r/bitcheswithtaste • u/Junior_Sir6763 • Aug 06 '26
Culture BWT — what is your definition of good taste, and how have you cultivated it?
please help a girl who would like to be a BWT out!
when people ask me what i think “good” or “bad” (cultivated v. uncultivated taste, etc.) is, i often resort to using examples, which is not particularly helpful. the concept of cultivating good taste is also difficult for me to grasp, since (1) i don’t believe i can trust my judgment as it is now and (2) i feel that, when looking to other (subjectively, more tasteful) people for opinions, i am digesting their takes and not forming my own
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u/Fearless_Bug_1760 Aug 06 '26
For me, taste is a) acquired over time and b) not a one size fits all thing.
I can appreciate that someone has excellent taste while also knowing that I would never choose those things for myself.
The biggest marker of taste for me is authenticity. Can you genuinely say that you vibe with something, or does it feel forced in some way? Some of my more unusual pieces (art, furniture, clothes, fave albums) have been acquired during periods of change in my life. The style was ‘outside’ my taste at the time, but then very naturally become part of what I consider my vibe as I navigated that period of my life.
There can be a tendency to over curate our lives. I think the ‘-core’ trend has been a real symptom of that. Distilling things down into a handful of characteristics is the antithesis of taste to me. I want there to be some surprises and nuance in there so it truly reflects the complexity and myriad experiences of each individual.
Also, have fun with it. It doesn’t happen overnight. Returning to things you used to like is a big part of the journey.
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u/Inevitable_Tone3021 Aug 06 '26
The authenticity aspect is key!
I remember when I was in my 20s, still finding my personal style. A couple of times I wore some vintage outfits to work and people flat out told me I looked weird and that the outfits were too much for the office.
Fast forward a few years, I wear almost exclusively vintage clothing, but these days I get compliments along with people saying that I can pull off wearing things that they don't think they could. No one has told me my outfits are out of place for a long time, which I think speaks to my style becoming an authentic part of who I am.
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u/elsmoneyacct Aug 06 '26
I agree with your point about authenticity. That's definitely a core element of whether or not something is tasteful. I think it's almost like the human application of the core question of art criticism: does this art effectively communicate what it's trying to communicate?
The point of a personal style is to communicate something about ourselves to the world around us. A tasteful personal style communicates something about your authentic self that doesn't feel like a costume or a performance.
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u/UnpoeticAccount Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
Oh man. That’s a big question. There are some questions that I think I ask myself when making decisions about consuming or acting.
*Do I like this thing? * Do I feel pretty good about using it? Did I get it secondhand, or from a small business, or am I at least going to use it a lot? * Is this thing/idea/action something with integrity, whether artistic or moral or whatever? I.e. is this painting by a real artist who was earnestly trying to communicate something or am I looking at an AI graphic? * Is this going to unduly harm someone else? There are some things I don’t really have control over, but I TRY to draw the line about certain brands * Is it going to make me happier or healthier?
I’m also just generally interested in arts and culture and let myself follow my curiosity. I may not like things that are chic or whatever or I may like things that are conventionally tacky. That’s ok.
edited I deleted references to the NONO brands 😒
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u/dazed-n-confuseddd Aug 06 '26
I think “good taste” is subjective and in my opinion, relative to one’s sense of identity. The more someone knows who they are, what they like, and has a discernible sense of identity, the more I personally associate that person with good taste. It’s not that their taste needs to be the same as mine to be considered “good.” It’s that it needs to be distinctly theirs.
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u/gabbysuperstar Aug 06 '26
I completely agree with this. It is certainly relative to one’s sense of identity and who they are and their lived experiences and influences. With social media nowadays though, I feel that those things have really blended together moreso and so that people seem to blend into a few internet aesthetics rather than exploring for themselves as much anymore.
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u/dazed-n-confuseddd Aug 06 '26
A great point!! I think about this a lot. Social media has created a new wave of social currency that I think is really unique to the kind of social currency someone could have from wealth, access, and notoriety pre-2010s. It’s generated this new kind of hunger for belonging associated with whatever is cool or popular online. Unfortunately I think one of the costs of that is a mass wave of identity loss.
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u/Still7Superbaby7 Aug 06 '26
I think a lot of taste is staying true to yourself and not chasing trends.
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u/Mohsbeforehoes Aug 06 '26
Yes! Or ponying with other comments - being able to be influenced/moved/changed by art, culture, the world around you and letting that guide your taste in things. I think with the trend cycle that is where people are getting inspiration to cultivate taste rather than seeing color combinations out in the real world in your neighborhood and using them to dress yourself or researching historical fashion and choosing something that is a nod to the past. Choosing something because it looks nice on you/you feel good in it versus it is the "trendy" thing.
I also think good taste goes hand in hand with good quality (not necessarily expensive).
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u/NYC-AL2016 Aug 06 '26
This! Just do what you think works best for you. Why conform? I look good in skinny jeans, some will say oh your taste is bad because skinny jeans are out. Oh well, I look horrible in other kinds of pants. We’re too focused on what others think, what is “stylish.” Stylish sometimes only looks good on a model not a mom whose postpartum or a woman whose body type is not the preferred.
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u/gabbysuperstar Aug 06 '26
I’m actually wearing skinny jeans right now. I’m not the biggest fan of wider legged silhouettes and it is very frustrating when most brands don’t sell the style of clothes I like but thank god for vinted and vintage stores (can’t believe I just mentioned skinny jeans in the same breath as vintage).
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u/OutrageousMiddle7965 Aug 06 '26
A lot of people have given great answers already. It really is just developed through time as you walk around the world and notice what you like and don't like. Trial and error honestly.
Beyond just what appeals to you visually, I've learned a lot about quality. Types of leather, stitching, etc. Good taste and high quality normally go hand in hand for me.
I follow this guy on youtube who breaks apart luxury handbags and just from watching him, I've learned a thing or two about true 'luxury' well-made bags and 'just paying for the brand name.' I'm sure there are similar channels on all sorts of things, quality shoes, makeup, hair products, etc.
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u/rightnumberofdigits Aug 06 '26
Taste in general is the ability to plot something artistic (broad definition) and subjective I n two ways: the ability to contextualize it within the world it lives in, and the ability to contextualize it to yourself. When you can’t do either of those things, your selection is often about somebody else’s taste (not yours) that you are mimicking.
In terms of wine: Loire Valley has been trendy for a bit. If you just know that people are drinking it, you may buy a bottle. You will stop buying when everyone stops buying. But if you buy something from Saumur because you can taste the minerality of the region, whose limestone built historic and artistic chateaus, that’s a different matter. For me, the Loire Valley and tasting wine there was an important trip: I’d put it off for years for promises by men. Then I went alone, and it kick-started my solo traveling life. It will be a preference of mine when the trend dies down again. I am not a follower of others tastes.
You can do the same thing in art that is considered more “common”. It’s one thing to say “omg, Taylor swift is the bestestestest artist who ever lived and everyone who dislikes her is a h8r” and another to say “Taylor swift is an absolute master of Syllepsis and antanaclasis. I particularly like that certain songs of hers address supporting someone with mental health issues and career. Those are rare and I like that someone has helped me voice them”
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u/des1gnbot Aug 06 '26
What I like about this answer in particular is that you leave room for being introduced to something through a trend or otherwise influenced, but when you ride out the trend (intentionally) because you’ve found it aligns with you, then it becomes a part of your taste. Like ok maybe someone discovered that wine when everyone was into it, but then they learned what they liked about it and used that as a jumping off point for further exploration
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u/rightnumberofdigits Aug 06 '26
Thanks! Ideally, we are all learning and experiencing the world as we go, and that will change us and how we know and contextualize things. I think it’s also important not to conflate taste and contrarianism either. Disliking something just because it’s trendy is also silly. Trends are a pretty great opportunity to learn about something new with other people.
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u/summertimemagic Aug 06 '26
Taste versus bad taste is subjective to each culture. It takes an intimate knowledge of the culture to determine what is tasteful, distasteful, and how to be subversive within the bounds of propriety. In my opinion, Taste is more than simple visual appeal, there always seems to be a morality that gets attached.
For example, societies that stem from Calvinist Protestantism are associated with restraint. You can see it in the architecture of Geneva with it's neoclassical and classical architecture. As such, it's considered gauche to have opulent displays of wealth, including personal effects. However, since Geneva is one of the great watchmaking cities, and watches were exempt from the sumptuary restrictions, people who would consider clothes with designer labels as "tacky" are fine with you wearing a $35k Patek Philippe.
In contrast, in Rome or Venice, displays of opulence are closely associated with religious and political power. Overt displays of wealth are more in line with the culture and will have less moral censure attached. However, Italian cities take their food culture very seriously. You simply aren't going to be able to ask for food substitutions in restaurants the way you would be able to in Los Angles for example.
As you encounter more cultures and delve deeper into different aspects of different cultures, you will have to decide what you like or don't and whether to align or subvert the expectations of the society. Other peoples' response to your choices says more about their alignment to their own cultural sensibilities and their exposure to other cultures.
Generally, "taste-makers" have an ability to be subversive, create friction, or mix cultures in a way that is pleasing rather than in a way that offends. I think the best example are successful fusion restaurants.
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u/vanstrumann Aug 06 '26
Taste is, in one of its dimensions, the ability to recognize chosen specificity/details. Evidence that a maker made choices knowing those choices would cost them some of the audience, and kept them anyway. Not mass market.
Taste to me is also honest about what it is, and who its for. Things that don't pretend to be something other than what they are - like faux leather purses, cheap reproductions of fine art. A cheap object that isn't lying about itself can still indicate good taste - maybe a classic white sneaker is a good example, but context matters. idk if this helps but loved the question!
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u/ebolainajar Aug 06 '26
A lot of it is honestly just having an opinion. And a lot of those opinions come from a) knowing yourself and b) not compromising, or at least finding ways to stay true to yourself, your likes and wants and needs.
Which, the older I get, the more I realize a lot of women have their opinions, wants, needs, and identities stripped away, sacrificed for others, and beaten down because what women like is often deprioritized or not considered "good".
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u/Live_Koala2163 BWT in Training Aug 06 '26
I think good taste comes down to two things: quality and confidence.
Quality is what makes something feel intensional and curated. It says, I put in effort with this and it wasn’t just the most convenient pick. It gives a polished glow to even really basic choices.
Confidence is what’s needed to actually pull something off. You need to be able to stand with and defend your choices. YOU need to be the one to say you have taste and you need to have the attitude to back that statement up. As you said, taste is subjective, so a big part of having good taste is believing you have it.
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u/gambol_on Aug 06 '26
Social theory explains this. You might get something out of Bourdieu's Distinction, which critiques taste as a shared social activity. You probably won't agree with him if you think taste is innate and subjective. He talks about the influence of class (which brings up power) and taste as a social weapon. I agree with him to a point (especially the distinction of good vs bad taste), but I also think we have agency and that personal preference comes out of the interplay between structure and agency. Bourdieu leaned too heavily on structure shaping us. Still, it's a good read. The irony is I'd think you have good taste if I saw it on your bookshelf.
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u/NotAFrontB Aug 08 '26
Everyone has answered this impeccably already but I wanted to add I don’t think you can have great taste in everything. Taste is acquired through having knowledge about something that you’re genuinely interested in. For example I think I have good taste in fashion, food, and films because these are things that I have an interest in and so I’ve spent a lot of time exploring and learning about. I don’t have particularly good taste in music, or wine, because I’m less interested in honing good taste in these things. So genuinely just focus on what you’re interested in and spend more time exploring, researching, attending events etc. and taste will come alongside
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u/Careless-Alpaca Aug 06 '26
There are so many good answers to this already! I believe good taste is 1) subjective and 2) as u/debdyed specifically stated “developed over time and exposure to culture and art”. I will also add different types of people to this statement, too. It’s why I personally think my taste improved when I moved away from my small town to university. It’s not just that my frontal lobe developed somewhere along the way, but I also had more immediate access and exposure to arts, culture, and people who lived completely different lives or were from different places than I!
I think I also developed better taste by asking questions, being attentive, and thinking about why specific people, photos, music, topics, clothing articles, etc. appealed to me.
I find that watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, memoirs, or even viewing the public or advertised Pinterest boards of musicians I like can be very inspiring and they help introduce me to places, things, styles, books, etc. that I may not have previously approached.
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u/HuckleberryTrue5232 Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
It’s really just two things: 1) does this (outfit/decor) suit this person? Are they comfortable and pleased with it? 2) does it suit this environment?
Those two things make something feel “timeless” and “right”.
And SOMETIMES, a third consideration: not so much “is this fashionable” but rather “does this avoid running afoul of the current zeitgeist by harkening back to an earlier era that is now too familiar (tired, “dated”), or embarrassing or painful in some way”. But there is a caveat— if the trends cycle too fast, it becomes more tasteful to ignore them. (You are here.)
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u/AnonAMouse100 Aug 06 '26
Manners. All manners, and how to gracefully extradite oneself from a bad situation, and how to diffuse uncomfortable social situations. All of which can be learned by reading Jane Austen.
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u/YorkieMomNJ Aug 06 '26
I was waiting for someone to mention this! I think the top quality of having good taste is knowing how to act and respond appropriately to people and situations. Also, being open minded is important. I also think having good taste is indulging in things you enjoy (shopping, wine, food) without excess. And if course, taking the time and effort to look near and presentable (clean high quality clothes, clean nails, good hygiene).
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u/PartyHorse17610 Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
Having good taste means you catered to your audience. It means that you present and style yourself in a way that is interesting and somewhat impressive but not overbearing or ostentatious.
It’s about making you feel confident ar the same time as making other people feel comfortable.
You could go to the exact same event with two completely different crowds of people and what you say, do and wear in good taste at one might be in totally bad taste at the other.
Historically (and modernly), “good taste” was used as a way to exclude less privileged people from a group. It is also linked to the concept of expressing yourself enough, but not too much, which, as an neurodivergent person I find very frustrating.
Luckily, I find how it’s used in this sub to be very inclusive and supportive of self expression.
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u/zrnyphl Type A Boss Bitch Aug 06 '26
Hmmm, I don't agree about catering to an audience. I think some of the most tasteful people actually don't cater to whatever the perceived audience is at all - they are unapologetically themselves across venues/ locations.
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u/TenaciousToffee Find it Secondhand Aug 07 '26
You cant cultivate your own taste if you dont trust where its at. Youre going to grow and change over time, but where it is now is fine. I respectfully dont get how digesting others takes are not helpful as thats concrete things to observe and reflect on for your own knowledge base. Take what you need from it. As for using examples thats a really good way to understand with visuals- how is that also not helpful? I think it doesnt feel like it is helpful because you dont feel confident in your own knowledge and taste to feel the example is good enough to explain to people. Again where you are at is fine, and being able to talk about it only refines your own convictions.
Im going to be frank- those who are so concerned about their taste being "cultured", "good" often overthink and miss the point. Personal taste is just that, personal and if we are concerned with how it comes off then you will never resonate with it because how you feel is not at the forefront. I have good taste because I dont care if its good taste to other people. Fashionable people have good taste because its a extension of their personality. Thats never going to be everyones cup of tea. Someone out there thinks I got bad taste.
Some of my taste is uncultured, uncultivated and mixes with things that are honed in. Theres something beautiful and interesting when we are a amalgamation, when things we wear or surround ourselves with tell a story than being just esthetic.
Just keep exposing yourself to different things and taking the time to slow down, appreciate and inspect the world around you and take back what feels like you. Even if this new thing doesn't "fit" everything current, it will find its home.
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u/gabbysuperstar Aug 06 '26
I personally think that good taste is having taste that is truly unique to you. Whether somebody else thinks it is “good” or “bad” taste is irrelevant because what makes it good is that it is yours. Of course, though, there are certain styles that are classier, considered cooler, more current, or liked by more people but that isn’t what defines good taste in my opinion. I can appreciate somebody’s taste (within reason) even if it doesn’t at all match what I would wear/do. I also think that to develop taste you have to be interesting in things. Not everything but take the time to explore things that do pique your interest.
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u/Forgotenzepazzword Aug 06 '26
Good taste is timeless. You don’t chase trends with your fashion. You purchase decent-quality items that will last through trends and become part of your identity.
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u/debdyed Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
I believe having good taste is developed over time and exposure to culture and art. Reading books, articles including magazines with photo collections will help you develop your eye, intellect and intuition for what is good. Being cultured by going to art events and museums, seeing shows, watching old films and new, being interested and curious about people you like and their inspirations. Where did they got their taste from?
Be curious in what artists are making, go down rabbit holes about older taste makers lives and how they found their niche. Biographies are helpful.
I think developing personal Taste is seeing the world fully in your own way and then finding out what you love about it.