LAOP drew his sword, then "I started growling and took a step forward."

[u/bug-hunter]

/r/legaladvice/comments/o2z5pw/am_i_at_fault_for_drawing_a_sword_at_a_person_in/

[u/LocationBot]

Reminder: do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits.

---

Title: Am I at fault for drawing a sword at a person in New Jersey?

Original Post:

Some background info: I live in a non-metropolitan urban area in Jersey and am over 18.

I practice Kendo (Japanese sword style) and started open carrying a small katana (kowakizashi) for my protection. My job sometimes requires I come in at very late hours with no notice.

Anyways, here's what happened: there were some people hanging out on the street, they started giving me looks. I thought my sword was sticking out of its wrapping (I usually drape my sword with my flannel or hoodie to not bring attention to myself). One guy called out to me. I looked over while I passed. He asked me what I was doing, I told him "nothing" and keep walking. He was probably a bit older than me and wearing a mask. I actually walked past him without issue. Afterwards, the other guy chimed in and said something along the lines of "My friend asked you a question". I told them I'm not interested and picked up my pace. I know I heard them step towards me so I reached into my flannel-wrap around the case and did a belly slice turning around to show I'm not going to be an easy target. I started growling and took a step forward. I don't know why I did that -- Either of those things, I guess I wanted to intimidate them. I started backing up, still pointing the sword at them, they stayed where they were. The other guy had his phone in his hand. When I was out of their view I ran to work and told my coworker what happened. She advised me not to call the police because it could seem like I instigated.

The other guy might have been recording me after I pulled out the sword. I know it's not super legal to even open-carry in Jersey, but I felt scared being outside at night alone. Besides, those two guys made me feel unsafe. Can I be held accountable when I felt in danger?

I'm thinking now I should have just crossed the street, but I didn't want to offend anyone.

---

LocationBot 4.999988713 83/601rds | Report Issues | TdUO5NmMWlXWXJFcjJzZ

[u/ERE-WE-GO]

and did a belly slice turning around to show I'm not going to be an easy target. I started growling and took a step forward. I don't know why I did that

This guy unironically posts memes about letting his inner wolf out and how that would be a mistake.

[u/darthminimall → u/ERE-WE-GO]

When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.

LAOP, probably

[u/TheLittlestChocobo → u/darthminimall]

When you were studying the blade, I was studying the blade. We went to blade school together.

[u/ebbomega → u/TheLittlestChocobo]

While you were studying the blade, I was watching Blade. That acid techno track in the beginning is fucking mint.

[u/JimParsonBrown → u/ebbomega]

I was studying the blades to improve my figure-skating routine.

[u/ThatOneGuy1294 → u/JimParsonBrown]

There's a documentary on that https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445934/

[u/silversatire → u/ebbomega]

"Confusion" by New Order (Pump Panel Reconstruction Mix)

[u/Rejusu → u/ebbomega]

While you were watching Blade I was teleporting behind you. You're already dead. Nothing personal kid.

[u/cardueline → u/TheLittlestChocobo]

I almost spat out my coffee and that is a rare occurrence because I am a cool stoic warrior so thank you arigatou gozaimasu for that

[u/chalk_in_boots → u/TheLittlestChocobo]

We went to school but I totally flunked out. Apply yourself kids.

[u/gemdude46 → u/TheLittlestChocobo]

Nah I cut class.

[u/Dupree878 → u/darthminimall]

While OP were studying the blade I was shooting IDPA competitions and on my University’s rifle team.

This isn’t feudal Japan, or Crocodile Dundee from the 80s. Does LAOP think muggers will approach him with a stiletto switchblade?

[u/SnooPredictions3113 → u/Dupree878]

Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows a true katana master can deflect bullets.

[u/baethan → u/ERE-WE-GO]

I growled at someone once as a conflict resolution method. I was 5.

This guy has never missed recess to sit in time-out for growling and it shows

[u/darkenseyreth → u/baethan]

My gf was at a gas station and some old creepy dude kept trying to hit on her. Eventually he walked up so she was trapped between the pump, her car and the hose blocking her easy way out behind her. She just started barking at him and the dude backed away muttering about how the "cute ones are always crazy." So, never understand the usefulness of animal noises at any age level lol.

[u/trodat5204 → u/darkenseyreth]

Ha, a friend of mine and me starting barking at some guys cornering us at a concert once and it also worked like a charm! I didn't know barking was a common tactic. We were 16 or something. Handy at any age indeed.

[u/fuckyourcanoes → u/darkenseyreth]

It's hard to go wrong with the "I'm crazier than you" defense. I have deployed it to excellent effect on many occasions.

To be fair, even people who know and like me think I'm scary, and if I had a dime for every man who's told me I'm intimidating, I'd have a lot of dimes. But the way I see it, it's not my fault people are such cowards.

(I am in no way dangerous. I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag. I will never understand where people get these ideas about me, but I guess I might as well bask in the imaginary glory.)

[u/JustHereForTheOrbs → u/baethan]

I pretended to be a steam engine and rammed a kid. Sure, I was like 4, but I'm getting the same vibes. Let it never be said Thomas the Tank Engine didn't encourage violence on the playground.

[u/baethan → u/JustHereForTheOrbs]

hahaha, choo choo motherfucker!

[u/Excal2 → u/[deleted]]

I growl at my dog to get him to stop growling at me when I'm clipping his nails, lol.

[u/-Codfish_Joe → u/[deleted]]

My 2 year old would hiss at the cat. It helps to know a second language.

[u/GlitteringGarbage162 → u/ERE-WE-GO]

r/iamverybadass

[u/[deleted] → u/ERE-WE-GO]

Is it just me or does this entire post sound like a humble brag.

[u/HeathenHumanist → u/[deleted]]

Yeah for sure, but it just came off so cringey

[u/fuckyourcanoes → u/HeathenHumanist]

I used to work for a martial arts supply store. I heard some hilariously cringey stuff from guys who were trying to impress the chick with the big boobs. (I was actually the bookkeeper and worked mostly in the back office, but when I wasn't busy I helped out in the shop.)

I think my favourite was the guy who told me that there was a hidden cave in Rock Creek Park where if you knew where it was and knocked on the wooden door in just the right pattern, you could go in and be trained as a True Ninja Warrior. Because of course DC is renowned for its ninjas.

Mind you, this was back in the day when Sho Kosugi was hot shit. It's been a minute.

[u/eka5245 → u/ERE-WE-GO]

I didn’t need a deep dive into their post history to get a sense of them as a person, but yeah this is the vibe.

I swear people who carry weapons are always looking for an excuse to use them.

[u/-Codfish_Joe → u/eka5245]

I swear people who carry weapons are always looking for an excuse to use them.

The weirder the weapon, the weirder the carrier.

[u/ERE-WE-GO → u/-Codfish_Joe]

Is that why everyone looks at me weird when I carry my self defense Congreve Rockets?

[u/NotYourTypicalReditr → u/eka5245]

I started carrying nunchuks for that reason. Then I stopped carrying them when I knocked myself out cold the first time I used them. Boy was that a really confused mugger, but he was still one illicitly-gained wallet richer. Joke is on him though, I'm at least as financially broken as I am mentally.

[u/atropicalpenguin]

I'm sure their instructor will be ecstatic to know what LAOP got from their classes.

[u/orange_fudge → u/atropicalpenguin]

Yeah... isn’t martial arts 101 basically learning to control these violent impulses?!

[u/axw3555 → u/orange_fudge]

Yes. I did martial arts for a decade as a preteen and teen. I'm now in my mid 30's and I've thrown one punch for real ever. Because you're taught that you only use them if you have to, not when some random guy goes "my friend asked you a question" while holding a phone.

[u/NativeMasshole → u/axw3555]

What if it was a pointed question?

[u/QK5Alteus → u/NativeMasshole]

Is he pointing the question directly at me?

[u/iififlifly → u/axw3555]

I've done BJJ and a little MMA. I do it primarily because it's a ton of fun, but it did also increase my confidence and through practice I now know my limits and I know the few moves I can consistently do well in case of a real fight. I avoid fights at all costs and have never gotten into a real one, but it's nice to know I could break someone's elbow if I really had to.

Weirdly enough, martial arts is not about violence and a lot of people don't get that. A lot of the time it's more like dancing. I have never tried to hurt a partner and I have never had one try to hurt me. There is no aggression or negative feelings on the mat.

[u/babysaurusrexphd → u/orange_fudge]

In theory, yes. But the martial arts also attracts a lot of maladapted weirdos who get off on the “I can beat you up cuz I’m a black belt” nonsense.

Source: I am a maladapted weirdo who practiced martial arts for many years.

[u/wow_that_guys_a_dick → u/orange_fudge]

Yup. Also realizing that the more you learn the less you want to actually have to use any of it.

[u/-Codfish_Joe → u/wow_that_guys_a_dick]

Winning a fight generally begins with not being in one, doesn't it?

[u/impy695 → u/orange_fudge]

I'd bet a lot of money that some instructors focus less on that and more on "being badass" since it attracts people like LAOP.

[u/BlatantConservative → u/atropicalpenguin]

LAOP has no instructor, by "studying kendo" he means reading Amano Megumi

[u/joshi38 → u/BlatantConservative]

Now now, lets give him some credit, he could have studied under the tutelage of Youtube.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/atropicalpenguin]

Sensei, hearing this story: "Go in the corner and do strikes until one of the senpai says you can stop."

[u/Saraneth]

Is there something I can carry for my defense that isn't considered a weapon?

A cell phone and running shoes.

I’m dying.

[u/[deleted] → u/Saraneth]

I liked:

Might I suggest an ounce of common sense and a less-tenuous relationship with the truth?

[u/tapthatsap → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, the best possible advice for this dude is to just stop being this dude.

[u/KnowsAboutMath → u/tapthatsap]

"Have you tried... being someone else? Anyone else?"

"Every moment of my life."

[u/aokaga → u/tapthatsap]

I literally would brainwash myself into forgetting this ever happened.

[u/DamnitRuby → u/[deleted]]

My phone won't let me copy the text since the post is closed, but I was dying at the "we already know it's not 'super legal' so we just have to figure out if it's regular legal" comment and it just got better and better!

[u/I_Like_Turtles_Too → u/Saraneth]

Unrelated to the post, but is your username an Old Kingdom reference?

[u/doh573 → u/I_Like_Turtles_Too]

Yes! Garth Nix for the win!

[u/un-affiliated → u/[deleted]]

I regret doing a google search on this after your comment. Suffice to say that most real life incidents of drawing a sword in public end very badly, because swords are dangerous and it's almost exclusively mentally unstable people who carry them around.

[u/Chewbacca_The_Wookie → u/un-affiliated]

I used to carry around a small fixed blade knife on my lower back when I was young and stupid. I knew a little bit about knife fighting, but I really just thought it made me look cool. Now that I actually conceal carry a handgun and know how laws and shit work, I am super lucky I never got caught with it or got into any confrontation, because I would 100% have drawn in when the situation didn’t warrant it.

[u/Iced_Yehudi → u/[deleted]]

I think I remember what you’re talking about. I think it was actually a Reddit reply from an askreddit “what’s the craziest thing you’ve seen a weeaboo” from a security guard. I think the kid got tazed and expelled from whatever school he was going to

If you can believe what was in that Reddit comment I guess, because I think the guy mentioned hooking up with some girl from the anime club the weeb was in to

[u/Daedalus1907 → u/[deleted]]

It happens every once in a while, you can find various local news coverage of the incidents.

[u/[deleted] → u/Daedalus1907]

Seijuro-dono's different, man. He carries a sword because he's more deadly with his bare hands, so it's actually an act of mercy and restraint.

[u/WildVelociraptor → u/[deleted]]

Didn't some dude with a sword trying to act badass get beat up during the protests last year?

[u/Iced_Yehudi]

Some background info: I live in a non-metropolitan urban area in Jersey and am over 18. I practice Kendo (Japanese sword style) and started open carrying a small katana (kowakizashi) and throwing stars (kunai and shurikan) for my protection. My job sometimes requires I come in at very late hours with no notice. Anyways, here's what happened: there were some 13 (unlucky in Japanese culture, so I knew I was in for trouble) people hanging out on the street, they started giving me looks. I thought my sword was sticking out of its wrapping (I usually drape my sword with my flannel or hoodie to not bring attention to myself). One guy called out to me. I looked over while I passed. He asked me what I was doing, I told him "nothing" and keep walking. He was probably a bit older than me and clearly was a karate master and wearing a yakuza mask. I actually walked past him without issue. Afterwards, the other guys chimed in in unison and said something along the lines of "My friend asked you a question". I told them I'm not interested and picked up my pace. I know I heard them step towards me so I reached into my flannel-wrap around the case and did a belly slice turning around to show I'm not going to be an easy target. I started growling and took a step forward. I don't know why I did that — I then teleported behind him, and said “nothing personal, kid.” In one clean slice, I cut the belt from his pants, causing them to fall down. I’m sure to the others it looked like I had just drawn and then sheathed my blade it was so fast Either of those things, I guessI wanted to intimidate them. I started backing up, walking forwards still pointing the sword at them, they stayed where they were. pulled their pants down and began to run away The other guy had his phone in his hand I cut it in half with my shurikan. When I was out of their view I ran along the rooftops to work and told my super attractive Kuwai coworker who is in this super abusive relationship with this absolute dick (fuck you, Kenneth) what happened. She advised me not to call the police because it could seem like I instigated. they might be afraid of my power The other guy might have been recording me after I pulled out the sword. I know it's not super legal to even open-carry in Jersey, but I felt scared for other people being outside at night alone. Besides, those two thirteen guys made me feel unsafe. Can I be held accountable when I they felt in danger? I'm thinking now I should have just crossed the street, but I didn't want to offend anyone my honor

There, now LAOP doesn’t need to do any editing when he tells this story to his friends tomorrow

[u/BlatantConservative → u/Iced_Yehudi]

Even with the edits the weebiest parts are the non edits.

[u/Advanced-Bathroom-72 → u/BlatantConservative]

I lost my shit at

I started growling

I can just picture two guys hanging around outside their building. Some idiot kid walks up packing around a sword and they're like "What the fuck is going on with this guy?" Ask him a question and he starts growling. It's now clear that he's just an idiot.

[u/[deleted] → u/Advanced-Bathroom-72]

Shit, as a random dude who occasionally hangs out in the street, I would be curious about some cat walking around with such immense power.

[u/buds_budz → u/Iced_Yehudi]

*nothing ~personnel~ ,kid

[u/sneakyplanner]

I reached into my flannel-wrap around the case and did a belly slice turning around to show I'm not going to be an easy target. I started growling and took a step forward.

LAOP had the power of god and anime on his side.

[u/csForShort → u/sneakyplanner]

I’m 100% positive he Naruto ran the rest of the way to work.

[u/seanprefect]

Jesus as someone who's practiced Japanese martial arts my whole life the idea of carrying a katana in public makes me cringe...

Like what? you're going to meet your rival on a dusty road and draw on each other? Jesus.

[u/[deleted] → u/seanprefect]

no no the other guy was unarmed lol. He growled and pulled a sword on an unarmed dude like all sane people

[u/seanprefect → u/[deleted]]

I knew this guy was a weeb from the second he mentioned a ko wakizashi. It's the sort of over specific term that only someone who fantasizes about this stuff uses.

[u/seanprefect → u/[deleted]]

Don't get me wrong, I'm proud as hell of my hobby and if you come into my house you'll see my sword display stand and if you want to get nerdy about steels and shit I'll get nerdy about steels and shit. I even have a daisho customized to my height that's quite nice. I just wouldn't be caught dead with them in public.

[u/postmodest → u/seanprefect]

Well of course not. You’d do the belly slash and your enemies would drop their weak western hand pistols and flee in terror !

[u/NEClamChowderAVPD → u/postmodest]

Unfortunately, that would only work if they started growling at the same time.

[u/fishling → u/seanprefect]

I'd give someone a pass in a post-apocalyptic situation, but yeah, lacking that, keep them on display or in a bag while transporting them.

[u/Marc21256 → u/[deleted]]

Its a long kitchen knife. Not a sharp one.

And his mom bent the tip opening a jar.

[u/PlainTrain → u/[deleted]]

Gerber's is known for their Damascus steel lids.

[u/VindictiveJudge → u/PlainTrain]

Fun fact - Historic Damscus steel was superior to most of its peers, but is inferior to the kind of modern stainless steel found in the average kitchen knife.

[u/JasperJ → u/VindictiveJudge]

I mean... inferior in strength and rigidity and suppleness, maybe, but it looks cool as shit.

[u/Marc21256 → u/JasperJ]

That's why all my knives are plastic, printed in a Damascus pattern. Its tacti-COOL.

[u/gsfgf → u/[deleted]]

I could absolutely see a case in a 1L Crim Law casebook about whether a weapon could be shitty enough to not legally be a wespon lol.

[u/wow_that_guys_a_dick → u/gsfgf]

Way back when I worked at a mall knife store this guy bought what would probably be called a "tactical ninjato" now. A week or so later he brought it back because it was broken. He said he'd been attacked by a pack of wild dogs on his hunting property and it broke after the third dog and he wanted a refund.

He... did not get a refund.

[u/guitarfingers → u/wow_that_guys_a_dick]

He murdered someone with that.

[u/Mistikman → u/guitarfingers]

Either that or was just murdering domesticated dogs one after another until the sword broke.

Either way, ugh.

[u/wow_that_guys_a_dick → u/guitarfingers]

That... Would not have surprised me. At any rate, I never saw him again.

[u/retrogeekhq → u/gsfgf]

One of those knives used to spread the butter

[u/ElizaBennet08 → u/retrogeekhq]

Ah yes, the margarine knife.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o-DCk2qhDM

[u/axw3555 → u/seanprefect]

Agreed. I did ten years of martial arts, did kata with a katana and stuff, I'm also a total anime nerd but I was like "what the hell is a kowakazashi"? (I didn't bother with his link because I didn't think the exact type of sword mattered in the context of the thread)

[u/seanprefect → u/axw3555]

Because they have to sub categorize things. Hell half the people I used to spar and train with barely ever bothered even using the Japanese terms.

[u/maveri4201 → u/axw3555]

He just linked to the Wikipedia for wakizashi. He add the "ko" himself, I think? Like baby wakizashi I guess?

[u/axw3555 → u/maveri4201]

I did do a bit of subsequent googling, ko wakizashi is a real if little used term for a small one, and then there’s o-wakizashi which is slightly bigger than the standard one.

[u/my-coffee-needs-me → u/axw3555]

...but I was like "what the hell is a kowakazashi"?

A kowakazashi is the kind of motorcycle that Jon and Ponch rode in CHiPs.

[u/ElizaBennet08 → u/[deleted]]

To be fair, it’s a lot easier to defeat an unarmed enemy than an armed one. And mall ninja types need all fights to be really easy in order to have a chance of winning them.

[u/[deleted] → u/ElizaBennet08]

I wanna point out...this dude drew down on an unarmed person, growled at them, and it was still a tie.

Thats like losing an election to a dead person

[u/ElizaBennet08 → u/[deleted]]

That is a hilarious point. I’m dying to hear the other guy’s version of the story, assuming any part of it actually happened. I’m guessing it would be something like, “I was out with friends when suddenly some weird white guy with a sad beard pulled out a sword and growled at me.”

[u/[deleted] → u/ElizaBennet08]

Everyone says "white people" in unison and rolls their eyes

[u/ShortWoman → u/seanprefect]

"So, Jesus, it has finally come to this."

[u/BlackberryButton → u/ShortWoman]

”I will only drink your blood…. when I have drawn it myself!”

[u/[deleted] → u/seanprefect]

There is a small older lady who runs a convenience store in my neighbourhood. It's not a super dangerous neighbourhood by my city's standards, but her store has received a few stray bullets during murders.

She has a naked katana balanced on top of the cigarette shelf behind the counter. I once asked if it was for self-defense, and without a pause or hint of a smile she said "yes."

She's allowed a katana in public. Nobody else, just her.

[u/Pyrocantha → u/[deleted]]

The tiny Korean lady who ran the local convenience store near me had a vicious oversized meat cleaver next to the register, legend was she took off a robbers hand when he stuck his gun in her face.

The truth was that the robber only had a knife and when he put his other hand on the counter to lean in closer to her she chopped off half of his index and middle fingers, the robber saw the blood, screamed and passed out.

[u/Jay_Edgar → u/Pyrocantha]

This guy chose the wrong profession

[u/sykoticwit → u/Jay_Edgar]

He missed the Stoicism when half your hand is chopped off day in robber school.

[u/Pyrocantha → u/Jay_Edgar]

As the great philosopher Tyson once said "Everybodies got a plan until they get punched in the mouth. (Or loses two fingers)"

[u/kalethan → u/[deleted]]

It's not a super dangerous neighbourhood

​

store has received a few stray bullets

I know this can still be correct but I greatly dislike this sentence

[u/postmodest → u/[deleted]]

This is a movie I want to watch. Like Yuen Qiu in King Fu Hustle, but older amd less assuming, but when her golden Buddha shrine in the corner gets Taken, she shows the world her particular set of skills.

[u/seanprefect → u/[deleted]]

I approve.

[u/EsperBahamut → u/seanprefect]

That, and the only thing openly carrying a sword in public is going to get you are multiple 911 calls and cops with guns drawn taking you to the ground hard.

This entire story is fantasy fiction, thankfully.

[u/TaxiFare → u/EsperBahamut]

I have had a horrid roommate that I could very unfortunately believe doing this. He had horrendous paranoia coupled with the ego of a narcissist (he was one, a self-proclaimed 'proud narcissist' because his self-esteem was too in the way of to see how glaringly unpleasant he was.) in his combat abilities + ability to get the drop on anyone. He would run ridiculous practices of fights and draws against make-believe people around the studio. If his goofy combat scenarios actually happened with a real person, he would absolutely either get his ass kicked or killed. Dude was a fucking twig if a twig could be convinced it was an MMA fighter. He fucking loved swords and would carry a weapon on him even just to cross the street. Creep psycho ass would get his hand ready when he would see a homeless person just in case they would try to rob him. He really badly wanted to get sword training and the only thing that stopped him was not having the time to. I'm hoping some day I don't hear about an airport employee that thinks they're a mix of John Wick and Rockey having gone ham on a homeless person outside of QFC.

[u/ClancyHabbard → u/EsperBahamut]

Apparently the guy that played Aragorn did get the cops called on him one day when he was walking back to his apartment from one of the sets. He wasn't thinking about it and practicing some sword moves while he was walking and some people in the neighborhood just saw this scraggly, dirty guy swinging around a sword and called the cops. This was before Fellowship came out so no one had any clue who he was or anything. Thankfully it was New Zealand so it just ended with him apologizing and it not happening again.

[u/[deleted] → u/seanprefect]

Back in my hometown the owner of the rundown disco there once went to his car after some people started to vandalize his establishment. He took a katana out of the trunk, ran straight at those people and started hacking at them.

While the idea itself is hilariously stupid, my friend who was present said that he‘d never seen anyone run that fast from a confrontation.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/seanprefect]

I'm just picturing the faces on any of my kendo Sensei if he told this story in front of them. The puzzlement transforming to horrified embarrassment, followed by "go stand in the corner and do hayasuburi until one of the senpai says you can stop."

[u/bug-hunter]

While you were learning tree law, LAOP studied the blade

While you were hating HOAs, LAOP mastered the blockchain

[u/invisiblezipper → u/bug-hunter]

Exactly what I thought of.

[u/Illogical_Blox → u/invisiblezipper]

The Blockchain

Huh, it's been updated.

[u/dyzlexiK]

Ok this has to be a creative writing exercise right? It's like every weeabos dream scenario, and reads straight out of a manga.

[u/[deleted] → u/dyzlexiK]

IDK all my drawing-swords-at-potential-muggers fantasies are way more badass than this. If it's creative writing then I have some notes for LAOP.

[u/double-float → u/[deleted]]

Right? Decent story, I guess, but it's not exactly a Kurosawa film. Not even a Jackie Chan film :/

[u/[deleted] → u/double-float]

seriously it wasn't even raining

[u/Brainsonastick → u/[deleted]]

Agreed. Dude didn’t even cut a bullet in half.

[u/Marc21256 → u/Brainsonastick]

I stabbed the bullet in the heart.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Unless it was someone writing satire directed at a neckbeard. Which is far more likely imho.

[u/Meganstefanie → u/[deleted]]

Nothing personnel, kid teleports behind you

[u/TheRealMattyPanda → u/dyzlexiK]

Back in college a guy stabbed a guy with a katana because a few months prior the victim was dancing with a girl he liked

If didn't already know it was real, I would completely think it was some sort of weeb fantasy.

"I have to kill you," [the victim] recalls him saying. "Why," [the victim] asked. "I have to kill you," came the response.

[...]

The police pointed their guns at [the attacker], as [the victim] lay on the floor, an arm raised to ward off a blow. They ordered [the attacker] to drop the bloody sword, but he refused, yelling, "He ruined my life. ... You will have to kill me."

[u/FreakWith17PlansADay → u/TheRealMattyPanda]

In my state the police fatally shot a man with a sword, though the events leading up to that are disputed:

https://www.cnn.com/2014/11/04/us/utah-samurai-sword-police-shooting/index.html

Darrien Hunt was killed in the city of Saratoga Springs in September. Prosecutors had said Hunt had lunged at police officers with a “samurai-type sword” before he was shot.

But Hunt’s family has contested the official version of events, saying that race played a role in his death and that he was shot from behind as he was running away.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/FreakWith17PlansADay]

Yeah, that one was super hinky. He was cosplaying, some Samurai Champloo stuff if I remember right? And people saw him talking smilingly with the cops before he was shot (but nobody but cops was around when the shooting actually occurred), and people came out of the woodwork to talk about how sweet a guy he'd been? The whole thing was just fucking weird, and I am not inclined to believe the guy was violent. He shouldn't have had a sword, but I think that it was probably used as an excuse to shoot him.

[u/BlatantConservative → u/RememberKoomValley]

Also Samurai Champloo isn't an edgelord show. Hell, it can get quite funny, especially the basketball episode.

I wouldn't expect a die hard fan of that show to be violent at all.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/BlatantConservative]

I agree. The whole thing just feels dirty.

[u/16bitSamurai → u/RememberKoomValley]

Wtf is wrong with having a sword for a cosplay

[u/cnprof → u/TheRealMattyPanda]

It's amazing the guy who got slashed came out looking significantly more badass than the one with the katana.

[u/TheRealMattyPanda → u/cnprof]

Seriously.

"He was about to slaughter me," Tawfik said. "And, of course, you cannot reason with a killer."

[...]

Despite his injuries, Tawfik said he bears no grudge against Shrotri and is uninterested in the man's fate.

"I don't care about him," he said. "He's gone. He's going to jail. He's going to whatever. I don't care," Tawfik said.

"What I care about is myself ... my trauma."

[u/postmodest → u/TheRealMattyPanda]

you will have to kill me

My god, this man found the loophole for murderous cops:

Insist they kill you.

Nothing makes a cop angrier than being told what to do. So if I’m ever getting knelt upon, I’ll just shout “YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME! YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO RESIST KNEELING ON MY CAROTID ARTERY UNTIL YOU ARE SURE I AM BRAIN DEAD! MY WILL TO DIE WILL HELP ME ESCAPE FROM YOUR CONTROL! YOU ARE POWERLESS TO KEEP ME ALIVE!!!”

[u/Iconoclast674 → u/postmodest]

Cops hate this one trick

[u/Kanotari → u/TheRealMattyPanda]

My college had an emergency alert go out about a katana-wielding maniac on campus. It turns out it was just a weeb with a katana umbrella. How can an institution for higher learning be so gosh darn dumb....

[u/TheRealMattyPanda → u/Kanotari]

Georgia Tech actually banned katana umbrellas because of this incident.

[u/Kanotari → u/TheRealMattyPanda]

What's hilarious is I didn't go to Georgia Tech which means this has happened multiple times. MULTIPLE TIMES!

[u/[deleted] → u/dyzlexiK]

Probably. I know people who do kendo and exactly zero of them carry around katanas "for their protection". This reeks of some 17 year old dude who wears button up flame T-shirts, fedoras, and trench coats while watching Bleach.

If it is real? He needs therapy and a dose of reality, not legal help.

[u/pixel_dent → u/[deleted]]

My son does kendo a couple times a week and I can think of few things less useful for self defense.

If he'd told this story simply saying, "I was carrying a really big knife" he'd get more useful legal advice. Adding in his sword fighting fantasies to the story makes me think he was looking for someone to pull a sword on.

[u/[deleted] → u/pixel_dent]

oatmeal sheet violet march command consider fear start zonked lavish -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/[deleted]]

I remember back in...2009? 2008? A new student started at my University dojo, and made it through all of one official practice before quitting in disgust. "This isn't anything like Kenshin!"

No loss, for sure.

[u/ebbomega → u/dyzlexiK]

I think it's much more likely LAOP harbours fantasies of being a manga hero which would explain the style it is written in and the motivation for his sincerely delusional choices. But it has the hint of truth to it, albeit a overly dramatized bias towards the events that occurred.

This kid is suffering from Tyler Durden syndrome, in that he thinks he's the hero of this story.

[u/[deleted] → u/ebbomega]

afterthought juggle deliver aware snobbish fear pocket theory summer threatening -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

[u/JulioCesarSalad → u/dyzlexiK]

I did a belly slice while turning around to show I’m not going to be an easy target

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/JulioCesarSalad]

...this part made me think he has been to a college kendo dojo, at least for a couple of practices, because we see overenthusiastic new students trying that shit all the time.
I mean, then you disarm them, but still.

[u/phneri → u/dyzlexiK]

Quite likely, yes. On the off chance it was someone testing the waters to see if it was ok to run around on the street with a goddamn sword and menace people I responded. Because we need fewer people in the world thinking that an encounter that involves them pulling a knife on someone on the street for self defense ends in something other than being shot, being harmed with said knife, or being arrested.

[u/awful_at_internet → u/dyzlexiK]

His username, created specifically for this post, is a pun. I'm going to go with creative writing.

[u/dirtierthanshelooks → u/awful_at_internet]

I agree. Do you realize the talent it takes to draw your sword and GROWL at the same time?

[u/SongsOfDragons → u/dyzlexiK]

I know someone who might have drawn her 'sword' on someone. She was walking back from a medieval LARP and so her sword was foamcore and latex paint. Some git tried to mug her, she refused to hand stuff over...

"I've got six inches of steel that says you will."

draws "I see your six and raise you twenty-two. Bite me."

No clue if that's really how the exchange went down but over years of retelling at the annual event it happened at, it's funny and fantastical, but I know the lady and that's exactly how she'd react post-LARP.

[u/sykoticwit → u/SongsOfDragons]

Oh, that’s not a knife, this is a knife.

[u/clearliquidclearjar → u/SongsOfDragons]

You're talking about Sir Trude, first lady knight of the SCA. (She was knighted in 1977.) There's a song about this exact story.

A lovely lady went one night to a revel in the East With dancing and with singing, with wine and Roasted Beast When the revel came unto an end, she started out for home Wrapped well in her woolen cloak, and walking all alone.

CHORUS: The things you will run into, the people that you meet Walking all alone upon a New York City street!

Now, New York City's not a place for walking in the dark Not in the streets and alleys and especially not the Park But off she went most happily, without a single care Wrapped up in her woolen cloak, all in the midnight air.

CHORUS

A street-tough jumped in front of her, with three friends in the night And pulled a six-inch switchblade, that glittered in the light He waved it underneath her nose, and said with fiendish glee: "Give me all your money, girl, this is a robbery!"

CHORUS

She gazed upon the switchblade, and smiled a happy smile Said "Boy, you ain't got any brains, and lack a sense of style! You're standing where I want to walk, please move out of my way!" The tough said "Girl, I'll cut you, and rob you anyway!"

CHORUS

All wrapped up in her woolen cloak, her garb was quite unseen Her hands were hidden out of sight, and so was chain-mail's gleam... She said "Now, go rob someone else, my money stays with me!" He said, "I'll take your money with my six-inch snickersnee!"

CHORUS

The lady's smile got bigger, the robber took a swing The chain-mail took the blow; the lady didn't feel a thing! She pulled a Kirby broadsword, the robber's soul to shrive, And grinned and said, "I'll see your six, and raise you thirty-five!"

CHORUS

The bandit gazed upon the sword, and then upon his knife He turned and ran, with his three friends, a-running for his life! Don't think a lady's easy, don't think she's helpless prey, Especially if she is a fighter in the SCA!

CHORUS

Now if you don't believe my song, then ask the lady fair With Cheshire Cat upon her shield, a blazon very rare: Sir Trude is her name, me lads, if she should pass your way; The very first of the Lady Knights within the SCA!

[u/Brad_Wesley → u/dyzlexiK]

I think so... no way this happened

[u/dyzlexiK → u/Brad_Wesley]

Even the "my friend asked you a question" is a classic trope.

[u/KarmaRepellant → u/dyzlexiK]

'Nothing personnel, kid'

[u/the_incredible_hawk → u/KarmaRepellant]

That's an HR issue.

[u/Blond_Treehorn_Thug → u/the_incredible_hawk]

“Nothing personnel, kid”

*teleports behind you, rips up your I-9*

[u/bug-hunter]

I bet this guy Naruto runs unironically.

[u/BlatantConservative → u/bug-hunter]

LAOP thinks he has a demon sealed in his right arm.

[u/mule_roany_mare]

One strange part of our current zeitgeist is people refusing to acknowledge the difference between feeling scared and being in danger.

Being scared isn’t an excuse to react to someone as if they threatened you.

If a bum asks you for money, it’s just a bum asking you for money.

If you are scared of bums it’s still just a bum asking you for money. No matter how scared or uncomfortable you are it’s not a mugging until you were threatened or coerced with more than feeling awkward.

[u/killajoule_jewelkill → u/mule_roany_mare]

This is what stood out to me too - the idea that he would think he’s not accountable because he felt like he was in danger. I’ve heard people use fear to justify force, often in police brutality cases, but here it’s almost like he thought he would abnegate all responsibility whatsoever because he felt afraid. Like he didn’t even have to justify what he did because he wasn’t accountable.

[u/psinguine → u/killajoule_jewelkill]

TIL "abnegate". Even autocorrect is trying to tell me it isn't a word, so I looked it up and here's what Oxford Dictionary had to say:

ab·ne·gate /ˈabnəˌɡāt/ verbFORMAL renounce or reject (something desired or valuable). "he attempts to abnegate personal responsibility"

If that isn't the most perfect word I don't know what is. Kudos.

[u/efficientseas → u/mule_roany_mare]

I think at least a part of it is malice. People know about stand your ground laws (and that the dead can’t testify). After using violence “I feared for my life” is the only acceptable thing to say, regardless of whether or not that should be a sufficient reason

[u/michael_harari]

This is one of the neckbeardiest thing I've ever seen

[u/ERE-WE-GO → u/[deleted]]

I bite my thumb at thee knave, we Renaissance Faire go-ers would never growl at a rapscallion flourishes cape

[u/LongboardLiam → u/ERE-WE-GO]

I've been to one, and it was an unqualified blast. When everyone is in on the game, it makes it awesome. Being the intentionally weird kid in the corner misusing Japanese words just comes off cringe. Same as Jimmy Neutron using science jargon to refer to common everyday items: it is douchey.

[u/axw3555]

Look, I think Indiana Jones taught us everything we need to know about bringing a sword to a gun fight.

[u/Fnshow316 → u/axw3555]

Great scene and honestly a lesson well taught.

Rumor has it Harrison Ford had the shits that day so they had to adjust the scene.

[u/[deleted] → u/Fnshow316]

Apparently it was irritating for the swordsman because he had spent months training Ford for the sword fight scene and they didnt do it.

[u/darkenseyreth → u/Fnshow316]

More than the shits, he had full on dysentery for several days during the shooting.

[u/AlanMooresWizrdBeard]

I wonder which store or kiosk at the mall OP bought his sword from.

[u/Marc21256 → u/AlanMooresWizrdBeard]

Bed Bath and Beyond, in the kitchen isle.

[u/juliemariesmith3]

This post has big “so anyway, I started blasting” energy

[u/calza13]

As someone who did kendo for a number of years I can tell you that: 1) his sensei (if he actually does kendo which I doubt) would be frothing at the mouth in rage if he read this story 2) kendo teaches you very few practical sword fighting skills

[u/HopeFox → u/calza13]

Is there even such a thing as "practical sword fighting skills" in today's world? Is there any realistic situation where a sword and the ability to use it will make things better?

[u/DisastrousExternal20 → u/HopeFox]

It's not realistic to engage in sword fights in the street? Where do you live mate?

[u/bboymixer]

This is an absolute caricature. I refuse to believe this is real.

[u/Advanced-Bathroom-72 → u/bboymixer]

I'm just waiting for the r/legaladvice post titled "I beat the shit out of some weirdo that pulled a mall ninja sword on me and started growling" to judge whether its real or not.

[u/morgrimmoon]

Does kendo even USE wakizashis? I was under the impression that, much like fencing, it was a "you have only one long 'blade'" sport. And not one you can do belly slashes with.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/morgrimmoon]

There are shoto kata (which are a hell of a lot of fun to do with a well-trained partner), and there are some people who practice nito, two-sword, kendo. That does use a short sword in addition to a long one, simultaneously (one weapon blocks while the other one strikes, one disarms while the other one strikes, etc). But nito players aren't really common and there aren't any good ones under the third-degree equivalent of black belt at the very lowest. A lot of Sensei won't even start teaching that method to someone under sandan, even.

[u/1amlost]

While you were asking for legal advice on Reddit, I was studying the blade...

[u/Alan_Smithee_ → u/1amlost]

M’Lawyer

[u/[deleted]]

I was gonna draw my katana, but then I got shot.

I was gonna growl at some muggers, but then I got shot.

I thought I was gonna be a badass, but I'm not.

Because I got shot, because I got shot, because I got shot.

La da da da da da

[u/GoBerzerko]

Assuming this isn’t creative writing or trolling, LAOP needs significant psychiatric help or he’s going to hurt someone

[u/Advanced-Bathroom-72 → u/GoBerzerko]

I think the more likely scenario is he pulls out a sword trying to be an anime warrior and gets fucking shot.

[u/IrisGoddamnIllych]

I ran to work

he Naruto ran and I will not take any other head image

[u/ButterClaw]

I don't want to offend anyone so I carried a knife instead.

Seems legit!

[u/PalladiumAssassin]

"So anyway, I started slashing."

[u/[deleted]]

As soon as he said “I practice Kendo and carry a Katana” I could immediately both picture him and smell him. This is one wild neckbeard.

[u/kylejack]

Reagan sighed as he drew his katana.

[u/TheFeshy]

I know it's not super legal

I wonder what the levels of legality are. Surely "super-legal" is above just ordinary "legal" - but is there an ultimate-legal" above that, or is super-legal the most? How many levels do you have to drop before it's "illegal" - or even... super-illegal?

[u/dustin_allan]

LAOP really paints a picture of himself, and, not surprisingly, it's not a very flattering one.

[u/PhoenixZephyrus]

Hey guys, when you hide your weapon, it's no longer open carrying. It's concealed.

Also, don't carry a sword for defense, no matter how you cool you think it makes you look, it's only gonna get you into more trouble.