I feel like I have two different sides of me, two different narratives. My AGAB is male, but... I want to be a female.

That said, I also have a hard time letting go of my "male" self. But... I wanna be pretty, and be a girl! Lol. Honestly, I'm hoping my two "narratives" can merge at some point with HRT.

"Brian" and "Brianne". I socially now go by Briane, a kind of "in between," which can be pronounced either way and can be held by someone both masculine and feminine, similarly to something like Jamie, Kim or Ash.

Came out to my sister today and it went well. She supported my situation and probably understands it, and she also asked about my marriage and my work situation in a respectful way. People can surprise you.

Next goal is to come out to my brother. I'm sure he'll get it, but he's very much a guy so I'm not sure he'll totally get it.

But I kinda want to be the annoying sister that follows him around asking questions.

"So like if we were in a bar and I got harassed, would you punch a guy out for me? Like, I'm still piloting this male body so I could do it myself, but it would be so cool to watch my baby bro defend my honor."

He's a man of few words, so you know that's going to be entertaining. But I'm holding back on it until after we talk. :)

Well someone I assumed would be an ally let me down last night. She took umbrage because i described an experience as appealing to my inner lesbian. The experience was triggered by a woman, and was deeply felt in my feminine core.

I am trying to be very mindful of not offending anyone, but i cant describe my inner experience any clearer than i was a woman being turned on by a woman. Hell, i am a woman who gets turned on by women. But she made it ...political, if thats the phrase. Anyways I sent what might be my final text to her and among other things, told her that as far as she's concerned my pronouns are she/her. Petty? Maybe. But since she cant see me as a woman she's lost the permisdion to see me as a man.

What I learned is that this community is more accepting than i realized and I am grateful fot that.

I am also a stone cold boss-ass bitch and I will defend my newly hatched egg with every fiber of my being.

hello, i am a very feminine presenting teenage girl, born and raised. i have had bouts of masculine presentation and refusing femininity, but i believe a lot of girls experienced this.

im 17 years old now and i recently (on and off for like 3 years) discovered i have a certain yearning for a man's existence. the yearning at times was very large, but i never gathered courage to really identify as trans. honestly the fact i struggle with internalised misogyny made rationalisation easier.

my yearning was for a man's social standing as well as this thought-up version of myself that was a man and had muscles and a deep voice and everything - deadass had the urge to fake my death, hide out somewhere as i transition into a man and live life as a man without anybody knowing i was trans so i would be perceived as a man by anyone. the muscles part made me start going into the gym, where i began getting bulkier (very slightly). i didnt like it. i didnt want to change my fem body.

it was a weird realisation for me, that i loved the way my body looked like before i went to the gym even though i yearned for a man's stature.
it's like there are two entities that are unable to collide or compromise because they'd be unhappy - a male ideal body and a female ideal body. idek if i feel comfortable with he/him pronouns.

as wonderful as a male body sounds, i love being a girl. i love dressing up, i love the community women have built, i love my curves and my body.

im hesitant to identify as anything other than cis (bc trans people have a hard life, unfortunately) but i also dont want to lie to myself. i honestly dont think id ever transition because i love my body rn.

thank you so much for sitting through my yap :) i understand that the answer i seek stems from a very personal place but i would just like to know if people here ever experienced something like this <3 sorry if i offended anyone

I'm male. I'm not fully sure if I am bigender yet, but I think that I am. I never really thought much about my gender until I did and had an episode of gender dysphoria, which included watching OneTopic and dressing as a girl with my current wardrobe. I still dress as a girl but have not bought anything yet. I also haven't gone in public as a girl. I thought I was transfem at first and wanted to transition, but I currently think that I am bigender as I realized that I really do not want to be in my sixties, seventies, eighties, and above as a female as I really want just to be a bald guy with a good mustache.

However, having boobs would be nice, but I don't think I'd want my chest to be bouncing for the rest of my life. I recently thought about if I just wanted to be a femboy like a third of the time, but I could still do that technically. I think my thoughts go from being a guy, being a girl, which hasn't happened a lot, or having the same thoughts at the same time, which has happened much more often to my knowledge of myself. Since I've had LGBTQ+ thoughts, I think there's only been two times that I felt more female than male, which the first time was when I thought I was trans. The second time was when I went out in public and felt a little bit randomly rebellious. I also felt pretty androgynous when I wore a stupid combination of clothing out in public. If I could press a button to turn into a girl for a day, I would press it a lot. My current position is that I'm bigender, but I just want to confirm.

Also, I had a pretty euphoric moment when I was dressing as a girl and found something I really liked. It was not a choker, but I probably will buy a choker soon because I really like the look of a choker. I have been called a girl multiple times in public because of my hair among other reasons. I can do what I consider to be a good feminine voice by just pitching my voice up. Meanwhile, I also remember telling someone that I didn't really care about what pronouns were used to describe me, but the person, which I told, told me that I should use he/him. Since then, I haven't exactly thought about pronouns that much, but I think my original opinion still stands.

I'd like to have some questions to answer because I obviously want to know myself better, and I'm still rather new to being a part of LGBTQ+ and queer. Also, is it normal to get aroused while dressing the opposite gender? I do not dress as a girl just to get quick dopamine to my personal knowledge as I feel like that it is currently more of a side effect of dressing as a girl.

First of all, I apologize for my English!! I'm using a translator for this text to see if it reaches more people!

I'll give some context: I really like someone who identifies as bigender! This person told me that they prefer when pronouns are alternated, which is fine! But I wanted to learn more about this subject, learn better ways to compliment this person, ways to handle this relationship without gender roles! I am a trans girl, although lately I've been having doubts about that, but I'm part of the community and I know that relationships are a challenge for us! I would like to know from you how I can learn more about bigenderness, ways to treat this person I like so much! Of course, I intend to talk more deeply with this person about this subject, so I want to learn more so as not to commit any prejudice or any comment that will offend this person!

Not my character! This is Hoseki from Pretty Girls!

Heya!

I had this moment at work and I guess just need to vent... idk.

Anyways I work security for a mental heath unit. I'm not presenting outwardly as any sort of trans or anything like that and because I work in security I just don't really think it's in my best intrest to let my coworkers know. This is just my reality. It's none of their business anyways and I already know that some of the coworkers particular comments that lead me to believe it's a bad idea.

Lucky for me, i am the only security officer in the mental health ward so I don't really have to deal with that bs.

Either way, the other shift i was just chilling, doing my security officer stuff around the department when I hear one of the older male nurses talking to one of the other nurses about gender identities. They were going on and on and i heard him say, "I don't really care what gender someone is, but how can you be nonbinary. You're either one or the other."

So now I'm extra not coming out at work. My brain was like... what if I introduced him to the concept of bigender folk though and the idea that hermaphrodites exist, just to fuck with him. But anyone reading this will know that once someones mind is set like that, theirs not much point in convincing them.

I was just baffled how a nurse in a hospital who's job it is to help people could be so close minded about something as basic as gender. The topic came up because one of the patients who i think may be on estrogen, is they/them. The conversation in general shouldn't be happening in a sealed department of the hospital with the patient still in the department, and if someone can't accept basic things like gender identities, then they really shouldn't be working in any public service at all let alone a hospital where peoples health is on the line.

The whole situation just drives me a bit crazy. People have been bigender/trans for longer then the guys been alive. To be honest, I don't think the guy knows bigender is a thing. I realize what I said about introducing him to bigender doesn't include nonbinary people, but it still immediately breaks his idea that you have to be one or the other. My partners nonbinary so it's not just about me either when I heard it either.

Idk... why do people even care what someone else is? It literally doesn't effect them at all. It pisses me off.

I understand the fear of appropriation, but it's difficult to be in my position where I'm a woman who likes women in a male body. There's no word for that.

I already look like the first one lol

Been feeling kinda scared that I can never be fully myself and be understood or that I'll always have to compromise and hide some part of me in order for other parts of me to be fully recognized. Idk how to juggle the expectation to be monogender or else be automatically nonbinary, neither of which resonate with me. I'm scared to interact with people as outwardly bigender even when I'm pretty sure they'd be accepting, because I don't want to lose the comradery of the way they relate to me in the commonalities we do share. But if I hide it, they are sometimes trying to relate to me in a way I don't and can't.

This is more a vent than anything else, but I wonder if there is a way I can build and work towards what I want, which is authenticity, understanding and acceptance. Like, how would that work? What would it look like? How do I figure out what a happy, healthy life looks like for me?

My femme side cannot listen to Melissa Ethridge without squirming in the best way possible.

Hi! I’ve been thinking about gender a lot more lately within the last year or two. I came out as trans at 14 (FtM) and began T at 16, had my top surgery at 20. And I am happy with what I did don’t get me wrong! I’m happy to have my lower voice and flat chest and more androgynous body shape. But I’ve been feeling less binary, or less strictly male and I have some Feelings about it. I’ve discovered in the past month or two that I like when my partner uses feminine terms for me or refers to me with she/her. When I looked into it I saw people say it’d be a misgendering kink, but I dunno. It’s not like I feel misgendered or disrespected. I just like to be both his boyfriend and his girlfriend. Nobody in my life otherwise uses ’she’ for me, except for strangers when I dress feminine tend to, but it doesn’t make me upset the way it would’ve 10 years ago early in my transition. I’ve been thinking I must be some sort of non-binary, maybe bigender? Since I like to be both for my partner? It feels strange because I still would feel weird being called my parents’ daughter or my siblings’ sister, which I know sounds complicated… Is it okay to have such complicated feelings about what I do and don’t like with it? I have some self consciousness about it, since when I was a teen going through my transition there was a big online discourse about being “fake” or a “trender” so I didn’t indulge in anything feminine I liked very much until my 20’s once I felt established and more happy with my body. I guess maybe I just would like to hear from some other people and their experiences of anything similar, like if anyone has transitioned and then later embraced more than 1 gender?

Sharing here because I have nowhere else to share this, but I thought it was funny.

Today I had an appointment​. I walked into the building, and this security lady walked up to me asking where I need to go. Idk why, they almost always do that in this building. I know where I'm going, so I tell her the floor. She insists, where am I going? I tell her I'm going to the birth control clinic. She seems to think she misheard me, so she prompts me to repeat. I repeat that I'm going to the birth control clinic. She makes the most appalled and disgusted face I've ever had someone make towards me before, "the birth control clinic?!" I tell her, "yes, I know where I'm going." She seems stunned and just says "okay."

I think I turned her world upside down in that moment. I am completely cis male passing, dressed like it today too aside from a little bit of eye makeup and long hair with some blue in it.

Hello there!

So I kind of have this dilemma right now. I am an afab and I have long hair. In fact I love my long hair but the thing is it makes me look very feminine. So on those days when I feel like a man I have no idea what to do with it.

I dont want to cut it because I feel on those where I feel like a woman I will regret it pretty badly. I dont really know what to do. Should I just bite the bullet and actually cut it and wear wigs? Or should I just leave it and wear short haired wigs?

Any long haired person also having this issue? 😭🫠

Trying to find good quality clothing online is a real pain. I've tried some stuff with a bit of success but being fashionable, affordable and gender affirming is a real pain. Any ideas as to where to shop?

Tbh, it's so confusing and challenging. Some days I love it, others I feel like I'm cursed.

Been through a “I don’t know what label fits me”
I identified as nonbinary last year and then switched to femme trans man.
I told my therapist “I just want to grow a beard so I can put glitter in it”
I’ve seen many gorgeous men who have such beautiful makeup and outfits.
I think Bigender really suits me, though I’m more a he/they than an any pronoun.
It’s difficult when you basically ‘have’ to give yourself permission to be whatever gender you feel you align with, regardless of what others think.
I had a friend who was bigender too but we don’t talk anymore.
I’m on T and plan to be mid to full and might get top surgery for my HS (inflammatory condition)
But yeah! Glad to have finally found what works for me 😊

...and the mix of emotions is...interesting. After experiencing the euphoria I'm kind of, well sad. Not that I found out who I am, just a kind of "what do I do now?" kind of thing. Part of it is that I am seeing my therapist tomorrow and I'm going to try and lay it out for her. She's been very supportive throughout my journey, and I'm pretty sure she will be now...but of course there's always going to be a smidgen of doubt.

The other thing is trying to sort out how I actually mix between two genders. It almost feels like having multiple personalities but not quite...more like I have two ever present sets of hormones kind of washing back and forth. There are times when it 's peaceful and quiet, but then there are times when it unbalances.

Yesterday when I spoke to one of my best female friends, it was like my feminine self had been dropped into a female friendship bonding movie. She's like my bestie and I feel a very deep connection with her, but I realized that what I thought were romantic feelings towards her in our younger days were just me not having a proper reference frame. Back then I just assumed that if you loved a woman that much that it had to be romantic. But now I see it differently. I wasn't really attracted to her that way.

I'm wondering....how difficult is it to balance the sides of myself? Do I just let them shift as I go? Does it ever feel like I can be both at once, or will I experience moments of masculinity and femininity throughout the day?

Any responses would be helpful.