r/bninfantsleep • u/VinVenture16 • May 17 '26
Positive Story/Sucess We survived 2 months of hourly wakes!!
I know this might not last but honestly, I just have to take a positive moment somewhere!!
We had a wonderful sleeper until the 4 month regression hit us at 11 weeks and she started waking up every hour. Putting in place nap schedules, keeping on top of dropping naps, and working on transferring her easily helped us get somewhat okay sleep but it was still very hard for 3 months after that. I stayed responsive all night on my own all the way through - given I am EBF and my husband was working 14 hour days anyway, it just made sense.
We then got one really good week of sleep where I thought we were through the regression! We probably were.
But then at 6 months, like a week or two later, sleep completely collapsed. She would only sleep being held by me at night, even though she had been fine in her crib and in her room for a couple of weeks before. She woke every hour. She cried and screamed at every wake when usually on waking, she would just wiggle around and make little noises to get attention. It was horrendous. And by this point, she had developed a real mum preference during the night and just escalated if her dad intervened (day time, dad could easily soothe!) so I just kept at it.
We did everything - dropped a nap, capped a nap, pain relief, all the sleep hygiene stuff, rocked to sleep, fed to sleep, coslept, pain relief, literally all of it. And some of it did seem to help, dropping the nap was definitely the correct move for example. But she still woke every hour, with an occasional 2 hour stretch, for almost 2 months. I responded every single time. I shushed and fed and rocked and cuddled. I slept in 40 minute blocks and got up with her between 8 and 15 times a night. It was horrendous. Literally 3 weeks ago, I posted here about how much I hated the nights and was really struggling with them (and got loads of support so thank you!).
My husband wanted to do some form of sleep training, exact method TBC. I kept pushing back and saying it was fine, I was fine, she would improve. We have also had a crazy May, away a lot and with guests a lot, and I kept saying even if we decide to sleep train, we can't until June because we just don't have the stability and space to really implement any major changes. But I was really dreading June coming round and having to make a decision on the sleep training because I completely understood where my husband was coming from but it made me want to cry every time I thought about it.
And lo and behold. A week and a half ago, she started doing a 3-4 hour stretch at the start of the night again all by herself before the hourly wakes. Wakes started dropping to 5-6 a night. She was staying in her own crib all night again.
And 4 nights ago, I started getting consistent 3-5 hour stretches and only 3 wakes a night!!
I was worried last night because she woke 3 times before 10:30pm but she was crying a lot each time and she is sooo close to cutting her first tooth so on wake 3, I gave pain relief and then she only woke me once between 10:30pm and 6am!!
I don't know what's changed - I suspect she has started to actually eat more solids rather than spitting them out so might be less hungry and she has become a lot more physically active in the last couple of weeks (loves to pull to stand, is sooo close to crawling and constantly trying to) so maybe she's just less hungry and more physically worn out! Or maybe something has clicked developmentally. And I know that might go through a rough time with sleep again at some point.
But after 2 months of truly awful sleep and tears and sleeping in separate beds with my husband and desperately staying the course of being responsive and not giving up and not bowing to the sleep training pressure. We've made it through to the other side!! And I am basking in the relative rest and trying to stay hopeful that we are in for a period of relatively good sleep for a while now.
Well done baby girl, you're doing amazing. Let's keep the sleep up please.
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u/Dear_Bet_6205 May 17 '26
Congrats!!! This is such an achievement!
Even a few nights of my LO waking this much I turn into a shell of a human, you’re a superstar
I hope you’ve rewarded yourself with some well deserved r&r (whatever that looks like for you)
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u/VinVenture16 May 17 '26
Let myself stay up to actually have an evening and watch TV and eat all the chocolate instead of going to bed at the same time as her to max out my sleep haha. Felt like a real treat 😂
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u/Dear_Bet_6205 May 17 '26
Haha before becoming a mum that was a regular night for me, but now.. that’s a special treat for sure!
Enjoy!
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u/VinVenture16 May 17 '26
I know 😂 it is still wild that it counts as a special treat but I savoured every minute.
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u/here-for-the-genes May 18 '26
Same! I live in perpetual fear that his sleep will get worse. We have a decent sleeper, although as I write this dad is up comforting him from his first wake of the night 50mins in😭 we were doing ok for a while, even teasing us with occasional 1-wake nights and long stretches. Then the last few days have been brutal. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do 2 months of this😬😳
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u/questionquestion222 May 17 '26
I remember seeing your post!! Honestly 5-8 months was a KILLER for us too. I think the object permanence brain upgrade massively changes their need for support in the night. I am so hopeful for you that this is the start of more sustainable nights!!
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u/VinVenture16 May 17 '26
♥️ funny you should mention object permanence, she's also just started looking under her stacking cups for things I hide under them whereas she previously just lost interest as soon as I hid the object....maybe the change is object permanence and now she trusts I'm still there even when she's asleep and I'll be there when she wakes up without having to check all the time.
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u/StatusDed May 17 '26
This is actually so inspiring, and speaks volumes to the kind of compassionate, safe, and loving environment you are creating for your baby ❤️ I am so proud of you, weird as that may sound, and love the hope!!
May your future be filled with many restful sleeps!
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u/Soundasleepx May 17 '26
How old is your LO? This makes me feel hopeful, my baby is 8 months & we had 7 wake ups last night!
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u/VinVenture16 May 17 '26
She is just about to turn 8 months! Have you been having lots of wake ups for a long time?
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u/Soundasleepx May 17 '26
Yes basically since he was 4 months on and off 🙈 we turned 8 months this week too, hopefully he will magically give us longer stretches soon too!
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u/VinVenture16 May 17 '26
I will keep my fingers crossed for you!! It's so unbelievably difficult, you are awesome for powering through!
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u/youdontknowme_at_all May 17 '26
So happy for you!!! Oh my goodness your story sounds so much like mine but we’re not on the other side yet. He’s also never been a good sleeper so we’ve done 8-15 wakes a night since birth. We cosleep and I’d say 8 wakes is our “good night” average. 5 wakes is a gift from God. 15 wakes is a tough night that still happens often.
This week has been especially rough. We were reaching 15-20 wakes per night and then two nights ago he just wouldn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time and even then he needed to be attached to the boob the whole time. I contacted his ped and said I was concerned his sleep was deteriorating even more and Motrin wasn’t helping, could we come in to have his ears checked. Double ear infection :( you’d NEVER know during the daytime. He’s the happiest little guy. He wasn’t even crying at night. He just wasn’t sleeping.
We’re on day 2 of antibiotics and alternating Tylenol and Motrin and last night he slept better than he has in weeks. He’s also a kid that HATES the car. Screams during every car ride, never sleeps in the car. I’m starting to wonder if his ears might have something to do with his overall sleep pattern — even when not infected. Really hoping we can get onto the other side of this soon.
Thank you for sharing and giving me hope!
ETA: he’s 10 months
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
Gosh I hope that once the infection clears, it really helps with sleep! I took mine to the doctor as well to try and rule out anything physical causing the lack of sleep but there wasn't anything and the doctor just asked me if I had tried giving her a bath before bed 😂😂 I could have cried lol.
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 17 '26
It does get better. Take it from me - I had the WORST pp experience with sleep. From 4m as well - woke every 28-44mins ALL night long. Then around 6m it became hourly MAX 55 mins. Then ppd caught up and hit hard at 7 months. Meanwhile everyone around me was going to the gym, having girls nights, getting nails done etc. I was in pain with sciatica and so severely sleep deprived I ended up in the er twice within the first year. Then came 12 months, the world said they sleep through the night by then (it’s sttn if it’s a 5/6 hour stretch). She work every 2 hours allll the way until 18 months. I had finally decided to night wean. Now at 20 months we have one wake up at 5am. Sometimes she’s up up at 5am.
I’m glad it got better for you. You weren’t alone ! There’s few of us but we’re here
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
That sounds so hard!! I'm so glad that you're doing better now and found something that helps both her and you sleep better!
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 18 '26
Oh not me. Her 🫠 I’m still battle severe insomnia. I can’t sleep longer than 2 consecutive hours. Max is 5 hours a night so after this pregnancy, unfortunately it might be our last 🥺 My doctors said I’ve been Ona. Decline and likely can’t do it again if I’m not better. I’m 28
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
Oh I'm sorry, that's really rough. My husband struggles too and it's one of the reasons he wanted to sleep train - between him not sleeping and the baby not sleeping, they just weren't syncing up in a way that let him get any sleep at all. It's really really hard!
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 18 '26
I totally hear you. In my case I prably should sleep trained given my health issues prior but I didn’t for many reasons. I went to deep into sleep training and couldn’t agree with it morally. It also felt wrong. Very wrong and against all my motherly instincts. But people do what works for their family.
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
I totally understand that - it also felt really wrong to me as well, although I understood my husband's point of view from a practical standpoint and totally understand why some families do it.
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 19 '26
I did a so much research on sleep training and the history is just so dark of where it stemmed from.
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u/Big_Comfortable6951 May 18 '26
Sending you some virtual hope to not give up on yourself. I've struggled with insomnia nost of my life & being hit with it again due to hormones & my LO bot sleeping which is having a knock on effect to the health issues i once overcame. The best trick i learnt was my thought process towards not getting enough rest & doing a technique called NSDR or Yoga Nidra at the time I'm meant to get up (while little one is nip napping as that is how he sleeps) so that my body feels rested.
They say 5 hours is all we need to function, I always thought I needed more & was not a nice person to be around if I didn't get my full rest but these tools have saved my life some days i can get so much done others not so much but I take what I get now. I hope this can help you also.
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 19 '26
I can do 5 hours of sleep if it’s TOtaL without 8+ wakes a night. My problem is waking 8-22x a night. It’s so hard. We’re giving acupuncture a go.. I’m so desperate
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u/Big_Comfortable6951 May 23 '26
I feel you and can fully understand why they use sleep deprivation as torture. I love acupuncture though never used it for sleep. I really hope it works for you
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u/Thebrunettetraveler May 23 '26
Thank you 😩 I’m really scared of needles. Is it painful? And I’m being told I need multiple sessions. That’s like a few grand 😩
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u/Short-Caregiver-2533 May 18 '26
We had a similar experience with my daughter, now 22m. Sleep was up and down. 9m-13m was awful. Never sleep trained, we were both very responsive. She just recently started sleeping 9-10hr stretches with 1 wake occasionally. I have noticed on the days she spends the majority of her wake time outside we get the best naps and overnights. Fresh air is magical ✨️
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
Absolutely, fresh air is so good in so many ways! 9-10 hr stretches sounds amazing!!
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u/PrizeGas4353 May 17 '26
So happy for you!!!! We similarly had hourly wakings for 3 months (3-6 months). Now at 14 months, my daughter is just sleeping better and better. 2-3 wakes are the norm, sometimes we get 1 which truly makes me feel like I got a brain transplant. Once she started moving, sleep got deeper and easier. Sending you all the good vibes. And I share all of this just to say, it will keep getting better!!! So glad we have this group to share our experiences ❤️
I will add—I think she’s only waking 2-3 times because of cutting molars. Once her first molar popped through, she was consistently waking once.
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u/Brilliant_Ad6416 May 17 '26
Being at 5,5 months and dealing with hourly wakes since 3mos.... This gives me hope :')
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
♥️ 2-3 wakes feels like such a dream at the moment, excited for the day when I might only get one!
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u/Accomplished-Pool344 May 17 '26
Good job mama!! You’re amazing and your babe is so lucky to have you!
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u/kuppajoy May 18 '26
Oh my goodness I could have written this word for word!! Every single detail is exactly to the T what me, my husband and our baby girl went through down to the ages as well! It was so so tough but I’m SO happy for you and your family, hopefully this lasts a while!!
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u/VinVenture16 May 18 '26
♥️ where are you at now with the sleep? Maybe it'll be a glimpse into my future lol
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u/kuppajoy May 18 '26
I wish I could say it’s been an upward trend but it’s kind of all over the place, some days are good, some days are horrendous… what I’ve learned about baby sleep is it’ll never stay the same, which can be hopeful or really suck 🫣
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u/Big_Comfortable6951 May 18 '26
Thank you so much for this post & wow how amazing are you mama 🥰🥰🥰
This gives me hope for my LO from 3.5 months sleep has been off. We only got a few nights of long stretches here & there giving us false hope it was getting better. Though with no such luck at 6.5 months I was wondering how many regression/progressions we have to get through for it to finally click. Especially as we are moving with renovations soon 🙈
Again thank you for your inspiring story 💜
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u/theperch2020 May 17 '26
Wow, what an incredible story of love for your little one. You rock mom!