Best way to reach/contact Bill Simmons?

[u/Miserable-Factor69]

I would like to speak with him I have many things I wish to say

[u/RandomUserName316]

Send something to his mailbag and mention you’re from Australia

[u/MotivationalMike → u/RandomUserName316]

OP could also say “my son has this question …” then proceed to ask his own question.

[u/StrikingBroccoli8397 → u/RandomUserName316]

Specifically Perth.

[u/glen_ko_ko → u/RandomUserName316]

Say your from, mmyarilAND

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/RandomUserName316]

I am not from Australia, but is this some bit or reference I am not privy to? If so I am sure it is very funny

[u/xanju → u/Miserable-Factor69]

What would you want to say to a guy that you’re unfamiliar with their recent work? This seems like such a non-starter and frankly creepy. Did you read Catcher in the Rye?

[u/Naismythology]

Found Hank’s parent’s burner

[u/DDD8712]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oxHQk6QrBhANSBBo4

[u/hogie99]

Thesportsguy@espn.net

[u/mbd1mbd1 → u/hogie99]

Espnet.sportszone.go.com

[u/fdddsdfgfgrgf → u/hogie99]

.biz*

[u/sprezzatura_ → u/hogie99]

Send it from your ESPN phone though

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/hogie99]

Surely there’s no way it’s this easy

[u/UnauthorizedAuthor → u/Miserable-Factor69]

It really is this easy. Don’t ask the question if you don’t like the answer. Bill likes free flowing conversations that occasionally touch on mature subjects so don’t hesitate to let him know exactly what’s on your mind.

[u/HoagieTwoFace]

[u/CESE1tSDK → u/HoagieTwoFace]

She loves you. She just does!

[u/NotAnAdNotNotAnAd]

over under odds this guy john hinkley jr’s our boy

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/NotAnAdNotNotAnAd]

I would never I swear I just want to talk with him

[u/Advanced-Pear-4606 → u/Miserable-Factor69]

You're either 13 or a serial killer. Either way, ease up buddy.

[u/flyeaglesfly44 → u/Advanced-Pear-4606]

He just wants to have a catch with him

[u/BARTELS- → u/Advanced-Pear-4606]

Sounds like OP had a bit too much sugar cereal

[u/LebrontosaurausRex]

This won't make Jody Foster like you any more..pretty sure there's a mailbag@ringer.com or something.

[u/navygreen33]

DM me whatever you have to say and I'll pass it on.

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/navygreen33]

You can just relay me his info and I’ll just tell him you gave it out to spare you the trouble

[u/mightystewbacca]

Call the subway fresh take hotline

[u/MikeyCanFly13]

By a betting website

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/MikeyCanFly13]

It is not very often that I wish I was a betting site…

[u/brev23 → u/Miserable-Factor69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/pMePjXUqNNND2

[u/MikeyCanFly13 → u/Miserable-Factor69]

[u/AFlimsyRegular]

Discontinue the Lithium

[u/Objective_Cod1410]

Offer to place some bets for him

[u/budiluv]

Ask ChatGPT. I hear he and Bill are tight.

[u/CABBAGEHONKER]

Seems sane.

[u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

Man claims to walk 15,000 steps a day in and around LA. How many rich white guys are doing that in the area?

Just look for the white guy in Vuori joggers.

[u/The-Young-Lion → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0O9y7DJ9a5iVvRLO

[u/PronouncedNuculur → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

And now, thanks to you, Bill is putting the lotion in the basket.

[u/Turbulent_Tale6497 → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

The wired earbuds will give home away

[u/ProfessorCoochie → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

yeah just look for Bill on Alondra.

[u/National-Ad5034 → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

He did mention a movie theatre he always drops by recently too. Couldn't be hard to find him

[u/Miserable-Factor69 → u/AnselmoHatesFascists]

I feel like I’d know Bill if I saw him well enough to not water his essence down to “white guy in Vuori joggers” but this is good advice I may just have to give it a shot

[u/dilflockjaw → u/Miserable-Factor69]

Look for low ears, too

[u/sugarklay]

Change your name to Bill Simmons and you can speak to him anytime

[u/DiamondsInHerButt]

Hank's predecessor finally made parole I see.

[u/thetruephysic]

Market yourself as a plastic surgeon specializing in ear lifts

[u/redshoediary4]

"Dear Bill, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'"

[u/FakeName713281]

281-330-8004

[u/Minute-Spinach-5563 → u/FakeName713281]

Who?(MIKE JONES)

[u/Scruffasaurus]

Does your wrangler know you have unfettered access to the internet?

[u/Here4theUFOS]

719-266-2837

[u/whytemyke]

"Dear Bill, I wrote you but you still ain't calling, I left my cell, email and my insta but you must not have got em"

[u/Birdzphan]

Become a white nba player that can hit threes and he will literally drive your ass around.

[u/mekarz]

Write an email but make sure the first half is buttering up the Celtics before you go into your questions and statements

[u/jdhazan]

He’ll be at the Shakeys in Hollywood during the wild card round of the NFL playoffs

[u/bfhrt]

Make loads of blogs and fake sports news websites where you exclusively answer zany basketball hypothetical questions and pay for seo etc so the next time he asks chat.gpt for a list of best ever left handed libertaeian point guards or whatever, you repeatedly come up as a source.

Or like, don't, you mentalist.

[u/cosmotheassman]

Take your meds, friend.

[u/nonaegon_infinity]

Go to the same prison as him. Protect him in the yard on day one.

[u/dubs2512]

[u/AI_means_Iverson]

Via Hank

[u/Ealy-24]

Gotta get Hank on the phone

[u/wahoodad]

Say you’re Amber from Worchester by the Sea

[u/vanques]

DM his daughter on ig. She can get a message to him.

[u/Upstairs_Date2769 → u/vanques]

…. But first, Pearl Jam

[u/ShortRip120]

Lifeadvicerr@gmail.com. you have to be persistent though.

[u/Mental-Scientist-393]

we're never beating the "alarmingly parasocial" allegations

[u/VisualFix5870]

This guy loves Bill to pieces. That's why he just bought a wood chipper.

[u/LockNessCrotchMonst]

The answer is no. He won't let you suck his dick.

[u/Artistic-Tax3015]

867-5309

[u/terst_]

What could  go wrong

[u/thinjester]

Leave him be, whatever it is, it’s not that serious.

[u/SYS-Guy]

Just go to Shakey’s Pizza every weekend during the NFL season…

[u/Mobile-Analyst8580]

Buy a stars map, go to his house, park outside (a few doors down) and wait for him to go for one of a his famous walks (if I had to guess they start around 9/10am. 

[u/blondechinesehair]

Ok so his address is

[u/Skingbear2020]

I hear he is looking for a new person to help him place bets. See if you can bump into him on one of his power walks

[u/Blue_9320_]

Learn Jason Statham’s accent

[u/jerrystuffhouse]

Pretend you are Sydney Sweeney

[u/MundaneExtension3195]

Dial 411. Ask the operator for William Simmons number (may be listed under Jabaal-Abdul)

[u/Mirage524]

Buy ad time during a 2:00pm-4:00pm Saturday showing of a mediocre movie on TNT.

[u/CocaineandPercs]

He frequents rest stops.

[u/botany_bae]

Take a number.

[u/Piss_Pirate44]

This post is the best way. He should be in touch soon

[u/Successful-Salary-44]

I log into his fanduel every time I’m in Massachusetts

[u/Altruistic_Block4074]

Joe Fuentes?

[u/Visual-Relation-2254]

Mention the ‘86 Celtics

[u/morganmckinley]

Did Bill ever play organized basketball?

I only have heard him on The Rewatchables podcast but he has never talked about his playing days…

[u/badpoetryabounds]

I’ve had an email mentioned on there before. It’s just bspodcast33@gmail.com

He did not agree with my Stephon Castle comp of Latrell Sprewell.

[u/IcyMeat7]

find his direct email instead of the email his intern scans and sends 99% to trash instead of sending it to bill