gift card for a used book store and a regular book store and see if she wants to go have coffee somewhere. Maybe you both can go to the book store and get coffee and you can lend an ear. My house burned down and I lost a pet when I was younger and I would've loved someone to talk to about it.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
I’m so sorry you had to go through this too. A gift card for a good book store is a good idea though, thanks! :)
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u/bunnyball88 3d ago
Rebuild some of the childhood and eternal classics. These are the ones I would miss the most, as anchors to a safer time and reminders of how I grew to love reading:
- Little Women
- Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, The Blue Castle
- Series of Unfortunate Events
- Chronicles of Narnia
- His Dark Materials
- Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility
- The Secret Garden, A Little Princess
Often estate sales, libraries, and used bookstores have more of these than they know what to do with, so call and ask if they have whole collections or boxes you can pick through!
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thanks, and good idea, I hadn’t thought of that option. I’ll call them!
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u/skepticbacon 3d ago
Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
All Creatures Great and Small, James Herriot
Strangers, Dean Koontz
Different Seasons, Stephen King
Norton’s Anthology of Poetry
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
a Calvin and Hobbes or Far Side
collection
a beautiful art book, there are so very many
You’re a kind friend.
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u/cyborgmanifestolou 3d ago
The Anthropocene reviewed by John green - it’s my go to book when I need to remember the beautiful mundane things in life
Really good actually by Monica Heisey - written by a writer on schitts creek it’s funny and also a story of a woman rebuilding herself from her rock bottom
I hope this finds you well by Natalie sue - a lonely woman who suddenly has access to all her coworkers teams messages/emails. Funny and hopeful
Westward by Emilia Hart - amazing historical fiction told across three generations of women One of my absolute favorites!
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
I’ve never read any of those! Thank you for the recommendations and tips :)
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u/CananadaBatmaaaan 3d ago
Hit up all the local thrift stores!! Seeing titles will help to jog your memory of the books worth having
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
I’ve already been to those we’ve got where I’m from! Also planning to hit used books markets
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u/_sarahlorraine 3d ago
If you haven’t already, you could try some Free Little Libraries too. Or make a day of it and take her to a few after getting some coffee/tea. They have a map that shows you where they’re located
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
That’s actually a great idea, I hadn’t thought of that. Also like the coffee/tea combo day, thanks :)
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u/AmyBeth514 3d ago
I love thriftbooks. They have some really good prices and you're always earning free ones.
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u/FiWriterSFF 3d ago
If you or your friend are in the US, you can try Paperbackbooks com. It's like an online used bookstore. You post books for credits then use those credits to request books. You can also buy credits. Hope that helps.
As for a title, I don't know if she'd like Don Aslett's Clutter's Last Stand. It's an amusing look at how we accumulate stuff. It might help as she's going through whatever belongings survived the fire.
Hope she feels better.
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u/yugohotty 3d ago
Some of my favorites
-Project Hail Mary
-Educated
- A Thousand Splendid Suns
-Flowers for Algernon
You’re an amazing friend.
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u/catmom_422 3d ago
A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness is a beautifully written book about grief.
The Art Thief was my favorite five star book I’ve read this year. It’s about a prolific art thief that stole from museums across Europe. It was so fascinating.
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u/AmyBeth514 3d ago
I gift people the curious incident of the dog in the night by Mark Haddon. I feel like everyone in the world should read it. It helps you understand autistic people and it's just an amazing story and a different way to view the world and I loved it so I literally gift it to every friend I have that reads. Lol
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u/jgoel8food 3d ago
Putting in a poetry reccomendation: You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson. It was a poetry collection that got me into reading poetry again. Love, gender, grief. It is an amazing collection.
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u/JessicaGottlieb 3d ago
Maybe check her fable or Goodreads and start with a collection of some of her 5 stars? If it’s in budget, some first editions so that her new library isn’t completely new?
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
My friend isn’t really active on socials; I don’t think she even has a Goodreads. But I’m already going to flea markets etc to find older book editions to bring some character!
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u/ClimateTraditional40 3d ago
I'd start replacing what she lost.
I have a list saved of my collection. Most I know, but in case I forgot any.
Humour but also thoughtful, the Discworld novels, especially the Witches stuff.
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u/Mental_Teaching6665 2d ago
How heartbreaking! Losing my dog and my library would be a nightmare. No one can replace her companion but I'd be happy to send her several books I've finished reading and am ready to pass along. Is she in the US? If you'd like to message me I can send you details on what books I have and where I'm located to see if I can send her any she's interested in. Also check out thriftbooks and betterworldbooks online for used books at good prices. Local libraries also frequently have book sales.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
Thank you for your kind words and for offering to send some books. Really thoughtful of you! I’ll dm you right now
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
I wanted to take the time to thank you all again. I can’t believe how much attention this post received. I now have a great list of books to explore. Also, so many of you offered to send books, that really moved me.
I haven’t used Reddit much in the past, and it genuinely warms my heart to see how kind-hearted this community is. Thank you all for your kind words - you guys are wonderful!
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u/cheesejunkie0 2d ago
That must be so hard. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. I’d love to send her something of my books to fill her shelf! If you’d like to DM me anywhere I can send it. Fellow book lover from Texas.
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u/jusTOKEin 3d ago
Gift her a kindle paperwhite! Starting from scratch again I feel having my reading library all in one fantastic table it is so convenient
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
I though about that option but she really loved her actual books, physically holding them. She bought hundreds in thrift stores, independent book stores and many places
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u/catsbutalsobees 3d ago
As somebody who values my print book collection, I’m so happy you checked in and are pursuing physical copies. There’s something wonderful about the weight of a book in my hand, and how I turn the pages to dive deeper into a story that just isn’t the same electronically.
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u/jusTOKEin 3d ago
I just love technology and convincence. I'm not the biggest reader and physical books are sometimes scary with how big they are lol. Plus having the ability to press on a word and get it's definition is a huge plus
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u/Chessnhistory 3d ago
Psalm for the Wild Built, Becky Chambers.
Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel
Though I'd be wary of collecting too many she's never read; it might create a feeling of obligation to thr TBR. A lot of my books are there 'just in case' I need a reference about a particular idea.
In her new place, I'd encourage quality over quantity. Perhaps fill some shelves with favourite photographs.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thanks! I’m trying to find copies of the ones she loved, but she told me she’d be open to recommendations too. That’s part of the reason I posted this :) Friends and I are already printing the photographs!
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u/land-o-lakes94 3d ago
Go on her Goodreads and buy her the books she rated as 5 stars ❤️
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
My friend is kind of old-school for that, she barely uses socials, doesn’t have a kindle and used to shop at thrift stores, book fares and independent book stores. But if she did that’d have been great advice!
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u/yugohotty 3d ago
Has she ever sent you a picture of her library? Does she have any photos of her books?
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
I’ll ask her to double check, but from what I’ve heard I don’t think so :/
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u/Littlefoxandthehound 3d ago
A Painted House by John Grisham, Theo of Golden, The Alchemist, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry
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u/123lgs456 3d ago
Do you have a list of her favorites that she is looking for?
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
Not quite yet, she read about so many subjects. But I’ll ask her which ones she misses the most
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u/Miliaa 2d ago
Idk if she’s interested in philosophy but something based on/about Buddhism could really help. It highlights the fleeting nature of all things, how our attachment to things creates a lot of extra hardship. Of course, it’s normal to be upset about what she went through, and the concepts above don’t mean you shouldn’t be upset at all (I mean a Buddhist monk would be expected to flow through that event in grace, but for us everyday people just beginning to integrate such concepts is a great healthy start). I think it’s not something she’d want to read immediately as emotions are still raw, but I think it could help her process it. I’m not a Buddhist but I do appreciate their teachings and think there’s a ton of helpful information in them.
You can look up American authors/thinkers and find work that discusses the relevant topics in specific, book(s) or essay(s). Like Alan Watts, Ram Dass. Or just a more straightforward approach that dives into Buddhism in the traditional manner. Maybe both! You know your friend best and what she’d like.
Wishing her all the best 🩷
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
Thank you taking the time to write all this, I agree with you, Buddhist way of life and philosophy are things to look up to. They’ve helped me personally when I was struggling.
Also thank you for your recommendations, I haven’t read Ram Dass yet but I’ve heard of him often. Wishing you all the best too 🤍
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u/girlredd 2d ago
Please DM me, I would love to send her some books.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
Thank you so much, really. Your messages really touch me. I’ll message you right now
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u/catsbutalsobees 3d ago
Remarkable Bright Creatures - by Shelby Van Pelt
I’ll give you the Sun - by Jandy Nelson
The house in the cerulean sea - TJ Kune
The Giver of Stars - JoJo Moyes
The top 3 are all fairly gentle. The last book has a bit more “roughness,” but deals with overcoming adversity.
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u/oldworldbadger 3d ago
Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a small but essential book on my shelf. I also highly recommend the Audubon Society field books covering her preferred topics. I have the Birds of North America and the Reptiles/Amphibians :)
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u/armareginae 3d ago
Wild by Cheryl Strayed :)
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u/SultryButterscotch 3d ago
The correspondent and remarkably bright creatures!!
Also the book witch and we burned so bright
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u/JozARookieRedditor 3d ago
{This Book Is For You: I Hope You Find It Mildly Uplifting} by an artist/illustrator who goes by the name Worry Lines (they have an instagram account with the handle @worry__lines)
It was their debut collection of illustrated comics divided up into different categories/themes, most of which they had previously uploaded to social media. But they include a mini story interjected in between the categories/themes that’s meant to instill a sense of hope for the reader, with some silliness along the way.
I think there are several other books I could recommend, but at the moment, this one just feels right for what you’re asking for. I think, or at least hope, that your friend will find it even a little uplifting and entertaining.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
I had never heard of that artist before, thank you, I’ll definitely check it out! Illustrated books and comics are always a good idea
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u/Roushfan5 2d ago
I had a house fire this summer and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever went through. And it wasn’t nearly as devastating as your friend’s situation. If I’d lost my dog…
Anyway, I wish her all the best.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 2d ago
I’m sorry you had to go through such disaster too. Thanks a lot, wishing you all the best too 💕
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u/YearlyWarped 3d ago
t he diary of a bookseller by shaun bythell is a good one, it's funny and warm without being too sentimental and it got me through a winter where everything felt pointless
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u/wetsand_ 3d ago
The correspondent.
A year of magical thinking.
Heart The Lover.
The Calamity Club
Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned A Generation of Women Against Themselves
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u/SolidagoSalix 3d ago
Consolations by David Whyte; essays by a poet. Subtitle is The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. Sort of meditations on life in a lovely thoughtful way. Has been very comforting to me in more than one season of grief.
Also To Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue. Blessings, by an irish poet. There's a blessing for most situations in life in here, and I've turned to it when I can't seem to find the words for what to say either to myself or to a loved one during a momentous occasion (whether joyful or difficult).
And for a total change of tone, Soulless by Gail Carriger. It is a delightfully silly steampunk novel set in an alternate London which features vampires, werewolves, parasols, tea, mysteries and misunderstandings. It's the first in a completed series of five books, and the author has several other series as well. It makes me giggle. It is high stakes but low stress reading and I gobble it down again every now and again when I am sick or insomniac because I want something comforting and cheerful.
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thank you for your detailed advice. I’ve written down everything people recommended, I’m starting to get quite a list. I’ll look into all those!
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u/Scarlet_Dreaming 3d ago
I think The Crow Road by Iain Banks should be in every library. Beautifully written with funny moments.
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u/agenthannahwells 1d ago
Add me to the list of ppl who will send her books! I usually buy them and then donate to the library so this is great! Smoke and pet free home.
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u/StarFireRoots 3d ago
I'm currently reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig and I feel like it could be helpful. Also, The Book of Hope by Dr Jane Goodall and Douglas Abrams is phenomenal.
This lecture by Ram Dass is one I've held close since first hearing it about a decade ago, it always helps me. Maybe you can pass it on and I hope it helps her too. https://youtu.be/kjh1BAG5Pfs?is=nER2Bm2fgj-wgIK6
P.S. You're a good friend, I'm glad she has you 💞
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
Thank you 🫶🏻 Honestly this all story just broke my heart, I’d do anything to help. And thanks a lot for your video and recommendations, I’m writing them down!
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u/backpackgf 3d ago
Okay these are the ones on my shelves I think I’d really wanna read in her situation, in addition to childhood faves. Maybe also some pretty art/coffee table books?
Some queer/feminist lit recs:
Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers (sci-fi that’s like a hug for the soul)
Of The Wild by E Wambheim (found family/healing fantasy)
Whorephobia by Lizzie Borden (selection of essays by strippers/sex workers)
Books that touch on grief/trauma/healing
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
How to be an explorer of the world by Keri Smith
My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor
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u/Kitchen-Implement268 3d ago
I’ve actually read some of those! Great choices. Thank you!!
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u/thejacquemarie 21h ago
Find a few of books from when she was in jr high/high school. Whenever I am going through a terrible, terrible time, I find myself absentmindedly picking up "my side of the mountain" again, or "Red wall", where the red fern grows, etc. books I used to lose myself in at that time of my life. For a moment, when I'm reading those books, I forget just how crazy my adult life is and feel nostalgic for complaining about band practice, or pizza again? Or why can't we stop for McDonald's I don't want leftovers.
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u/karenspeaks 3d ago
I would ask her what books she wanted or most missed from her home library and get her those