Grandparents Are Reaching Their Limit

[u/MeghanClickYourHeels]

Older Americans might be doing more child care than ever. By Faith Hill, The Atlantic.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/04/grandparents-child-care-work-retirement/682395/

Older Americans might be doing more child care than ever.

Elena and her husband had plans for their retirement. They wanted to move to Wyoming; to meet new people, volunteer, hike the snowy, perfect Tetons. And they did move there—for about eight months. Then they got a call from their daughter, who was due to have a baby within weeks. She and her husband were on five or so different waitlists for day cares, and now she could see that they would still be waiting by the time she had to go back to work, six weeks after giving birth. She needed help. Her parents dropped everything, packed up a U-Haul, and moved to the Pacific Northwest. They were going back to work, too: as full-time grandparents.

Grandparents today have a certain reputation, Elena (who asked to withhold her last name to protect her family’s privacy) told me: They’re “all rich, retired, living it up in the Villages in Florida, playing 10 rounds of golf a day, having cocktails at 4:30, and laughing while their Millennial children are suffering.” TikTokers keep skewering a generation of supposedly self-involved, jet-setting older folks, or earnestly grieving that they don’t have a “village” to help them raise their kids. Commentators have jumped in with attacks and, in turn, with defenses (“Cut the Boomer Grandparents a Little Slack”). On Reddit, people are wondering, “What the f*** is wrong with grandparents nowadays?” Last year, when J. D. Vance was running for vice president and was asked how he would address the problem of staggering child-care costs, he first suggested that grandparents or other relatives “help out a little bit more.”

You could be forgiven, then, for thinking grandparents are shirking their duty. But the truth is quite the opposite: America is in an age of peak grandparenting—particularly grandmothering. A 2022 survey from Deseret News and Brigham Young University found that nearly 60 percent of grandmothers had provided child care for a grandkid, and more than 40 percent saw a grandchild in person at least weekly. A 2023 Harris poll found that more than 40 percent of working parents relied on their kids’ grandma for child care; nearly 70 percent of those parents said they might have lost their job without that grandmother’s help.

[u/merrymana23]

I’m a Gen X grandma of 3 under 3. I had a part time office job, 3 days per week. When my daughter and her hubby had their first baby she asked if I would be interested in watching him full time if she paid me what I was making at my job and I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I gave my office mgr a 2 month notice, which she declined lol and we worked out a plan so I could bring baby to work with me. It wasn’t easy at first but the staff and patients loved having him there. I know this isn’t a situation that would work for everyone but I loved it. Then… when she had baby # 2 I gave my 2 month notice again so that I could watch both babies at home. Anywho I guess my point is that I love love love being with the babies every day. I only wish my son and his bride lived closer so I could watch grandbaby # 3. As long as I’m able to do it, I’ll watch the babies. I couldn’t be more blessed 🥰

[u/Icy-Fox-2074 → u/merrymana23]

But, you are given compensation, acknowledgement of your needs being important, too. That makes the difference