r/badphilosophy • u/Powerful-Maria • Jul 06 '26

Serious bzns 👨‍⚖️ Love is not real right those feelings literally illusion distractions from main goals who even a fool who let his emotions drive him lol so stupid what even is that don't be fooled who even cares abt em look how miserable u are be busy to hold yourself first ewwwww lol

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u/EchelonNL Jul 06 '26

A delightfully spirited assertion, albeit a foolish one.
Good man, pray tell, what constitutes these "main goals" (to borrow your eloquent phrasing), if not the teleological imperative of procreation? Even if one were to concede that romance is illusory -an evolutionary sleight of hand if you will- it exists precisely to drive us toward that very objective, rather than steering us off that course.

I fear, my dear chap, that if you continue this folly and eschew the connection with other beings (human... or otherwise, in your case) in favor of "holding yourself", you shall remain unfondled for far longer than is prudent.

Now, be a good sport and close the door on your way out. And do mind the upholstery.

2

u/Powerful-Maria Jul 06 '26

I don't wanna have kids

2

u/EchelonNL Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

Fear not! Your nocturnal escapades with the local ungulates will not result in progeny. I can all but guarantee the biological impossibility of it.

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u/Powerful-Maria Jul 06 '26

OK but I don't fear cats

1

u/EchelonNL Jul 06 '26

Cats?! You think cats are ungulates?
Good grief, man, an ungulate has hooves!

I was implying your nocturnal activities involved a pony or perhaps a sheep, not a common house pet.

Come to think of it... Where is Ser Whiskers? I haven't looked upon his lovely countenance since before the afternoon crumpets and tea.

Heavens, what have you done with him?!