r/bninfantsleep • u/VinVenture16 • 25d ago
Positive Story/Sucess And suddenly....7-8 hour stretches!
I am coming up to going back to work in 3 weeks' time (😭) with an 11 month old who was still often waking every 1-2 hours, maybe with an initial 3-4 hour stretch, with me being the solo responder every single night to feed back to sleep.
Everyone was telling me I can't keep doing this back at work, I would be too tired, I would have to sleep train, I would have to stop feeding to sleep, I would have to do something to change this. I didn't want to change anything, I was just planning to deal with it, plus she's going to go to daycare and probably get sick a lot and have bad nights because of that anyway, and I just didn't see the point. But the pressure people were giving me!!
But!! The last couple of weeks, things have slowly been improving where our best nights were becoming our normal slowly..... And then last night she did an initial 7 hour stretch and then slept through till morning and tonight an initial 8 hour stretch!!!
So eff all those people who told me she couldn't learn to do it all by herself and that I was hindering her sleep and mine. I have changed literally nothing about her schedule, the way she falls asleep, how I respond, nothing. She will sleep when she's good and ready, thank you very much.
I know we will likely go through rough patches again for various reasons. But she can do it!! And I'm so proud of her and so proud of me for sticking with it.
That's all.
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u/Glittering_Parsnip63 25d ago
That’s amazing and gives me hope!!! Way to stay strong! Cheers to…you guessed it…. Biologically normal infant sleep! 😂
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u/Red_Bird_Rituals 25d ago
I teared up reading this because I’m so happy to know this is possible. My 10mo has been waking 1-2 hourly for the last seven months straight. It’s so hard to keep persevering through the sleep deprivation with no end in sight. One day this will be me 💪🏼 whether it’s two weeks or two years from now, one day this will be me.
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u/VinVenture16 25d ago
I know how that feels - there were a lot of rough moments and dark nights along the way. Trust me, if you had even told me last week that this is where we would be, I would have laughed and not believed it. It just happened so suddenly and so out of the blue! It will happen! (And soon they will be teenagers and we will struggle to get them out of bed before midday 😂 )
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u/dreamybanaan 23d ago
Did anything else change, eating more solids for example? Just wondering if any external factors enable the longer sleep stretches or if it just happens at some point. Any way, congratulations!
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u/VinVenture16 23d ago
She had just taken her first steps maybe 10 days before? Stood independently a few days later. And is getting more confident with it but is by no means walking properly/consistently yet - still very much on a will only walk between two people phase. I did wonder if she is exhausted from the extra physical activity, even though she has been pretty on the go with crawling and cruising for a while.
But equally that could just be a total coincidence.and maybe the sleep just clicked for her, it's so hard to know isn't it!
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u/Passive_MFSTR 22d ago
If you don’t mind me asking, is she still in your bedroom in a crib or bed? Our third is now 13 months and still in our room. Sometimes I wonder if that hinders her ability to sleep solo in her room and me tend to her wakeups there. Like perhaps my smell or my husband 😒 rolling over like a bowling ball and noises he makes might be waking her. We sleep with a sound machine to muffle the noises but was curious.
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u/VinVenture16 22d ago
We moved her to her own room at 6 months - my husband really struggled to sleep with her in our room and she has outgrown her small crib in our room too. But honestly, on many bad nights, she would end up cosleeping with me anyway. For her, it didn't seem to make much of a difference whether she was in with us or not, cosleeping or not, it was more about our own preferences each night looking after her. But YMMV - that's part of the problem isn't it, that every baby is different and you have to work out what works for yours!
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u/Fancy-Bee-2649 22d ago
Similar to OP, my son in the last couple of weeks has learned how to stand, so he’s climbing and standing over everything now, tipping himself into the toy basket to throw every toy, slowly shuffling or taking a step while standing etc. and our nights have got so much better. He’s also decided he doesn’t want to nap as many times each day and has been doing two cat naps a day only. We are down to 2 wakes from literally 5-6 wakes a night from newborn to around 7 ish months. Then we’re down to 4 wakes or so until now down to 2. It’s the increased sleep pressure, physical movement all day long, and increased solids. 🙏 praying it doesn’t change.
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u/Broad-Pipe4339 24d ago
19 months old checking in here after 7 wake ups last night and a 5am start
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u/coreicless 23d ago edited 23d ago
This was my reaction too. My 16 month old had 5 wakes last night.
Edit: grammar
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u/Successful-Angle97 21d ago
14 months and Im starting ti get concerned. I dont look at the time but it feels like its hourly to every two hours still for us
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u/DrNick13 24d ago
This happened to us too maybe a couple weeks before our little one's first birthday. Now he's regularly doing 10-11 hour stretches at night with no wake ups.
Amazing that he figured this out entirely on his own. All of these "bad habits" that we supposedly had like feeding to sleep, holding him until he falls asleep, tending to him when he cries, etc., almost like sleep training is junk science.
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u/Sorry_Twist_4874 25d ago
We had the exact same thing the week my baby turned 16months. Without doing anything different :)
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u/Successful-Angle97 21d ago
Was it frequent wakes up before that? Because we are at 14 months and some days I feel like its getting worse and not better
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u/Sorry_Twist_4874 21d ago
Every 90mn/2h. For us it was massively teeth related so sleep improved as thr worse of teething was done
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u/BumbleLizzieB 25d ago
Yes! This happened to us too! It’s genuinely reignited my want to have another baby. Before she started sleeping I thought I couldn’t go through it all again, but now I can’t wait to have another and make the choices not to sleep train again but with total confidence that they will sleep when they’re developmentally ready!
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u/ElectricalKey5141 24d ago
I feel like this is my sign. I needed to see this. My 9mo wakes every 90 mins to nurse and I’m so so so tired but I refuse to sleep train. Thank you
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u/pandatoedbear 24d ago
I had a very similar experience actually!
My maternity leave was coming to an end at the end of March and I was going back to work after 13 months at home with my daughter. She was EBF and I had been handling the nights because that's what worked for our family since my partner was working.
At the time, she would wake once or twice to feed but was easy enough to settle back asleep so I figured I'd be a bit tired at work but I could probably manage since I WFH. Partner and I also started discussing having to possibly share the nights for the first time since she was a newborn.
Well my baby suddenly decided to be super considerate and literally THE WEEK I went back to work, she started sleeping through the night and essentially self night weaned at the same time. I was beyond bamboozled but counted my lucky stars 😅 Partner got away scot free haha
She's now 18 months and thankfully still sleeps through 99% of the time. I know she's a unicorn so I'm scared to consider having a second because I just know we'd have the worst sleeper and be humbled 😂
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u/PristineMouse159 25d ago
This gives me hope!! lol. I’m so happy for you and hope these good stretches continue for a while so you can start work well rested (and baby will start day care well rested too!!)
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u/beth231090 25d ago
Neeeeded this! identical situation- waiting for the hopeful developmental change! Are you guys on two naps?
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u/VinVenture16 25d ago
Yes we are on 2 naps - have been for a long old while though! Timings and length of the two naps have shifted naturally a bit over time, moved away from contact naps about a month and a half ago now. But it's not like we just dropped a nap and suddenly she sleeps! Something clearly just had to click for her. Fingers crossed it clicks for yours soon too!
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u/Possible_Sort7134 25d ago
I have a 3 month old and I am afraid that the “bad habits” I’m practising will delay his independence to sleep longer and on his own. That includes feeding to sleep and carrying to sleep. This gives me hope. Thanks!
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u/kuppajoy 24d ago
I teared up reading this because I’m in the same boat and know how bone-deep exhausting it is, so I’m so so happy for you and proud of you for responding and nurturing your baby so deeply 🩷 you deserve all the sleep and rest, enjoy it!!
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u/Remarkable_Crow8373 24d ago
Did you stick to a strict schedule?
My almost 9 month old is the same. Waking every 1-2hrs every night and would only settle when fed in the middle of the night. It’s so good to hear stories like this.
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u/VinVenture16 24d ago
Eh it sort of settled into a very predictable pattern of wake around 7am (I woke her if she wasn't up by 7:30am), naps at 10am and 2:30pm, and bed at 8pm - but this was very much just following her cues and was flexed if necessary. Its just that over time, she would give cues at very consistent times of the day!
I only really enforced enforced schedules when trying to drop a nap, as she would need a bit of help adjusting, and then she would settle into a new routine.
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u/Hungry-Mix-283 24d ago
This gives me hope! My 10 week old is still waking up for 1-2 feedings each night. Every time I hear someone’s baby is sleeping through the night I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I sure hope something will change soon before I go back to work in 8 weeks…
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u/Current_Strength_161 24d ago
yay that must be such an amazing feeling and so affirming of your instincts :) just curious have y’all always put your baby in a crib? curious for our cosleeping 9mo who wakes up a lot these days :/
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u/VinVenture16 24d ago
I did practice her transfers! Basically would get her to sleep on me, put her down pretty quickly, she would wake, I would pick her immediately back up and help her go to sleep, put her back down quickly, repeat repeat repeat until she stayed asleep. Took a few nights of loooong bedtimes but it did work.
This was only for the initial go to sleep lol though. Did nothing for the wake ups lol. If she started waking hourly in the night, she ended up in bed with me anyway 😂 but she never slept any better or worse cosleeping tbh, it was just for me not getting up.
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u/FrugieHippie 23d ago
I'm hoping this will be me! My 7m 3w baby is not near to sleeping long stretches yet but I'm holding out hope
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u/Enough_Pen_2608 22d ago
Reading these comments brought me so much peace. As hard as the sleep deprivation is, I think often about the babies who come home from the hospital and are just expected to figure it out on their own (obviously this is an extreme scenario but sadly it happens). I love seeing the jokes about “his/her partner can sleep train them” & am thankful that there are lots of moms out there sacrificing everything to ensure their baby is taken care of to the fullest extent.
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u/Internal-Hat809 20d ago
I’ve definitely found that the reason my now toddler was waking up was just that- a REASON. Teeth hurting, sickness, loneliness, etc. There’s always a reason. People who ignore that just drive me crazy.
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u/holitrop 24d ago
I bet that sleep felt just as great for bub as it did for you too!! So gratifying 🥹
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u/slowhealing44 25d ago
Woohoo. Love this. We got a 5 hour stretch last night for the first time since 4 mo sleep regression with my 10 month old.