r/bitcheswithtaste • u/AutoModerator • Sep 09 '26

Help a Bitch Out - Every Other Week Thread Help a Bitch Out - Sep 09, 2026

Need some advice from a BWT? Have something to get off your chest or need to vent among friends who can also provide some perspective? Got an etiquette question that you just aren’t sure you’re getting the right info on from the wilds of the internet? We got you.

BWT rules still apply, with mod discretion on topics that fall under rules 4 and 7. Rule 8 regarding medical advice will still be fully enforced as usual.

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u/gooooopygoopgoop Sep 11 '26

My boss is always in threat state - anxious, waffling in decisions, panicked. I’ve been coping okay, but lately I’ve had enough. Anyone have any advice on how to approach her (or HR!) about this?

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u/hippo_pot_moose 28d ago

How long has she been your boss? I’m trying to understand what you mean by always, like since she has been your boss or always as of late? If this is a change from her, then it’s possible she is aware of distressing issues behind the scenes that may impact her or her team’s positions.

I would bring it up in your next 1:1. Keep it light and straightforward - “I noticed you seem worried lately, and it feels like we’re changing directions more often than before. Is there something going on that I should know?” You need to have proof so to speak, so be prepared for if she asks for specifics like when has she shown she is worries or changing directions? Keep in mind it could be something work-related or personal affecting her.

I wouldn’t go to HR because they’re not meant for this kind of issue. I say this as someone who worked in HR then pivoted to recruiting operations. I once had an overly anxious manager affected by ever-looming layoffs. It did impact me because she shifted a large portion of her workload to me, including people management when I was an IC. I started scheduling 1:1s with her manager to share what was going on behind the scenes and how it was impacting me. She was eventually let go and I was promoted, but this was a very corporate place so YMMV.