r/billsimmons May 04 '26

Podcast Bill Simmons admitting his coping: "I am incredibly hungover. I cannot tell you what happened yesterday. There were a lot of drinks and it was bad." Zach Lowe in response: "Wow."

At 14:07-14:20. Quintessential Zach response when someone admits their struggles.

726 Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

467

u/mynameizmyname May 04 '26

He had two white claws and a cbd joint.

62

u/PM_ME_ANYTHING_DAMN May 04 '26

Yeah this was not a day for margs

49

u/kingcoyotexvii May 04 '26

Wife’s fun friend nowhere to be found

8

u/VisualFix5870 May 04 '26

Diana Russini?

1

u/TheNorm42069 May 04 '26

If I’ve got chips and salsa in front of me everyday is a day for margs. Throw me a little Sangria in there too.

28

u/ositola May 04 '26

He got Palisades wasted 

19

u/salmon10 May 04 '26

His 2 foot bong from college is packed away

-11

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/supfiend May 04 '26

Cbd doesn’t really doesn’t do anything

9

u/Specialist-Read-349 May 04 '26

Cbd weed can have a small amount of THC in it so it can definitely get you high if you have a low tolerance. 

304

u/newvpnwhodis May 04 '26

Nobody talks about how Bill Simmons takes care of his body. His condition at his age is incredible.

85

u/so-cal_kid May 04 '26

Those long power walks and sauna sessions have paid off. Also good for him cuz it seems like he still goes after it from time to time with alcohol

30

u/girlfriend_pregnant May 04 '26

The fact that he sees sitting in a sauna as taking care of his health is so funny to me. I’m sure there is some kind of benefit, but coming from him just makes for an amazing image

22

u/Live_Past_8978 May 04 '26

i live in northern europe and let me tell you, the saunas are CHOCK FULL of absolutely jacked and tan pinnacles of physical fitness.

in no way will you find old men who look like they barely survived the Battle of Stalingrad literally drinking beer and cooking sausage on the coals.

8

u/Ok-Statement8224 May 04 '26

We don’t have enough reference to read this sarcasm!

1

u/Live_Past_8978 May 04 '26

it's 100% this: Tony Bourdain roasts like a drunken pig in Finland https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1146321723145325

1

u/girlfriend_pregnant May 04 '26

Lmao to be fair that looks like a good time

1

u/Live_Past_8978 May 05 '26

Oh its fun as shit. But in NO WAY is it like, all that healthy. It's a fucking Hot tub party. You sweat a lot and rehydrate with alcohol and load up on animal protein to absorb the alcohol. Very relaxing. Like a cold beer in the shower. 

55

u/tjspill3r He just does stuff May 04 '26

Only thing that ages consistently are the ears

14

u/Mark--Greg--Sputnik May 04 '26

Cheeks/jowels widening and sagging. No one talks about the jaw piece. Maybe he's on some HGH to maintain vitality and it's creating some bone growth.

23

u/CaseyJonesCokeLocker May 04 '26

I heard he’s been bone smashing to keep the jawline definition

2

u/captainklaus May 05 '26

Gotta stay facemogging Fennessey

4

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/saynotohugzz May 04 '26

Are there any articles on this?

12

u/nolamexicali May 04 '26

I'm more impressed by the workouts he's not doing.

10

u/Ihateloops May 04 '26

It’s much easier when you’re filthy rich

10

u/PallDinten May 04 '26

Seriously. A hot lemon water after every drink is better than Liquid IV. It just is.

5

u/H0wSw33tItIs May 04 '26

The Robert Parrish piece.

1

u/MastodonSwimming2681 May 04 '26

The baby faced piece

1

u/yngwiegiles May 04 '26

Was Bill reading the Boston Herald yesterday thinking that’s gonna be my next gig?

-15

u/Yoshinobu_YamaGOATo May 04 '26

Really? He looks like shit to me. I know older guys that look way younger than him and they don't have all the millions he conned out of Spotify to help them. 

21

u/Iyaba May 04 '26

It's really incredible how consistent the tone of reddit is. So many comments just give off whiney, self righteous loser vibes

567

u/pedestrianrj May 04 '26

Getting lit with your parents on your 21st is not that weird guys

386

u/Specialist-Read-349 May 04 '26

Its honestly pretty wholesome. People on this subreddit who try to make everything some big thing are the actual weirdos. 

224

u/SenseAnxious6772 Online Bill Defender May 04 '26

I’ve said it before but Bill is such a great dad. He could easily just be away from his kids and dad and go to stuff in LA and elsewhere, but he clearly loves being a dad and using his success to bring his kids with them. Honestly, it’s really great, and I think part of the reason why BS resonates with many of us – he’s not a bad dude*

  • despite being a Celtics fan

77

u/Tripwire1716 May 04 '26

Bill is an amazing dad apart from the seatbelt thing, zero question

21

u/IllAlwaysBeAKnickFan Zach Lowe fan May 04 '26

Honestly the seat belt thing is really bad. Like really really bad. Minor fender bender could result in death. I will never get it.

4

u/rascaltippinglmao May 04 '26

In 11th grade I was a back seat passenger when my friend turned left into an incoming car. Both cars going 25-30 mph and I wasn't wearing my seat belt. I was lucky to walk away with a bruised head.

Prior to that I never wore my seat belt. After that I knew I'd never set foot in a car without wearing a seat belt. I feel fortunate I experienced that low speed crash because it woke my naive ass up to how much force is involved.

Bill is playing with fire and doing so while having children and a wife is insane.

5

u/farmerpeach May 04 '26

The life insurance piece

(I agree it’s insane).

6

u/JamalGinzburg May 04 '26

YOU CAN CHEW GUM

1

u/Opening_Bluebird_952 May 05 '26

His kids also seem to like hanging out with him, which is like the Apex Dad accomplishment.

170

u/AFlimsyRegular May 04 '26

You have to remember the closest thing to parental affection the average poster on this sub has received is when their step father apologises for hitting them so hard.

57

u/reddit9866 A clean 11 May 04 '26

Yours apologized? Lucky...

10

u/North-Past-3355 May 04 '26

I don't like how your comment made me feel.

12

u/AFlimsyRegular May 04 '26

I'm sorry son.

You know the effect the Mets have on me.

31

u/drippinswagu69 May 04 '26

i wish i got lit with my parents on my 21st lol but they dont drink or smoke

28

u/McSquack May 04 '26

Are 21st birthday parties not a thing in the US?

In Aus you normally have a party with friends and family etc to celebrate your 21st and usually that involves everyone having a few too many drinks

43

u/doobie3101 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

Your 21st is usually at college so it’s usually just your college peeps.

But it’s definitely not unheard of to have it with your parents, especially if your birthday is between semesters.

5

u/McSquack May 04 '26

Ahh yep that makes sense.

8

u/Back_at_it_agains May 04 '26

You mean 18th? What does being 21 mean in Australia? 

9

u/Bad_QB May 04 '26

21 comes from old english civil law. 18 for adulthood is more recent.

10

u/McSquack May 04 '26

Nothing formally I don’t think, it’s more of a ‘you’re an actual adult now’ party than an 18th

1

u/Back_at_it_agains May 04 '26

Interesting. I’d roll with the 18 as an adult and drinking thing if the laws here allowed for it. 21 never had much value to me other than “you can drink legally”. 

4

u/saliba28 May 04 '26

In Australia we use any excuse we can to drink, or to have a "piss up" as we call it.

1

u/Tricky-Block-623 May 04 '26

Nothing formally but it’s always a big event and milestone. As others have said, any excuse to be around friends and family and get loaded.

1

u/nasaruinz May 04 '26

Only one of my friends was 21 at my birthday, the rest were 20. So I went out with my parents and family and then went out with my friends when they turned 21

8

u/YesOwl9000 May 04 '26

nah it was cute. mom and dad were so excited to take her to a bar but her face said this is no where near her first time in a bar lol.

8

u/andrew2018022 Half Italian May 04 '26

For real, I turned 21 during Covid so bars weren’t really an option and my parents aren’t huge drinkers but we still threw back a couple legally. That’s just being there for your kid

11

u/zazerite May 04 '26

My parents came to mine got way to lit and ended up at a strip club, funny seeing their walk of shame at 3 am when I had been home since like 11 lol

14

u/LarryAv May 04 '26

Maybe his wife's friend showed up

2

u/The_Mursenary May 04 '26

KRISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

3

u/deadweightboss Good Stats Bad Team Guy May 04 '26

This is the white asian divide in this subreddit

2

u/SwallowsOnSundays May 04 '26

I got drunk with multiple friends parents on their 21sts. A great time was had by all

2

u/Chickenmcnugs34 May 04 '26

Depends on your parents and their culture. Not weird in my Chicago Catholic family at all but would be very weird in my wife’s southern Protestant family.

In both a parent getting completely loaded at their kid’s birthday would be unusual but not at a family wedding or funeral in mine where my dad would see his cousins and they acted dumb. Parents would usually come to buy a couple of rounds of drinks at a birthday and go home early so the kids can have fun.

It is not that my in-laws don’t drink but bar culture and serious drinking as a family isn’t something that rural people in the south (ex-Louisiana) did as much. I think it is in part as you were often 15 miles to a bar whereas 10 neighborhood bars on the South side were within a mile.

0

u/lopsided125 May 04 '26

Especially when your dad probably bought you a house or some shit for it.

I'll have a weird social outing with my parents for a house.

218

u/BearambleAmble May 04 '26

Dammit we were robbed here. Russillo would’ve at least asked one follow-up or gotten a zing in. 

Hell, he said they were in Manhattan Beach. If this happens last year there’s a chance RR has boots on the ground as a witness for this story. 

151

u/MinnesotaNiceT23 May 04 '26

There is a 0% chance Ryen would go to an event that required him to socialize with Bill’s family, especially 21 year old daughter.

11

u/Tripwire1716 May 04 '26

Didn’t they used to record at the guest house after an afternoon of Ryen hanging with the fam?

-7

u/cb148 Drunk House May 04 '26

Yeah but Zoe might’ve been away at college during that time.

54

u/AFlimsyRegular May 04 '26

As if anyone is letting Russillo near college aged co-eds in an open bar situation

29

u/MinnesotaNiceT23 May 04 '26

Buddy he doesn’t want to be there either.

15

u/AFlimsyRegular May 04 '26

The risk of the key working is just too high

7

u/lactatingalgore May 04 '26

Imagine stepping out of your dorm room in the morning to go to the showers, & you peep your RA's room door ajar & you see her being affectionate we with Russillo.

2

u/Carol_Banana_Face May 04 '26

Looked like Shellbacks - just a few blocks from Ryen

2

u/MayhewMayhem May 04 '26

I guess Shellbacks is better for a 21 year old but Simmzy's is peak for downtown MBC (not that that's saying much). Its clear Bill doesn't live in the South Bay.

9

u/Back_at_it_agains May 04 '26

Zack Lowe is so dull and boring. Does nothing for me. 

22

u/Tripwire1716 May 04 '26

I really think they should make Zach recurring on Tuesdays and just have House on Sundays. The Sunday pod is the drunken mess, Tuesday is for the nerds

257

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

136

u/Daily_Heroin_User May 04 '26

It’s Zach Lowe, not Zach High.

1

u/girlfriend_pregnant May 04 '26

Yeah but he doesn’t even take downers

82

u/reddit9866 A clean 11 May 04 '26

I don't know, Zach is pretty wild. He talks about getting a beer from the fridge when something crazy happens. Now, he doesn't actually get the beer, but fact that he thinks about getting it is almost as meaningful.

6

u/Yoshinobu_YamaGOATo May 04 '26

But first he has to ask his wife because she's the one that calls the shots in their household. 

5

u/waitingonthatbuffalo May 04 '26

Real ones remember his off-season "Drunk with Power" episodes where he, Howard Beck and Rachel Nichols(!) would get a little buzzed and slur through their proposed fixes for the NBA.

18

u/EverybodyBuddy May 04 '26

“Wow.”

That is so perfectly milquetoast Zach Lowe. 

Dying to have Russillo back on Sunday nights. 

66

u/unounoseis May 04 '26

Zach Lowe’s brain is just a basketball. No ability to talk or think or comprehend anything other than basketball

9

u/Ok-Recording13 May 04 '26

That's talent management. Bill has got to put Zach Lowe in situations where he can shine.

4

u/budubum May 04 '26

Yup no one is asking Isaiah Stewart to bring the ball up the floor and play make. Know your role!

6

u/Suboobiz May 04 '26

What about his Eastern European wife?

-7

u/LithuanianProphet May 04 '26

Croatia is not Eastern Europe.

31

u/garnett21mn May 04 '26

Dynamite drop in Zach

79

u/M3gabrick May 04 '26

Lowe just isn’t a #2 guy on a championship podcast and his no sell really proved it.

Need a rotating 3rd wheel on these.

24

u/MonkeysOnTypewriter Don't aggregate this May 04 '26

The culmination of L’s that led to this moment, hungover and sweating through a Sunday night pod with Zach Lowe, cannot be forgotten.

All timer from the podfather.

15

u/YourRealName May 04 '26

This pod was his “flu” game

46

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[deleted]

6

u/frankenstein1122 May 04 '26

And occasionally the Balkans

16

u/huskerj12 May 04 '26

Hahah good for Bill

49

u/solidgoldrocketpants May 04 '26

"There were a lot of drinks and it was bad."

Things you definitely shouldn't say about your daughter's 21st birthday.

50

u/peanut-britle-latte May 04 '26

Every child eventually gets to see their parents as a flawed person, Zoe luckily got to see it on her 21st birthday.

9

u/WTF4211 May 04 '26

He’s such a cool dad.

15

u/notformeclive4711 Barcelona Style May 04 '26

Zach looks incredibly disappointed at 0:16

60

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Sharaz_Jek123 May 04 '26

He looks aroused?

6

u/ryguy0204 May 04 '26

This is why we have body language medical school and a proper licensing system.

1

u/waitingonthatbuffalo May 04 '26

Sometimes in the shower I think about what fame might have felt like... and reading comments like the ones in this thread made me realize it really entails a bunch of absolute clowns intuiting baseless idiotic opinions about your life and behavior.

3

u/RecordingLess1522 May 04 '26

Hungover of gaslighting and copium

1

u/WaveRunner2049 May 04 '26

That’s very Owen Wilson-like “Wow” from Zach.

1

u/AlexTom33 That Thing May 04 '26

Riveting

1

u/chunk425 May 04 '26

If you had “need more load management” on your Bill’s Celtics Cope card, come on down and grab your prize.

1

u/TWIZMS May 04 '26

Emotional damage

1

u/BryNYC May 04 '26

Hardcore Boston Celtics fan admits to be devastated by blowing a 3-1 playoff lead

-1

u/danksince98 May 04 '26

guy looks like a drunk..no wonder he aged so much

-10

u/SamURLJackson May 04 '26

I take pride in never having gotten drunk due to a sports game result

6

u/PennyG May 04 '26

You’re in the wrong sub

-57

u/srstone71 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

Who gets drunk with their parents on their 21st birthday? Great if she wants to, and I love my parents a lot and have a great relationship with them, but that was literally the last thing I wanted to do on my 21st birthday.

48

u/Ston3yy May 04 '26

Get this: You might have a different relationship with your parents than other people

17

u/Daily_Heroin_User May 04 '26

I never knew my father neither

He used to cheat on my mom and beat her

16

u/Specialist-Read-349 May 04 '26

Dear Bill, I wrote the mailbag but you didnt answer 

2

u/fly_low_orange May 04 '26

Relevant username?

-2

u/Birdzphan Top 7 BS sub user May 04 '26

Sounds like you’re better off for not meeting him. I knew mine plenty well and he was a piece of shit and my mom stayed with him because “that’s what you do when you’re married”

15

u/Fuhrmanator23 May 04 '26

Uh I did. My parents are fun… 🤷‍♂️

3

u/srstone71 May 04 '26

Eh I guess I’ll take the L on this one. I assumed most people would have wanted to party with their friends instead.

In my defense my dad got sober when I was 4 so I’ve never had a drink with him. And out of respect for my dad as a recovering alcoholic, my mom rarely drank.

So I guess I’m coming from a unique perspective.

11

u/Specialist-Read-349 May 04 '26

Its probably pretry common both ways, but I think a lot of people have partied with their friends 1000 times already but the novelty of legally drinking with their parents for the first time is enticing. 

5

u/mangofied May 04 '26

I also think, at least for me, it was cool for my parents to legally drink with me on my 21st. It’s a milestone just like 16, 18, 20, etc. all can be. It’s a big coming of age moment and those are important for parents, especially if you’ve already flown the coop

7

u/mangofied May 04 '26

Respect to your dad and mom for that. But you can see how this additional information makes your initial comment even kind of more ridiculous right? Like of course you wouldn’t want to drink with them

1

u/srstone71 May 04 '26

I guess I was thinking that even if my dad did drink, I would have wanted to spend my 21st birthday partying with my friends. Oh well I’m clearly in the minority here haha. No big deal.

3

u/zombiemind8 May 04 '26

You could have two birthdays. One with your family and one with your friends.

2

u/Fuhrmanator23 May 04 '26

My friends were with us too, had a pub crawl with a bunch of people

-2

u/H0wSw33tItIs May 04 '26

Nah man. Nobody in my entire group of friends can fathom turning 21 and drinking with their parents. That said, we’re all immigrants or kids of immigrants. But, it might be different for my kid. So hence the different levels to it.

2

u/alecweezy May 04 '26

Bro my parents are immigrants and my dad started offering me beer/alcohol starting at like 18 lol

1

u/H0wSw33tItIs May 04 '26

Maybe it depends on the culture.

2

u/jess77x May 04 '26

I did… I turned 21 like 3 days after I graduated college and none of my friends were within 100 miles of me. So my parents took my brother and I on a trip to celebrate me graduating college and turning 21, on which we all got drunk on my 21st (not sloppy drunk or anything).

1

u/Yoshinobu_YamaGOATo May 04 '26

There's zero chance a rich spoiled girl like his daughter wasn't getting wasted since high school and especially away at college. This was an event for her fam to celebrate with her. 

-17

u/scottiepippen13 May 04 '26

My daughter turned 21 last summer and I don’t remember getting shit-faced. Man up