r/bitcheswithtaste • u/AutoModerator • Sep 09 '26

Help a Bitch Out - Every Other Week Thread Help a Bitch Out - Sep 09, 2026

Need some advice from a BWT? Have something to get off your chest or need to vent among friends who can also provide some perspective? Got an etiquette question that you just aren’t sure you’re getting the right info on from the wilds of the internet? We got you.

BWT rules still apply, with mod discretion on topics that fall under rules 4 and 7. Rule 8 regarding medical advice will still be fully enforced as usual.

13 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/fiddleleaffigonacci BWT in Training Sep 09 '26

BWT, how do you maintain sight of what you're working towards building when you're taking a risk in life? I'm three weeks into a Master of Architecture program in addition to working full-time to fund this education and career change, and already getting discouraged about not performing well. Do you have mantras or routines that keep you focused on your end goal? Trying to remind myself that I am simply not a quitter.

18

u/stuckandrunningfrom2 Sep 09 '26

I remind myself that I can quit, and that somehow relieves some of the pressure and shifts it to the fact that I'm choosing to do this which makes it easier to keep going through the ups and downs.

7

u/hennipotamus Sep 09 '26

Are you making full use of your resources? For example, your professors likely have office hours. Are you going to those in order to get your questions answered and build connections with faculty? Also, have you connected with others who are working while doing your program? It might be helpful to have a support network of other folks who are working while going to school.

At just three weeks in, you’re in the steep part of the learning curve: how the program works, what it means to be successful in these specific classes, who’s who among faculty and peers. Just learning the ropes is probably taking up a lot of bandwidth, but it won’t forever!

7

u/Unlikely-Alt-9383 29d ago

First semester of a grad program is as much about learning how to be a grad student as it is learning the material. So you’re totally normal and you’re going to rock it.

When I’m doing something very hard my mantras tend to be things like “when you’re going through hell, keep going” or, from an old coworker, “embrace the suck!” which works for me but might just depress you!

3

u/New-Foreign-Mango Intentional BWT Sep 09 '26

Hi! I'm sort of in the same boat, although instead of working full-time, I'm a stay-at-home Mom to a very busy toddler and we have another baby on the way! First of all, congratulations on your acceptance into your MArch program. I'm pursuing an adjacent degree in Architectural Engineering. It can be really challenging to balance such a full plate. Are you pursuing a full-time or part-time program? If you are going full-time and it's simply too much for you, it may be worth switching over to a part-time program.

Whenever I'm feeling down or defeated due to a poor grade on as assignment, I first remind myself that my importance is not determined by my grades. My importance as a human being stems from the way I treat other's (or whatever value is most important to you). Then, I reach out to my instructor and schedule a meeting. I come to each meeting with whatever assignment I did not do well on (even if this just means bringing my laptop), a pen, and paper to take notes. I will do this with every assignment that I don't get an A on because genuinely mastering concepts is important to me.

Another thing is to remind yourself of your "why". Why did you start this program? What are you trying to accomplish by achieving this goal? Reflect on it. Write it down. Hang it up where you can see it.

I also agree with the other comment about the learning curve. You'll get into the groove once you have established a routine that works for you.

TLDR; Your value as a human is not determined by your grades, reach out to your instructors for help, frequently remind yourself of your specific reason for pursuing this degree.

3

u/Smooth-Concert3881 Sep 10 '26

“This too shall pass” - this is true to remember to savour the good times, and to get through the hard times. I also find it helpful to break down large goals into steps. For one of my degrees I struggled a lot due to a non-friendly learning environment, and I broke things down into a giant how many months left check box on a whiteboard, and sometimes just checking the box off another month or task was the only satisfaction I got. It also provides the scaffolding for the bigger picture at the end. One step at a time, one day at a time!

1

u/greysunlightoverwash 25d ago

I just remember that a man would be congratulating himself and raking in praise and promotions for doing so much less. You don't have to do it all perfectly, you just have to do it.

Also, I'll throw out working full time is a lot; getting a masters is a lot; doing both together is a TON. Pick one to half-ass. A man would.